"How are you feeling kidda?" Ant asked concerned as he stood in the doorway of the Kenyan hotel,watching his best buddy unpack his suitcase.

"I'm ok actually" Dec smiled "I'm really looking forward to meeting all the kids,maybe this trip won't be as heartbreaking as we're expecting"

"Sadly,I think it will be Decs" Ant sighed "that's how these things work.If they don't tug on the heartstrings,then no one will donate to Comic Relief,I have a feeling we're about to be very humbled"

Comic Relief had been going for many years now,raising millions of pounds to help the poor in Africa and at home.Hundreds of celebrities had done their bit to raise money for the charity event that was televised every other year,now it was Ant and Decs turn.

They were being sent to check out a school where all the children were orphans who's parents had died of AIDS.The school had been paid for by money raised from Comic Reliefs fundraisers of previous years.

"I know you're right" Dec replied "I'm just trying to put it all to the back of my mind,until tomorrow at least anyway"

"Yeah,me too" Ant nodded "come on,shall we go downstairs for a bite to eat?"

"Yeah sounds good,I'm starving" Dec smiled.

Ant looked at Dec awkwardly.

"I...I mean I'm hungry" Dec stuttered,this trip was already proving to be difficult with knowing the right thing to say.

"Sorry" Dec mumbled "I'm obviously not starving,don't know why I said that,I hope I'm not stupid enough to say anything like that in front of the locals"

"Don't worry Decs" Ant smiled and moved forward to place a reassuring arm around Dec "it's just a figure of speech,everyone says it back home"

"Maybe they shouldn't" Dec sighed.

"Come on" Ant replied "let's go and get some dinner"

The next day,Ant and Dec and the film crew were picked up early by their drivers to be taken to the school where the orphaned children were being taught.

"How are you feeling Decs?" Ant asked concerned.

Dec was staring blankly out of the car window as the areas they were driving through got poorer and poorer.

"Ok" Dec lied.

The truth was,he was terrified.Terrified of what he was about to see,terrified of how he would feel,terrified of how he would react.He wasn't sure he'd cope with it all,but he knew he had to hold it together,he wasn't here to film his own suffering,not that his compared remotely to any of the kids he was about to meet anyway.

After a long,dusty,uncomfortable drive,Ant and Dec arrived at the school to be met by a large group of enthusiastic kids and their teacher.

As the boys entered one of the classrooms,they were greeted with loud cheers and beaming smiles from the children inside.

This immediately lifted Ant and Decs spirits and the infectious smiles on the faces of all the youngsters soon had the pair forgetting their worries for a while as the students sang a sweet song they had prepared to welcome ther visitors.

Ant and Dec were given a tour of the school which taught two hundred and fifty students and were shown exactly where the generous donations from the British public had been spent.

They were then introduced to a four year old student,Darren.

Ant couldn't resist giving the boy a cuddle as Dec watched on.

"You're a little cutie aren't ya?" Ant grinned,while holding the boy on his lap "do you like coming to school?"

"He said he loves it" the teacher translated Darrens answer into English "and his favourite subject is maths,he likes adding up"

"Ah,you're a smart little fella" Ant laughed "maybe you can show me and Dec how to do it?we could do with a bit of help in that area"

Darren nodded happily as Ant bounced him up and down on his knee.

Ant and Dec left the school soon afterwards feeling rather happy.It hadn't been at all depressing or upsetting like they had been expecting.Of course it was devastating that these kids had lost their parents,but the actual visit had been uplifting and inspiring.

The boys had loved the kids enthusiasm for learning and every day was an adventure into what new things the kids would learn,the childrens faces glowed with excitement just from being there in that school.It did make Dec think back to his early school days,wondering if he had been quite so into it,Anne said he loved school when he was little,but he couldn't really remember.

He had been lucky to have had a loving family to go home to when he finished his school day,but he had no idea what these kids went back to once they finished theirs,but he and Ant were about to find out.

The next visit of the day was to talk to a woman who lived in one of the countrys many slums,this was where reality was really about to set in.

Ant and Dec were introduced to Emily and the thirteen children that lived with her in one small room.

Dec was already battling to hold back the tears as he and Ant chatted to her,he couldn't let his defense weaken now,what would Emily think of this weird foreigner standing crying in her home?he couldn't possibly let that happen.

Emily explained that three of the children were her own and the other ten belonged to her two sisters who had also perished from the same evil disease that was blighting the country.

She was bringing up all thirteen children single handedly.

Through a translator,Emily explained how everyone had to squeeze in and sleep on the floor and how the children often went to bed hungry.

"How do you feed the baby if there's no milk?" Dec asked curiously.

"If there is no milk,I have to give her only water" Emily said.

"Wow" Ant shook his head in disbelief.

The trio continued to chat about Emily and the childrens lives and living conditions.Ant and Dec were getting considerably sadder at what they were being told.

"In your country" Emily continued "do children like this go to bed hungry?"

Ant shook his head "no"

"Where you come from" Emily continued her line of questioning "do children like this sleep on the ground?"

"No" Ant repeated.

Ant could see that Dec was struggling with what he was witnessing,Ant was too,but as usual,he knew he had to be strong for Decs sake,not that he really had to be,but he wanted to be,Dec had been really worried about what he would see,so Ant had to be there when those feelings inevitably bubbled to the surface.

After a few more minutes,Ant and Dec thanked Emily for inviting them into her home and said their goodbyes.

The boys were then filmed just outside her tiny house and Ant explained how embarrassed he was by Emilys questions,they brought home just how great his and Decs lives back in England were and how their problems just didn't exist compared to the struggling people in Africa.He had been embarrassed to even reply to her questions,he and Dec had never felt such shame in their lives.

"I just need a minute" Dec mumbled as he made his way to the edge of the small hill where Emilys shack stood,overlooking the rest of the slum area.

"No worries kidda" Ant smiled as he sat down on a step to wait for his friend "take your time"

As Dec looked out over the slum in disbelief,he couldn't hold it in any longer.As much as he tried to,the tears had a different plan as they spilled out of his eyes and made a sad,desperate trail down his sunkissed cheeks.

Dec really didn't want to be doing this,he knew he was still being filmed,what good was he to Emily or anyone else here if this was his reaction?but he couldn't help it.

What he had seen today had affected him badly,he wished he could be stronger and not wear his heart on his sleeve for everyone to see,but he'd always been sensitive,so having to cope with everything that he'd been shown today hit him harder than even he could have imagined.

He sniffed several times and wiped his tears away on the sleeve of his beige shirt,why the hell hadn't he thought to bring some tissues?

He eventually made his way back over to where Ant was waiting patiently for him and took a seat next to him on the hot,stone step.

"You alright?" Ant asked.

Dec wiped his eyes with his hand again before replying "it's far worse than I imagined"

"Aye" Ant replied,not really knowing what else he could possibly add.

"I just don't know how anybody can cope like that" Dec sighed.

The boys sat in silence for a few more minutes,gazing out over the slum.Each of them focussed on their own separate thoughts about where they were and what they had seen.

"I think I'd like to go now" Dec whispered quietly.

"Yeah,me too" Ant nodded "the driver is waiting for us over there"

Ant nodded towards the car "he's ready when we are"

Dec stood up without another word and made his way to the vehicle with Ant following a few steps behind.

The journey back to the hotel was eerily quiet.

Usually after a day working,the boys would chat about everything they'd done that day,but this was different,neither of them wanted to talk about the day,not just yet anyway,so they both stared in silence out of the window the whole way back,both lost in their individual thoughts.

They were both actually having pretty similar thoughts,except Ants concerns were also for Dec as well as the people he'd met today.He knew it would be affecting him deeply.

He and Dec had done all they could for the Kenyans they'd met,although they still had more places to go and people to meet tomorrow,hopefully their trip and subsequent report for the charity would make people put their hands in their pockets,they usually did anyway,millions of pounds were always raised on these televised fundraising nights,that was a given,so Ants immediate concern as they were dropped off at the hotel was now for Dec.

Ant followed Dec uninvited into his hotel room where Dec threw his key down onto the bed,took one look at Ant and fell to the floor sobbing.

Ant rushed to his side,sitting down on the floor and pulling his distraught friend into his arms,holding him tight,running his fingers through his sweaty hair and kissing him comfortingly on his forehead.

"It's ok Decs" Ant whispered into Decs ear,burying his face into Decs hair as he swayed very slightly back and forth with Dec crying uncontrollably in his arms "it's ok"

Ant held Dec in his arms for the longest time,Ants tears joining Decs in their desperation.He didn't care how long they sat on the floor like this for,if it was what Dec needed,then he would sit there for hours if necessary.

Eventually after what actually was the best part of an hour,Dec finally pulled back from Ant slightly.

"Sorry" he mumbled tearfully.

"Hey" Ant cupped Decs tearstained face in his hands and looked straight into his damp,swollen eyes.

"You have absolutely nothing to apologise for Declan" Ant smiled gently.

Dec nodded sadly,even though he disagreed with Ants statement,he didn't have the energy to argue his point,not just yet anyway.

"Can we at least get up off the floor now?" Ant smiled "got a kind of numb bum from sitting here so long"

Dec laughed gently and attempted to hold back any further tears that were doing their best to escape,as they were now actually hurting his eyes.

He got up and kicked off his shoes before flopping down onto the king sized bed,propping the pillows up behind his head.

Ant followed suit by doing the same.He sat next to Dec on the bed,deliberately moving in close so Dec could feel his touch.

Ant nudged Dec gently with his elbow "tough day eh kidda?"

Dec nodded silently.

"Well,I'll just stay here for now then" Ant smiled.

"What for?" Dec frowned.

Ant turned towards Dec and looked into his eyes affectionately.

"Until you're ready to talk!"