Going home to spend Thanksgiving with your boyfriend's family has likely been every girl's dream. Bonus points if your family gets along with his family so well, that the two separate family Thanksgiving's became one. Well, not bonus points for me, but perhaps for any straight girl who has always dreamed of finding the perfect man, settling down, and living in suburbia. That's never been a dream of mine, and frankly, dating a man has never been up to my specific preferences.

Yet, here I am. Bringing a boy home during the first year of college just to satisfy my parents turned into a long two-year relationship, and here we are partially into our senior year of college and still dating. God, I hope he doesn't propose—is it bad that I think that at least fifty times a day? Probably. No-no, it's even worse that I'm here wasting his time all because I'm not ready to come to terms with who I really am. I'm just... this is going to sound bad, but I'm just waiting for him to fuck up, okay?

Sadly, Sebastian hasn't, unless I just don't know about it. Although, there's no way he's not cheating—I mean we haven't had sex in...

Wow, I don't even remember the last time. That's how long it's been. I don't know how it all spiraled into this—into this whole facade of a life that I'm living. One little choice landed me here... or perhaps many agreements to going on dates.

"Vina," the blonde man calls as he maneuvers the shiny black Porche, "We're almost there," he informs me.

Sebastian's blonde hair flops messily to the side while he wears a thin cream sweater with a black leather jacket and light-wash jeans. I mean every girl practically drools over the man I call my boyfriend, and every time I have to fight the urge to pass him over willingly.

I nod silently in acknowledgment as I lean my head against the cold window wishing for my existence to magically diminish into nothing. I resist an irritated groan threatening to vibrate in my throat when Sebastian turns down the familiar long driveway of the Meleri estate. Yes, Sebastian's family is incredibly rich, and it makes me wonder why he's even going to college. I mean his trust fund would fund his entire life without any issues—and he'd probably manage to have some left over for his kids... Our kids? God, I don't know.

"Driving from the city always takes so damn long," Sebastian sighs, "Especially during the holidays," he adds as he unbuckles his seatbelt.

I admit that Washington, D.C—Though still a big city—still manages to be much more serene than the sleepless city of New York.

"Yeah I'm really tired," I murmur as I reluctantly unbuckle my seatbelt, dreading having to enter the Meleri estate and put up the smiley happy girlfriend front for his posh parents.

Sebastian chuckles, "I can tell,"

I purse my lips before exiting the warm car into the chilling cool air causing Sebastian to mimic my actions. He pops the trunk before grabbing our two suitcases while I stand with my warm arms hugging my body in the circular driveway with the familiar fountain in the middle. He rolls both of our suitcases up to the front door and into the warm large house that smells intensely of vanilla and pine.

"Seb?" the older woman calls from the kitchen.

Sebastian leaves our suitcases by the wide wooden staircase outlined by white pillars before leading us both into the large kitchen. Sebastian's mom stands over the steaming stainless steel stove while his dad sits at the kitchen island.

"Hey, there's our boy!" his dad's deep voice booms as his green eyes that Sebastian favors look up from his phone, "How was the drive?" he takes off his reading glasses and sets them on the counter.

"Shitty," Sebastian chuckles which causes his mother to hit him with the kitchen towel that was once resting on her shoulder, "Hey I'm just being honest," he holds his hands up in defense.

"You could've been honest in a mannered way," the blonde woman points out as her brown eyes give her son a disapproving glance.

His dad runs his fingers through his silvery blonde hair, "Kate you know you're not actually upset, given you just used the same exact term to describe the bread loaf you got from the store," he points out to his wife with lightness lining his tone.

Sebastian raises a brow, "You're using my slang?"

Kate rolls her eyes before glaring at her husband, "Seriously Liam?" she shakes her head before turning back to the stove.

"Good luck sleeping on the couch tonight," Sebastian jokes with his dad who only gives him an animated thumbs up.

Kate turns the stove off, "Vina, gosh I didn't even see you there," she says as she walks over to me, "Quiet this one is," she jokes before pulling me into a brief hug forcing my arms to stay stuck awkwardly by my sides.

"She's far from quiet trust me," Sebastian jokes as he walks to sit down beside his dad.

I force a warm smile, "Just tired from the trip down," I admit as if I didn't rehearse the line in my head multiple times.

"How's studying Behavioral Analysis going?" Liam asks, "I know it's gotta be somewhat challenging," he adds.

Kate nods, "But Vina's always been smart," she adds with her rose lips pulled into a smile.

I purse my lips, "Yeah, it's not too bad since it's senior year," I add.

Our conversation is cut short when we hear the front door swing open, "Avina?" I hear my mom's voice call.

Someone please strangle me.

I hear my dad deeply chuckle, "Valeria you don't have to yell so loudly,"

"In here!" I announce causing their footsteps to echo closer.

When my parents emerge into the large bright kitchen, they immediately pull me into a hug. Yes, I know they seem like the world's best parents—but our relationship only developed into this when I met Sebastian and I showed them that I was incredibly successful in my studies. Two things that they doubted I could do.

My mom's similar brown eyes analyze my appearance, "I assume school has been challenging? You look like you've been working hard," my mom pointed out, "Have you been keeping up with your skincare routine Avina?"

"Well, give her a chance to speak," my dad urged as he nudged her slightly, "All that matters is that she's close to getting her degree," he adds with a prideful smile.

Success really is the only important thing to them—it just has to somehow be in all areas of your life. Perfect skin, good grades, a nice boyfriend, well-rounded friends, a healthy diet—and the list practically goes on. I mean the standards they have are just so exhausting, but at the same time, I don't want to let them down.

"Yeah, that's all that matters," I reply dryly as I force a tight-lipped smile.

"Valeria—Lincoln," Kate addresses the brunette woman whose features mirror mine and also the raven-haired man standing next to her.

My mom adjusts her brown cashmere sweater, "Kate, how are you?" she asks with her red lips pulled into a grin.

"I'm good, but you won't believe what happened at the grocery store," she replies as she and my mom walk over to the stove where she's standing.

Liam motions my dad over, "Lincoln let's catch up... I got a well-aged bottle of scotch and cigars calling our names," he offers.

"What are we still in here for then?" my dad's deep voice chuckles.

I walk over to Sebastian who's staring down at his phone as the two men leave the kitchen to head toward the den in the basement.

"Want to watch the football game?" Sebastian asks as he looks up from his phone to meet my light eyes.

Does he actually think I want to watch the game—no. Every year it's the same answer, but I guess he always feels the need to continue to ask me.

"No, I'm actually going to go change out of these clothes," I admit hoping to find a moment for myself.

Sebastian nods as he rises from the tall barstool, "I'll be in the family room," he specifies with a smile before walking away.

Who knew people had a family living room and a formal living room? I mean what's even the purpose of having two? I shake the random thought from my head as I exit the kitchen before I get roped into a conversation with my mom and Kate. I grab my luggage and roll it upstairs to the usual room that Sebastian and I both occupy.

The plain guest room has a bed covered in fresh white linen sheets with two side tables on each side. Two windows sit above both the side tables while a bathroom and walk-in closet are placed to the side hidden behind dark wooden doors that match the floors, which easily contrast against the pristine white walls.

I set my luggage at the end of the bed before heading into the attached bathroom. I rest my palms on the cold white marble sink as I stare at my reflection in the large mirror displayed above the two sinks. My brown hair falls past my shoulders lining my sharp jaw as my light brown eyes stare intensely at the reflection of myself.

I furrow my brows when tears brim the edges of my eyes causing my hands to grip the counter beneath me. I don't know what's wrong, or maybe I do, and I just don't know how to fix it. Or perhaps it's now beyond fixing—maybe I'm beyond saving. Like I'm in a dark ocean crashing with heavy intense waves waiting for a lifebuoy to be thrown out to me from a yacht that holds all my hopes and desires. Except the yacht is gone—it disappeared years ago along with any hope of me being saved from this suffocating life.