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"She left us, Tetsu. She left us because she doesn't want to be with us."

Tetsu remembered clearly that day of when his father told him about the whereabouts of his mother. Surprisingly, he didn't expect anything less, just by seeing how Tooru looked displeased of the subject.

He thought long and hard after that moment, taking the words in and process it in his little four-year-old mind. Adult conversations are still complicated for him to understand so the particular discussion with Tooru on the day they moved into their penthouse felt so small.

But ever since then, Tetsu has been looking at the window, wondering where his mother could be or what she looked like. Is she selflessly kind and amazing at her job? These are the things that he never thought about until now.

"Ready to go to the market?" the brunette asked suddenly when he approached the living room, catching his son by the patio door with palms planted on the clear door.

He blinked. "What's a market?"

Tooru nervously chuckled. He realized he doesn't take him that often for him to know. He flicked his head, motioning him to follow him to the front door. "We'll just have to find that out."

Both Tooru and Tetsu walked down the streets of Tokyo. The crowd is overwhelming as usual, it made the little boy stick closer to his dad by wrapping his arms around his neck. Oikawa seemed to be bothered by the amount of people he had to maneuver around just to get to a simple store.

Was Tokyo always this crowded?

Tetsu thought he'd never see the day to find the Oikawa man buying ingredients to cook. Markets are just so foreign to them that even Tetsu was amazed by how many products exist to make a simple delicacy called food.

"Daddy, this place is big," the small boy whimpered at the sight of endless aisles ahead of him.

"It sure is," Tooru gave a small smile before he had to turn back and look for something he wasn't sure of getting.

A brow quirked from the boy's face while staring up at his dad's thinking expression with his eyes trailing back and forth to each direction. "Daddy, do you know where we're going?"

"Of course, just stay close to me, okay?" A lovely advice that is, even the store is a bit crowded on the weekday. Beside that fact, Tetsu nodded and followed his lead where he hope is the register but Tooru is still on the hunt to find the rest of his groceries.

A cry caught the boy's attention, a screaming one that attracted everyone's attention in the vicinity. When he turned to the victim, it was a small girl - maybe a year or two less than he is, sitting in the grocery cart and pointing desperately at the box of snickerdoodle cookies on the shelf.

The woman who is with her must be her mother, desperately trying to calm her down and suggest a better alternative in snacks then her preference.

"But I want it!" she demanded louder, shaking in her kid seat and rattling up the cart.

"And I said 'no'!" The woman replied back to her. Authority plastered in her eyes as sheer exhaustion is written on the lines of her cheeks.

To Tetsu, she seemed more than just exhausted but there was a slight frustration in her expression; that it seemed like this isn't the first time she was in this situation.

And he wondered, did Tetsu's mother would look that way or how she will ended up? Perhaps, that was Tooru once while raising him. Annoyed, tired, maybe even regretful.

The thought of that image scared him, making the poor little boy panic.

"Daddy?" But once Tetsu turned, he wasn't there. Tooru wasn't there. So then, he really did start to panic. "Daddy?!"

Still, when he called out, he didn't make an appearance. Whenever he calls out to him, Tooru is always there to make an immediate response. But not now.

"Daddy!" He didn't know how but wherever he looked, his father was nowhere to be found. His breath became shorter, silently crying in the inside but somehow he is urgently searching for the tall brunette in the market.

Tetsu wondered and wondered, until he realized that he didn't want to be trapped in the supermarket. He needed to explore, to find him.

"Daddy!" He called but this time, it was outside the market and he was greeted by a sea of people walking pass him and carrying on with their day.

But no matter how much he wanted to call out to him, he just knew that Tooru wouldn't be able to respond to him. He is out of reach at this point and calling him would be pointless.

Nothing but people surrounded the boy and he kept walking and walking to just get out of the crowd. It was like endless hole that he couldn't get out of. With all of these people surrounding him, he felt so alone and lost.

Until he couldn't keep walking anymore, Tetsu bursted out crying. Not because he is lost, but because it is a possibility of his own parents didn't want him anymore.

The image of that particular woman looking so weary while staring at her sobbing daughter, he didn't want that for himself. He didn't know that that could be him and Tooru all this time.

When crowd cleared, Tetsu found himself in a spacious sidewalk, not empty but his view became clear that he is in fact alone.

With fists curled, Testu wailed until there is no tomorrow.

"Excuse me, are you lost?"

>>>

"Rina gave birth to you," you added shortly after witnessing a long silence from the boy.

Tetsu only stared at the picture, blinking with an unchanging face like he's in a daze. He took his time in examining the still image of her, and you couldn't comprehend what he might be thinking of. And not even Tooru can distinguish it either.

The contemplation was obvious on his face, unaware and speechless. Now you felt bad for the child. It was probably a lot for him to process something he doesn't quite understand.

Or perhaps, he does.

"Okay," he finally said under his breath.

Both you and Tooru gave confusing looks to each other before aiming eyes back to him.

That's all he's going to say?

"Tetsu," you grabbed his attention again only for him to stare back at you with unscripted eyes, "did you hear what I said?"

"Uh-huh," he nodded casually. His arms stretched out to hand you back the photo of Rina, and you hesitantly took it. "Can we eat now?"

"Er, sure," your voice trembled unsurely while lending it to Tooru to tuck it away in the deepest page in the photo album.

You carefully watched the toddler picking himself off the floor and running towards the dining table to await for his food. The sweet scent of rice porridge and barbecue pork took his interest away from the previous discussion, happily humming to himself and looking at you two as if you were the weird ones for reacting so oddly of the situation.

When you looked over at Tooru, he gave a mimicking expression and shrugged his shoulders. However, you weren't a fan of his reply but you didn't want to push your luck on Tetsu and question him further. So, you attended back into the kitchen to prepare their meals.

The rest of the night seemed normal despite the mishap of informing Tetsu about his biological mother. He doesn't seem too interested to know more about it, instead he just dismissed it and returned back to his own routine.

It was uneventful dinner, an underwhelming one. Tooru did his best to make you forget about the previous conversation by playing with Tetsu and his food, forcing you to engage into feeding them like children which it was a total, well-thought out distraction. You can't help but to giggle.

But once down-time approached, your anxiety spiked up again when you were about to tuck Tetsu to bed.

He ran straight to bed with excitement while you trailed behind him, seeing him claw up the bed and shimmying himself underneath his star printed throw blanket. It was until he waited for you to tuck him in with awaiting eyes, examining you carefully as you sat at the edge of his bed.

"Goodnight, baby," you uttered gently as you fixated the blanket over his stomach.

Tetsu laid and nodded, feeling the cold space in his bed slowly warming by his body heat. "Goodnight, mommy."

After you gave him a quick goodnight kiss, he stopped you in your tracks in the midst of standing up from your seat by calling out to you.

"Mommy," he said again. This time, he sounded a bit desperate so you turned your head at him. Tetsu blinked his brown eyes, looking hesitant on what he was about to say. "Is it okay to have two mommies?"

As shocking the question is; you don't know how to answer that. With your lips tightening and your heart clenching, you stared at the little boy longer than you should and then averted your gaze down at your lap. A deep exasperated sigh left your lips at his absurd question and you just knew that he was asking for your permission.

But you have to be honest with him, no matter how selfish you wanted to be.

"Tetsu," you started, "not everyone gets to choose their family, certainly not their mothers. I wish I can answer that for you but I think it is okay to have more than one mother figure. One who you have to live with, and one who you want to become family."

The little brunette gave a short hum at your response, speculating your thinking expression with his big round eyes.

You side glanced at him again, "Do you want more than one mommy?"

A silence approached and you can guess that he was, too, thinking. It was a loaded question that not even he can answer, not any time soon. So, you shook your head after a rush of guilt came to your chest.

You simply didn't want to pressure him to make a decision for someone as young as he is. Plus, you don't think you're ready to hear it.

"I'm sorry, baby. It's getting late," you told him sadly and tuck him once more for his comfort.

Although, Tetsu is against sleeping and he wanted to stay up to have this conversation with you. But, by your eagerness, he can sense how much you wanted to avoided it so he left it be.

Leaving the conversation at that didn't sit right with you, especially looking at how lost and confused he is by the complicated discussion.

"Listen, Tetsu," you began with hands curling against his fluffy blanket. "No matter what you think, I'll always be your Mommy."

The boy didn't say anything to you surprise. You were expecting a smile or an acknowledging look, but his expression remained still. Tetsu seemed more at ease as you can see the concern that flickered in his brown eyes washed away and his raised brows lowered.

"I love you," that nearly broke your heart. He said this many times to you but for some reason, it sounded like it will be the last time you will ever hear it. His sweet and innocent voice reeked with seriousness; a tone you thought you'd never hear in this situation.

You returned it, "I love you too, Tetsu."

You happily turned on his night light as the rotating ball spun itself and flashed rays of stars all over the blue painted room. Your body turned back again once you were by the door

frame, reaching the white door and closing it behind you. Another glance at the sleepy boy, Tetsu tried his best to keep his open eyes until you stepped out of his bedroom. Finally, he snoozed easily after you made your exit and left his door a crack open.

Tooru waited outside of the hall for you with his arms crossed over his chest and you just knew that he was overheating the conversation with you and his son.

"Are you okay?" He quickly asked, looking at you like you were hurt. Indeed, you felt like it.

"I-I don't know," you admitted and Tooru just enveloped you into an endearing hug. His arms trapped around your head therefore you're buried in his chest. His tall form towered you and then he slightly pulled away to get you to look into his deep malty eyes.

You find it so calming to look into those pools, assuring you that things will be okay. He didn't have to say it.

A twinge of a smirk reached at the left corner of his lips before he lifted your chin up so he can give you a longing kiss.

"You did good," a whisper came from him once he pulled away with lips only a centimeter away from yours. "It's only the beginning."

"I just hope it doesn't get harder," you muttered. But anything you said didn't may no heed to him, instead he was just rubbing your back and the crook of your neck just to ease your tense form.

"And if it does, we'll be ready for it, okay?" he said once more but in a softer tone. "You have me with you."

You nodded. You didn't want to make the situation any more difficult than it already is, especially you didn't want to stress him out.

"Let's get some sleep, darling," he pulled your hand so he can lead you to the bedroom. Tooru's flirty demeanor made you forget about your earlier discussion with the boy but of course it lingered in your head once Tooru fell asleep next to you.

He curled behind you with his face against your hair, you can hear him snooze away into his restful dreams. You, however, couldn't wink a sleep.

>>>

"Hey, sweetie," Tooru's voice made you jump in your standing form while you were in the midst of making your early breakfast of overnight oats. He leaned against the kitchen counter to steal a sip of your cup of warm brown sugar milk tea. "Did I scare ya?"

"You seemed pretty chipper," you noted, noticing Tooru's aura is glowing more than usual.

He gave a nonchalant shrug and kissed your cheek. "Well, things are pretty heavy lately. I think I have an idea what we can do later on. You're not working today, are you?"

"I'm not."

"Want to have a beach day? Just us three?" His brow rose to give you a suggestive thought. "Maybe we can rent out a room and make an overnight stay. We can get back home the next day if you have a shift tomorrow."

"Are you sure?" You questioned and then looking back at the little boy.

When you turned to him, Tetsu paced himself in eating his fruity cereal, shoveling ever piece of soaked flake in his hungry mouth. His spoon made clutter noise as he done so.

"Why not?" Tooru smiled. "Just a little getaway will be nice."

You gave a small pause before averting your back to him and released a defeated sigh. He's right, you thought. It seemed pretty obvious that you were buried in your own thoughts. It clearly showed that you're stressed about the whole Rina situation.

"Yeah... I would like that," you made a small smile at him and he returned it. Your hand placed his cheek. "I'm sorry for being so difficult. Thank you for doing this."

"No problem, sweetie. You have me." He reminded again and squeezed your side lovingly. "Let's ask our boy if he's up to it."

With a soft nod, the two of you maneuvered to where Tetsu is sitting as he was finishing up the last of his cereal.

"Tetsu," he seemed to jump by your voice and tilted his head to your direction. His normal smile stretched on his lips as he looked up with bits of his whole grain cereal on his chin. You happily wiped the excess mess off of his face with a small napkin. "What do you think of going to the beach today?"

"Today?" The sound of his voice lowered your skepticism and it relieved you. At least, he seemed to be normal. Then his smile stretched wider. "Yeah! I want to go! Is it us three?"

You hummed in agreement and you can see the excitement flourishing on his profile. He cheered.

"Let's get you cleaned up so we can start packing," you ordered gently while grabbing his empty kiddy bowl off the dining table.

"Okay!"

Tooru took the bowl from you as he started to do the dishes for you so you can start cleaning up the counter and stovetop.

"But Mommy," the voice of the small child hindered in the room as you turned to face Tetsu who looked back at you with a wondering expression. "Can Ri-chan go with us? I want to see her."

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Posted: 11-09-2021

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Sorry for the long hiatus everybody. I started a relationship and went through a deep depression for the past month. Trying to pick myself up and doing things that make me happy. And all I need is Daddykawa and my readers to remind how happy I should be :)