I looked at Cayden, a little rush going through me at her asking me to go out with her. "An event? Where?" I asked.

"It's kind of out of the way, but it's with a different university—Cornell I think—and other company CEOs so there shouldn't be anyone there we know," Cayden said and I picked up on the implication of what she was saying immediately. Even though we were both laying there, naked, in the back of her car, we couldn't actually be together. Definitely not now, so soon after everything with Sebastian. Maybe not ever, if Cayden had any intention of maintaining a relationship with him.

I refrained from sighing, realizing Cayden and I really did get ourselves into hot shit. We absolutely needed to be into each other from this point forward, otherwise, it wasn't worth all of the sneaking around. We'd finally started to get settled into seeing each other and making it work, only to realize that was just the first hurdle.

But maybe we could make it work. Maybe we could just keep it a secret until graduation. Maybe it would all be fine.

It would've been easy enough for me to say no and stay home, knowing Cayden and I shouldn't be seen out together. Just us hanging out would piss off Sebastian, and if we went out together, we almost definitely couldn't act like a couple together. There would be no PDA, no looking at each other. No indication that we were interested in each other. But could we really do that? Could I really do that? The thought of being in a room, standing so close to Cayden but unable to touch her, hurt me deeply. It was unimaginable.

But, at the same time, I didn't want to say no. I knew it would be hard, but the thought of Cayden going without me hurt more. I couldn't imagine giving up the opportunity to be out with her, even if we'd most likely have to stay platonic.

Or maybe the indication that it would be with people from a different school meant that Cayden wanted us to act like we were together. Maybe she was also as desperate as I was for a chance to have a normal relationship and really date, without all of the strings and complications and pain.

"I want to go," I said. "But we'll need to go back to my house so I can change."

"We can do that," Cayden said and then looked at me, her dark eyes studying my face. She kissed me so softly and quickly, I felt a little flutter in my chest. I loved kissing like that. I loved having sex with her. I loved being with her—but a kiss like that felt like familiarity. It felt like being together. It felt right.

After carefully getting dressed in the back of the car, Cayden drove us back into the city. We kept our hands interlocked the entire drive home, Cayden kept one hand on the thick leather steering wheel and the other gently caressing her thumb against the skin of my hand. I wanted to live in that moment forever.

But I knew the moment would end eventually. We had to go back to the city, back to reality. We could only have our moments like that for so long.

"I'll order an Uber back to my place from yours," I said. "Just drive back to your condo."

"Are you sure?" Cayden asked, her voice so concerned that my heart melted a little bit. Sebastian never spoke to me like that. I didn't realize how much tenderness another person could offer until now. I always thought it was just something people wrote about in books. "I hate to think about sending you to ride home on your own after..."

I smiled a little bit. "It's okay, Cay," I said. "I'm not taking this as an indication that you're abandoning me after sex or whatever. It's just I think we should minimize the risk of my roommates seeing you. I knew you weren't going to be the one who offered to do it this way."

Cayden nodded. "Yeah, that's true." She turned to look at me. "I just... don't want you to think this is some sort of sex thing for me. Like I'm trying to keep you a secret or something."

"I don't feel that way at all," I said. "I understand our circumstances. There's a lot on the line for both of us—my friends, your relationship with Sebastian. It's hard."

She was quiet for a second and, in record speed, I went from feeling okay about everything to overthinking every little thing we'd said. In my mind, all of this felt worth it. I wanted to keep seeing Cayden, no matter how complicated. But would it become too complicated for Cayden? Would she get too scared?

I wanted to ask her about it, but I didn't want to get too much into it. We were just starting to build our relationship. We were still working on the foundations of trust and communication. And after how everything had gone down before with her shutting me down, I felt a little bit like we needed to take things at an even slower pace. We couldn't hit the gas and suddenly be confessing our love, we needed to see if this was really worth it first. Especially because our relationship was a huge gamble. If we went for it and it crashed and burned, there would be bridges burned in the process.

Cayden pulled into her parking spot and turned to me, a silent agreement passing between us that we'd kiss before getting out of the car. Something about it was so special. The more we got to know each other, the less hesitant I was about how I'd touch her or how I'd interact with her. I hoped that one day we'd reach a point where I could say anything to her without second-guessing myself. I wanted us to reach that point. And in a weird way, I felt like we would. I really believed it was possible for us. We just had to get over every other hurdle along the way.

"I'll be back soon," I said as Cayden and I got out of the SUV. "I'll just get changed and maybe eat something first?"

"Okay," Cayden said, smiling a little bit. She looked at me with a specific glint in her eye, something so warm and inviting that I'd started—embarrassingly—associating it with affection. If I was feeling bolder, I'd maybe even call it love.

I felt a little hesitant leaving, like I didn't want to be away from Cayden, but I knew I had to. And it'd only be for a little bit—we'd see each other within a few hours.

"See you soon," Cayden said, and I smiled, waving at her as I started my walk toward my Uber.

After grabbing dinner, I dug through my closet to find the perfect outfit. I ended up deciding on a white button-up dress with a black corset clinging tightly around it, illuminating my waist. I pulled on black calf high leather boots before curling my long hair into loose waves. As if sensing something was going on, Jaci materialized at my bedroom door.

"What are you up to?" she asked as I began picking out my perfume for the night.

"I'm..." I stopped myself, trying to think about how I was going to phrase it. "Some friends from my old study group are going out."

"Oh fun!" she said. "I'm glad you're getting out."

"I am too," I said, realizing I genuinely meant it—even if I was lying to my friends in the process. Maybe one day I wouldn't have to hide the truth from them anymore. If they were really friends, they'd accept me no matter what.

"Maybe you'll find a cute guy along the way," Jaci said, winking. I froze realizing I had no idea what I'd last told her about my dating history. Was I off again with Griffin? On? Did she think I was actively looking, or just not remember that I was seeing someone? I genuinely couldn't keep track of my lies anymore.

"Yeah, we'll see," I said, letting out an uncomfortable chuckle.

"I'll let you finish getting ready," Jaci said, walking off. "I'm off to shower and then go to a dick appointment."

"Fun, fun," I said.

"You know it," she called down the hall. I listened to her door open and then close, and then let out a small sigh of relief that she was gone.

I coated my face in light makeup and texted Cayden that I'd meet her at her place in a few if that worked for her. When I got the approval text, I felt a little rush of excitement. I couldn't help but smile as I rode in the Uber to meet her, my body still humming from the amazing sex we'd had earlier.

It seemed like both of us were feeling it. When I walked up to Cayden's condo building, she greeted me with a smile and the kind of kiss that took my breath away. She was dressed in light ripped jeans with a loose navy and white plaid button up, buttoned fully up with a white shirt peeking out at the dip of the shirt and up to her collar bone. Her face was bare and her long dark hair was down and staightened with a white beanie over it. She wrapped her arms around me, our bodies pressed together.

"Ready?" she asked.

"Yes," I said and she squeezed my hand.

The drive to the event didn't take us too far away from the Upper East since it was down over in East Village, which I'd only been to on a few ocassions, but I did seem to love this area.

"It's a speakeasy themed club, so it should be somewhat lowkey," she explained.

"Wow," I said. To my surprise, Cayden reached out for my hand as we walked toward the club. We didn't let go, even as we walked inside where people would definetly be able to see us.

"Cayd!" one voice yelled out and ran over.

"Hi, Josie," Cayden said with a smile.

"And this must be Vina," Josie said, looking at me. "Cayden literally won't shut up about you, but I get why now—you are as pretty as she says."

A hot blush formed at my cheeks and when I looked over, I realized Cayden was blushing too. I'd never, in my entire life, had someone approach me like that. None of Sebastian's friends greeted me that way. None of Sebastian's friends even acted like they knew who I was before I met them.

"Is that Cayden?" another voice said and they cut around the corner of the entrance to the club. I tensed immediately when I saw who it was.

Zera.

"Hi, Zera," Cayden said.

"Hey," Zera said and then looked at me. "Oh, hey Avina."

Cayden looked between us. "You two know each other?"