"DADDY DADDY DADDY WAKE UP!!!" I opened my eyes to reveal Jay sitting on his knees, shaking me awake.

"Hi princess..." I groaned. "What's wrong?"

"Daddy, ROAD TRIP!!!" He whined. Fuck I forgot. Thank god we packed last night.

"Alright princess I'm up." I rolled out of bed, glancing at Jay. Still wearing my large white t-shirt.

"Gets dressed daddy!!!" Jay whined, pointing towards the closet.

"Alright, alright!" I put my hands up in defense, laughing.

I walked in my closet, grabbing my tight black v-line t-shirt. Still wearing my grey joggers. I slipped on my black vans and walked out of the closet(hehe).

"Come here princess." I smiled, holding out my hand. He happily got off the bed and walk towards me, pulling at the bottom edge of my shirt he was wearing.

"What do you want to wear? Remember, it has to be comfortable for the long car ride." I look down towards him, thinking.

"Daddy's clothes!" He chuckled.

"Daddy's clothes it is." I smiled, walking with him to the closet.

I grabbed a pair of my grey sweats and turned towards him. "Alright, help daddy out." He smiled as I got on my knees.

I rolled the sweatpant legs as he lifted his leg slightly to put his leg through. I did the same with the other leg, and pulled up the sweatpants. Tying them tight enough so they didn't fall. I pulled down the shirt, and he looked absolutely adorable engulfed in my clothes.

I grabbed his hand and walked towards his overnight bag. Kneeling down I pulled out his white slip on shoes. Helping him put them on his feet.

"Thank you daddy!" Jay smiled, hugging me while I was still on my knees.

"You're welcome princess. Now come on. We have to go meet the others."

I stood up, grabbing Jays hand. I picked up my bag, and Jay walked with his. And we were out the door.

XXX

"Hey guys! You ready?!" Lily asked excitedly as I put mine and Jay's bags in the back of Abby's car.

"I sure as hell am!" I smiled closing the trunk.

"DADDY SAID A BAD WORD!" Jay pulled on my hand, pouting. I just smiled. He's too adorable to be mad at.

Abby raised her eyebrow at me, and Daniel just looked proud. "Got him out of his shell I assume?" Daniel smiled, holding Carly's hand.

"Yeah, we talked about it. Things are going slow, but I'm happy he's okay with me seeing this side of him more often." I smiled holding Jay's hand as he pulled on the bottom of his shirt.

Jay yawned and leaned against me. "Tired princess?" He gently nodded his head, his eyes slowly drifting closed.

"Daddy up?" He gently put out his arms, and I swiftly picked him up, setting him on my hip.

"Let's hit the road. We might be able to stop somewhere around lunch time if we go now." Everyone nodded their head in agreement.

Abby got in the drivers seat, lily sitting passenger. I got Jay in on the third row, I sat close. Carly and Daniel sat in front of us in the second row. Carly sat in the middle so she could lay down on Daniel. The two seats where Jay and I were sitting allowed Jay to lay half in my lap, half on the seat. I laid the seat down slightly, letting Jay lean most of his weight on me, already passed out.

Abby turned on her aux cord playlist filled with old rock music.

Running my fingers through Jays soft hair, hearing his soft snores through the music. His steady heartbeat beating through my shirt where he laid.

I looked outside the car window to see the sun rising. Colors of orange, yellow, and purple dancing in the sky. The bright yellow sun peaking over the hills as we drove.

It pays sometimes to be up early in the morning.

I may not be a morning person, but as long as Jay's there by my side, I don't mind so much.

I smiled as I leaned my head back on the headrest. Holding Jay close to me as he slept peacefully. Slowly drifting back to sleep.

XXX

"Hey, wake up..." I opened my eyes to Daniel shaking me. Carly shaking Jay in my lap.

"Where are we?" I rubbed my eyes.

"A small town outside of Tennessee. Lunch time dude." He patted my shoulder, getting out of the car. Jay sat up rubbing his eyes.

I check my phone and it has been roughly 7 hours since we left at 5 this morning. It was already noon and I was starving.

I grabbed Jays hand and got out of the car with him. He rubbed his eyes, but never said a word. I couldn't figure out if he was in his little space or not. But it seemed like he was.

"You ready to eat pumpkin?" He nodded his head, yawning.

"I's sleepy daddy..." I smiled, rubbing circles with my thumb on his hand.

"We can go eat, then you can go right back to sleep, alright princess?" He nodded his head, clinging close to me as we walked into a gas station combined with a subway.

We all walked up to the subway counter, everyone ordering first.

"What do you want pumpkin?" I smiled as he looked at the floor. He shrugged his shoulders. "You want me to order for you?" He nodded his head, still looking at the floor.

"Hi, what can I get started for you?" A perky blond haired girl behind the counter got on a new pair of gloves, glancing back and forth from me to Jay.

"Two 6 inch BLTs please." I continued my order, Jay cling to me, not saying a word.

"Will that be all?"

"Yes." I started to pull out my card to pay.

"'Ay! No. I'm paying. Put that back!" Abby smacked my hand, putting her card in the thing.

I rolled my eyes, holding Jay close. He hasn't said much and frankly it's scaring me. He's clinging to my waist, shaking slightly. He's acting strange, but I don't want to push it.

I grabbed our sandwiches at grabbed a table for all of us. I sat next to Jay, who still refused to let go of my hand.

"Are you alright princess?" I looked at him while he looked at his lap, not moving. His hand trembling in mine.

He let go of my hand, quickly running towards the bathroom area. I ran after him, leaving everyone at the table, confused.

I ran into the bathroom, finding Jay on the bathroom floor next to the toilet, dry heaving. I quickly sat down next to him, rubbing circles on his back as he gripped the toilet seat.

He started to cry as he looked into the bowl. Not saying a word.

"What's wrong princess..." frankly I was worried, but still clueless. I didn't want to pry, but I needed to make sure he was okay.

"I'm sorry..." He cried, the tears slipping from his eyes.

"Why are you sorry? You have nothing to be sorry for." My face fell as he looked at me, his eyes full of tears and regret.

"I broke a few rules... I have every right to be apologizing... you're going to be so disappointed..." he looked away from me, the tears falling faster.

"I can never be disappointed in you. Please tell me what wrong princess... please..." I pulled his face towards me, making him look at me. He quickly buried his face into my chest, hugging me tightly. I rubbed circles on his back, leaning my chin on his head.

"I didn't tell you something I should have..." he gathered a few breaths before continuing. "I thought I was getting better... b-but I'm not... it keeps coming back..." I grew confused at his cryptic words. But let him continue.

"I... I used to be anorexic... I had such bad depression at one point that I just stopped eating. It's not that I hated my body, but I hated myself. I felt like I didn't deserve to eat because I felt like I disappointed everyone. I'd eat every once in a while, but it just made me feel gross... every time I had to eat, it just gave me anxiety, knowing I'd be eating when I didn't deserve it. I only ate with you so I didn't disappoint you...." He cried into my shoulder.

It hurt. It hurt a lot. Knowing he held this to himself. Held himself to this unrealistic standard that he had to please everyone. He thought I'd be disappointed to know this, but it just made me sad. Sad knowing that he had to go through this, feeling like he was alone.

I held him tighter, feeling like he'd slip away if I let him go.

"I'm so proud of you... I'm proud that you were able to tell me something like this princess... you're strong... stronger than I ever thought possible." He continued to cry into my shoulder, gripping my shirt.

I grabbed a hold of him, standing up and placing him on my hip. "Let's get you to the car..." I kissed his temple as he cried silently into my shoulder.

I walked with him out of the bathroom, heading towards the doors and to the car.

"Is Jay alright?" Abby called out from the table, staring up slightly in her seat.

"He's fine... we'll be in the car." She slowly sat back down in her seat, still looking worried.

We walked out the door and into our spots in the car. I sat him on my lap, letting him straddle me. I moved my hands along the side of his small waist. Feeling up and down, trying to comfort him as he cried into my neck, gripping my shirt.

My hands reached his ribs, and I felt them stick out. Feeling each individual rib. I put my hands under his shirt, grazing the skin over his ribs. He slowly stopped crying as I ran each finger over his ribs.

"I'm sorry Trevor... I-I know I have to take care of myself... but it's hard... it's hard to want to take care of myself when all I care about is keeping others happy, and not myself..." I leaned my head into his neck, letting my hands run up and down his ribs.

He leaned into my neck, folding his arms around my neck. I placed light kisses along his neck, still feeling a few tears fall from his face to my neck.

"You'll always be beautiful to me... inside and out. No matter what." I placed kisses up along his neck and collarbone.

"Y-you're not mad...?" He questioned. Whispering into my shoulder.

"How could I ever be mad at you..." I heard a half-hearted chuckle escape from his soft lips.

We sat like this. Holding each other.

His breathing evened out, heart rate slowing, until he was back to sleep. Wearing himself out. I rubbed my hand up along his back, sitting like this for just a bit longer.

But I sadly placed him back in his seat, buckling him up. Letting his head laying my lap as I ran my fingers through his hair.

I heard a light knock on the car window, looking over to see a worried Abby, and the others, just as worried. I nodded my head, letting them know it was okay to get back on the road.

"Is he alright?" Daniel asked with furrowed brows.

"Yeah... everything will be fine." I ran my fingers through his hair, moving it out of his face. His freckles making his face look more innocent and peaceful as his soft hair draped over his eyes.

Abby started back up the car, and we were back on the road for another 6-7 hours to my home town.

XXX

I couldn't sleep.

So I stared out the window of the car as towns and highways flew by.

I kept thinking about what Jay said. I wanted to know how to help. I knew about the depression part. But the eating disorder? I didn't even know where to start.

The horrible thing about some of the happiest people you'll meet, most of them are just really good about how to hide their true feelings. And I hate how easily I was fooled by his smile, thinking he was okay. Thinking he was always happy.

It was close to eight when we pulled towards the edge of my home town.

"Welcome to Galena Illinois everyone..." I smiled out the window. Looking around at the filled shopping district. I missed this place...

(Actual photo of the shopping district in Galena Illinois. The small town being known for its well preserved 19th century styled buildings.)

Everyone was well focused on the towns shopping district, while I was excited to get to the edge of town where our hotel was.

"So where did you book us?" Daniel faced back towards me.

"You'll find out. You won't be disappointed though." I smiled. Knowing that the money I spent was well worth it in the end. The hotel alone was stunning, and I know they'd enjoy it. I knew that saving for a trip like this would be worth it.

After a bit of driving through the shopping district, and the large amounts of people, we made it to our hotel.

"This can't be it..." Abby questioned. Looking at the building in awe.

"Nope. This is it. This is the Goldmoor Inn."

(Goldmoor Inn (Galena, IL))

"Holy shit dude..." Daniel looked out the window in awe. Carly, Lily, and Jay all asleep, and missing it.

All of us woke them up, letting them take in the building with their tired eyes.

Abby parked, letting us get out to get our bags. I looked down at Jay. His eyes still red and puffy from earlier. I put my hand on his face. He leaned into my hand, closing his eyes, taking a deep breath.

I smiled as he looked up at me with those big brown eyes. "Let's get going beautiful." He smiled weakly.

I grabbed his hand, getting out of the car with him. Grabbing our bags before heading inside the large building.

"Checking in?" A small lady asked, smiling. Her dark brown hair cascading down her chest. Her prominent brown eyes smiling as she did.

"Yes, rooms for Trevor Bryant." She typed on the computer, clicking a few things before looking back up at me, smiling.

"Three rooms for three nights?"I nodded my head. She turned around, grabbing a few key cards out of the back cabinet.

"Here are your room keys. Enjoy your stay!" She smiled brightly. I nodded my head before heading to the elevator.

Jay gripped my hand tighter, holding me closer to him. He looked down at the floor as he walked next to me and the others.

We all rode in the elevator to the second floor, waiting silently as the elevator played its shitty elevator music.

The elevator door opened, and we all got out, looking for our rooms. Luckily they were next to each other.

"This is ours, we are going to get set up." Abby smiled, Lily silently at her side, smiling with her.

"Here we are. We'll see you guys tomorrow." Daniel smiled as Carly giggled. Both of them walking into their room.

I found ours, Jay silently at my side.

I opened the door, and it was just as I remembered. Everything still the same. The lay out, the furniture, everything.

I set our bags by the entryway, holding Jay in front of me. He still continued to look at the floor. Holding onto the hem of his shirt.

"I know what you said earlier... but I still need you to eat something love... okay? Start small. Water and something else you choose. Maybe a pop tart? Granola? Something." I kissed the top of his head as he sighed.

"Alright..." he wrapped his arms around me, digging his face into my chest.

"What's wrong?" I ran my hand through his hair.

"I just don't want you to look at me differently..." he sighed.

"I will never see you as anything other than my baby boy, my princess... but there are going to be some changes regarding you health... I just want to take care of you." I kissed the top of his head. Laying his head under my chin.

"I know..." he closed his eyes, leaning against me.

We stayed like this for a few before I pulled back, holding him at arms length.

"Now, go drink some water and grab something small, alright?" He smiled weakly, nodding his head.

"Yes sir..." I kissed his forehead, before ushering him to the kitchen.

He grabbed a water bottle from the fridge, then kneeled in front of our small bag filled with snacks for the car ride. He grabbed a strawberry pop tart, and slowly started eating it. Nibbling at the edges before digging into the filled center.

"Good boy... I'm so proud of you..." I grabbed his hips as he stood up, still nibbling on the pop tart. I kissed the top of his head, pulling him closer to my chest.

"Want to watch some Netflix?" I cooed in his ear.

"If you mean Netflix and chill, then hell yeah." He winked.

"Oh you kinky fucker." I smiled, pecking his lips.

"Takes one to know one." He smiled against my lips.

I slowly walked with him to the couch, pulling him onto my lap as we sat down. I worked the TV to Netflix, cradling Jay in my lap as he slowly ate his pop tart.

His small body eased into mine, melting into me. He gladly laid against me as Grown ups played in front of us.

XXX

😚