"Love is a condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own." – Robert A. Heinlein

The white mare was stomping her hooves in the ground as I tied a rope halter into her face. She seemed excited since I was about to bring her outside the stable. This horse was peculiar to me because she didn't like to stay in a single place for a long time much less in a place where there were only three horses including her, so it was a pretty lonely place if I say so myself.

"Eager are we?" I muttered to her as I caressed her muzzle and head.

This was my first day as a stable boy here in the Ashworth Family estate. I didn't have problem against this job because I liked taking care of horses since they were so energetic and a friendly mammal, only if you're not hostile to them, and I didn't hesitate to accept their job offer for I was also in need of money.

I was just your ordinary young man on the age of twenty who belonged to life of commonalty. To earn hard labored money had been my everyday battle but in spite of the hardships of my life, I was content and happy. I viewed life in a positive perspective and I find happiness in the simplest things such as good food, beautiful nature and affection from people I loved. Well, I lost my parents when I was young so that was maybe part of the reason why I was such an optimistic kind of person.

I pulled away from my thoughts when I felt the horse snuggled her face into my neck. A smile found its way into my lips and I simply stifled a chuckle.

"I like you too," I replied to her affection when the entrance wooden door creaked open.

"The mistress is here with Sir Scarfone," a maid imparted to me and I felt my heart leaped from its place upon the mentioned of his name.

"I'll be there, just give me a minute," I replied and she disappeared quietly from the door. I tightened the girth on the horse's barrel and I checked the saddle one last time for safety measures before stroking the mare's muzzle again.

"I want you to meet the love of my life," I said and she nodded with a neigh as I gently pulled the rope before leading her out of the stable. Sir Marcus had told me a while ago that his daughter will be spending time with her fiancé and that he would like it to be special so he asked me to prepare a horse for the two since they will be doing a horse-riding on a near forest.

Although, thinking about it, it brought this dull ache into my heart but I dismissed it for aught I knew well that my love was for him was wrong in the very beginning. Why, if anyone ask? Because I was in love with an engaged man and it was wrong no matter how I see it but was loving someone with your whole heart truly wrong? I wondered.

I fell in love in a wrong place and a wrong time, and I couldn't think any more worse than that. I was indeed an unfortunate man.

Once I stepped outside the stable, I saw them already in wait. Amelia was dress in one of her beautiful gown with a bustle on her long skirt and a bergère hat on her head. Sometimes I could never understand why they tend to dress so fashionable when they were only going for a horse-riding. Women are truly mysterious beings.

She hid a giggle under her folding silk fan but failed to conceal a blush on her cheeks as she flirted with her man. The mere sight of her happiness managed to break my heart piece by piece.

She was a daughter of a Marquess and she was the bride-to-be of the man I loved, and most of all she was a woman.

I turned my attention on the gentleman standing beside her. He was the most terribly handsome man in this world and his ocean blue eyes were the ones that had imprisoned me at first sight. Those beautiful pools that reflected everything it sees was what captured my heart and will forever held me captive. I was hopelessly in love with him and I was falling far too deep.

The dull ache in my heart disappeared when I saw him looked at me straight in the eyes. Just a single glance from him was enough to make me the happiest man alive. Love can be cruel at times because it can take one's own breath away, it can make one lose his reason and for the most part, it can steal one's own heart. Indeed love was truly a sweet torment.

"I'm pleased to see a beautiful woman like you today, my Lady." I complimented her as I took her gloved hand in mine before planting a kiss on the back as a sign of greeting to a woman.

"And I am pleased too to see you doing splendid on your work. Father would be very pleased to see his horses doing well," she replied with a smile before turning to her beloved, "Shall we go, Dante?"

She gestured her head towards the horses and Dante nodded before putting a tight smile in his lips, "Of course, I'm raring to go spend time with you," he replied, half-heartedly pleased. He had this strangeness of pretending and hiding his emotions. He was so great at it that sometimes even I couldn't see right through his disguise. It made it all the more difficult because I wouldn't know how he feels about me other than that one thing.

He now turned to me, "Are our horses ready, Mr. Hartwell?"

I almost winced at the name because whenever he called me like that, it made it known to me that there was this invisible boundary growing in between us.

"As ready as you are, young Sir." I simply smiled.

I held the mare steady as Dante climbed on its back although the horse made a little protest at first like she was not willing to have anyone on her back but I caressed her muzzle again before whispering words only the two of us could hear.

"Be careful of him, he is precious to me," and with that the horse calmed down and eased on Dante's presence.

"Mind if I know what you said to calm her down?" Dante asked with a curious brow.

"Sorry. It's a little secret just between me and her," I teased and he shook his head, amused.

He seemed like he wanted to know about it but he insisted no more before turning his attention to Amelia to whom he offered his hand and I felt something ripped the wall of my heart when I saw her placing hers in his. He hauled his fiancé up and let her sit in front of him sideway. To be honest, just seeing them so perfect together had the reality slapped onto my face, the reality that I'll never have him as mine.

I was about to walk away when I heard Amelia called to me, "Will you ride with us, Mr. Hartwell?" she asked.

As a gentleman, I certainly find it hard to refuse a lady's plea moreover with such a solicit look in her eyes. I really didn't want to go along with them knowing that I'll bear the pain of seeing them together. Just imagining it had undoubtedly stabbed my fragile heart a thousand times.

"I would love to but I have more important matters to attend to so I will kindly refuse," I tried to lie, barely successful of it.

"No can do, Mr. Hartwell. I'm afraid we can't maintain the horse well if something goes wrong and it just doesn't feel right without you there. It's better to be prepared than not," she responded, persuading me more which made it harder to think of an excuse.

"Is it kind of impolite of me to come along on your date?" nevertheless I still tried although I knew it would be a futile attempt anyway since Amelia was the type that doesn't take no for an answer.

"You're so generous, Mr. Hartwell, but I'm afraid to say I am not induced. Now will you do the honor to accompany me and my fiancé?" she insisted as she embraced her man right in front of me. I gave up on trying to argue with her so I simply nodded in defeat. Pulling out an auburn stallion from the stable, I climbed on its back and departed into the woods along with them.

***

"It's beautiful," Amelia proclaimed when as we reached a certain place.

It was a clearing deep in the forest. I was lost in the beauty of nature when I saw the splendid plunge waterfall in front of me. It was truly a wonder to see. The scent of fresh water was invading my senses. I waited no more in climbing down from the horse and ambling towards the river where I descended my hands on the cold and clear water. The chilling sensation I felt subsided the warmness of my hands but it didn't held back my urge to swim in and relish the pleasing sheer cold all over my body.

"I want us to wed here, Dante," I heard her say and it killed my moment of happiness.

I sighed and went back on my feet when Amelia, who was still sitting in front of Dante, called to me. She made a gesture that she wanted me to help her climb down from the horse so I simply said nothing and walked towards them with my welcoming hands offered for her.

"Such a gentleman, Mr. Hartwell," she praised me but deep inside, I was a little sad of her attitude. She always wanted everyone to attend to her every wish which made her a simple spoiled princess.

After assisting her back to her feet, I turned to help the man whom made my heart this painfully defenseless. My hand reached to him and I could feel my heart race a mile when he grabbed a hold of me. There it was, the same tingles I felt when I first met him in the gallery display. He gripped my hand tight as he stoop down the mare and he looked at me for a long while with his hand still holding mine, as if he never wanted to let go and I could hear my heart begging him not to.

It was such a painful plea.

"Thank you," he let go of my hand and smiled. His smile was somewhat contagious because it never fail to make me smile too, or maybe it was because I was in love with him. It was just a simplest thing but it still affected me in every way.

"You're welcome," I replied before walking away from him.

As much as I wanted to be near to him, I couldn't betray a woman's heart.

I felt something nestled itself into my side and I chuckled at the friendly mare seeking for my attention behind me. "You're thirsty are you?" I muttered, fascinated of her as I ruffleed her mane. I liked her because not only was she unique with her body in a color white milk but also because of her odd fondness for me.

"Should I name you Lily?" I mocked a name as referral to her color but surprisingly, she liked it as she replied with happy neigh. Laughter slipped from my lips as I began to lead her to the streaming river. She leaned her head down and I squatted beside her so I could support her chin as she took her time drinking fresh water.

"You're a charming horse you know," I praised her and somehow it felt funny talking to an animal but I didn't mind talking to her all day long because I had this odd fondness for her too.

Soon, she was done and I took it as a cue to stand up before deciding to go back to the others but when I returned, I was devastated at the scene I saw, tearing my heart into millions of pieces. There, was Amelia and the one holding her in an embrace was the man I loved, Dante.

He had his arms wrapped around her as Amelia buried her lips on my beloved's chin and holding onto him as if he was her lifeline. Their bodies connected to one another in a perfect embrace and it broke me apart.

Tears fought to escape me and my muscles went numb at the immense pain building inside my chest, my knees going weak. I just wanted nothing but to break down and cry because the scene only made the reality cruel for me now that I knew he will never belong to me.

She put a good distance between their lips and I heard her whispered, "Do you love me?"

"I know you love me, Dante. But you never once said it to me, well do you?" she went on and I found myself silently praying to the gods or whatever deities that existed, I prayed and I begged to them to not make him say those words, those three beautiful words that I dreamed to hear him say it to me and not say it to her.

Dante looked reluctant at first and it brought a little ember of hope in my heart but in the end, it faded nonetheless. "I love you, Amelia," her face brightened at that.

"And I love you too, Dante," and with that said, she closed the distance them and pressed her lips into his in a kiss.

My world collapsed on that very moment and the gravity felt so heavy that it brought my heart to the ground in an instant. My chest tightened so much I was almost suffocating. I wrapped my arms around me, somewhat protecting myself from anything that hurt me but it was futile anyway, It was really unbearable to see the one you love in the arms of someone else.

I tried my very best to be strong but it still overwhelmed me that I couldn't stop myself from wishing that I didn't fell in love with him in the first place. I wanted to shout. I wanted to scream and I wanted to ask why him of all people.

As I remained speechlessly and helplessly watching them, a nudge came from behind me and I glanced past my shoulder to see the white mare pressing her nose, as if telling me to turn around and look away. She continued to press her nose in attempt to comfort me. Did she perhaps understood my situation? This horse was truly peculiar.

After pressing her nose non-stop, I decided to turn around and let her comfort me until I was smiling again.

"You're so strange, you know," I said as I finally regained composure.

"But don't be mad at him okay?" I asked of her while looking deep into her big round eyes.

"He did nothing wrong," I added with a sad smile.

"He really did nothing wrong."

"I'm surprise to see you attached to her, Mr. Hartwell," I heard Amelia seeking for my attention and I turned to her, seeing an amused smile in her face.

"I think she is the one who is attached to me. Anyway it's already pretty late, my Lady. Your father will be worried," I replied looking at the dimming clouds above us. It was nearing dusk.

"You're right. I suppose we should return as soon as possible," however when she went closer to the mare, the horse gave her a furious reaction before taking a few step away from her. The mare was so hostile of her all of a sudden.

"Oh my!" Amelia lurched away from the mare, frightened of her change of behavior.

"I'll walked for the meantime to calm her down so please use the stallion instead," I suggested as I pulled the mare close to me to soothe her anger.

"You're staying? It's dangerous to remain alone here in the woods, it's getting dark," Dante pointed out, dismissing his scared fiancée and choosing to be worried of me which I found sincere of him. It completely brought butterflies in my stomach. I smiled genuinely at him, "No don't be. I can take care of myself and besides mistress is in need of a company on her way back," I reassured him while walking off with the mare.

"Be careful on your journey," I bid them farewell before disappearing into the woods.

***

The sun was already setting and the surroundings were being swallowing by the shadows. The remaining light was bending away, making it hard to go further in the woods but it didn't lasted when I reached another clearing in the forest.

It was a vast land full of meadows and the tranquilness of the night was blowing in a gust of wind, singing a silence of serenity everywhere. Lily seemed to take a liking to this place because I already found her sitting down on top of the soft grass. I chuckled as I nestled both my legs in rest, the plants brushing smoothly against my pants. Hours drifted away in sweet placidity until I felt long familiar arms wrap around me in an embrace, an embrace I longed for to feel.

"I'm sorry," he whispered on the back of my ear.

I hummed softly before asking, "What are you sorry for?"

He tightened the hold in me and simply repeated, "I'm sorry,"

"No, you shouldn't be sorry, Dante. You did nothing wrong. I should be sorry instead of you since I am the one who is going between you and her. No matter how you see it, it is kind of unfair for your fiancée," I justified him as I carried the burden myself, reaching to hold his hands and I could feel his arms tightening more.

Then he suddenly let go of me before turning my face to him, "Why? Why are you so kind to me, Julian? I can't fathom it so tell me," he asked, confused and somewhat guilt-ridden.

I simply smiled at him and I held his warm hands in mine, "Come."

Standing up, I led him in the center of the meadows without further words, considering that it was better to show him than tell it to him in imperfect words. "Lay down with me," I asked of him.

Just the feeling of his presence alone near me was enough to make all the pain disappear in a heartbeat. That was what he does to me but he didn't know it and I was more willing to show it to him. The two of us lay down on the comfortable grass, side by side with our hands interlaced with one another. The boundless space of the night sky was what hailed our eyes with countless of diamond stars scattered across it. The bright blue moon was looking down on us and I could feel the cool wind blowing my bangs, making it dance away from my face.

"It's beautiful," I admired the starry night sky above us.

I turned my head to him and I was in awe upon seeing happiness in his face. He liked what he sees and that was all I needed to be happy too, his happiness was my happiness too. He turned his head to me and I felt the heavenly joy when I saw the beauty in his eyes, his blue eyes that reflected the things he sees and right now, it was reflecting the stars clear and making his eyes glittered in front of mine.

"You're beautiful too," I caressed his face with my fingers as I let myself be besotted on his starry eyes, "The reason is simple, Dante."

"I love you." I smiled as I held more onto his hand.

On the other hand, Dante remained silent in his place like he was not sure of what to say or maybe he was sure of it but he prefer not to say it to me for my own good which I only accepted wholeheartedly. I brought his hand to my lips as I planted a passionate kiss on it. "I am yours. I surrender myself completely to you, Dante."

He pulled his hand away and I didn't protest because his fingers were already under my chin and his lips already on mine. I could feel my heart slamming inside my chest in happiness because of it. My lips burned on his soft ones and it sent me to straight to cloud nine. He brushed his tongue on my lower lip, demanding for entry and I gladly let him in. The gentle intrusion of his tongue in my mouth felt so right and complete.

I felt his other fingers danced on my neck as he started to undo the buttons of my shirt.

I was absolutely aware of his only feelings for me and that one thing was none other than lust. But I accepted it without a second thought because I loved to him and I didn't mind offering myself to him whole. Likewise, I was falling far too deep for this man.

After unfastening all my shirt buttons, he brought me closer to his body and on that starry night, I had willingly submitted myself to his mercy.