《Learn to Love » Draco Malfoy x Reader》XVI
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"Tell me something about yourself," Draco piped up during our prefect patrol.
He'd been almost silent the whole night, not really engaging for anything other than small remarks like "I'll check this corridor" or "you go that way". I assumed he was having one of his episodes, so I didn't press for more information or try to engage him in conversation.
"What do you wanna know?"
"Anything."
"That doesn't really narrow it down," I dryly chuckled.
"Just talk about something. Things about you."
I racked my brain trying to think of something. I was so focused on trying to think of anything worthwhile that it didn't even process in my mind how unusual it was of him to make that request— command, more like. After a few moments of silence, I finally spoke the first words that came to mind.
"I miss home."
He turned his head to look at me. "Home? We just came back from the ball not long ago."
"Not that home," I corrected him softly. "I meant Italy. I haven't been there in so long."
"I almost forget you're not from Britain; you hardly even have an Italian accent. You can barely tell... it's like its own, unique articulation. It suits you, though."
"I almost forget it sometimes, too, hence why I want to go back."
"When was the last time you were there?"
That was a good question.. when was the last time? I ran a hand through my hair and tried to think back.
"A couple years ago, the summer before fifth year," I smiled, reminiscing. "I was only there for a week, though. I haven't spent any real time there since I was a child."
"Why don't you go back then?"
"All of my family is here now. Well, most of it anyway. I have grandparents and extended family there, but it's just different."
I couldn't exactly explain everything to him. Not here, anyway, and especially not now. It was hardly the proper place for a heart-to-heart. However, it was interesting to know that he was capable of having them since that night of the ball.
Since our little ballroom spat, he apologized profusely over and over again, to which I always assured him, "I already forgave you". Maybe it finally sunk in that I was being honest.
"I'm assuming the ball made you a bit homesick then?"
"You could say that. I'm sorry about all that, by the way. I probably owe you an apology after the hundred apologies you gave me," I muttered.
He scoffed lightly. There was no malice in it, just a somewhat playful grin. "No need to apologize."
"My family is pretty insane, though. You remember how you were swarmed by them the entire night."
"Your family can't be any worse than mine," he mused, almost chuckling softly, but not quite.
"Let's not test the waters tonight," I looked up at him who slightly nodded.
He paused for a moment before speaking again. The silence seemed loud. "Maybe someday soon you'll get to go back. To Italy, I mean. Why not after we finish school?"
"We".
I was fully aware of the great likelihood that he was referring to our graduating year, but the fact that he even used the word "we" made me uneasy. Draco was more tolerable to me and I was happy about that fact, but I still wasn't totally comfortable with the idea that there was a "we" between us. However, there was something... relieving about it. That he might be there with me if I ever decided to go home and visit.
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"Maybe," I murmured, not having considered the future all that much. I suppose it was worth a thought. "Tell me something about you now."
"I much prefer hearing about you."
"That's not how this works," I forced a laugh. "I told you something, now you tell me something in return."
"I don't remember making that deal," he quipped, the ends of his lips tugging up in a smirk.
I rolled my eyes. "I don't want to just talk about myself, Draco. That's not how a conversation works."
"Fine," he huffed, "I don't know if there's something you'd want to hear about me, though."
"Anything."
"That doesn't really narrow it down," he lightly mocked me from earlier, causing me to lightly laugh. He could be cheeky when he wanted to.
"Right," I breathed out. "Something about your family, maybe. I don't know them well."
He exhaled slowly, suddenly looking a little more somber. "That's probably a conversation for another time, another place."
It was like he read my mind; roaming around the corridors at night wasn't exactly the best place to discuss any deeper issues, especially when someone else could just so happen to eavesdrop and hear.
"Why not something about your friends then? Hobbies?"
"You sound like an orientation tour guide," he chuckled, his mood lifting again. "Want me to name three interesting facts about myself next?"
I joined him in letting out another laugh, the smile on my face growing in size larger than the last.
"That would assume you have three interesting things about you," I joked.
"Ouch," he chuckled, "I could mention how I'm fantastic at wizard's chess... but would be willing to let you win every now and then. You know, to be a gentleman."
"I think my eight game win streak of Senet would beg to differ. Seriously, though, what do you like to do?"
He remained silent for a minute. I was half expecting him to make some smug, boyish remark, but he looked like he was actually in thought about what to say.
"I don't know, really. I usually just spend most of my time alone."
"Doesn't your posse follow you around all of the time?"
"They get tiresome," he shrugged. "I much prefer my own company, most days. Reading, practicing with the snitch. I write a fair bit."
I looked at him quizzically. "You spend most of your time alone?"
"You sound so surprised."
"I suppose I am..." my voice trailed. "I don't know, I've been so used to seeing you tailed by Crabbe and Goyle, even Zabini or sometimes Theo."
"Theo and Blaise are better company; I outgrew the former. Still, they don't always... understand me, you could say. It's better to just stay with your own thoughts when that happens."
I was suddenly forced to consider the possibility that perhaps Draco did have some human decency. I hadn't necessarily espoused any sympathy for him, not that he would want it anyway, but it was interesting to hear that he was used to being alone. Perhaps the incident in my library of him playing Senet by his lonesome wasn't as unique as I presumed it was.
"What kinds of things do you think about?" I mused.
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"Your turn," he shook his head. "You essentially asked two questions and I let it slide. I get to ask you something now."
"Fine," I huffed. "At least I know what the next thing I'm asking you is."
"Cross that bridge when we get to it," he waved his hand dismissively. "I want to know what you think of Nott."
"Theo?" I cocked my head. "That's not really a question, though."
"You two are friends, are you not?"
"We are; I don't see why that's a matter of inquiry."
"Just... what do you think of him? It's not complicated."
"I mean, he's a great guy and I enjoy his company," I mused. "I still don't really know what you're asking, though."
"What is there to like about him?"
I looked at him, slightly offended that he basically just insulted his own friend.
"You could have a little more respect for him," I crossed my arms over my chest, naturally shrinking inward as I felt uncomfortable suddenly.
"No, you misunderstood me," he corrected, looking at me with softer eyes. "I meant what is it you like about him? What makes him so... charming?"
"I wouldn't exactly say Theo is 'charming', per se, but there are certain things I like about him... he's just a good friend, I suppose."
"That's it?" he inquired, looking perplexed. His eyebrows knitted together and wrinkle lines appeared on his forehead.
"What else is there to say? He's got a good sense of humor, he's a gentleman... most of the time, anyway," I dryly laughed. "Why do you ask?"
He cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair. "No reason."
I rolled my eyes. "Don't give me that, Draco, you can't just—"
"I said there's no reason, y/n. We were just making conversation, is that a crime?"
His voice wasn't louder or more domineering, but the inflection in tone of his voice suggested that he was frustrated, or at the very least, wanting the topic to end.
I never got to ask my question.
My suspicions were confirmed as he didn't make the effort to continue our discussion, and I certainly wasn't going to after his little outburst. We picked up our pace and made better time with the patrols once we weren't as occupied with talking. To my surprise, there weren't any students wandering around so it was easier than most nights.
Although we had been in silence for quite some time since he cut off our conversation, he eventually pulled me aside to the corner of an empty corridor that I couldn't quite make out due to how dark it was. His fingers were cold around my arm for the fleeting moment he grabbed me, and I could feel the lingering frostiness of his fingers as soon as he removed them.
The light provided by a nearby lantern was really the only way I could see him. His features looked softer in the dim lighting, less threatening and more humanizing. His pupils were larger, lessening the piercing effects of his icy gray irises. They bore into mine as his mouth slightly parted, the pale color of his thin lips softening the sneer that had been there a moment ago.
"I wanted to say I... I'm sorry for the way I've been treating you," he murmured, barely audible.
His voice was a hushed whisper, his hot breath fanning my face. Only then did I realize how close we actually were, with my back pressed against the cold stones of the wall and his body proximity so close that I could feel his heat radiating onto me. We weren't quite pressed up against each other, but if one of us moved the slightest bit more, we would be.
I was so dumbfounded that all I could choke out was a meek, "What do you mean?"
"You... don't deserve my short temper. I forget that I can't treat you the same as everyone else. I want to be more like him... like Theo. Someone who's easy to be around. Someone you'd like to be around."
"Draco..." I breathed out, noticing him shift his weight at the sound of his name, "don't bring that up. Not now... you said yourself this isn't the time for that."
As much as I'm sure we both were aware of the necessity for us to have a genuine conversation about it, it couldn't be here. Not this late at night, in an empty corridor that a student or professor could waltz down at any minute. As much as I was liking the idea of spending more time with him, I didn't want anyone walking in and seeing us.
Especially not when we were so close. His proximity almost made me tremble, partly out of anxiety for his rapidly changing personality and partly for the way I physically felt.
To his merit, he wasn't touching me. One of his hands was rested on the wall next to my head, and the other lying by his side. His face was leaning down to be level with me, leaving a hunch in his long back. But he wasn't touching me. He almost made me tremble and he wasn't even touching me.
"The conversation we had the night of the ball was a shit one," he muttered lowly. "I didn't say half the things I meant to... or wanted to, and the things I did say weren't worthwhile."
"Draco... can't we talk about this some other time?"
The hand that was resting by his side shot up quickly to slap against the wall next to my head, causing a loud smack to be heard echoing down the corridor. It made me flinch, the sudden movement so surprising after our relatively slow talk.
"I just needed to tell you that I'm trying to do better."
"You don't have to—"
"Yes, I do," he purred. "Whatever you were thinking, yes I do."
— — —
A/N: I kinda feel like this chapter feels like filler but I promise it's not— it'll just take a few more chapters to make sense! I have it all planned out.
Hope everyone's doing well! I say that in every chapter but lmk what's up! For this A/N I'm gonna ask for you guys to drop a random comment or life update, I wanna hear something interesting! xx
vote + comment! xoxo
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