My nightmare chased me to my reality and what I feared the most happened. Hoon is gone. I expected for this day to come and give myself time to prepare for it. But I never truly know the pain it would bring me, the sorrow, how much it would hurt me, how sad it would make me, and how lonely I would get until it was here smiling at my suffering.

I yearned for Hoon, I missed him, his face, his breath, the warmth of his body that spilled on me while we're in bed together. Everything about him.

My dead husband's scent clung on our bedsheets which I refused to let go, I continued to sleep on the same bedsheet for days even after the servants begged me to let them change it.

I locked myself inside the room and disappeared from the world. I let my sorrow devoured me even when I heard the soft rustles of prince Julong's quiet footsteps hovered outside my door. I knew he wanted to talk to me, he wanted to see me, and comfort me, without really knowing how to approach his grieving sister in law. I ignored him. It had been a very long time since we spoke to each other and not even my desire for him was enough to lift me from my sorrow.

My cries echoed inside the room unable to stop them. For days and nights that was all I did until my door opened one evening. Someone brave enough came to check on me. I lifted my head to my intruder trying to see who it was but the tears from my eyes made my vision blurred.

For a moment I thought it was Hoon who came back to take me with him, but I soon realized it was the new emperor who stood at the mouth of the door. I nearly forgot how Hoon and Yuan resembled each other so much that they may as well be twins. Emperor Yuan strolled soft quiet footstep as he walked toward me.

He crouched and pulled a kerchief from his robe, dabbing it along my eyes and cheeks, drying my face from tears. "I'm sorry, Jasmine, I can't stand listening to your cries anymore." He murmured softly with his unfamiliar voice. It was hard to believe he's the same frightening person who never paid attention to me all these years.

"I'm sorry, your highness. I'll try not to be so loud." My voice cracked from days of crying and without speaking a single word.

He put away the cloth and stared at me for a mere moment as though he was trying to consider a thought. He sighed, "by all means, Jasmine. You're allowed to grieve, but I simply could not concentrate in my chamber and carry on with my work with you like this."

I fell quiet, thinking I was in trouble, but instead of reprimanding me, emperor Yuan slid his arms beneath my legs and behind my back, lifting me from the corner of the floor. He picked me up like I was something so weightless and carried me out of my dark chamber and to his own.

Emperor Yuan sat me on the elegant chaise pressed on the side of his work table. I would've imagined his room to be filled with gold and luxurious items when it turned to look like another office with a bed in the middle for him to sleep in. His master chamber is another workroom.

Yuan picked up the kettle of tea that's been on his table and filled a spare teacup. He walked over handing it to me. "Here, Jasmine. Have some tea, the warm liquid should calm you a little. I imagined you're dehydrated from days of crying and you haven't had a decent meal."

"I'm not hungry, your highness." I murmured against the teacup pressed on my lips.

"Even so, you need to eat. I will have one of the servants bring you some food."

I said nothing when he walked back to his work table and took a seat, he dipped his nose back on the parchment he's working on and began scribbling. He left me sitting on the chair like a child who couldn't be left alone.

I figured this was his way to get me to stop crying. If he was to bring me with him, I would be uncomfortable enough to mind my cries.

"Get some rest for now, Jasmine. You haven't slept in days. I'll wake you up once your food is here." He murmured after a long silence.

I got up from the chair, still barefoot as I strode over to his door on my way back to my chamber when he groaned without as much as looking over his shoulder. "No, don't go back to Hoon's bedroom. I don't want you in there alone. It won't do you any good if you were to continue isolating yourself."

I turned back over to him confused, wondering where he wanted me to sleep instead. The hallway?

"Sleep in my bed." He continued. "I won't do anything to you, but it would be best if I could keep an eye on you this evening."

My eyes glided over to his luxurious bed overwhelmed with hesitation. I began to speak as I searched my thoughts for an excuse not to lay on his bed when he interrupted me.

"This is not a request, Jasmine. I want you to get some rest this evening."

I quickly looked at him with his wide back turned to me, then back on his bed. I did nothing more than crawl up to the foot of his bed and lay crouched like a newborn baby in a fetal position.

It didn't take long before I fell asleep. I had no idea how tired I really was until I closed my eyes and let sleep claimed me. I was asleep within seconds.