we are all blank canvas waiting to be tainted

pure and blank;

white,

of new beginnings and second chances

of ocean reflected in your eyes

I so easily drowned in

the color of the diamond studded dress

the night sky wore to the party,

a party I was so often invited to

one insomnia loved to take me to.

I cannot help but wonder

how it can make healing bruises look like oil paintings

mellow like jazz in a warmly lit café

yet deeper than an ocean

and once again

you swallow me whole

too calming and clear

too soothing – I do not want to be soothed

because it is too easy for you, and you do it again

here comes insomnia

wearing her star studded Cinderella gown

dancing in the night sky, basking in the moons' glow

of the late night parties

and the hypocritical ocean luring me into its depths

and watched as I drowned,

lungs burning for air

for breath;

brain starved for oxygen

the price of safety

you couldn't afford

of trust and loyalty

of promises that were meant to be broken

Sinking,

and you watched as I drowned

into the very blue of your eyes.