Cayden and I ended up getting a hotel room, and since we were still in D.C during the holidays—only one room was available, which offered one giant king bed. After arriving at our room, Cayden asked me if I have a favorite type of food, and I ended up confessing to her that it was Chinese food. She ended up leaving to go pick us up some comfort food since she found a place that didn't close until twelve—while I decided to take a long hot shower. After turning the hot shower on, I searched the mini-fridge for a water but I ended up coming across some airplane bottles of Fireball. I took it as a sign considering I'd had an eventful night and shot the burning dark liquid back.

After the burning liquid settled I headed into the now steamy bathroom and stripped from my previous clothes. I shivered at the thoughts that accompanied the cream satin pajamas—how scary and fed up Sebastian seemed with me or the way his fist collided with the wall, which easily dented it. As I entered the steamy shower, it seemed to refreshingly wash over my tense body, maybe it was the whiskey roaming my bloodstream or the comforting R&B music I had playing in the background, but this shower single-handedly felt like the best shower I'd ever taken. The water pressure of the luxurious hotel bathroom combined with the hot water that managed to produce copious amounts of steam—though being rather normal for a relaxing shower, I managed to grow more fond of it with every second I spend washing myself clean of the overwhelming thoughts.

Yet, somehow my brain managed to inch back to Cayden. The way her tattoos coat her soft skin perfectly, or how her dazzling white smile—with two molars uniquely covered in gold and the other with a single diamond—the thought of her always seems to make my insides grow warm. How her dark eyes are outlined by her long wispy lashes that almost touch her perfect dark brows when she looks up. How comforting her skin felt on mine and easily sent goosebumps down my body. I lathered the white rag with my vanilla body wash before scrubbing my body softly, trying to be as gentle as I imagined Cayden would be.

Cayden.

Cayden.

She was all I could think about.

I know it was inappropriate and probably my post-break-up feelings, clinging to the first person that showed me an ounce of comfort or reassurance. Yet, having the privacy of the hot steamy shower to myself along with the huge hotel room waiting outside the bathroom for me, I couldn't help but think about Cayden. The thought of her standing in here naked with me managed to cause my body to grow insanely hotter—and it made me feel incredibly hungry, and not for the food that Cayden was bringing back to me.

I've touched myself many times, considering Sebastian and I hadn't had sex since we passed our first year anniversary. Even when we did have sex, I remember how rough he liked it—and how quick the act was with zero patience behind his efforts. Almost like his main goal was just to cum and be done fully, and every time after the act I was always left feeling unsatisfied and used. I would always allow myself this escapist fantasy of dreaming about someone much more feminine with soft hands and a caring yet encouraging voice that helped me come undone. I had always wondered what it felt like to orgasm at the hands of another person. I wondered how it felt to be admired as pleasure strikes your body due to someone else's soft and gentle touch continuously pushing you up the smooth rollercoaster called pleasure, which builds up just as quickly as it drops.

With my leg propped up on one of the lower shelves in the stand-up marbled shower, I begin trickling my fingers up my wet skin as I imagined Cayden's hands in place of mine. My nipples were already hard when my free hand began to twist and roll them, which caused an overwhelming sensation to shoot through my hot body—one that almost knocked me off my feet. The combination of the alcohol and smooth R&B music allowed my body to grow even more relaxed under my own touch. My smooth breasts were firm and soft in my hand as the suds covering them spilled onto my wet hand. My free hand skipped over my heat—like I imagined a teasing Cayden would do—before feeling the softness of my toned stomach under my touch. When my hand guided back down to my slick folds, I relished in my soft wet skin that managed to grow wetter with my arousal under my teasing yet soft touch.

I imagined Cayden was towering over me, looking at me with pure desire before thrusting her middle finger slowly into me while her other hand grips my hips in place. As I gently thrusted my own finger in, I imagined both our gasps so vividly filling up the steaming shower as she gently pumped in and out of my wetness. With the gentleness of it all, I found myself begging for more as if I wasn't in control of the pace or depth of the strokes—as if the imaginary Cayden in my head was truly in control of it all. My pace continued to remain slow before allowing myself to build up the momentum and naturally thrust a second finger in, growing almost knuckle-deep. I slowed my pace back down as I lifted my leg up for a better angle while resting my other hand on the slick shower wall for stability.

I began to rub my thumb over my throbbing clit which easily earned a gasp from my lips, instantaneously the imaginary Cayden in my head was vividly standing right in front of me—thrusting into me with a gentle slow pace as she gauges my reaction to her addicting touch. I imagined Cayden pressing my back against the wall, thrusting harder and harder into me with each stroke managing to grow deeper than the last to help push me fully over the edge. I pressed my wet hot back deeper into the cold wall as I practically felt her own fingers deep inside of me, and her heavy eyes staring down at me while her soft voice encouraged me to come undone. Even though none of it was close to real, I found myself moaning Cay Cay oh god Cay over and over again as though she was actually here with me, helping me reach my peak. The nickname I unintentionally used surprised even myself, but it managed to make me grow wetter with the intimacy that I found within my imaginary situation.

The tingles glided through my body as I finally came undone, not being able to take it anymore. The intense orgasm made me gasp and then pant breathlessly as my pussy throbbed with an aching sensitivity along with my hardened nipples. I slowly removed my fingers from my wet pussy, which easily sent another wave of pleasure throughout my hot trembling body. I spent the rest of my hot shower in pure pleasure, my body being extra sensitive to any physical sensations or touches as I sang and hummed the songs that played from the chill playlist that I previously put on.

I eventually decided to turn off the shower and wrap myself in a furry white towel provided by the hotel. I enjoyed the wave of goosebumps that covered my body when I stepped out of the shower into the foggy bathroom. I felt lighter... and like my skin was glowing beautifully from the intense orgasm I just experienced. Either that, or the immense weight that was taken off of my shoulders, Cayden was right—I wasn't happy, and I shouldn't care what everyone will have to say when they find out what happened.

I smiled slightly to myself at the thought of Cayden before grabbing another one of the white plush towels and wrapping my wet brown hair into it. I was about to slip on a new set of satin pajamas when I realized I'd forgotten the folded pile of soft clothes outside the bathroom on my silver suitcase. I sigh, nothing is worse than having to be met with extremely cold air conditioning when you're in nothing but a fluffy towel, but I decided that there was really no choice in the matter.

I opened the bathroom door while humming the familiar R&B song to myself that was playing lightly in the bathroom. I allowed some of the steam to exit the small bathroom before fully exiting into the dim hotel room. Though, my soft humming soon faltered when I noticed Cayden seated on the bed, which easily made me stop in my tracks with a surprised look displayed clearly on my face.