"Remember to have your essays on my desk no later than Friday morning. I'll have them graded by Monday classes," Slughorn explained to the class.

"Will we be able to calculate our final term grade based on those marks?" Granger spoke up from a table on the other side of the room. I rolled my eyes.

"Yes, you may. Also, to those of you doing exceptionally well in this class: this is the final essay before the Christmas holidays and if you have a current Outstanding mark in the class, you'll be excused from the final."

A few whispers could be heard from around the class at the possibility of skipping the final; that would be so nice to not worry about studying. Where was my grade? I think the last time I calculated it, I had somewhere between an Outstanding or Exceeds Expectations.

"That's rubbish!" Theo yelped from the table I sat at. "Why do you need an Outstanding—"

"Oh, Mr. Nott, maybe this'll encourage you to work a bit harder next term after the break," Slughorn peered over at him, making Theo slump in his seat like a child. He huffed audibly.

I snorted with a laugh, causing Theo to glare at me. "Sorry, Theo. I'm sure most people will be taking the final anyway, it's unlikely anyone except for Granger actually has an Outstanding."

"And Draco, lucky bastard," Theo slumped further down, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Shh, no need to put me in the same category as Granger," Draco shivered next to me before smirking. "But for your information, yes, I happen to be something of a potions master."

"And something of a pompous asshole," Theo added, making me laugh.

"Says the one who's barely passing this class," Draco rolled his eyes.

"I happen to be on the cusp of an Outstanding and Exceeds Expectations, thank you very much," Theo retorted. "I'm just annoyed I'm, like, one percent away from skipping the final."

"Your paper better be excellent, then," I looked over at him.

"At least we have a break after..." Theo sighed, before sitting up straight again, suddenly engaged again. "Hey, speaking of, what are you two doing for Christmas?"

Draco and I exchanged glances, both of us knowing but not wanting to be the first to speak up.

His attitude had been slightly warmer, but still the same for a while now. I was quite fed up with being treated like a secret, even though I suppose that I was the one at first who wanted everything hushed up. He wouldn't even touch me when someone else was around, but in private acted like he was entitled to all of my attention and touch for however long we were together. It sometimes made me not want to interact with him when we were together, just out of annoyance.

"Well," Draco cleared his throat. "We're, uh, hosting that Christmas Eve party."

"It's at my family's home, though," I made sure to make clear.

"Now it's kind of both— I mean, yeah, it's at y/n's," Draco looked down.

"Right," Theo nodded. "I forgot I'm meant to be there. At least my break won't be totally boring then."

"Excuse me, Mr. Nott, am I interrupting your social planning?" Slughorn asked, walking over to our table. Theo went red in the face, making me chuckle.

"Just discussing the essay, sir," he put on a fake smile.

Slughorn rolled his eyes. "Mm, yes, and the holiday break, no doubt. Focus on your studies, young Nott, and you'd have an Outstanding to skip the final."

Theo opened his mouth to reply, but quickly shut up. Probably for the best.

"Class dismissed," Slughorn turned back to address the rest of the class. "I'll be at my desk if you have any questions."

Students started to shuffle out of the classroom, staggering out in pairs, trios, some lonely singles. A couple kids congregated up at Slughorn's desk.

Theo scoffed. "I'm going to speak with him about my grade. Hopefully he's lenient enough to bump me up a percent to get to Outstanding."

Draco leaned closer to him and whispered, "Invite him to your father's next gala. He'll like that."

Theo nodded, eyes widened like he hadn't thought of that before. "Not a bad idea. Slughorn loves a good connection..."

I packed up my bag, thinking that Draco and I would be waiting for Theo to finish speaking with the professor and leaving all together. However, once I'd finished putting away my things, I felt Draco grab my arm and yank me out of the class. This wasn't uncommon at this point, however I couldn't say it was my favorite thing.

As per usual, I was dragged out into the broom closet next to Slughorn's class and pressed up against the door. Draco's lips were on mine, his hands roaming my body like he was touch starved and desperate for any skin contact he could get. I felt his frustration that we had our robes on, since he groaned against my lips after his fingers looked for any skin peeking out around my hips. I felt him frown but continued to ravage my mouth while he got his fill.

After a few moments, he finally pulled back and rested his forehead against mine. He pressed another kiss to my lips before whispering, "I've been waiting all class to do that."

"I had a feeling," I replied, trying to put some distance between us. It was dark, but I didn't need to see his face to know he was upset at that. He never liked when I tried to ward him off, even the tiniest bit.

"What's the matter? You've been... off, for a while," he asked, his fingers tracing my face and down my neck, gently.

"I'm not 'off', Draco. We just had class, I wasn't in the mood for a makeout session right now," I explained.

Maybe I would've been, but when you don't do any more than brush your fingers against mine when you hand me a book in class, it's hard to get the feeling that you're wanted. It was like he forgot how to flirt now that he knew I wanted him too. I missed knowing that he was trying to make an effort in getting me to notice him, or how his eyes would linger a moment too long in class.

Maybe that was selfish in wanting him to keep trying, but I didn't like how he could essentially ignore me then expect me to be at his beck and call whenever. The only time he showed me any affection now was when he knew there was nobody around.

"Let's go back to my dorm, then. We can have some time alone between us; Theo's got another class so we don't have to worry about anyone—"

"You're missing the point, Draco," I shook my head. "I've got studying to do, anyway... I'll just see you later."

I reached for the door handle, but he beat me to it, intertwining our fingers and pulling me up to kiss him once more. He lowered his voice again, and in the darkened room I swore I could still see the light reflect off his gray eyes for a brief moment.

"I just got you. Don't make me start missing you so soon."

"I'm not going anywhere, Draco, I'm just entitled to want some atte— nothing, don't worry about it."

"What is it, y/n? Tell me, and I can do something about it. After all I've done to get to this point, I'm not backing out now."

I suppose he was right, but it still didn't add up. He had no business in acting like he was even less interested in me than he used to be, then wanting all my physical attention when we had a moment alone. Many of those moments being ones that he forcibly made, not naturally happening.

"If I really have to tell you then it's not going to help."

He chose not to respond, just shaking his head and promptly leaving the broom closet.

I didn't really have any studying to do, but I was so turned off by his general behavior that I was in no mood to fraternize with him. Not like that, yanking me into a broom closet and kissing me like I was some secret. An affair. Something to keep hidden.

Sure, I wanted to keep us private when we first were married, but that was because I didn't want it to happen. I was avoiding humiliation and the reality that we were together. Now this? Didn't he have any idea that treating me like a mistress wasn't appealing?

I tried to take my mind off it and waited outside Slughorn's for Theo to come back. He eventually did, a few minutes later with a neutral look on his face.

"Any luck?" I asked, following him wherever he was off to. I assumed back to Slytherin house.

"Just with my essay, I guess. It better be one for the books."

"It will be. I can help you, if you'd like. Just that extra set of eyes that might catch something or want to add things."

He shook his head. "I got it. But your Christmas party better be great, I need to let off some steam after this."

"You know it's not that type of party," I chuckled.

"Right, it's going to be slowly drank cocktails and a string band and fancy decorations—"

"It's not like I'm planning it; my mother is," I nudged him.

"Draco's mother isn't?"

"She'll be... helping. Don't bring up Draco right now, I need a break from him."

He raised his eyebrows, looking confused. "You do? I knew something was up with you guys, but still? What's the matter?"

"Nothing, really. He's just being annoying."

"Well, that's obvious. But what's he done now?"

I laughed at that, before looking back up at him. "He's very... secretive. Like he doesn't want anyone knowing about us."

"I thought you didn't want anyone knowing about you guys?"

I rolled my eyes. "That was before when we weren't into each other. Things are... different now."

"I can see that. It looks like he's restraining himself around you. He used to look like such a lovesick puppy, now he's back to normal. Well, as normal as Draco can be."

"So you see it too? That's exactly it. It's like he's bottling up whatever he's feeling then lets it all out at once. It makes me feel like he doesn't want anyone knowing about us."

Theo hummed for a moment. "Trust me, I think Draco would scream at the rooftops that you're together if he could. There's got to be something else."

———

My apologies for whatever I've done to upset you. Hopefully this brightens your day a little.

Tout mon amour,

D. Malfoy

"Really, Draco?" I asked, walking into his room.

He was lying on the bed, reading a book when I came in and he scrambled to get up.

"Whoa, whoa, y/n, what's the matter?"

I tossed the diamond bracelet and note he gave me back at him. He caught it just barely; it would be terrible if he dropped something that pretty, even if I was upset with him.

"This better not be the way you think you resolve problems."

"You didn't like the bracelet?" he frowned, holding it between his fingers.

"I'm not saying I didn't like it," I huffed, "I didn't like you sent it as an apology. That's not the way to get over things."

"It's not like it cost anything for me, y/n. I could give you a hundred of these without thinking—"

"That's really not helping your case, Draco."

He went red in the face. It was then he realized he probably made the situation worse than it was, despite not knowing what exactly he did.

"I just... thought you needed some confirmation."

"Confirmation?"

"Assurance, I mean. How I feel about you."

I fought the urge to roll my eyes. I know how he feels about me, that's not the issue. But how could I be okay with his lack of affection and be expected to turn it around whenever he wants?

"Draco, this isn't the way you give assurance. You do that through other things... words, thoughtfulness."

"Y/n, why don't you sit down and we can talk about whatever's upset you? I'm sorry; I would've done better if I knew what the problem was from the beginning," he sat back on the edge of the bed and gestured to the spot next to him.

"I don't know if it's worth it to discuss," I shook my head, but he reached for my hand and pulled me down on his lap suddenly. I gasped at the sudden contact, but his grasp around my waist tightened before I could move.

"If it's bothering you, it's worth it to discuss," he whispered.

By that point, the proximity of our bodies so close to each other had me almost trembling. The seriousness in his eyes grayed them out, lacking the blue hue they typically had. His arms around me were necessary to keep me in place, otherwise I would've slipped out of his grasp due to nerves.

He brought one hand up to lightly trace my face and push a few hairs behind my ear, his face clearly with concern. It was almost tender, the way he caressed me with such gentleness. Even though he pulled me on him quite quickly without notice, he clearly was trying to make me feel comforted.

"Tell me what's troubling you."

"It's just... us getting used to this whole thing. The adjustment period," I choked out, rather unconvincingly by how he shook his head.

"Don't give me that. Tell me the real reason. Have I done something to upset you?"

"I don't think you've done it intentionally," I assured him.

"So I have done something," he sighed, his grasp on my waist tightening.

"Well, yes. It's what's been bothering me for a little while now."

I waited for a response from him, but never got one. He just lightly nodded his head, urging me to continue on. He pursed his lips almost like he was unsure.

"Have you noticed the difference in how we act together?"

He furrowed his eyebrows, looking confused. His eyes searched mine, looking for some personal confirmation.

"Act?" he repeated. "I'm afraid I don't follow."

I sighed. "When we're together, just the two of us. Compare that with how we act with our friends out in public, in the common room or wherever. You couldn't tell how we feel about each other based on that."

"It's not anyone's business what we are to each other," he stated, his voice hardening a little.

"I know," I breathed out, "that doesn't mean we have to act so different, though."

His eyebrows tugged together again, eyes narrowing. "You mean to say you... want to act like that? The way we do when it's just us?"

I hesitated, but nodded. I was a bit nervous of his reaction, but his features relaxed once he knew that was what I wanted.

"I haven't been ignoring you, have I?" he asked.

It was bad timing, but I chuckled a little. It actually lightened the mood a bit, causing him to appear more calm. "You could say that," I smiled small. He must have been hurt by that admittance, but the better mood of the conversation lessened its impact.

He pulled me closer to him in a tight hug, nuzzling his face into the crook of my neck. Since I was sat on his lap, I was a few inches taller than him which allowed him easy access for a close cuddle.

"Forgive me, love," he mumbled into my skin. The vibrations of his voice traveled through me, causing me to shiver the slightest bit.

"I should've said something to you before," I added once we pulled back the slightest bit to look at each other. I ran my fingers through his hair, which he seemed to find solace in.

"I just thought it was what you wanted. You insisted we keep it secret for so long that..." his voice trailed.

"I know, but that was before," I nodded. "Things are different now."

The ends of his lips tugged up in a smirk. He was clearly content with my change of heart.

"That's music to my ears, y/n," he nuzzled back into me, peppering light kisses on my neck which caused me to giggle. His thin lips pressing kisses into the sensitive part of my shoulder up to my ear tickled a little, which he seemed to find entertainment in seeing me squirm.

Once his short-lived assault on my neck finished, he looked at me longingly. I raised my eyebrows as if to ask why the sudden change in demeanor.

"You must've felt so neglected," he realized, a look of concern washing over him again.

I made sure to shake my head quickly to negate any bad thoughts he was having about himself. "Think nothing of it," I leaned down to kiss his lips quickly. "It was my fault for not telling you."

"All I wanted was for you to be happy," he rushed out, "I thought you wanted it to be secret and I didn't want to push you into anyth—"

I shut him up with another kiss, this time he responded to it more properly. Our mouths moved in a sensitive but passionate sync, like we were reaffirming our feelings for each other. Even if we've never had that conversation, our kiss did the talking. It had a gentleness to it, but didn't hold back on letting its intentions be known.

"You're not pushing me into anything."

"Good. Because you don't know how hard it's been fighting the urge to kiss you every minute."

———

A/N: Something of a filler chapter but also somewhat plot related! It was like a mini boss chapter ?? I digress...

School has been so tiring lmao but it feels like writing always calms me down so I'm trying to keep up a consistent upload. #selfhelp amirite

Love you all!! xoxo

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