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Your unwavering turmoil was hard to shake off since Tooru brought you out of the situation by leading you to a different part of the beach - a more secluded spot at the foot of a cliff where nobody can eavesdrop into your serious conversation. You settled underneath a tree where there was little shade to shelter from the beaming sun. The subtle wind from a higher level gives it a nice breeze and cooling effect from the hot sun.

Once you sat comfortably with Tooru on the white sand, surrounded by pillars of rock, your eyes were fixated at the ocean view ahead of you as the sun began to set over the horizon. His arm propped over his tucked knees while he peered at you with concern.

"Are you okay?" He started, knowing where the conversation is about to take place by the looks of it.

Tilting your head down, you avoided seeing his gentle eyes trying to magnify you. "I'm sorry, Tooru... I know I keep bringing it up, but I can't help it."

"Tell me," he said gently, welcoming you to announce your thoughts easily. "I'm listening."

Your hands planted your face by the mere image of Tetsu's expressions throughout the day. His distant eyes kept wondering away from you to look at somebody else, his quiet demeanor when he's deep in thought, and the sound of disapproval in his voice didn't make you feel confident in your role as a mother. Instead, it made you question your ability.

"I think there's something going on with Tetsu," you admitted shyly and Tooru blinked his brown eyes in skepticism. "I feel like he's distancing himself. It sounds ridiculous to say but I don't feel so connected with him."

Ever since that night when you informed him about Rina being his mother, he seemed to be different. It wasn't obvious at first when the news was brought to him, but he is slowly registering the fact and acknowledging it. Perhaps, there is a slight chance that Tetsu grew to like her even more, or he's starting to detach himself from you.

"I never seen him like that before," you muttered as your knees are pulled to your chest, burying your face in between them. "I never thought he would be disobedient towards me."

Tooru remained silent while side glancing at you until he gave a brief sigh - not out of annoyance but out of admission, looking like he wanted to share his own intuition.

"Truthfully," he started. "I feel the same way too."

When you looked up from your ashamed position, you watched Tooru rake through his brown hair with his fingers and stare off into the distance. His face stirred in confusion yet there was a slight disappointment in his eyes as the sun reflects the color in them.

"I thought I knew my own son, but these past events made me see how much he's developing - maybe even changing," he glowered softly and then aimed his eyes down at the waves beneath him. "With Rina being in the picture, I can't help but notice how Tetsu is affected by her."

When you stared back at him, it took you by surprise how truthful it sounded. Tooru was so chipper that it didn't come across your mind that he's in your shoes.

"Why didn't you tell me this before?" you asked.

"I wanted to be fair," he replied immediately, now looking guilty by peering at your lonesome state. "Everything was all for Tetsu, and I wanted to be optimistic about it. But I guess it backfired."

The nervous chuckle he emitted gave ease into the conversation, although that made you worry. You groaned, "I wish I knew."

Tooru frowned at your words and scooted closer to your position to reach across your bare shoulders. His hand touched the bone of your right one and pulled you to lean your head against his neck. Your cheek touched his warm skin, whiffing a natural yet pleasant scent of burnt wood and coconut sunscreen emitted from his body. "I know, love. I just need one of us to stay positive in these moments, you know?"

You felt his chin resting on top of your head as he gazed at the sun almost setting over the blue ocean. Slowly, a blanket of orange and pink dusted the evening skies.

Curling against him, Tooru allowed you to swing your legs over his lap as he wrapped his other arm around your waist, gently embracing you.

"What if he starts to resent us? For letting Rina in," you began to question thoughtfully and lowered your eyes at the collar of his neck. "I don't think I can bare with it. I don't want to fight over him."

When he laughed again, you can sense the vibrations in his throat when he did so. So you looked up at him in disapproval to see that he was grinning at you.

"What, are you jealous?" Tooru teased in a playful planner.

A pout formed on your lips at his outrageous attitude, "Of course! It sucks knowing that I didn't give birth to him!"

The air became atmospheric again once he saw the irritation on your brows. Just by looking in your eyes, Tooru couldn't keep a happy demeanor. He knew he failed to keep it cheerful.

Your hand curled against his chest and then you stared down in embarrassment. "You don't get it, do you, Tooru? I don't feel very confident. I don't know what I'm doing is right as a mother anymore. Sometimes I doubt myself whether I'm fit to be one or not. Is this the best way in doing things?"

Tooru didn't make a quick reaction at your response. His lips straightened into a thin line, studying you while you shunned your avoidant eyes away from him. He exhaled a soft breath as a small and amusing smirk tweaked at the corner of his mouth. By gently brushing the back of his fingers against your cheek, he brought your attention up again.

"That's the part of the role, isn't it?" he reminded. "When Tetsu said that he hated me, I knew he didn't mean it but it felt like he did. And it hurt so much. It's only normal to have doubts and to feel useless in situations such as these."

Then his fingers traced to your lips, brushing his thumb at the full the fullness of it, completely mesmerized at your wondering expression at him. The memory of Tetsu's birthday still haunts him to this day, hoping that he'll never have to hear those words ever again.

Then Tooru gave a quiet sigh, "Trust me. I'm not happy how everything turned out either. I cannot forgive Rina for what she did. If anything, I'm sorry that I brought you into this. I just can't help but feel responsible for putting you in that position. I never wanted you to feel that way about losing Tetsu."

And he was right. You feel exactly that but you completely disagree that he is the blame for your worries. Having Rina present and the results of today introduce you into new perspectives - shocking ones.

"Im so mad at myself," your voice shook with anxiety as your hands planted your distraught face. "How could I be so careless?"

Just by reflecting your reaction, you were embarrassed by the tone of voice you gave to Tetsu. You never thought that you could be so angry and so sad in the moment that you weren't aware that you were yelling at him. Your emotions and stress took over and his response is cemented in your mind.

"I love him so much. Any moment, or any day, I can lose him. Am I being too harsh or selfish when it comes to him?"

Tooru couldn't stand watching you question yourself. The more you talked to yourself, the more he felt helpless. His brown brows curved sadly by the sound of your voice trembling, and immediately he hugged around your body to rescue you from your insecure thoughts. It felt like he was reaching from the top of a well and pulled you out of it, because his embrace just felt like it - uplifting.

"Baby it's okay," he softly mumbled against your neck, nuzzling close to your ear so that his comforting words can only be heard from you. "That's a part of being a parent. You are not any of those things, just the complete opposite. You're just trying to protect him. Tetsu may not think of it as anything, but I'm sure he'll understand when he's older."

When he's older...

To think that one day Tetsu is going to age, that is a scary image for you. The small child you love won't be a child ever again - continuously growing older as time pass. Every moment and every second makes a difference.

Yet, to hear that you will watch Tetsu's development in the future brought some sense of comfort and security - that Tooru plan to keep you in his and his son's life for a very long time. The feeling of belonging is very new to you that you were almost in a brink of tears.

Tooru's malted eyes hooded once he met your overwhelmed, teary ones and immediately, he pressed his lips at the top of your head.

"I know that this is not the time to show praise, but I'm happy to see that you're showing concern for our boy. It makes me feel less alone on this. It validates what I feel on a daily basis," he explained a side you never knew.

A first time father without any guidance or mental preparation to raise a child, he must be so alone. Having a partner like you reminds him that every day is beautiful with his child around, and that being a parent is God's gift.

"I'm so proud of you for being there for him. I'm very grateful for what you've done - that you come to love him as much as I do. I just... I love you so much that it's so surreal. I know you are not legally his mother, but you are meant to be his."

As he said this, Tooru connected eyes with you and held your hand against his chest. Somehow his voice sounded promising as if he devoted himself to you. And you couldn't ignore the steady pace of your heart. In that moment, you wished you can cry in his arms and never have to come back to reality, wanting to move farther away from it.

"Why are you being so sexy right now?" Your words sounded like an accusation, but Tooru found amusement in it and chuckled sarcastically.

He gave no answer, instead his hand grabbed under your jaw, pinching his thumb on one cheek and two index fingers on the other, he turned your head to force your lips to meet his puckered ones. Your surprised gasp made him slip his tongue in your mouth easily as he kept giving long and passionate kisses.

His assurance, love, and kindness was recognized through the kiss. The way he paid attention in giving you the kind of love you deserve is ecstatic. His lips memorizing and marking yours, it felt magnetic.

Instantly, you fell into his magic by circling your arms around his neck, engulfed by the warmth of his lips locking with yours. You found yourself entangling your tongue with his as a deep sigh escaped from you. Kissing Tooru right now made you realize how deeply you miss your time with him, remembering why you fell in love with this man in the first place. But each and every moment with him is keeping you fall in love over and over again.

Once Tooru released your lips, he kissed you again at a different angle but with haste, tackling your lips hungrily.

His hands explored and squeezed at your sides as he continued to dance his tongue in your mouth that's completely open for him to enter. Your breath hitched when you felt his long, large hands feather up and down your bare back, soaking into the warm light of the sun. Tooru's fingers teased by playfully sneaking underneath the back of your bathing suit, just begging for it to pull up.

Until he inched away, his left hand kept playing with the hem of your bandeau underneath the cup of your right breast.

"I'm so turned on right now," he whispered against your lips in a husky tone, gently tugging your swim top for permission to continue.

You were so dazed in your thoughts that you didn't even notice how breathless and needy he sounded. "You are?"

"Can't you feel me?"

When he grabbed your right wrist from his neck, he let it drag from the bone of his collar to the left side of his chest where you can feel him breath heavily and his heart is gradually racing. You thought he would stop there, but he continued to bring your hand down under his pecs to the middle of his stomach and down to his solid abs.

Tooru watched your expression with hooded eyes, growing darker underneath the pink sunset sky. Until the tip of your fingers reached his white drawstrings, he lowered your hand slowly to a particular spot where his arousal is showing.

He gave a short breath when you palmed him and gave him a gentle grip, familiarizing the hardness of his cock and the length that is stretched against his thigh. You proceeded to rub him through his shorts, stroking the base to the tip in a gentle motion. Just by imagining how achy his cock feels, you can sense yourself twitching in between your legs.

You asked quietly after you gave him a few pecks at his jaw. "Where do you want to go?"

"Nowhere."

And your brow quirked at his bold answer. "You can't be serious."

Sex out in the open?

When you scanned your surroundings, there was no one around. Just you and Tooru in your small oasis. Nothing but boulders and rocks shielding your privacy from the public but any curious explorer can reach this far of the beach, even a fisherman. The idea of it gave you nerves but also a thrill to be doing something illegal yet humiliating.

Tooru peered at you with suggestive eyes. His breath is becoming short, "My dick can't wait any longer. I don't care who sees."

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Posted: 08-18-2022