Entry #19

--

7 months had passed.... And I'm still fighting.Not for myself, nor Jongin, but for my baby. 7 months had passed since he chose them over us. Krystal is now in her 8th month of pregnancy and Jongin has been a hands on father and husband to her.

And yes, he's been a hands on husband to Krystal, he filed a divorce paper to me months ago. And now they're married.

And I can see they love each other, much more than we loved each other before. I just smiled bitterly, how I wish my child has a father as he grows.

I just....wish.

7 months had passed and I'm still suffering..... and fighting alone.

I didn't mind my sickness, I just thought of my child. And now, if I loose my child, I don't know what to do anymore. My baby is the only reason why I still live. I'm living for him. I'll be fighting for him. I don't care if I still have AIDS, I can fight this just for my baby.

Jongin, I hope you're happy now. I may hate you for leaving me but I hate myself for still loving you. I'm sorry, Jongin-ah. I still love you. Please be happy.

Kyungsoo

One paper left for my last entry. I'll miss you, jagiya.

Will you miss me too?