I hear a crinkling next to my ears as the smell of fresh snow awakens me.

A pink color blooms on my cheeks as the satisfied feeling of winter envelopes me, making me want to cuddle into my blankets further. Except— I'm not home.

Everything comes rushing back to me, jumbled up memories, but memories nonetheless. It takes my eyes a second to unfreeze, frost still coating my eyelashes. My vision is blurry and breath is starting to come out in huffs as my peace is snatched from me.

Had I killed anyone?

I made sure to let them know to get the furthest away from me, but had anyone gotten tripped up? Trapped? Too slow? Questions wrap around my mind, making it difficult for me to breathe.

Opening my eyes is a strange feeling— as if I hadn't been sleeping at all. My body feels energized and I want to continue doing whatever it was I was doing on my own. I'm sure that was just stage one of my Ice taking over— but how often would this occur? Would anyone be truly safe around me? So many questions that I needed dad to answer, but all that lingered were the shadows of the things he used to tell me.

I haven't been practicing with my ice like he insisted that I'd do. So perhaps this was my fault after all. He had given me simple instructions on how to keep the ice at bay— yet when it actually came down to it, I was so wrapped up in everything else and shunned my responsibility.

I'm a joke.

I'm snapped out of my foggy mind as I hear teeth chattering next to me. It takes a second for me to take in my surroundings and all that I'd done— a winter wonderland. The entire camp had been frosted over, icicles latching onto trees and a fresh coat of snow on the forest ground. A good two inches surrounded me— us.

I glance next to me and meet the face of none other than Kilian, the frosty snowman. Frost is coating his long black eyelashes and nostrils, and his skin is an ashen pale color. I guess it was possible for demons to get cold— but why was he here? How the hell had he even survived my ice blast? I mean, this might've happened because of him in the first place. My ice took control after our kiss so I wouldn't put that idea past me. He needed to stay away from me and my lips— my feelings too.

His eyes are clenched shut as he trembles, muscles shivering intensely as I turn on my side. I reach out a hand, mesmerized by how innocent his face looks right now; but I decide against it. When I move to retract my hand, Kilian's hand shoots up and grasps mine.

"Continue." He murmurs against the trembling, eyelids opening to reveal glossy red irises. I'm entrapped and as always enchanted by the sheer intensity of his gaze. Was every demon as lucky as he was when it came to good looks? Probably. Would I grow feelings for every demon after I met them? Not likely. Kilian was a different breed— so peculiar and odd. Sadistic yet beautifully tortured himself. I needed to rid myself of all of this once and for all— I needed to finish the task at hand and find a way, a loophole out of the deal.

My hand slips out of his grasp and I can swear his eyes dim in disappointment, but I'm too busy standing up to comment on it.

"We have to get to the graveyard." I say, dusting snow off of myself. A gentle cool breeze caresses my cheeks and hair as I outstretch an arm to help Kilian up. He stares at me for a bit before accepting my hand, large figure towering over me; yet still shivering to the touch.

"I'll go check to see if everyone is alright— see if Varla took over healing the wounded men. Stay here, I'll be back soon." He mutters lowly but still in range of my hearing. I swallow and nod, thinking about the man that had put me in a trance— Callence. Was he alright? I'd never gotten the chance to heal him. Was I truly a trance or was it my hormones? Whatever it was, I shouldn't feel guilt. Whatever this was with Kilian wasn't even a thing— and it had to end.

My dad had trapped Kilian for years, and knowing that fact alone made it so much easier for me to not trust kilian. My dad's judgement was never wrong— not to mention that Kilian solely lives off of the torture and tricks he manages to lure people with. Innocent people.

The plan was to get through to the demon graveyard untouched and unbothered— and get the portal to open. If it's already opened, we go through it. He hadn't told me what the conditions were to go through it so I'm guessing you can just walk through it— but maybe that's just a fools hope. Demons are tricky creatures and maybe I'd gotten truly lucky to have one on my side— for now.

But for how long would he be on my side? Could I even trust his words? His promises?

I let out a breath as I prepare myself for this silent trek through the winter woods with Kilian, alone. Maybe I could practice my frost on our way there— make some snowflakes and send them zooming like Chinese throwing stars. Maybe I wouldn't even have to practice if we'd run into enemies— that would be plenty of ice use. After all, the witch who'd attacked king Atticus's warriors was still on the loose, and the bloodshed that followed them was a guarantee.

As I watch Kilian's back disappear amongst the ice glazed tents, my mind could only fathom one lingering question. As he runs his fingers through his crow black hair and brushed away loose snow, all I could think is one thing.

Would he be my ruining?

Would I let him be?

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