Ant waited patiently for the tears to subside,while holding his distraught friend in his arms!

Eventually the sobs became gentle sniffles and he pulled back slightly from the hug,looking into Decs tearful,swollen eyes.

"Talk to me Decky,tell me how you're feeling?" Ant pleaded

"I don't know Ant" Dec sadly replied.

They both positioned themselves comfortably on the bench facing frontwards again,Ant kept a firm reassuring arm around Decs trembling shoulder!

"I'm just numb" he continued "I don't know what to think or how to feel,I don't know what to do,I just feel empty"

Ant stroked his hand gently up and down Decs arm.

"Dads dead!" He bluntly stated.

"I know pal,I know" Ant sadly replied wondering what else he could possibly add to that?But he also didn't want to say too much,he wanted Dec to open up to him,to talk to him,to tell him how he was feeling and just hoped his tactic of keeping relatively quiet would have the desired effect.

He waited patiently for Dec to continue but no further words were forthcoming,so he gently cajoled him into speaking more.

"What do you want to do Decky?do you want to stay in Newcastle longer or go back to London?"

"It just feels unfinished Ant" Dec sighed,not answering the question "Dad died,we buried him,now what?that's it?what do we do?just go back to every day life?it feels like there should be something more"

"I get that Decky,I really do,a whole lifetime of a loving father and now it feels like that's it,it's strange"

"Yeah it is" Dec replied "I guess I'll come to terms with it eventually,don't have any choice do I?it's not like I can change anything can I?"

"You could see a grief counselor maybe" Ant suggested

"Nah,that's just not me,I'll be ok" Dec sounded very unconvincing.

"So what do you want to do?" Ant repeated

"I want to go back to London" Dec sighed "but Mam,what about her?"

"She'll understand and she's not going to be alone,your family will make sure of that,you need looking after too and if you want to go back to London,that's what we'll do,everyone will understand" Ant reassured him.

"What do you want to do now though?we can go straight back to the hotel now if you can't face everyone again?"

"That would be rude though wouldn't it?" Dec asked

"Of course not,they're your family,they'll understand,we can just go back,pick up the car and leave,you don't even have to go in if you don't want to?give your Mam a call or text just to tell her"

"They'll really worry if I do that" Dec mumbled

"Ok,well it's entirely up to you,let's start walking back anyway and decide when we get there"

They started walking very slowly back and once they arrived at Annes house,they could hear the voices coming from the living room signalling that Decs relatives hadn't left yet.

They both paused at the garden gate.Ant turned to Dec curiously

"Well?"

"I can't face it Ant,I can't face them all again,it just feels too much"

"That's ok,come on" Ant ushered Dec towards the car parked further down the road.

They both sat silently in the car for a few seconds before Ant urged Dec to send Anne a text so she wouldn't worry.

'Sorry Mam,not feeling great,so me and Ant have gone back to the hotel,I'll call you tomorrow,love you'

Dec pressed send and slumped back into the passenger seat,before his phone pinged alerting him to a text.

'Ok sweetheart,I hope you feel better,I'll talk to you tomorrow,love you too' Dec smiled at Annes reply and tucked his phone into his pocket.

They soon arrived back at the hotel and Dec announced he'd like to take a nap.Ant was happy about this as Dec desperately needed to catch up on sleep.

"I'll go to my room and might as well start packing,just text me when you want me to come back,I'll help you pack later if you like?"Ant winked knowing how disorganised and messy Dec could be and he also loathed packing,Ant was always happy to help him out,it was what Ant was very good at anyway.

Ant returned to his room and sent Christine a quick text apologising for not visiting like they said they would,explaining how Dec just wasn't up to it and also informing her that they would be going back to London the following day.Of course Christine totally understood the situation and that Dec was Ants priority at that time,she was proud of the caring young man she'd brought up and wouldn't have wanted it any other way.He said he would try to pop in tomorrow before they left if Dec was up for it.

He knuckled down immediately to getting the packing done,it didn't take long,his usual organisational skills coming into full effect.Once it was done,he just laid back on the bed and relaxed in front of the TV,not watching anything in particular.

His mind soon wandered back to Dec,how will he get him through this?what can he do to make things better?is he helping as much as he hoped he was?Ant just didn't know,all he could do was hope!

He thought of their new show that was going out in just a couple of weeks,and they'd have to be in rehearsals even earlier than that.How would Dec cope with being back at work?but he soon put those thoughts to the back of his mind,Dec was always totally professional no matter what and maybe the distraction of being back at work would be good for him,in fact Ant was pretty sure it would be exactly what Dec needed right now.

Four hours later Ant was getting bored and was extremely surprised that he still hadn't heard from Dec,would he really be napping for this long?He decided to have a peak into Decs room,he had a spare key card so quietly entered the room,he was immediately greeted with the sound of light snoring,so after glancing at Dec who was sleeping on his side,his face buried deep into the pillow,the duvet pulled right up to his chin,he couldn't resist tip toeing over and planting a light kiss on Decs forehead.

Almost an hour later Ant got Decs text informing him he was awake and would he please come back to his room.Ant immediately obliged.

"Hey,you had a good sleep didn't you mate?" Ant asked as he entered the room.

"Yeah I did" Dec smiled "I feel so much better now"

"Good" Ant was so pleased

"Have you packed?" Dec enquired as he looked around the room that was casually covered in his discarded clothes and other belongings.

"Yep,all done except for the last minute bits I'll need until tomorrow"

He laughed at the look on Decs seemingly baffled face,knowing exactly what he was thinking.

"Want a hand packing?I know how you hate it"

"I don't just want a hand packing,I want you to do it all" Dec cheekily said.

Ant shook his head at him playfully "lucky for you I'll do anything for you"

Ant soon had most of Decs belongings neatly packed away.

"What time do you want to leave tomorrow?" He asked

"As soon as we're ready I guess" Dec replied "I'll have to pop in and see Mam before we go though"

"Yeah of course,I'll have to see my Mam too"

"Oh God Ant,I totally forgot,why didn't you say something,we were meant to visit her today too" Dec cried guiltily,getting increasingly distraught.

"Hey,it's fine,Mam understands,that's the last thing you should be worrying about now,if you're up for it we'll visit both our Mams before we leave,ok?"

Dec nodded sadly as Ant pulled him in for a hug.

The next day they were up early,had eaten breakfast,well Ant had,Dec had picked at his food as usual and were on their way to Annes house.They'd already agreed they would make the visits quick before the long journey back down south.

Dec and Anne held each other tight as they stood in the hallway.

"I'll be back real soon Mam I promise" he sobbed

"Ok Declan,but please don't worry about me,you need to look after yourself,I know my boy and I can see how you're struggling" Anne sighed sadly

"I will I promise" Dec whispered

Anne turned to Ant and pulled him into an embrace as well,as if reading her mind he looked directly at her

"I promise I'll be there for him,don't you worry about that,I'll look after him"

"I know you will Anthony and I'm so grateful to you for that"

Ant and Dec then said similar goodbyes to Decs siblings who were still around before making their way to Christine's house.

It was another quick visit just to say goodbye and they were soon on the road for the long trip home!

"Why don't you lay the seat back and try and get some more sleep" Ant suggested.

"I might just do that" Dec smiled and pushed the seat back.

A few hours later,they arrived back in Chiswick.Dec had dozed on and off but definitely hadn't had any quality sleep but car seats obviously aren't the most comfortable of places to get any rest.

When Ant pulled up into Decs driveway it was late afternoon.

"Home!" Ant announced

Dec yawned and stretched and pulled the seat back upright.

"Wanna stay over?" Dec asked with a hint of desperation in his voice.

"Of course I will" Ant smiled "I'll stay over as long as you need me to"

They took their belongings into the house and got comfortable in the living room.They spent the evening chatting,drinking beer and laughing at each others silly jokes.

"It's so good to see you laughing again" Ant quipped

"Thank you Ant" Dec smiled as he swigged at the much needed bottle of beer "thank you so much for everything.You've been brilliant,I don't know what I'd have done without you,I appreciate all of what you've done for me so much,I hope you know that?and I know this has all been difficult for you too,I know how much you loved Dad as well"

"Yeah I did,he was brilliant,just like his son!And of course I know how much you appreciate everything but it's no bother kidda,I promise you that,I know you'd do the same for me,it's in the best mates agreement" Ant replied

"Yeah it is" Dec laughed

"You'll get there Dec,I know you will,one day at a time eh?" Ant was starting to feel more positive,was Dec beginning to come out the other side?

He certainly hoped so!