The half moon in the sky doesn't bring any comfort to me as I sit on my bed, staring at the black screen of my phone. Waiting for a phone call which I'm expecting. From the window the moonlight is shining down but it's so faint that it's like it's not even there at all. Every so often I would look up at the moon and wonder if she is looking at it like I am. That we might be looking at the same moon at the same time. Like if it were fate. Still, I think that she's asleep by now.

Lila has always been the one that goes to sleep early but whether she is asleep now or awake is another deal for the night terrors are trying to tear her apart. My phone finally rings and I'm quick to answer. "You're really trying to press my limits" I speak and her laughter can be heard. I had told Sylvia to keep an eye on Lila and be her therapist and make sure that I can see her. A far-fetched plan but there is nothing that I wouldn't do to be with the woman that I love.

"No. You're just impatient. As always. You really need to work on that. I can show you some methods that you can do. Yoga is an excellent way to work on it" She says and laughs. I roll my eyes. "I'm good" I speak and then wait for her to tell me the news but when she only laughs and doesn't say anything I start to grow impatient again. "How did it go?" I ask her. "She's in" She tells me, finally. I find the happiness burst inside me. I'm finally going to meet Lila after so long, I need to see her and I need to feel her skin against mine and I need to hold her.

I will not be complete without my other half and I need her to be able to live but it is so much deeper than that. She is my life and she is my world. If I cannot have her then there is nothing to live for. "Good" I speak into the phone as I stand up and walk over to the window and look outside at the moon once again. It's somehow calming and yet it's like it mocks us down here. Up there it's untouchable and no one can hurt it.

"She is going to open up when you're there. But you have to remain calm. The state that she's in is fragile. I have seen how she flinches every time that someone comes up behind her or when a door is opened. She's scared and the things that she has been through are horrifying. Keeping your calm when she speaks will make the environment feel safer, and she will open up more" She tells me and I let out a sigh, knowing that the things that she will say tomorrow will make me angry.

Not at her. Never will I be angry at her. But at that bastard for what he did. Betrayed me and hurt her in ways that no one deserves to be hurt. "It's going to be hard on her and talking about it is going to be difficult for her. With you there, she might feel a sense of safety but once she will begin to speak she will start to remember and her body will react to that. Her mind will paint a picture all around her. She might react in bad ways" She then says.

I freeze. "Bad ways?" I ask her. Lila would never hurt anyone, except for stabbing someone but that is beside the point. Her heart is so pure and so golden that she would not do anything bad. "When memories and reality get mixed, people go blurry and all she sees is the memories. She will be there, and she will be reliving it all over again. The pain and the trauma will have her in shock, and she might fight us or back away from us" She tells me. I let out a loud breath. The fact that Lila has to go through all that is just wrong on so many levels.

All I want to do is take away her pain and feel it myself, spare her this pain and agony. I would rather feel it then have her feel this and I never wanted her to get hurt. I failed her in so many ways. I was not there to protect her. "The good news is that we are there for her. She needs to know that. We can't tell her that we're there, we have to show her that we are. Words will not matter to her as her mind needs to feel it, feel the safety around her" Sylvia says.

Sylvia has dealt with a lot of people that have suffered through trauma and have been through a lot. Some are soldiers from the army while others are people that have been through kidnapping and things like that. She knows how people react and she knows body language. She has used that on me many times when I'm in her sessions. "She will. I will be there for her every step of the way" I tell her and that is a promise that I made to myself.

I'm going to be by Lila's side and helping her through this. Whatever it takes, I will make her life better. I will be there even when they try to drive me away, even if she tries to drive me away. I will stay by her and be there for her when she needs someone. After I had spoken those words she goes over the plan so that I can actually be in that session when it does happen. In only some hours I will be holding the angel in my arms and I will have her by my side. Just a couple of hours.