No...no way.....this couldn't be real.......

No....no way....this couldn't be happening......this can't be real.....I felt my legs collapse as I looked up at the inevitable truth hanging in front of me. Ouma.....his friend.....his crush.....the person who depended on him to save him from the trauma of his life.....was dead. It wouldn't register in my head I kept trying to find some way to avoid what was right in front of me as I got up to see him. Ouma...I couldn't bear to see him like that so I ended up grabbing a ladder to untie him and laid his body on the couch covering his head with my jacket. I grabbed also one for Maki before sitting back down"

"Ouma.....I'm sorry......I'm sorry for everything.....I'm sorry for being so stupid as to not tell you what you meant to me.....I'm sorry for not helping you with your home life even when I knew they were nearly killing you....I'm sorry for being so dense about your feelings and not even staying to talk about them....I'm sorry for not even bothering to listen to what you were trying to tell me....or trust you....and all those awful things I said to you.....when I promised I would save you...you didn't deserve this...." I mumbled I could feel tears streaming down my face.

-1 Week Later-

Why am I even coming here....the funeral for Ouma was in a few hours yet I felt compelled to come back to the warehouse, I still had no idea though.

All the people who made this their home are gone now.....I realized opening the large door as I walked around trying to find anything that could tell me more about him. More of a reason as to why he did what he did.

Maybe I am just being crazy....I thought to myself. I think everyone was going a little in our class the day after it happened when Tsumugi was arrested and Ms Yukizome had to tell the rest of the class Maki and Ouma weren't coming back. Honestly I think Kaito is suffering the most right now.

I sighed till I noticed a large envelope on the table in front of the couch along with things being covered on top of with a box.

What...? I lifted the box to find a small letter, what's this from?

,

.

What the he**? I couldn't believe what I was reading, Ouma...how long have you been carrying this burden....how long has this person been deceiving you? .....Is Tsumugi part of the reason your no longer with me.....? With us....? Or was it all me?

I gathered up the envelope and began walking down to the funeral.

-/-/-

"Hey....Shuichi...." I turned around to see Kaede as I just stared at the grave that belonged to Ouma "yeah?" Kaede hugged me.

"You better not try to bear this burden alone, got that?" She told me and I looked at her, he did it...he suffered of that....so shouldn't I deserve at least some punishment for my actions?

"It's my fault, it actually is my fault I said so many messed up things to him...and none of them were even true" she sighed "I know but....do you really think he would want you to end up like him Shuichi? Do you really think any of us would be able to stand losing you after we already lost two of our friends? Kaito's barely hanging on by the thread" I looked down ashamed.

Maki....I wonder if she's ok....wherever she is... "still....I can't help feeling like that" I noted confessing some of my feelings that I had tried to ignore for the past week.

"Shuichi your not the only one who was at fault....we all are.....all of us knew what Ouma was going through but were to scared to talk about it...we didn't let him talk about his feelings...and when Maki was acting strange when Ouma came to our school we didn't ask...we didn't manage to dven make him know how much they mattered to us....so much so they probably would think that we wouldn't care if he died....I am just as much to blame as you"

No.....you didn't deliever that final blow...

"Thanks..." I said and Kaede nodded "any time....and if you ever need to talk to someone I'll be there ok?" I nodded. It feels nice though....knowing I'm not alone...I wish...I made you know that Ouma....

-/-/-

"Hey Ouma why do you drink so much Panta? Don't you realize how unhealthy that is?" I scolded him and Ouma stuck his tongue out at me, "don't insult my holy water Saihara Chan!"

"Still really thats the only thing you EVER drink can you at least explain why you like it some much?"

"Fine fine....so back when I was in elementary my Dad beated me to a pulp cause he was drunk as f*ck and I ended up having to go to the hospital, at the time I was so done with life to be honest. I think I would have just given up if it weren't for them...." Ouma seemed pained by the memory.

"I'm sorry....you don't need to talk about it if you don't want to" Ouma shook his head "no this is a nice memory for me....anyways so while I was at the hospital Chiasa came, she honestly was like a sister to me, and she noticed how sad I was and then she gave me a bottle of Panta"

"Huh? Why?" I asked and Ouma grinned "she said that the Panta was happiness, and as long as I was with them I would only continue to receive happiness....and ever since then nearly every single day she would give me a bottle of Panta...it was like our thing....it was like despite everything going wrong for us we could still have happiness..."

"That sounds really nice Ouma" I said, "well I could be lying" I groaned "Ouma!" Ouma laughed.

Everyone had already left the cementary and I grabbed a bottle of Panta out of my bag and placed it on Ouma's grave. I hope wherever you are is bringing you some happiness.....

I turned away and walked home, and I couldn't help but wonder what if Tsumugi never sent that letter to Ouma....what would have happened if he believed the lie that his friends deaths were accidents....I wonder....if he would be standing beside me right now....