Despite wanting to respond immediately with a yes, I held myself back. I was embarrassed by how much better I felt just seeing that she'd reached out. Cayden had fully taken over my mood to the point that she was in control of how I felt. Her rejection had completely thrown me off track and I was having a really hard time coping.

But I was at least working on it.

With her coming back, I felt like I didn't know what to do. Any progress I'd made trying to get over her felt like a waste because it was obvious that I wasn't.

The text also didn't make me feel any better. Can we talk? What did that mean? It sounded like a breakup text, which infuriated me. Clearly, Cayden didn't have any plans to speak to me, so the fact that she was going out of her way to end things felt so pointless. It was like she acknowledged how much I liked her and, after she'd changed her mind about how she felt about me, knew she had to formally break things off. It was embarrassing.

There was nothing about her text that suggested she missed me or wanted to make it work or that she was sorry.

I was tired of her controlling my mood and ruining my ability to date freely. If Cayden didn't want me, then I wanted to be free and be with other people. I didn't want to have to think about her. I wanted my life back.

Feeling suddenly emboldened, I pressed the call icon by her name. I listened to it ring for a little and then was surprised to hear the click, telling me someone had answered.

"Vina," Cayden said, her voice perfect. I almost softened, but I was so furious at her that it didn't work its way through. I felt like my rage was a way of taking back control. I was tired of not communicating, tired of being left in the dark, tired of thinking I knew what was going on and then completely being blindsided by Cayden's actions. I needed her to get her shit together. If anything, it would almost be a relief if she ended things because it'd mean a clean break and I could be with someone else guilt-free.

"Don't," I said. "What the fuck is going on, Cayden? How are you going to text me out of the blue after you basically ghosted me?"

"Can we just... can we meet up so we can talk?"

"If you are going to dump me—which I don't even think is technically possible since we never made it exclusive—then just do it now and quickly," I said. "I'm not waiting around for you. I won't tolerate being the person you call when you're lonely and horny, or when you decide you suddenly want to date again. I want consistency."

Cayden was quiet on the other end of the line.

"Just don't drag this out. If you're going to end things, do it now and I'll cope. But this weird in-between where there's a chance you could come back to me at any point is totally unacceptable. I am hurt and I'm tired and I don't want to play games with you."

"I—" Cayden said on the other end of the line. For once, it felt like I was the one in control. And I kind of liked it. I was tired of people dictating who I could be with or what I should do or how I should think about myself. If Cayden didn't want me, then fine—I'd find my own way. It didn't mean I was any less appealing. Hell, Kori seemed interested in me already and I wasn't even looking to date. There was probably a whole network I could explore.

I took a deep breath. Slow down.

I knew I was getting completely worked up when Cayden hadn't even had the chance to say anything to me. But it also felt fair that I got to be a little mad at her considering the circumstances. It seemed like things were going really well and then she completely dipped. It wasn't fair of her to do it to me and I wasn't going to pretend like I didn't care.

"Vina, I don't want to end things with you."

"Then why does it seem like you're about to?"

"Why do you assume I'm going to?" Cayden asked, nearly making me scoff out a laugh.

"What are you talking about? You haven't spoken to me at all in days. Like, not even a text. You completely iced me out after we had a great night together and then just never spoke to me again. And I was supposed to take that lying down?"

"Vina... it's." Cayden let out a sigh. "I'm really sorry. I am. I'd just prefer to have this conversation in person."

"I'm putting my foot down. Are you ending this?"

"No," Cayden said empathically. "I'm sorry it came across that way, but I really want to explain what's going on and it's easier in person. I want to see you. And I want you to see me, so you know I'm being genuine."

I let out a small sigh, feeling like I was about to be made the biggest fool on the planet. But I was also tempted to see what she had to say. I was in that middle ground of desperately wanting to be free of my crush—I either wanted us to be in it or I wanted to be completely out. Talking to Cayden would give me that answer.

The fact that she was saying she didn't want to end things barely registered. All I knew was that she'd finally reached out to me. I didn't really care about anything beyond that.

"Fine," I said, and then realized I was being too much of a pushover. "But I'm really serious, Cayden. If you're ending this just say that because I'm not doing this back-and-forth behavior anymore."

I heard Cayden sigh on the other end of the line, like it was ridiculous I would even suggest she wouldn't be interested in me and that she wanted to end whatever this is. It was probably easy for her to think what she did wasn't a big deal because she wasn't the one who'd been left in the dust.

"Can I come to your house?"

"What?" I asked.

"I want to come over," Cayden said.

"But my roommates."

"You told me you wanted me to see your place—"

"Yeah, when it seemed like you were into me," I said, shocked by my own boldness. But, with complete honesty, I was glad I said it. Cayden could come back into my life if she proved it was worth having her in it, but it didn't mean I'd let her off easy.

"I'm really sorry, Vina," Cayden said. "I really am. Just give me the chance to explain."

I sighed. "Fine, just come over tonight. I'll text you when it seems like my roommates aren't around and they won't see you."

The thought of Cayden in my bedroom made my heart pound. It was one thing for me to be in her space, but for her to be in mine felt really serious. It was also really serious and super risky—there was no telling what would happen if Jade and Jaci saw her. Luckily, it was Saturday night so the chance of them going out was extremely high.

But Cayden saying that and recognizing how important the step was to me meant something. She was showing a kind of willingness that I appreciated, even if sucked it'd taken her a bit to come around.

"Okay," Cayden agreed.

"Okay," I said.

"I'll see you later."

"Bye," I said and hung up, feeling more confused than ever.