I'm all nerves. I've been standing outside Lexy's appartment block for almost twenty minutes now and I'm too chicken shit to ring his doorbell. Danny gave me his address, as I didn't want to ambush him at work... hell, I don't even know whether he'll accept to talk to me after the way I treated him two days ago. My palms are sweaty... I can't do this... maybe it's still too fresh... maybe I should wait a couple more days to let everything cool down. Yeah, maybe in a couple of days...

Suddenly the door opens and I gasp when I see Lex standing in front of me in a white button-up shirt and right black jeans. I just stare at him like an idiot.

"Did you want to come inside then or did you just want to camp outside my block all day?"

I'm super embarrassed and can't help nibbling on my lower lip but I eventually nod and walk though the door he is still holding open for me. He points me towards the lift and we ride up to his place, which is on the top floor by the looks of it.

"How did you kn-"

"I have windows, Jimmy. You've been pacing around out here for ages." D'uh. I nod.

When the lift doors open, Lex takes my hand and leads me in to his appartment. It's nice and spacious but also feels really homely. His walls are full of photos, I'm guessing family and friends, and large modern pictures of vintage motorbikes. Can't say I'm surprised there. It does look pretty cool... but that's not why I am here. I take a deep breath and look back at him but before I can start on my rehearsed apology, he pushes me towards the couch and hands me the remote.

"Here, pick anything you want, anything at all. Drink?"

I just nod. I have to admit I have no idea what's going on. I flop down on the couch and find a music channel. Lex returns with a can of coke, a bottle of water and three different kinds of juices.

"I wasn't sure what you wanted so..."

"Just water is fine, thanks Lex". I can't help the smile that forms on my lips. I'm so relieved he is talking to me. He's distant but civil. God, I'd be holding a grudge for months if I were in his place... so why isn't he...?

When he looks into my eyes, I don't see anger or hurt... just serenity. Right, well, here goes...

"Lex? I... um, I need to apologise for all the horrible things I said to you at the wedding. I promise you I didn't mean any of it and I honestly don't know where it all came from or why I even listened to all that shit he said... why I didn't push him away and defend myself... and you. I was just... frozen, numb... I wasn't myself. None of that was me. I don't want you to hate me for what I said and I sure as hell don't want you do think I hate you because that would be the furthest thing from the truth and I don-"

I'm interrupted by his lips crashing on mine. My heart stops. My brain freezes. Does that mean I'm forgiven? Wha-

Lex cups my cheeks but breaks off the kiss. "Jimmy, I know, ok? I know. We're ok. I wish you had let me take care of you on Saturday night but we're OK. OK?"

I nod. Shock still obvious in my face, I'm sure...

"Jimmy, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me and I'm sorry if I've given you any reason to doubt yourself or believe what Jeff was saying and...," Lex clears his throat and shakes his head before continuing.

"Look, forget about him. I know he talked shit and scared you. And believe me when I say that Kelly and I tore him a new one. Metaphorically. His wife, however, I'm not so sure about...", he chuckles.

"Jimmy, the important thing right now is this and only this. Are you OK? Is there anything you need to talk about or clear up? It's important, Jimmy."

"Lex, I'm fine, honestly. The only thing I've been worried about since the wedding was you hating me for what I said. I couldn't bare the thought of you not talking to me ever again. You're the most beautiful person I've ever met, inside and out... when you hugged me by the church... God, I'd never felt so warm and safe in my entire life... and all Jeff's poison in my brain made me freak out and push you away when you were there for me and trying to help me. I'm so sorry, Lex, I... all I want is to be with you. It scares me shitless because I don't know anything about relationships... and even less about sex... but I want to be with you, even if I am... well, just me. I don't care that you've been with lots of people before, I just hope I ca-"

"Three."

I just stare at him. Confused. What is he...?

"I've been with three people, Jimmy. Four if you count blowjobs. That's all the sex I've had in my entire life. Two of my one night stands happen to have become close friends over time. It just happened that way. I don't care whether you're experienced or not. I just know that I've never felt this kind of pull towards another person before... and it's not just physical attraction". His eyes tell me that he is being honest, his words are genuine. "You just... feel right... I frankly don't know how to put it in words, Jimmy".

"Then don't", I whisper before closing the small space between us again and kissing him. He kisses me back and by God it's the best feeling ever. His soft lips, the tickling of his beard. I run my fingers through his hair before grabbing a handful to hold him in place whilst I straddle his lap. He gives my bottom lip a gentle nibble and I part my lips to let him in. God his tongue is the best thing ever... long, thick, powerful... the way it explores my mouth and slides across my own tongue is so fucking sexy. I can't help the needy moan that escapes and before I know, Lex pulls me closer against him and starts licking and sucking on the side of my neck.

"Fuck, Lexy, I... you feel so good, I... ngh", I moan loudly again and before I know what I am doing, my hips are rocking against Lex and I'm unbuttoning his shirt with a desperation I can't explain. I need to feel his skin under my fingers, to touch him, to...

"Oh my fuck, you've got to be kidding me!" I blurt out without thinking. I lick my lips hungrily as I let the pad of my thumb play with his pierced nipple. Then I let my fingers trail over the large dragon tattoo that spans from his left shoulder blade over to the front of his chest. And let's not ignore the fact that he has the abs of a Greek God... I can't take my eyes of him.

"Lex, you are so fucking hot, I can't deal", I groan.

He chuckles and looks into my eyes. "I am glad you approve, baby. It's all yours, yours alone."

But before I know what I'm doing, I'm climbing off his lap and backing away from him. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. "No, Lex, I mean I literally can't deal. You're just so perfect in every way, I... I have to go".

"Jimmy, wait, please don't go. We don't have to do anything at all until you're ready. I've said it before. You call the shots; you set the pace. I don't care what we do or when".

"Because you don't care about sex? Because you don't do relationships in any way, shape or form?"

"No Jimmy, it's because I honestly don't care what we do or don't do... as long as I'm with you, nothing else matters."

I smile at him... God, that man is everything and more.

"Lex, please don't take this the wrong way... I know I'm making it a habit of running off and being all awkward and shit but I need to process stuff... on my own. It's how I work and it has nothing to do with how I feel about you, because God, you are perfect and I want nothing more than to be with you. Just give me time... I'm sorry."

I walk back over to him and give him a small peck on the lips before leaving his apartment. Just before I close the door behind me, I hear him whisper.

"Anything you want, baby. Anything you want..."