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Imagine you are sitting in a room you've come across for the first time. Your butt is placed on what could be labeled as the most comfortable mattress in town. And you want to sleep there because like all the nights you couldn't get proper sleep.

But you can't sleep no matter how much every organ of your body is begging you to because you have a guy named Lucas with you and has just gone outside for 'a minute'. And you can't sleep on him. So you try to wake your senses up and watch the walls that only add up to your depression because they are the same colour as your shit.

So you sigh multiple times and hope the clock magically ticks to eight so that you can get over with this family dinner that you're invited to. You don't want to be here, not even a minute more because all this room reminds you of is a certain day when you will have to sleep here. And not just a day but everyday after that day.

You want to turn around and look at those frames placed on the wall behind but your body is not supporting you. You want to look around on the shelves and find out more about the person you have to spend all of your left over life with but your neck refuses to move and stays there even if that means watching a wall as brown as shit.

What would you define such a situation as?

Calling it awkward would be an understatement because you have only imagined it but I have faced it. And I will not call it awkward, because it was a lot more than that.

Things turned a hundred times more fiddly when I heard the door open and Lucas came back still smiling at me.

"Sorry it took me long."

"Nah, it's okay." I really enjoyed starring at your wall.

He sat down beside me on his bed, the smile never leaving his face. I kept staring at the wall, giving occasional glances to him. It felt like he wanted to say something but he couldn't.

After bearing the uncomfortable silence for what felt like a whole hour, I didn't know when my eyes dropped and I fell asleep. Lucas sighed, loud enough for me to get alarmed. My eyes snapped open and I twisted my neck to look at him.

"Okay. . . umm. . . Sophie, you- uh- Mom and Dad. . . uh. . . I-I-" Lucas kept muttering under his breath but I stopped him.

"I do not get a single word of what you're saying, Lucas."

"Don't freak out, okay?"

"Your expressions are freaking me out Lucas," I stated, my heart going wild because I had an idea whatever he was about to say was drastically horrific. I reckoned it was about the marriage and I needed to know whatever decisions his Mom and Dad had made for me. "Lucas, please tell me," at my pleading tone he nodded.

"Carter is going to be here today. I swear I didn't know at all about this! I just got to know. Mom and Dad want to meet Carter as Amber is totally involved with him and so he's going to be here today. I think he has already arrived." At his words a flash of relief passed over me.

But it was short-termed. "What? How? This-I don't know what to say. Lucas, is he here?" My heartbeat quickened at the mention of Carter and I couldn't help but imagine all the scenarios that ran in my mind.

Facing him after I told him off was even harder than telling him off. And that was exactly what I was afraid of. "Hey, its fine. Just be natural. He might already be here Sophie. You don't-" before he could complete what he was saying, a knock was heard on the door.

Lucas retreated his hand from top of mine as he stood up to walk towards his door. Amber came inside the moment Lucas opened the door. And like I expected, Carter was next to follow. Out of the whole house Amber chose to come to her brother's only. How shitty of my luck.

Carter looked around the room, his eyes exploring all of Lucas' room before his eyes landed on me. "Hi Sophia!" Amber greeted, making me snap my eyes away from Carter and to her.

"Uhm. . . Hi," I replied looking down at the wrinkled bed sheet as I inserted the stands of hair behind my ear.

"Carter," Lucas nodded at Carter who stared at him like he had lost his mind.

"So, I thought why don't we all hangout together? Like we could kill time before the dinner starts, right?" Suggesting, Amber looked at all three of us expectantly.

"I really don't think it's a good idea, Am-" I started to say but then stopped when I registered that Carter was walking towards the bed.

"Let's play, Sophia," Carter pressed as he sat at the corner of the bed while smiling sickeningly at me. I turned my head towards Lucas who was still standing near his door and pleaded to somehow stop this.

"I guess we'll play some other time, Amber. You can show Carter around the house maybe?" Lucas tried talking Amber out of it.

"I already showed him the whole house. Plus it's good we all start hanging out together now. Come on, let's play you kill joy!" With that Amber dragged her brother along with her and sat beside Carter. Hesitantly, Lucas sat beside me too.

"Let's play truth and dare!" Great! Just great!

Lucas and Carter nodded in agreement. Without even asking me, Amber produced a bottle from god knows where and placed it before us. "Carter, you start! This part of the bottle is question and this one is answer." She showed to us different sides of the bottle.

Carter's hands reached out to the thing and he circulated it. The bottle after taking several rounds came to a stop. A sigh left my mouth when none of its corners landed on me. Amber was to question Lucas and I thanked Jesus I wasn't going to be involved yet. "Truth or dare, brother?"

"Truth."

But I thought too early. Because Amber's question multiplied the amount of uncomfortableness in the room.

"How many kids do you plan to have." I can swear my face would've looked like I had swallowed a bird alive. Both Lucas and I stared at each other. There was a horrified expression on Lucas' face as he stared at me with wide eyes.

"God, you guys are acting like you never talked about it." I gulped staring ahead of me, leaving Lucas to handle it himself.

"Umm. . . I don't know. Whatever Sophia likes," he answered making me glare at him.

"It was a question for you and you've to answer it." Amber argued. Lucas started calculating something on his fingers and I couldn't help but blink rapidly at him. What exactly is in his mind?!

"Five." He answered after a minute making me snap my head at him. Okay, kids are good, but five? Five? To say I was blushing would be a lie. I was red. Completely red.

"Move on to another round, babe!" Carter sounded, nudging Amber on the side. This time Amber shoved the bottle around and it's side landed on Amber and Carter. Another sigh of relief left my lips.

Like the last time Amber was to question Carter. "Truth or dare, Carter?" She smirked while speaking.

"Truth."

"Have you ever fallen in love?" I stared in between both of them feeling Carter's head turn in my direction.

"Yes I have. And it was the best feeling ever," with his eyes still on me, he answered.

"Who was the girl, Carter?" Amber's tone was more of a protective one than a curious one.

"It doesn't matter. She didn't care," Carter replied shrugging his shoulders. Amber, being his girlfriend interlined their hands and rubbed his upper hand.

"She wasn't worth it Carter. And thanks to her because if she'd have cared, we wouldn't have been together today." Amber tried to comfort him which Carter replied with a smile. I knew how fake of a smile it was. I couldn't help but clench my fists at my helplessness. I cared. I was being punished for the whole of my life just because I cared for him.

Lucas was next to turn the bottle around. It landed on Carter and Lucas, again saving me from the torture. Carter was to question Lucas.

"Truth or dare?"

"Truth." Lucas being his careful self he was, chose the safe side.

"What's the favourite part of your body that you like to be touched at?" Lucas let out a loud cough, hearing Carter's question.

"What kind of a question is that bro?"

"A weird, sexual one." Carter replied shrugging his shoulders. This game was turning into something very ugly each passing question.

"Umm. . . what part of body. . . I-I umm. . . I think my abs." I could hear Amber snickering making me crack up into a smile. Lucas was totally red at that moment. "Now stop! Let's do another round." With that he swung the bottle around.

I watched as it moved round and round in circles, finally landing on Amber and me. I didn't have it in me to perform a dare so I went with the truth.

"How was your first kiss like?" I gulped, realizing I had to answer.

"My first kiss? Umm, uh- it was. . . an all of a sudden thing. Like it was in a library but was the best thing ever. I kind of didn't feel anything because I was still in the shock. It was weird but in a good way. My first kiss was crazy but great and a thing I don't think I'll ever be able to forget," I ended, a smile making it's way up my lips.

When my eyes landed on Carter, he was shaking his head at God knows what with a little smile oh his face. "Okay, okay, next round."

Amber was the next to rotate the bottle. This time the bottle stopped between Lucas and Carter. "Truth or dare?" Lucas questioned, with a smirk lining his features as if he was to take the revenge of Carter's question from earlier.

A determined look passed over Carter's face as he smirked back in reply. It was like he already had his plan formulated. "Dare," Carter's reply came, the smirk stretching further onto his face.

Lucas' smirk on the other hand fell and his expressions were replaced with a frown. He thought for a moment before daring Carter. "Sing a song for your partner." I had expected him to dare him for some task difficult to do.

"You were the shadow to my light, did you feel us?

Another star you fade away.

Afraid our aim is out of sight wanna see us? Alight.

Where are you now? Where are you now? Was it all in my fantasy. Where are you now? Were you only imaginary.

Where are you now? At-" Carter stopped, his eyes catching mine for a mere second before snapping towards his arm where Amber had her head rested. "I'm here, Carter. I'm here," she let out patting Carter on his chest.

I gulped, unable to keep my emotions to myself as I clenched my fists. "Let's get over with this game. How many rounds more to go?" Instinctively, the words left my mouth.

"Until we aren't called for dinner," Amber replied reaching out for the bottle as she wheeled it. It landed on me and the opposite side of it stopped at Amber. She was to question me again and I had already braced myself for one of her hard questions because opting dare wasn't a wise thing.

"Are you afraid of death?"

"No." I was fast at replying. "I'm not afraid of death. In fact I find it quite interesting. You get peace from this monstrous world. You don't get any diseases anymore. You're eased from pain and torture. This world is not any better than hell. And I'm not afraid of death. Not even a bit."

"Yeah. You're kinda right somewhere but even the thought of being buried scares the shit out of me," chuckling, Amber replied.

I turned the bottle around when Amber asked me to as I witnessed it circling and finally landing on Lucas and Carter again.

"What is your biggest fear, Carter?" Lucas asked him.

"Losing people I get attached to," his eyes remained positioned on my hand where I had been wearing my supposed engagement ring. That ring was long forgotten but then Victoria demanded me to wear the thing because 'I was going to meet my in laws'.

With that, Lucas spun the bottle again. It came to a halt with one of its sides stopping somewhere in middle of Lucas and I, while the other one on Carter.

I was hoping they would consider it as Lucas and Carter again but life likes to torture me. I didn't argue because I knew it was if no use.

"Truth or dare?"

"T-truth."

"Do you love Lucas?" The question made me shut my eyes close tightly. I felt a hand making contact with mine and realized it was no one but Lucas, trying to calm me down.

"This doesn't have to be difficult to answer. You're getting married in what? Half a month?" I couldn't believe the guy sitting before me, smiling wide was someone who loved me some days back. I couldn't believe he was the same Carter. I couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that he had moved on so easily. And no single thing seemed to hinder him or hold him back.

Looking at him happy with Amber had persuaded me to stop trying to fight my parents. Knowing that Carter had moved on, I had no desire left to reject the marriage. And everyone would be happy with their lives if I let everything that's happening go in the flow. Who cares if I'm happy or not?

And even if I do reject the proposal, there would be no Carter. Because one, Carter and Amber are a strong thing now and two, he hates me like no one else in this world.

I blinked back the tears that had formed in my eyes as a result of my excessive thinking. Someone snapped their fingers before me and I looked up to find Carter staring at me with his eyebrows raised. "Do you?"

"No."

My answer left Amber's mouth touching the ground. Did she really think I could fall in love with someone I considered as my brother and just met a month ago? This is love we're talking about and not some sort of feeling that you get to explore with every other person you meet. "But I like him," I added, trying to remove the shock from all of their faces.

"And she has all the time to fall perfectly in love with me. We've all our lives ahead," Lucas continued in a joking manner, winking at me in the process as he chuckled lightly at his own joke. What that statement of his actually did was spreading cringes throughout my body.

Shaking my head, I played with the hem of my shirt, trying to avoid as much of all three of them as I could. "Uhm," coughing, Amber grabbed our attention. "One last spin before we stop playing this game.You go Sophie,"

Holding the bottle with my fingers, I exerted a force to turn it around. The bottle stopped moving, pointing towards Lucas and Carter. ""Truth or dare?" Carter asked, his eyes boring into Lucas's.

"Truth- no dare. I mean truth. No no, wait! Dare. Yeah, dare."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Go ask your parents when was the first time they had sex." A gasp left my mouth as I heard his dare.

"What? I'm not doing that!"

"It's a dare! You've to do it! Come on brother!" Amber clapped, an evil yet innocent smile plastered on her face as she enjoyed looking at her brother being tortured.

"If you were me, would you do that?"

"The thing is: I'm not you and I never will be you. I can't be you." Carter stated, his voice taut.

"Come on Lucas. Man up! Go go go! Tell him Sophia!" I understood the wicked glances Amber was passing me and nodded at Lucas.

He stood up, sighing. "God, this game is sick! Fine, I'm doing it! Just remind me never to play this game again!" With that he rushed out of his room shutting the door harshly behind him.

"I'm gonna go and check if he's really actually asking or just pretending." She giggled, waving at me while she walked after her brother as she slipped out of the room, leaving Carter and I alone.

My eyes traced the patterns on Lucas's blanket while I tried to avoid Carter's gaze and bring my mind out of thinking about all those depressing thoughts. A month earlier I had never expected to see the both of us in such an awkward position where I would avoid Carter's gaze.

Sitting there, feeling Carter's eyes burning holes into my head, I couldn't ignore him. His breathing was still audible, now even more that I concentrated on it. It was hard for me to sit there beside him knowing that we weren't the same anymore.

Sure I felt contended being alone with him but I knew better than to get used to it. I knew better than to let this contentment make me happy. I knew better than to forget the reality and live in my dreams.

With a cough, I stood up from the bed. "Uhm, I'll just check on them too," without looking at him, I stretched my shirt that had ridden up, down my hips. But I couldn't move. Carter's hand made contact with mine as he pulled me back to the bed.

"You don't look so happy with this marriage Sophia. What is going on? I want to know the truth!"

"I'm happy. How can you say that I'm not happy? You're no one to poke your nose into my business Carter. It's my life and I can most definitely choose who to marry. Why can't you get that through your mind?"

"Because I know it's not true!" I was breathing hard by then. "What is it? I need to know what it is. You're not you. You're not happy. You're not in agreement with this marriage. I can feel it. What is it, Sophie? I need to know! You're fucking making me crazy each passing day!"

Yanking my hand away from his grip, I pushed myself backwards. "It's nothing Carter. Can't you see it? You and I are not meant to be together. You're not suitable for me. I'm looking for a good future. You should do the same. You've got Amber and I've got Lucas. What is bothering you then?! You have her."

"But I don't want her!"

"Weird, because you're dating her."

"Why? Are you jealous?" There was a smile forming on his face which made me confused as to in between such a heated conversation he had the audacity to smile. Well, it didn't surprise me. Carter had been acting quiet weird lately.

"Like hell I would be. Get away from me, Carter. I seriously am tired of repeating the same things to you. I've moved on, you've moved on, what is even there to save?"

"Sophia this is not you. What happened? We were good, right? What made you change your mind. I thought you loved me. I thought we were gonna spend our summer like no other. What happened to all of that? What happened to your promises?" I was tired of lying to him. I wanted to tell him, to assure him that I'm the same Sophia who he fell in love with. That I'm not the bitch I'm pretending to be. I wanted to tell him that I still loved him even if he hated me.

But I knew better than to tell him the truth. I knew well that after knowing the truth, Carter would agree to put his life on stake just for the sake of being with me. I knew Carter well enough to guess his moves.

I wanted Carter to move on, to continue with his life and forget all about whatever we had. But a huge part of me hoped that he doesn't hate me. That a tiny little part of Carter's heart still remains mine. I hoped he always remembers me. I knew I was selfish to have those feelings but I could not control my heart no matter what.