let's get into this shit

Y/N POV

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

For what it's worth, I would rather spend my life dancing the night away with her without a care in the world then try to redo the shit I've already done.

For what? A better outcome? That wouldn't make me the person I am,

and I have no shame being me.

—

"Welcome home!"

I heard Rich say as he descends down the stairs, strolling right next to me to take my bag that I had slung over my shoulder.

The gesture was appreciated greatly from the weight it carried on me, but it made me suspicious of Rich.

He never does this unless he wants something or is hiding something.

"Thank you, now what do you want from me?"

Rich seemed offended, scoffing at me as we walk to put away my bag in the kitchen.

He walked with it, setting it down gently and turned to me, still scoffing.

"If I wanted something I would say it. You came home, do you think I'm that greedy?"

I stayed silent as I roam around the kitchen and sit on the counter, my feet being sore from walking.

"Well you didn't pick me up at the airport, like we originally planned,"

"That's because I had to do something. But I called an Uber for you."

"Sure"

I pull out remaining things in my pockets, finding interest in them instead of the conversation at hand.

I could see out of the corner of my eye that Rich was staring at me.

"What? Do I look gross or something?"

"No no, just admiring you,"

"Well stop. It's weirding me out, dude."

Rich only smirks at my remark, making his way towards me as he stops in front of where I sit, still holding a god damn smirk on his lips.

"I bet I can show you something that will blow your mind!"

Without any time to answer him, there was a loud raspy sound. A familiar laugh coming from a distance, obviously not near the kitchen, possibly not even from downstairs where me and Rich stood.

All I do was give Rich a warning look before hoping off the counter to my feet, fleeing from the kitchen and what remains of my stuff, only going to see where that laugh came from.

Rich turned fast, following me towards the stairs as I race up them, hearing small sounds of voices getting a little louder each step. My heart felt numb all this time to what I expected to show up when I get there, but the feeling of seeing her again somehow made my heart come back to life as I grew nervous.

I head straight for Eli's door, as the sound came radiating from behind the entrance to his room.

Rich doesn't make a sound as he trails behind me, waiting for my move just like I was.

But without hesitation I open the door and move my head in, my eyes landing on Eli who sat on his desk chair facing away from me. But once I saw the other two people who sat in the room I could have sworn I pulled the handle to close the door, but there was Rich, opening the door further into the room, blocking my actions that were opposite to his own.

"Sorry for coming in so sudden, Y/n came back home."

Rich wrapped up neatly, forcing me to stay by his side like he was my mother introducing me to a friend.

I saw Eli perk up, getting out of his chair to come and give me a stiff side hug, the room fairly silent as he stepped back.

I saw Rich and Eli's worried expressions trying to be suppressed, but failing miserably as they couldn't lie well at all.

"Hey Zoe! Long time since I've seen you,"

A warm smile invading my face while I walk over to Eli's bed, bending down to pull Zoe in a tight hug.

After the warm hug the only greeting I give to Billie was a petty nod, acknowledging her existence in the room.

Rich noticed this and pulled me back into his arms, trying to make me talk about my trip while he only gassed me up about my trip and how fun it probably was to see my sister again.

I agree with what he was talking about, slowly but surely starting to speak more in general with what everyone was speaking about. I could just tell the more comfortable I got the more Billie got uncomfortable.

"Did you text Jetta yet about you landing?"

"Oh no not yet actually, we didn't talk the whole time so I pretty much forgot."

Rich nods along, so does Eli. My eyes, like an instinct by now, start trailing over to see Billie.

Her reaction was mute, nothing flowing through as an emotion as she looks straight ahead, absolutely out of the conversation.

—

"Why did you come over?"

Billie sat on the bed, looking anywhere by my eyes as I sat in front of her.

"I can't hang out with people?"

"I didn't say that, but it's my house."

"You pay the bills?"

Billie snapped, her head turning up to look me head on.

"I do actually."

It went silent, the room that only had us in it had gone completely silent without any sound.

"I'm stupid for giving you so many chances that I did. Should I even do it again?"

"What do you think?"

This conversation starts to work me up, out of habit I start playing with a ring on my finger, not paying attention to which one just picking one and sticking with it. Without a thought in mind, I followed Billies eyesight, it trailed down to the ring I was touching.

I looked down as well. It was the ring. It's pretty much our ring.

"I don't know why you're asking me if you should give me another chance when you still got that ring on."

"Not like you don't have it on you."

I shot back, knowing I was right as it was on her middle finger.

"Why don't you go text Jetta?"

"It's definitely not like that."

"Fuck you."

"Why are you mad? Not like you got fucked over so many times."

"Not like you had to deal with it from my end!"

"You had to fucking resort to sleeping with guys!"

"I hate you."

Billie said through gritted teeth, a fire burning in her blue eyes.

"I wish you did. Maybe I can move on if you actually hated me."

My timing was off, I was all off. And I swear I say this all the time but I wasn't expecting this.

Billie shot forward, sitting in front of me and roughly grabbing my face before planting a kiss on my lips. There was something in me that wanted to kiss her back, but I really can't. So I didn't.

When she pulled away all I could do was laugh,

"You just said you hated me. Truthfully or not, you still kissed me! Can you make up your mind? Do you hate me or want to kiss me?"

I could see the regret in her face, her body turning cold.

"I just want to be with you and not fuck it up this time."

Billie spoke softly.

"I want that sometimes. But is it really what should be happening?"

"I could make it right. I promise."

"I can count how many times you've promised me before. How many of those you've broken."

Now I was really being a dick. She was showing some sort of sympathy and I was shutting her down just like all of those times I wanted to but couldn't.

I don't hate her, but I definitely hate what she has done. If she could make it right I could see us working, but I just can't see it with how many times this has happened.

"I know what you might be thinking. But please, I'm in a better place and I promise you that I will change for you. When you met me I was really bad, and even at that time I was still showing my best with you. Please y/n."

"God I am so stupid."

I say to myself.

I'm such an idiot for being so in love with her that even though she has done what she has to me, I still find this begging to be worth it.

I look up to see her already look at me, a rosy look to her cheeks as we stare into each other's eyes. I gently place my hand on her cheek, letting it rest there as she practically melts into the touch. Quickly leaning in, I place a soft kiss on her lips.

"Give me some time. You don't know how lucky you are that I'm even thinking about this."

—

Hey.... heyyy how y'all doing?

So I'm back, hello