After Cayden and I's little argument, the last thing I wanted to do was talk to anyone. If we were being specific—what I really wanted to do was crawl into my bed and never come out again. Sadly, I couldn't do that since I needed to fill Jade and Jaci in on what I claimed happened last night with Griffin. Though, the hangover excuse that I used worked perfectly because they didn't pester me with too many questions and they weren't too surprised when I excused myself to my room after not even five minutes of stepping foot into our shared brownstone.

I took a long shower and changed into comfy clothes, but it still didn't wash away the slight heaviness that was looming over me. I spent hours wrapped in my blankets while I replayed everything that unfolded at Cayden's place, critiquing my own words that already had been said and wishing I would have said more. I think about all the what if's and how one tiny statement could have altered the course of our conversation. I even find myself regretting even discussing the whole thing in the first place, maybe things could've been more simple if I had just left. But the fact that I had to come to harsh terms with, was that Cayden's mind seemed to be made up, and perhaps nothing would've changed that. All the what-ifs in the world definitely wouldn't have changed that.

The time eventually comes to start getting ready for Sebastian and I's arranged meet-up to discuss everything, which makes me regret making the plans even more—at least for today, any day after today would've been better, given everything that just happened with Cayden is so fresh. I pull my now-dry brown long hair into a high ponytail, pulling out a few loose strands and not bothering to perfect the ponytail like I usually would. I slide on a brown sherpa half-zip crew neck before pulling on black leggings and white Nike socks with my usual brown short Ugg boots over top of them. I don't even think about makeup before reluctantly leaving the safe haven of my room. At least tomorrow is Sunday, so I still get to have a break from my normally hectic life, I just have to get this whole situation with Sebastian out of the way.

As I descend the stairs I notice through the open archway leading into the living room that Jade and Jaci are sprawled out on our black couch. Rudolph plays on the flatscreen mounted to the white wall while the two girls munch on popcorn and sip their white wine. I pass the front door and walk through the archway into the living room causing Jade's green eyes to land on me while Jaci pauses the movie.

"She's alive!" Jaci jokes as she stuffs more of the popcorn in her mouth.

Jade nudges her, "What she means is, we were worried about you," she said, "You seemed down earlier and—wait, did you just spend all day in your room?"

Jaci tilts her head, "Did something happen with Griffin?" she asked causing alarm bells to go off in my already heavy head, the last thing I need them thinking is that something is going on with Griffin, he's my cover and he helps everything remain normal.

"No-no, It's just everything with Sebastian," I admitted, but then I determined that wasn't enough, I mean I was really down earlier due to everything that occurred with Cayden, "And now my parents want to talk to me since they found out the break up is official,"

Jade's brows shoot up as she frowns slightly.

"Shit, I'm so sorry Vina," Jaci breathed out, "I didn't even think about Sebastian seeing my snap story,"

I shake my head, "I didn't expect you to, it's okay honestly—because we needed to have a talk anyways,"

Jade tilts her head, "Wait is that where you're going right now?" she asked causing me to nod, "I know it may seem hard or uncomfortable, but I'm almost positive you'll feel better after,"

Jaci nods softly, "It has to happen eventually, so you might as well go ahead and do it now," she added, "Especially if you want to pursue something real with Griffin,"

I resist the urge to widen my eyes at what she was hinting towards, even if this is all fake, it's way too soon to consider long-term plans, especially since I told Griffin I'd at least think about coming out, which I ended up deciding that I definitely should. However, right now that's the last thing I want to do—school is stressful due to finals approaching, my parents are already on my back, Cayden mentally drained me, and... well, I just don't need to handle something like that right now. Maybe I'll make it a New Years' resolution.

"I don't think I'm ready for anything long-term yet," I breathe out.

Jade purses her lips, "I figured, which is why you need to try rebounding with someone else before you get sucked into another relationship," she said, "I know it sounds crazy, but you are young, and you missed out on a lot in college due to being in a relationship—plus it'll help you get back out there and figure out what you like and don't like,"

Men. I don't like men.

I part my lips to decline her offer, but I find myself pausing. I do need a rebound actually—a real one too, given that things clearly aren't going to work out with Cayden and I somehow feel like I fell into a dark hole, maybe a rebound is what I need. Although I'll be rebounding with a woman, so I'll need to find my way around that preference when I'm out with J&J.

"Okay..." I trail off unsure of why I'm actually agreeing to this.

Jaci's brows raise as a smile grows on her lips, " Okay, as in you really mean it, or okay as in you're trying to get rid of us?"

"Okay as in I really mean it,"

Jade squeals, "Yes, finally—when's a day that you don't have classes?" she asks.

I tilt my head before answering, "Friday,"

Jaci claps, "Me too,"

"Guess I'll skip mine because we're going out Thursday night and I already know we'll have a killer hangover the next day," Jade concludes.

Jaci nods, "And if we don't find anyone suitable on Thursday then we can try again Friday,"

"Oh and Saturday!" Jade adds with a smile.

Oh no, what did I just get myself into?

"Do you guys think it'll be busy enough on a Thursday night to even find anyone?" I ask with a raised brow.

Jaci jokingly scoffs, "Do we? Vina we live in the sleepless city of New York, of course, it'll be busy enough," she laughs.

"Besides Thursday is Friday eve, which is basically an excuse to begin the weekend early," Jade points a finger at me with a wide grin.

I can't help the contagious smile that coats my lips, "Whatever you guys say," I shake my head before glancing down at my phone for the time, "I should probably go," I sigh as I look back up from my bright phone.

Both Jade and Jaci nod.

"Let us know how it goes," Jade adds.

"Oh and I'm thinking of making breakfast for dinner, how does french toast sound?" Jaci asked before she took a brief sip of her wine, "Or are you eating out with Sebastian?"

I internally cringe at the idea of eating out with him, it just gives off date vibes, and Sebastian and I's dates were far from interesting. We'd eat and catch up on each other's days before unconsciously picking up our phones and finishing off our meals. Excluding the past thought, I still couldn't think about eating while having such a serious conversation, one that's been stressing me out for the past week just thinking about it.

"No, I won't be," I answered her previous question.

Jade nods, "We could watch another Christmas movie too? How about Frosty the snowman?"

"J-bug seriously?" Jaci snickered.

"What? It's technically December third so I have every excuse to watch Christmas movies on a loop now," Jade argued, "Also we need to arrange a time to go see Christmas lights, decorate gingerbread houses, take Christmas pictures, decorate ornaments, go gift shopping, also—"

"Damn, let me get through the rest of my semester first," I joke.

Jaci raises her brows, "You only get to use that excuse for five more days since finals are this week," she reminds me.

I groan, "Don't mention it,"

"After finals, it's on Vi Vi," Jade declares with a stern look.

I roll my eyes playfully, "Okay-okay," I held my hands up in defense as I backed out of the living room, "I'll see you guys when I get back," I call behind me.

"See you!"

"Good luck!"

I exit the warm house and out into the cold New York air before walking toward the local café that Sebastian and I decided to meet at. As the sign reading Impresso Espresso Café grows closer, I feel an anxious pit dig deep into my swirling stomach. I let out a few deep breaths, which easily cloud up the cold air before heading into the quaint coffee shop.