You can do it Ryan.

You can do it Ryan.

You can do it Ryan.

You can do it Ryan.

I was repeating this line in my head while sitting in my car in front of Kanan's house, as soon as I parked my car, all my previous adrenaline rush just vanished, but one thing is for sure I am doing it and I am doing it today.

I just don't want to fall too deep without knowing if he even likes me; it would be a really hard recovery in that case.

So making up my mind I got out of my car and straight to the front door of Kanan's house, and without even giving myself a single second to even backtrack, I rang the super fancy looking doorbell.

I only had to wait for like 5 seconds when I heard the door opening.

"Took you long enough" the person who opened the door said.

"Huh, oh Hi kavya how are you" I greeted kanan's sister.

"I am dandy, but you don't seem fine.... I saw you sitting in your car, contemplating God knows what for past five minutes" She replied.

"Oh you saw me."

"Well duh one of my room's windows faces the front" She said while pointing upwards probably to her room.

"Oh well yeah I am here to..."She completely cut me off by saying "to see kanan"

"Yeah" I answered her along with a nod.

"Lemme call the looser....KANAN.......KANAN.......KANAN.......DON'T MAKE ME COME UP THERE.........KANAN"she only stopped once we heard shuffling up there, damn this girl got herself a powerful set of lungs, she then smiled cheekily at me as if she didn't shake the entire house with her voice.

Once I Saw Kanan coming down the stairs my complete attention shifted to him, his eyes looked kinda droopy like he has been sleeping which obviously explains the wrinkles in his clothes, he didn't saw me at first just looked at his sister with a scowl on his face I didn't see what facial expressions Kavya was projecting because my eyes were only focused on him, and when he looked in my direction I realized how much effect he has on me and how desperately I wanted him to reciprocate my feelings, this is the first time I saw him after the day I kissed him, remembering that kind of made me shift awkwardly in my place.

As if in some sort of trance we continue to look at each other only to be interrupted by Kavya who literally stood in our line of sight to break our eye contact.

And upon realizing the situation I averted my eyes for a second.

"H-Hi Ryan"Kanan said in his ever present shy voice making me smile.

"Hey"I replied while putting my hands in pockets of my jeans.

"Wooooo tension.....tension"Kavya said in a mocking voice making me raise my eyebrows at her.

"Oh uhmmm why don't you come inside.....Should I get you black coffee"Kanan said coming down the stairs and standing near Kavya.

He remembers that I only drink black coffee, the thought made me smile like a lunatic and I am pretty sure I heard Kavya say creep only to cover it with a cough when Kanan nudged her.

"Nah, but thanks for asking ....I actually want to talk to you......alone"I said to him while looking at any sign of discomfort on his face when I mentioned alone, but there was none.

He gave me a nod and said "Uhmmm we can go up to my room, is that okay" I gave him a nod in response so he started climbing the stairs with me in tow, halfway up the stairs he turned but looked past me, making me turn only to see Kavya slowly creeping behind us.

Kanan crossed his arms , maybe to look strict but it actually made him look super cute.

"Kavya No"he said, making Kavya pout and mutter party pooper under her breath but when kanan didn't budge from his stance, kavya backtracked but not before saying a high pitched "FINE."

Once she reached the bottom of the stairs she turned towards us and said " Yo kanan, I see almighty Ship Kyan sailing smoothly."

"Kavya"kanan shouted with an embarrassed face, then gave me a sheepish smile.

Ah probably an inside joke between siblings.

Once we reached his room he shut his door and locked it, when he saw me looking at him he started wringing his fingers together and said "Uhmm I don't want kavya to interrupt whatever you want to say, so I locked the door, if you want I can unlock it."

"No its okay"I said while taking his hands in mine because they were turning white the way he was gripping them.

My action made him look directly into my eyes, I didn't let go of his hands and said "Kanan"

"Yeah"His reply was barely audible.

"Do you- Do you hate me because I kissed you a few days back....without your consent"God the sentence left a bitter taste in my mouth.

He averted his eyes for a second then shook his head.

"Do you know why I kissed you" I asked him making him look at me again with his gorgeous eyes.

"I—I uhmm No" he replied.

"Because I like you" I said to him while gently squeezing his hands that I was still holding with my own pair.

"Wh-What"he asked, shock evident on his face.

"I really like you kanan, these past few days made me realize how much I care for you, how deep are my feelings towards you, I just wanted you to know" I said to him.

"But- But you uh ran after that" he whispered.

"Yeah about that I uhmm I actually thought that you hated me for kissing you, I mean it's one thing to be kissed and to be kissed by another guy is on totally different level, do you—did that kiss was disgusting to you" I asked him while stroking his soft cheek.

"I oh I mean No.........Are you gay?"he asked but didn't stop me from touching him.

"I am not sure I am not too fond of labels, the one thing that I am sure of is that I like you, I really do."I answered truthfully.

"Are you sure it's not some weird attraction, A phase" his words made me scrunch my eyebrows I cupped his face in my hands and said "No it's not a weird attraction, I am sure of that.... I just want to know if you feel anything about me, because I really like you , If you don't like me that's okay I'll never bother you again" I started to retract my hands back to myself that were on kanan's cheeks but he surprised me by placing his own hands on top of mine and said...

"I like you too Ryan, I really do" and before he could even shy away from it my lips were on his.