(

My parents aren't in when I get home, so I head straight upstairs and I jump in the shower to let the hot water wash away the shame and tears. At least that's the plan.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Just when did I become such a crybaby?!

I close my eyes and rest the back of my head against the tiled wall. I've never felt so embarrassed in my entire life! I've never cried in front of anybody other than my parents and Danny before. And this guy just goes and turns me into a vulnerable, anxious, blubbering mess without even doing a damn thing. It's not even like he said anything wrong or did anything to upset me.

It was all in my head... but I guess that doesn't matter anymore. I can't face him ever again. How could I? After chasing after him for months, I had an anxiety attack within minutes of him finally accepting my invitation to go on a date... and I bloody ran off... without more than a half-assed apology. Christ, he must think I'm a complete nutter...

I turn off the hot water and grab a towel. My phone buzzes and I see it's Danny.

Dannyboy:

Shit, I'd completely forgotten I'd texted him whilst Lex was getting changed for our date.

Jimmyboy:

Dannyboy:

And so, as always, Danny was coming to my rescue, no questions asked. There was a reason why he was my best friend. Whereas I was painfully shy and socially awkward, he was loud, flamboyant, in-your-face and confident. We completed one another, we just worked. Despite him scaring the shit out of me when I first joined the cycling team, we still hit it off right away. He's loyal as fuck and will always have my back. It was actually him who convinced me to pursue the man of my dreams (and no, I don't even mean it in a cheesy way, I literally spent every day and night dreaming about the Adonis I'd met at his brother's party). Only thing was, I never told Danny who the object of my desire was. Not that it matters anymore at this point...

I am healed from my crush... my infatuation... I have to be.

When the doorbell rings, I quickly throw on some shorts and a T-shirt and run down the stairs taking them two at a time. I open the door and Danny drops the takeaway bag and pulls me into a tight hug - no escape possible... or breathing for that matter. Yeah, one of those hugs.

"Don't fret, Dr Dannylove is here and I come bearing gifts of edible nature! Tell me everything, honey", he whispers in my ear whilst he strokes my back in a soothing motherly fashion.

I eventually manage to break free from Danny's cobra-like embrace and send him up to my bedroom before going to the kitchen to get forks and plates. When I join him in my room, he's already unpacked all the takeaway boxes and it smells fabulicious! Nothing like food to heal your heart and soul and that's the God's honest truth.

Once we've settled down on my bed with our plates on our lap, today's events just burst out of me. He listens intently whilst I spill out every detail and thought that crossed my mind before, during and after the catastrophic date.

Once I'm done, he takes a deep breath before giving his feedback on the situation. "Um... it doesn't sound that bad, you know", he starts but instantly stops and changes direction. "OK, so maybe the whole part about you having a minor breakdown during the date that you basically harassed him into isn't that great... or the way you just fucked off without any kind of explanation... huh, the poor guy is probably wrecking his brains trying to figure out what the hell he did to upset y-"

"Yeah, yeah, I feel bad enough already. I know full well that I blew it, OK! The whole thing, whatever we could have had, didn't even have a fighting chance... I killed it all off inside of my head before...", I trail off, honestly not knowing where to go from there. It's all pointless. Hopeless.

"And of course, let's not forget the fact that you were being a little lolita, trying to seduce an older man. I mean, that just screams drama", he half jokes but he is right. I've been the one doing all the pushing with my daily visits to his store, asking him out every single time before I left to go home or training. Of course, I never actually expected him to say yes. The man is a God, a walking wet dream... and that's all he was ever supposed to be... a dream.

"So, you really believe it's a lost cause?", Danny asks me tentatively but he knows the answer. I know he sees the despair and hopelessness in my eyes. He runs his fingers through his dark hair before snuggling up to me, resting his head on my shoulder.

"Hey Jimmyboy, are you ever going to tell me who the mysterious sex God was who got you all messed up like this?"

I don't answer, so he knows better than to press the matter... for now.