"Mine." Trevor whispered as his lips pulled away from mine.

I bit my lip and refrained from looking directly into his eyes. Because I knew they'd make me weak all over again.

He made me forget, even for a moment. I forgot the pain I was going through. I forgot what was happening around me. I needed that.

"What's wrong...?" Trevor whispered as our noses and foreheads pressed together.

"I-" tears welled in my eyes as I continued to look down. "Everything?" I laughed while starting to cry.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm sorry I acted like that, I don't know what came over me.... I just... I shouldn't have done that because not only was I hurting you for no valid reason, Daniel's dead, everyone's going through a hard time, but my butt still thought that acting that way was in any way okay." I rambled.

"Slow down there. You had every reason to be upset. Your feelings are valid. Along with that, don't worry about everything else. We all take mourning in a different way." I cried softly. Just let the tears fall, but still feeling numb.

"Wipe those tears baby boy... you're too gorgeous to be crying." I chuckled a bit. "What?" He chuckled back.

"You are definitely singing a different tune when I'm crying in pain in the bedroom." Trevor rolled his eyes at me.

"Ha ha." He chuckled a bit before kissing my forehead. "Are we okay now?" I nodded. "Want me to hold your hand?" I nodded with a smile.

Our fingers intertwined. Lacing together.

I leaned my head against his shoulder while we walked into the building.

*baby crying*

We walked into Carly's room as Cameron cried.

"I see you two made up?" Carly raised an eyebrow as she smirked. A sad look to her face as she tried to smile.

"Yeah." I smiled roughly.

Carly nodded as she sat up in the hospital bed with Cameron. "He looks just like Daniel..." Trevor said.

Carly clearly had a hard time holding herself together. "He sure does...." she attended to smile.

"I wanna go home..." Carly said with a sad look on her face as she tried to hold a blank expression.

"You'll get to leave soon. The doctors are going to release you as soon as they check on you." Trevor said in a cool tone.

Carly just nodded as she looked at Cameron. Holding him her arms.

Time seemed to stand still as the clock ticked by. Cameron's cries turned into soft noises. The sad atmosphere was tense. Almost suffocating.

We needed to get out of here.

Hours passed and we finally got to take Carly home. The baby was quiet as he slept next to Carly in his car seat.

Carly didn't take her eyes off of him.

Jaylynn sat silent in the passenger while I drove.

The drive was long and silent as we made our way to the hotel. The atmosphere was suffocating.

No radio because Carly didn't want to wake the baby. Just the ac slightly running. Cars passed by, leaving the wooshing sound as the passed.

I looked in the rear view mirror to see Carly's head against the car seat, sound asleep. I smiled as I looked forward.

I hated this long silence. It left me in my thoughts.

Daniel.

That's all I could think about at the moment. I can't even cry or feel anything. It doesn't feel real.... it feels like one big prank and he'll be back tonight. All one big prank right?

"What are you thinking about baby..." Jay put his hand on my knee while I drove. I took one hand off the wheel and held his small hand in mine.

His hands were cold, soft....

"Nothing... just lost in thought." I said while not letting my eyes leave the road. Avoiding all eye contact.

"Daniel?" I sighed slightly as he just seemed to read my mind.

"Yeah..."

We both fell silent, not knowing what to say. We both knew what would happen if we started talking about it now. And neither of us wanted to have that conversation while I was driving.

But both of us weren't ready to make it reality either. At least I didn't want to make it real... because if I talked about it, then I know it would be real. And I'm not ready for that wake up call.

Some time passed. Nothing was easier. Nothing was clear. We were all struggling. Carly especially.

Carly had been trying for months to find a job to support herself after she moved. She couldn't afford it. She sadly had to also sell all the animals on the farm.

She has been living with Abby and lily for about 3 months now. She's really struggling to take care of herself and Cameron, but I can tell she's trying her hardest.

Dealing with Daniels death hasn't been easy of any of us. He may have seemed like a side character in a shitty story, but to us... he was our main character. The underrated piece of the puzzle to our group. He was what held us together and we didn't even realize it.

It's October. It's been five months now. The weathers getting colder, and life's not getting easier.

I turned 20 finally. That was in July though... we didn't really pay attention to my birthday since things were still hard. Trevor still got me something though, but he didn't have to. He got me this cute pink dress with a poofy skirt, and it just makes my heart happy every time I wear it.

Other than our lives slowly falling apart, things have been okay. Trevor and I are slowly getting back to where we were. And you can call that good. We haven't been attached at the hip anymore, because we don't need to be. We see each other everyday, but we usually keep to ourselves and just chill together. And I'm perfectly happy with that.

Even though things are still hard, I know it'll get better. No matter how hard it may be now.

"Please stop crying baby..."

Cameron has been crying nonstop for 30 minutes and I'm exhausted.

I can't ever calm him down. He doesn't want me. He wants.... he wants what I want to.

"Here, let me take him." Abby reached for Cameron and held him in her arms. Soon he started to calm down.

"Thank you... again."

"No problem. I love the little guy. I may not like children much but, he's and exception." She smiled down at Cameron.

I sat still on the couch of her apartment and held my head down. I felt tears in my eyes as I tried to hold them back.

"What's wrong?" Abby asked softly as she sat down next to me with Cameron in her arms

"My own child doesn't want me Abby... he hates me." A tear fell to the floor as I tried to hold myself together.

"He doesn't hate you..."

"How do you know?! He cry's every time I hold him! He doesn't want me! He wants Daniel!-" I stopped myself.

Tears fell down my face as I thought of him. Him holding Cameron in his arms. "I miss him so much Abby..."

She continued to hold Cameron in one arm and held me close to her chest with the other.

"I know... I know..." I wrapped my arms around her and sobbed into her shirt.

It's been five months, but it's felt like years without him. I miss him so damn much and he was taken from me so fast.

Abby kissed the top of my head then leaned her head against my neck.

I heard small whimpers come from Cameron, and when I looked at him, he didn't look fussy, but he looked sad.

I sat up straight and grabbed Cameron from Abby. I held him to my shoulder, and held him close.

His tiny baby arms laid flat against my chest. Not a peep from him. He was quiet. For the first time in a while he was quiet while I held him.

"I told you he doesn't hate you." Abby smiled at me. "You just needed to understand each other." I rolled my eyes and smiled, wiping away a few tears from my face.

"Totally. Like the 5 month old understands that."

She smirked at me and looked me up and down slowly.

"What?" I chuckled.

"Nothin'..." she smirked.

I stared at her for a while. Just looking into her eyes. He brown eyes glistened like honey in the light.

I broke eye contact for a split second and just stared at the floor.

"I-I'm going to put Cameron down for his nap...."

I got up and left the room swiftly without stumbling.

I went into the guest bedroom where mine and Cameron's beds were and set him in his crib.

I laid a few blankets over him and gave him a small yellow duck. It was raggedy and old. It was Daniels first toy. I found it while packing and moving. And I'm glad I did.

I leaned against the crib which my full weight on my hands.

I took a few deep breaths and just closed my eyes for a few. Listening to nothing. Footsteps.

I didn't look behind me.

I felt hands on my waist. I look up, but not behind me.

"Are you okay?" I nodded my head. "Look at me."

I took a deep breath before turning around.

"I'll ask once more. Are you okay." She said as less of a question and more of a demand. It made my knees weak. Feeling the dominating tone again. It felt comfortable. Not even sexual dominance, but being able to take control of a situation with just a different tone.

"I'm fine. Just thinking."

"Mmm." She just let out a small humming noise as if she didn't believe me.

"Why the 'mmm'?" I asked.

"I don't believe you missy. But I won't push you to say anything if you don't want to." She pulled me closer by my waist.

I wrapped my arms around her and dug my face into her chest. Hearing her pounding heart. It was racing. Is she nervous?

"Why is your heart racing?" I asked quietly, almost so she didn't hear me. "I'm nervous." She said blatantly.

"Why are you nervous?" I asked as I looked up at her.

"I don't know what your boundaries are... I don't want to make you uncomfortable... I know I just grabbed your waist without thinking about it, I just realized that I probably shouldn't have done that... I'm sorry." She seemed disappointed in herself.

"Don't be sorry... you didn't know." She swallows a lump in her throat. She didn't look at me, just at the floor. "And I don't mind...." I added hoping to make her feel less guilty.

She looked up at me with confused eyes.

I pulled her into a deep hug and wrapped her in my embrace.

Soon she moved her hands from my waist, moving them around my neck, and holding my head close to her chest. Holding herself closer to me.

"Thank you." She said softly. "What for?"

"Just... for being you I guess." I smiled into her chest as I slowly pulled away.

I looked into her eyes and held her glance. Time felt frozen.

I leaned in closer to her, she did the same.

She rested her hands on the back of my neck and head, holding me in place as she kissed me gently. I held onto the back of her shirt and gripped it hard.

The kiss slowly got deeper... deeper... she gently grabbed my hair to hold me in place. I moaned slightly as my hips bucked against her leg slightly.

She stopped.

Breathlessly, "why'd you-"

"I-I shouldn't have done that... I-.... I need to go... I'm sorry." She released me from her hold, walking swiftly out of my temporary room.

I heard her keys jingle slightly, then the front door open, and close.

Gone.

XXX