"Okay, who wants to go next?" Daisy asked the group. We were sitting in our group therapy session I wanted to leave so badly.

"Naala how is the real world treating you?" Daisy said making everyone look at me.

"Fine I guess," I shrugged not wanting to talk that much.

"A bit more than that please," Daisy pushed, I cut my eyes to her and shifted nervously in my seat.

"It feels weird being out there. I feel weird being around people because I'm so used to here, with everyone," I said gesturing around to everyone. "Erm, my ex husband has full custody of my daughters and he won't let me see them at all, and it hurts because I miss them,"

"Good, let that emotion out don't hold it in. Remember our motto ladies?"

"It's better out than in," I mumbled feeling my eyes water,

"I want to see them but he's using my past against me and he's turned my eldest against me as well," I spilled. I felt comfortable around the group at times. "I'm trying to show him that I've changed but everytime we speak, he turns me back into what I used to be,"

"How does that make you feel?" Daisy asked softly.

"It makes me feel like how he used to make me feel our whole marriage, weak." I said letting my tears fall. "I understand I hurt him but I wanted him to feel my pain,"

"That's not right Naala, we don't take our hurt and hurt others - we learn from it," Daisy preached, "What's a good thing you've experienced being home?"

"I've got to watch my son bond with his dad, something I never thought would happen," I smiled.

"I'm happy to see you smiling," Daisy smiled too. I crossed my legs and turned my attention to the next person that was getting ready to speak.

The rest of the session went by and we were finally done.

"Naala can I talk to you?" I heard from behind me,

"Mini right?" I said with a light smile,

"Yeah, I wanted to ask you something. If you don't mind?" Mini asked pulling me to the side. I looked at her hand wrapped around my forearm and then back at her.

"I'm sorry." Mini said dropping my arm quickly. "I forgot about your personal space,"

"Did you need something?" I asked politely. We've never had a conversation before so I wondered what she wanted.

"The girls were talking the other day and one of them mentioned that you own a hair salon. I really need a job, to prove to my mom that I'm capable to look after my son," Mini started talking fast.

"Have you got a hair page?" I asked to shut her up, the rambling was making me uncomfortable.

"Yeah I do," She said rummaging through her purse. "Here," She handed me her unlocked phone on Instagram.

I scrolled through it and liked what I saw. "Come by the shop tomorrow and we'll see how you go,"

"Really?" She exclaimed. "Thank you so much, I could kiss you right now,"

"Please don't do that," I smiled awkwardly. "I've got to go now, here's the address," I said handing her one of the salon cards I kept on me.

"You won't regret it," Mini smiled widely. I smiled back and turned on my heels heading to the exit.

I saw Hassan's car parked up on the side so I went over and got in.

"Hey, thanks for waiting," I said to looking at his side profile.

"Ain't nothing," He said pulling off. "How was it?" He asked looking at me.

"It was therapy," I shrugged, not really wanting to go into detail about it.

I think he could sense I didn't want to talk because he put his hand on my thigh and squeezed it. "Look what I found," Hassan said handing me a flyer from the console.

"Martial arts," I read out,

"For Saint, to help with his anger. Maybe if he puts it into something else," Hassan explained to me.

"That's a good idea," I smiled reading the flyer. "We can sign him up,"

"I'll take him tomorrow," Hassan nodded. I was about to speak but my phone rang, distracting me.

"Hello?" I said putting the phone to my ear.

"You can't see them tomorrow," Amir said making me close my eyes.

"Why can't I see them tomorrow Amir, it's been 3 weeks," I said calmly,

"We ain't gonna be in New York," He answered making my blood boil.

"You're leaving the country?" I asked my voice getting louder.

"Nah just the state," Amir said nonchalantly.

"You can't take my kids out of the fucking state!" I shouted, Hassan rubbed my thigh and whispered,

"Take it easy, just breathe," He directed putting me at ease.

"I can and I am. Maniya has a show in LA so we're going," He added,

"Maniya didn't tell me about a show," I said my eyes stinging, I was getting so tired of this man.

"Naala what the fuck does that have to do with me? You can see em when we get back," Amir spoke and then hung up before I could even reply.

"Ahhh," I screamed smashing my phone against the dashboard several times, seeing the glass smash and fly everywhere.

"Come on baby stop that," Hassan said pulling into a side street. I continued to smash the phone against the dashboard until all the glass was embedded in my palm.

Hassan stopped the car and hopped out, opening my door immediately.

"Give me the phone," He said lightly.

"I'm gonna kill him," I cried, finally letting go of the tears I'd been holding back since therapy. "I'm gonna kill him," I repeated.

Hassan ignored me and basically pulled the phone out of my hand, dropping it on the floor. "Shit look at your hand," He said holding my bleed hand out of the car.

"I'm trying my best Hassan, I'm trying my best. I take my meds, I go to therapy. I let him keep my girls because that's what the judge said I need to do. I'm doing everything right, why can't nobody see that?"

"I can see it baby, I can see it," Hassan shushed me, "We gotta get your hand checked out now,"

"I hate him so much," I sobbed letting him pick glass out of my hand. "I want him to die,"

"No you don't, at the end of the day he is still their dad Naala, that's not gonna change." Hassan said with his attention on my hand. "He's wack for what he's doing to you and I'm gonna sort it, don't worry,"

"I just want to see them," I sniffed, my cries ceasing.

"You're gonna see them, baby stop crying," He said wiping my eyes. "I hate seeing you cry,"

I nodded and wiped my eyes, "Let's go before Saint tears that school down," I spoke taking my hand back from him.

"You don't wanna go to the hospital?" He asked me,

"For what? So that Amir can tell the judge I've been admitted into hospital again?" I questioned grabbing tissue from my purse and wiping away the blood.

"Okay but you good?" Hassan asked holding my chin. I moved his hand and nodded,

"I'm fine, let's go," I said again. He gave me a look I couldn't comprehend and then helped me sit back in the car properly before closing the door and going over to his side.

~~

"Why've you got our baby daddy walking around like a lost puppy?" Dess said with a lifted brow. I shrugged and picked up my drink.

When we picked up Saint, Hassan wanted to come to Dess' to check in on them and I didn't mind. Dess was a really nice person and she turned out to be a better friend to me in such a short time, especially since all my friends froze me out.

"He seems fine to me," I commented,

"Naala a blind man could see he's upset about something. Did y'all argue before you came in?" Dess questioned,

"Not at all. Me and Hassan never argue," I replied. "Maybe it was work or something,"

"Mmm," Dess hummed. "Have you thought more about what I told you?"

"I don't think Hassan sees me in that way, we're just Saint's parents," I said to her. Last week Dess rang me up adamant that Hassan had feelings for me after a conversation they had.

"If you say so," She laughed. We heard footsteps and it was Drew, Dess' boyfriend and Hassan.

"We're about to head out," Drew said leaning down to kiss Dess multiple times. I looked away because I missed having that.

"Are you gonna be okay over here?" Hassan asked me, he did seem a bit off but he'll tell me when he's ready.

"Yeah, I'll wait for you," I replied. "San are you okay?" I asked to be nice.

"I'm good baby," He said kissing my cheek.

"Where are you going?" I asked taking in his appearance. He looked too good to be running errands.

"Me and Drew gotta handle something quick," He answered. I nodded and took his hand,

"Be careful," I whispered softly, it was no secret what Hassan did but I understood. I was glad he supplied the drugs rather than sold them.

"Always," He smirked kissing my hand. I tried not to smile but I ended cheesing hard as hell.

They left and Dess snickered lifting her glass up, "Just Saint's parents, my ass,"

I opened my mouth to respond but I couldn't think of anything to say. I genuinely thought we were just parents but now Dess keeps mentioning it, I'm confused.

"Get up," I said nudging Trinity, she was laying on top of me even though I told her I have things to do. "I gotta go come on Trin,"

"I don't want you to go," She whined in my neck,

"I'm only going to the studio," I mumbled moving her off me. She got up and stared at me,

"Can I come?" Trinity asked batting her eyelashes,

"You don't need to be in a studio with your condition," I sighed putting my clothes on.

"I'm pregnant not disabled," She fussed getting up carefully. Her bump was barely showing but there was a little pudge.

"I didn't say you were but there's gonna be hella smoke around," I reasoned holding her waist.

"Then let me come to LA," She said crossing her arms over her chest.

"Trin, I don't think that's gonna work," I said honestly. Sinai was fine with her but Malia hated her and she didn't hold back with her thoughts.

"Why?" Trinity whined. "Your kids are gonna have to get used to me, I'm here to stay," She said putting my hands on her stomach.

"I know you are," I replied leaning down to kiss her lips. "I'll talk to Phat,"

"Thank you," Trinity smiled at me. "Let me go and get changed," She said kissing me again.

I let her go and watched her walk into the bathroom to change. When I was done, I went down the stairs and saw Maniya sitting at the island eating a bowl of cereal.

"You ready for tomorrow?" I asked making my presence known,

"I'm nervous," Maniya frowned. "There's gonna be real designers there daddy, I'm scared,"

"You ain't got nothing to be scared of," I wrapped my hand around her shoulder, "I'm gonna be there if you feel nervous,"

"Yeah you're right," Maniya sighed. "Is Trinity gonna be there as well?"

"Yeah, if you don't want her to come then she can stay back," I said opening the refrigerator,

"No I like Trinity," Maniya responded, "And plus she's having my little brother or sister," She added with a smile.

"Your mom doesn't know about that so don't go shouting about it," I chuckled sitting down beside her with a Minute Maid.

"Why would I tell her?" Maniya scrunched her face up. "I don't talk to mama, you know that,"

"Ion like that, just cause me and your mama don't get on doesn't mean you don't talk to her," I said to her.

"Mama doesn't care about nobody but herself, it has nothing to do with you. She's selfish and I don't need to talk to her," Maniya ranted at me. I nodded and didn't say anymore, I couldn't force her to talk to Naala.

"I'll see you later," I said standing to my feet as Trin came down the stairs.

"See y'all later," Maniya mumbled getting on her phone. I knew her mood was fucked up about her mom but that wasn't my fault, that's all Naala.

We left the house and I sped off into the direction of the studio. I squeezed Trinity's hand because I saw her looking off all sad and shit.

"You good?" I asked glancing at her quickly.

"Do you want this baby?" She said looking at me, "I know that this isn't how you wanted to do it,"

"Trinity I want this baby, this is our new start, of course I want it," I said quickly,

"But your ex," She trailed off looking back out of the window.

"Is just the mother of my kids, that's it. I don't see her like that anymore and I don't think I ever will," I spoke holding her hand tightly.

"Do you still love her?" Trinity asked me quietly. I knew I still loved Naala, you can't just turn that shit off but for the sake of my new relationship I had to lie.

"No, not anymore," I said lifting her hand into my lap. "I'm focused on you and our baby,"

"Okay," Trinity nodded, "Do you want a girl or a boy?"

"A boy, I know it's a boy," I smirked putting my hand on her stomach.

~~

"Play that back," I said out loud coming out of the booth.

"It's sounds so good bae," Trin said getting up and coming over to me.

"Nah there's something missing," I tutted listening to it closely. "Maybe turn me down a bit and make the beat louder," I said to the producer.

The studio door swung open and I couldn't help but chuckle at who walked in.

"Why you being a bitch?" Ace said pulling up his jeans. "Why I gotta keep talking to you about letting her see her kids?"

"Man shut the fuck up, you think you can just come up here and check me?" I said pulling Trinity next to me.

"I can when it's fucking with my girl," Ace replied playing with his chains. "I'm not gonna keep letting you fuck with her mind."

"Your girl?" I laughed. "How it feel having my sloppy seconds?"

"What?" He said stepping to me, his goofy ass homeboy pulled him back.

"Fighting me over someone I had first," I laughed steping towards him.

"Stop it," Trinity said putting her hand on my chest,

"Yeah listen to your bitch. Give me the address of the fucking show," Ace spat moving his friend off of him.

"I'm not giving it to you," I said taking a seat, "If you so big and bad, come get it,"

"Dave just tell him," Trinity whined in my ear,

"Ion want her there," I shrugged, "Neither does Maniya, tell her dat,"

"You're a real bitch," Ace nodded. "The next time you make her cry, I'ma kick your fucking head in," He pointed at me.

"Babe, don't be like that, tell him," Trinity said again pulling my arm.

"Don't beg him, he's a bitch that can't handle that she don't want him no more. You mad she hasn't been on her knees begging you to take her back," Ace carried on.

"Ain't nobody want her back," I said with a mug. "You've got her now, have fun with her crazy ass,"

He didn't respond, he shook his head and left the studio slamming the door behind him.

"He's right," Trinity fussed. "You're only being bitter because you want her back,"

"If that's what you think," I shrugged. I wasn't about to convince her that I didn't want Naala back, she could think what she wants.

"I deserve happiness and love," I said with my eyes closed. I was currently doing my self love affirmations to calm my mind. Amir called me and told me about Maniya's show and I felt like I needed to be in better spirit to be around him.

"I am in charge of how I feel and today I am choosing happiness," I mumbled, waving the sage around me.

"What are you doing?" I heard Saint ask from outside the room.

"She's meditating," Naleli replied for me. "Who would have thought her crazy ass meditated?"

"The more I focus my mind upon the good, the more good comes to my life," I said lowly ignoring them both and focusing on clearing my mind.

"The jet leaves in an hour Naala," Naleli cleared her throat.

"Is Amir gonna be on the same flight?" I spoke finally opening my eyes and putting sage out.

"No I made sure," Naleli responded. I nodded and got up, rolling my yoga mat up and putting it in the corner.

"You okay Papa?" I asked hugging him,

"Daddy took me to karate, and I liked it," He replied playing with my hair.

"Really? Where is he now?" I said looking at Naleli who was tapping her phone screen.

"Ion know," Saint mumbled. "He dropped me off and said he would see me later,"

I nodded and walked out of the room with both of them hot on my tail. I was dreading going to LA but I wanted to see my girls, I needed to see them.

"Saint go and change out of those clothes and put something normal on," I instructed pointing to his room.

"Naala, could you sign this?" Petra said softly putting her iPad in front of me.

"What is it?" I said taking the iPad and the Apple Pencil,

"The plans for the expansion," Petra replied quickly. I glanced over the plans and signed it with my name.

"A second salon? Already?" Naleli said peeking over my shoulder,

"I was thinking of one in Atlanta, I have the funds, I just need to find a space," I said handing Petra the iPad back.

"I'm happy you're working," Naleli spoke up, "This is the Naala I've been waiting to see," I smiled at her praise, it wasn't often that Naleli told me she was happy about something I was doing.

"Thank you," I smiled at her, "That makes me feel happy,"

"Don't get too excited," Naleli said with a straight face. "Hurry up before the jet leaves," She said before leaving out the room. Sometimes I think she's the bipolar one.

~~

I clicked my fingernails together nervously, my anxiety was crippling and I was irritated.

"Mama let's go," Saint frowned tugging on my hand.

"Nasir let me think," I snapped at him. He kept my hand in his and looked out of the window.

"Are you scared mommy? You look scared," Saint commented making me huff.

"I am scared. I don't think I'm ready," I mumbled to myself. I didn't want to see Amir but I wanted to see my daughters. The flowers I brought for Maniya were sitting in my lap, burning a hole in my thigh.

"But you said we were going to see other daddy, you're scared of other daddy?" Saint quizzed playing with my fingers. The truth was I was terrified of him, the person I was around him made me sick, I couldn't stand myself.

"No," I lied. "I need a minute," I said looking back out at the venue.

A knock on the window drew my attention to Saint's side of the car.

"Dad!" Saint shouted opening the door for Hassan to slide in the car.

"You came," I pouted, tears welling up in my eyes. "I didn't think you'd actually come,"

"You think I would let you come out here on your own?" He asked wiping under my eye with the pad of his thumb.

"You keeping your mama safe little man?" Hassan said to Saint who nodded.

"I was holding mama's hand when she was scared," Saint said proudly. Hassan looked at me and I bit my lip looking out the window.

"You ain't got nothing to be scared of Naala," Hassan said softly,

"I do. What if I haven't changed as much as I thought?" I fretted. That was my main fear, that Amir would see me and I would be back right where I started.

"You have changed. Come on before we miss the show," Hassan said taking my hand again. Having him here with me made me feel ten times better already.

We got out of the car and Saint was in the middle, holding both our hands.

"No security today?" Hassan pointed out,

"Not at my daughters show," I shook my head, I wasn't worried about outsiders hurting me anymore, I've been hurt enough.