《PANIC CORD ━━━ l.skywalker ¹》06
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"You're safe!" exclaims the Commander of the Rebel force. He rushes forward with a wide smile stretched across his face, pulling Leia into a tight hug. Clary watches awkwardly, shifting on her feet as she glances at Han. He's watching the man with narrowed eyes while the other Rebels surround them, smiling pleasantly at the princess.
"We had feared the worst," the Commander continues. He pulls away from Leia, clearing his throat as he straightens himself, standing a little taller, as if composing his actions. He then takes a step back, bowing formally. "When we heard about Alderaan, we were afraid you were there...lost along with your father."
Clary glances Leia's way. She feels a sharp pain of sympathy for the princess but Leia shows no sign of dismay. She holds her head high yet her eyes are sad as she nods back at the Commander.
"We don't have time for our sorrows, Commander. The battle station has surely tracked us here." She glances back at Han pointedly before continuing: "It's the only explanation for the ease of our escape." She gestured to R2-D2 who beeps pleasantly, riding towards the Princess. "You must use the information in this R2 unit to plan the attack. It is our only hope."
The Commander gives her another sharp, formal nod before glancing at the rest of the Rebel troops who disperse. R2 follows after the Commander to have his information read as Clary glances back at Han. His scowl is still prominent yet he stands as strong as ever, finally glancing back at Clary to meet her gaze.
"We're leaving, aren't we?" she asks. Han's brow doesn't stop creasing as his frown deepens.
"What? You want to stay?"
Clary hesitates. She doesn't understand why, but she glances back at Luke. He had been standing farther off, investigating the Rebel base. He meets Clary's gaze, however, as if knowing she is looking at him. His glittering blue eyes are the last thing Clary wants to look at as he gives her a small smile, sincere and kind. His gaze breaks away as Leia walks past, squeezing his hand reassuringly. Clary feels anger course through her veins and almost as quickly she feels guilt for feeling such a thing. She turns away.
Han seems to have been watching the whole situation. He watches Clary carefully—he knows her mind is racing. He tilts his head slightly as he asks again, "Do you want to stay?"
"Of course not." Clary's reply is quick and bitter as she stares past Han. She feels embarrassed for her anger. She loathes her immaturity. She wishes her mind would just stop thinking for once, but she knows that will never happen. She looks back at Han, who is still watching her with a concerned look. Clary forces a smile, reaching forward as she squeezes Han's hand tightly. "Let's get the money and get the hell out of here."
Han says nothing as he watches Clary carefully, eyes searching her warily. His gaze then flickers back to something behind her. Clary knows he's looking at Luke. He doesn't press her about it; he already knows she doesn't want to talk about it. Clary tries to ignore her feelings again as she releases Han's hand, pushing past him.
She never wanted to run away from a planet as quickly as she did now.
Clary stands near the back of the war briefing room beside Han and Chewbacca. Her arms are crossed over her chest as she leans against the doorframe. Leia is seated next to several other senators next to the giant readout that's electronically displayed on the wall beside Dodonna. The room is filled with starpilots, navigators and various other R2-type robots. Clary tries to scan the crowd to find the familiar little droid she had grown to love but he was nowhere in sight.
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"The battle station is heavily shielded and carries a firepower greater than half the star fleet," Dodonna reports. "Its defenses are designed around a direct large-scale assault. A small one-man fighter should be able to penetrate the outer defense."
A rough looking man in his early thirties stands, gaining the crowd's attention. He addresses Dodonna with assertion.
"Pardon me for asking, sir, but what good are snub fighters going to be against that?"
Han smirks, exchanging a wordless look with Clary.
"Well, the Empire doesn't consider a small one-man fighter to be any threat, or they'd have a tighter defense. An analysis of the plans provided by Princess Leia has demonstrated a weakness in the battle station," Dodonna replies firmly. The man nods shortly, sitting down, although Clary can tell from his displeased expression he still feels wary about the plan. She glances at the sound of a familiar beep emitting from R2-D2 as he turns his head from right to left.
"The approach will not be easy," Dodonna admits.
"You can say that again," Han mutters. Clary glances back at him as he watches Dodonna with a blatant expression. They both managed to tone out his report as Clary watches her brother warily; she wants more than anything to help the Rebels against the Empire, but she knows it'd be best to just leave. After all, they had only agreed to take Luke and Ben to Alderaan. They hadn't expected the other circumstances to arise when they did. Han remains as strong and protective as ever as he watches the meeting with his ever-prominent suspicious and watchful eyes. He notices his sister looking up at him as he nods to her, diverting his gaze from Dodonna. He watches Clary for a moment before smirking, his expression relaxing as he looks out into the crowd. She follows his gaze until it rests on Luke Skywalker, seated next to a younger pilot who had introduced himself as Wedge Antilles when Clary had entered the room. Luke turns away from his conversation with Wedge before meeting Clary's gaze. He holds it for a moment but Clary breaks away, feeling her cheeks warm. She looks at Han accusingly.
He merely smiles back at her. "Are you sure you don't want to stay?"
Clary's jaw clenches. Her gaze flickers up to Leia, who meets her gaze as well. She nods politely, her smile warm, and Clary turns away from her as well.
"No."
Han opens his mouth to say something but he's interrupted as Dodonna concludes the meeting. "Man your ships!" he orders. "And may the Force be with you!"
The group rises and a loud clamor ensues as everyone rushes for the door. Han, Chewbacca and Clary slip out quickly, heading down the hall. Chewbacca barks something but Clary ignores his comment. Before they can head farther down, footsteps sound loudly from behind. Clary glances over her shoulder to see Princess Leia, who nods to them.
"I suspect you'll be wanting your reward?" She gives Han a pointed look. He turns, meeting her gaze evenly.
"Looks like you're right again, Your Worship," he sneers. Leia holds his gaze for a moment, as if challenging him to change his mind. When Han doesn't say anything else, she lets out an agitated sigh, head held high.
"Very well." She glances at Clary, hesitating, as if hoping she'll change her mind. When she doesn't speak, Leia glances back at Han. "I've already gotten Commander Willard to start gathering your currency. They should be packing it in the main hangar deck as we speak, along with preparing your ship."
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"That's the most helpful you've been this entire trip, Your Highness," Han says. Leia narrows her eyes, obviously offended, but before she has the chance to sharply retort, Han turns his head, nodding to Clary and Chewbacca. "C'mon, let's get out of here." He doesn't wait for them to follow after him as he hurries down the hall, disappearing around the corner. A few other pilots follow after him, but as Clary watches them, she can't spot Luke at all in the crowd. She feels her heart sink but her disappointment is interrupted as Leia clears her throat, gaining her attention. She turns, glancing at her.
"Are you sure you're not saying?"
Clary bites her lip. If she got a bill of currency for every time someone had asked her that, she is certain she'd have enough money to pay off Han's debt.
"No," she finally says. She notices a slight waver of disappointment cross Leia's pretty face.
"He may be your brother, but you can take care of yourself," Leia says. "You're a good shot. We could use you."
"I appreciate that Princess," Clary replies. "Really, I do. But Han is my brother. I have the decision of whether or not I want to stay or go. And I want to go."
Leia holds her gaze for a moment before nodding slowly. "I understand."
You don't. Clary bites her lip, forcing a smile as she nods politely. "Thank you. I'll see you, Your Highness." She gives a small bow, unsure of formality, before turning swiftly, running down the hall before Leia can stop her. She follows the rest of the pilots and flight crew as they enter the main hangar deck. Looking down the spaceship hangar, Clary finally spots the Millennium Falcon before Han and Chewbacca. They're standing near the ship, and nearby, small cases are stacked before them. Chewbacca walks down the ramp of the Falcon, grabbing another case as Han leans against the boxes, staring ahead blankly. As Clary approaches him, he meets her gaze. He blinks but doesn't say anything. He doesn't have to. Clary understands.
"Having second thoughts?" Clary asks, standing beside him. Han scoffs.
"Hell no." He grabs a case, turning sharply before heading towards the Falcon. Clary watches him as a voice echoes over a loudspeaker, vibrating against the walls of the hangar.
"All flight troopers, man your stations. All flight troops, man your stations."
Han ignores the statements, returning to the stack of cases before grabbing two others. He meets Clary's gaze, yet says nothing, turning away once more. Clary watches her brother with concerned eyes. Perhaps she isn't the only one feeling regret.
"You're leaving?" Clary feels her heart race at the sudden sound of Luke's voice. She turns, ignoring the flutter in her chest as she meets his gaze. He watches her and his eyes are no longer kind and sincere, but sad and demanding. He waits impatiently for Clary's answer.
"Han has to get this money to Jabba—" Clary starts to explain but she's cut off as Luke sighs.
"Yes, but that's Han. What about you?"
Clary feels stunned. She feels her mind racing and she avoids Luke's gaze. "He's my brother, Luke. I have to go with him. I need to see for myself that he's safe."
"You're running away," Luke says. Clary opens her mouth to retort but Luke beats her to it as he meets her gaze, tone defiant: "We need you here."
"Luke—"
"We got a problem here?" Han asks, interrupting Clary's attempt of defense. He's made his way over to stand beside his sister, watching Luke carefully. Luke's gaze flickers from Clary to rest on Han. He frowns.
"You just got your reward and now you're leaving?"
It's now Han's turn to frown. "I got some old debts I've got to pay off with this stuff. Even if I didn't, you don't think I'd be fool enough to stick around here, do you?"
"You know what's about to happen," Luke retorts, eyes flashing angrily, "What they're up against. They could use a good pilot like you." He glances at Clary as he adds, "They need a good shot like you."
"What good's a reward if you ain't around to use it?" Han questions, interrupting Clary's racing thoughts at Luke's words. "Besides, attacking that battle station ain't my idea of courage. It's more like suicide. I'm not going to put my sister at risk."
Luke's jaw clenches. Clary can tell he's still boiling with anger as he nods. "All right, then." He swallows, holding Han's gaze. "Take care of yourself, Han. I guess that's what you do best." He then looks at Clary, blue eyes sharp. They're different than they usually are. They seem to burn into Clary, so many emotions racing through her because of them. She doesn't know what to think but in this moment, she knows one thing; Luke is expecting her to fight back. He's expecting her to agree with him, to convince Han to stay. She holds his gaze evenly. She feels the need to help the Rebels, but Han's life is more important to her than the troops will ever be. At the faltering look in her gaze, Luke scoffs.
"You really are his sister." The scorn and disdain in his voice is evident as he turns. Clary doesn't expect his words to hurt her as much as they do. She stares blankly ahead, feeling her chest tighten. She barely hears Han call after him genuinely—"may the Force be with you!"—as she feels her head reeling. She feels vulnerable. Clary hates feeling vulnerable. She had always been proud to be a Solo. She doesn't like how the tone in Luke's voice could change her attitude about that so quickly. She feels ashamed of her feelings and she finally looks up. Han is watching her carefully. He doesn't say anything; he doesn't have to. He understands.
Reaching forward, he rests a reassuring hand on Clary's shoulder, gripping it tightly. "Let's get the hell out of here."
Chewbacca growls in response, already heading towards the cases of currency as he and Han continue to load the starship. "What're you lookin' at?" Han questions as Chewbacca mutters his disagreement. "I know what I'm doing."
Clary starts after them, grabbing a case. As she lifts it off the stack, she glances over her shoulder. She spots Luke, who is watching her. His expression is unreadable, yet his blue gaze seems to captivate her, holding her own. She swallows, turning away.
Clary feels sad looking at Luke. She understands why, now, as she helps shove boxes of money into the armored speeder. She only feels sad looking at Luke. And she hates it more than anything.
Leading the way to the Falcon, Clary ducks her way into the ship. The usually familiarity that would greet her felt absent as her guilt seemed to gnaw away at her. She felt confused. Clary usually never feels confused. She glances back at Han, who is the last to enter the Falcon. He flips a switch, causing the ramp to rise, shutting the exit. Clary watches it sadly, heart heavy, and then glances up. Han rests his hand on her shoulder again before pulling her closer, hugging her tightly. Clary is nearly shocked by the gesture—Han showing affection was rare, and it only seemed to grow worse as Clary got older—but she feels warm. She hugs him back as tightly as she can. They understand each other—she knows him like she knows her own mind and he knows her. She doesn't need anyone else. All she needs is Han, and Chewbacca, and the Millennium Falcon. They were her home. They were all she needed. Yet, looking into Luke's eyes, she wants more than just Han and Chewbacca and the Millennium Falcon. She feels selfish and vulnerable and sad from Luke's glittering eyes but at the same time she feels elated and comforted and intrigued all at once. Her mind is racing again. Clary pulls away from Han, her guilt making her head reel. Han watches her for a moment.
He says, "You want to fly this baby out of here?"
Clary shakes her head. "No," she replies. She feels sullen at turning down his request yet lugs her feet towards the cockpit. Chewbacca is already seated in the co-pilot's seat, flipping on the controls to fly the Falcon out of the temple. Han follows after Clary. She stands beside the doorway, watching as Han seats himself down in the pilot seat. He looks back at Clary, obviously concerned. He meets her gaze, holding it for a moment, then nods, turning to face the controls. As the starship rises in the air, Clary's guilt stabs at her sharply and she turns her head away from the window, watching as the planet disappears before her eyes and the Falcon enters space, the dark galaxy surrounding them. Usually, Clary would be grateful for the stars; just her, Han, Chewbacca and the stars—the way it should always be—but instead, Clary feels guilty and angry with herself at the same time. She thinks back to Luke's sad eyes and Leia's disappointed frown. She thinks back to the relief in Commander Willard's gaze when he saw Princess Leia was safe and the charming smile of Wedge Antilles when he introduced himself in the meeting room.
Clary starts forward, standing between Chewbacca and Han as she flips a switch. The Falcon gives a shudder as it slowly cedes in its flight. Han glances at her.
"What're you doing—?"
"Turn this ship around, Han." Clary meets his gaze evenly. Han blinks, watching her carefully. Clary inhales deeply as she adds, "Please."
A smirk crosses Han's face as his arms cross over his chest. He nods to Chewbacca. "You heard her, Chewie—put the controls in full reverse." As Chewbacca roars his reply, excitedly flipping the switches, Han glances back at Clary, smiling. "Are you sure you want to go back?"
She meets his gaze, a smile breaking out across her face.
"Of course."
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