Cecilia:

Rory climbed out of the carriage ignoring me completely, luckily the footman outside extended his arm to me which I gratefully accepted. I gathered my skirts in one hand not wanting to ruin the gown that had been bought specially for today and lifted my head to stare up at what would be my new home.

I felt the air catch in my lungs as I took in the grand facade of the Wotley home, Clampton it was called if I remembered correctly. Tall columns of marble supported the overhanging ceiling providing shade below for a colonnade that stretched along the front of the house. A grand double staircase led up to the entrance to the house upon which the servants were arranged.

My mouth slightly agape, I made my way towards the line of smartly dressed house staff who introduced themselves and curtsied or bowed one by one as I made my way up the row. By the time I had reached third stable hand though, I was struggling to stifle my yawns as tiredness swept over my body.

I nodded my head at all of them, shaking hands with the more senior members of the household such as the cook, housekeeper, first butler and Rory's valet as well as my own maid. I was taken aback by the number of staff Rory employed, I could see why marrying me would have been preferable to losing all of this.

The large doors were opened for us as the introductions came to a halt after meeting the last of the scullery maids. I silently thanked God there were no more, I don't know how long I would have been able to last before keeling over with exhaustion. The day had been a trying and stressful one, I was just grateful to be able to go to sleep soon.

Just as warm thoughts of peaceful sleep drifted into my mind though, they were violently shook out as I recalled being told by Lacey, who's mother had told her, what a husband expected on his wedding night.

My senses were suddenly alert and I felt as if I had been doused in icy water. I tried my hardest to recall everything I had been told about the intimacies between a husband and a wife, my brain working over time. It was not until I had remembered all I had been told about such things that the nervousness hit me. I feared I was trembling akin to a leaf in a thunderstorm as I imagined Rory and I partaking in those... marital acts.

The very thought made me feel physically sick and I unconsciously scanned the large hallway for a door that might lead to a washroom. I was only just eighteen, I did not want to give up my innocence to any man, let alone the one I was forced to call my husband.

I let out an involuntary shudder at the thought of being unclothed and exposed in front of Rory, I tried to shake the thoughts from my head, maybe he would give me some time first? I knew that it would have to happen eventually, after all, he would need an heir sooner or later, but maybe, just maybe, he would be understanding and give me time to adjust to this new life. I crossed my fingers tightly in my white gloves behind my back.

I looked up to notice Rory was looking at me, a hint of amusement in his eyes. What had I missed?

"No need to look so worried wife." His voice was almost taunting, I arched my brow in a quizzical look, my head tilted slightly to the side.

"You shan't need to warm my bed," he replied in response to my unsaid question, "I have others to do that for me," he added before throwing me a wink. He actually had the audacity to wink at me after such a contemptible comment! I opened my mouth but shut it quickly, realising I had nothing to say.

I felt my body begin to quiver with anger as he suggested that he would be sleeping with other women. Had he no dignity nor a shred of respect? What about his own reputation? I collected myself before calmly turning to the girl introduced as my personal ladies maid, Edna, "If you'd be so kind as to show me to my room, I would like to retire for the evening."

I followed the slight girl up the main staircase that was detailedly carved with images depicting famous battles. The family had been a military one I remembered. The small girl pushed open a door along a corridor on the second floor and allowed me to walk into the room that was to be my bedroom.

The room was mainly occupied by the large four poster bed that stood centrally in the room, the wood was dark, reminding me of my own bed at home which brought some comfort to the cold room. A large bay window was hidden by thick red curtains, similar in colour to the ones that hung around the bed.

I stepped forward, reaching my hand out to touch the soft fabric. Unlike my old blue curtains these were of better quality and had obviously been well looked after I noted as I trailed my fingers along the material. Turning once more to take in every inch of the large room, I noticed that my bags had already been brought up ahead of me and were placed in the far corner of the room.

The girl, Edna, scurried to the fireplace and began to light the fire, filling the room with a warm glow. I moved towards the golden flames that licked the sides of the chimney, striving to escape the confines of the grate.

I had never been allowed a fire at home, it was too expensive, but now I watched spellbound as the flames attempted a complicated dance, twisting around each other, curling into each other then spinning away. The light skipped gaily around the room with each movement, trying to sneak into every corner of the large room. Even with the warmth of the fire encircling me though I couldn't help but shiver. My father's house had never been home to me, Clampton wasn't home to me either, but oh how I hoped it one day would be.

Moving away from the fire, I continued my inspection of the room. A small oil lamp on my bedside table cast long shadows across the floor and a dressing table and chair were positioned in one corner of the room painted in a duck egg blue. Scanning my eyes across the room my eyes landed on two doors. Wandering towards one I opened it, "Where does this go?" I asked Edna.

"That leads to the washroom your grace, and the other door leads to his grace's room your grace." I closed the door turning to face the one on the opposite side of the room.

"To his grace's room?" I asked confused, why did my room have to be adjoined to his? The girl looked at me, her eyes looking scared as she just nodded.

I thanked Edna for showing me the room and dismissed her, I needed some time to be alone. The young girl looked at me confused as I sent her away.

"Will you not require my assistance to help you undress your grace?" I blushed, embarrassed. I had never been taught the ways of a lady, my father was never home and when he was it wasn't to teach me how to behave.

I had never had a maid to myself before, I had become accustomed to dressing myself. I felt self conscious, I knew if she undressed me she would surely see the years of hurt engraved into my body. If I was to be the mistress of the house though, I had to at least pretend I knew what I was doing.

"Of course, how silly of me," I turned back to the girl, "And you must call me Cecilia, I won't have any of this 'your grace' nonsense." The girl looked at me with wide eyes.

"Pardon me saying so, but I don't think his grace would like that your grace." Edna spoke softly, her head bowed.

I moved closer to her, bent down to her ear and whispered conspiratorially, "He need never know." then I stood back up again, "Now will you help me change out of this awful gown, I feel I am being suffocated as we speak."

The girl nodded her head obediently before walking towards my back and proceeding to undo my dress and remove my corset and other undergarments. I held my breath as my clothes fell from my body one by one to reveal the years of damage to my body.

I heard Edna take a sharp intake of breath as I was left standing bare before her. "Your grace," she started.

"Cecilia,' I interrupted her.

"Cecilia," she corrected herself, "What..." she trailed off and shut her mouth clearly thinking it not her place to make any comment. The girl shuffled awkwardly behind me as she found a nightdress in my trunk for me to wear. I lifted my arms for her to place the garment over my head. The silence hung thickly between us as I stood in the room whilst she pulled the gown careful over my body.

"Does his grace know?" She queried as the nightdress fell into place on my body and I made my way to the bed. I felt myself stiffen at her question. Rory didn't know and that was the way I wanted to keep it.

"His grace does not need to be informed," I spoke curtly, "Thank you Edna that will be all for tonight." My face remained turned away from her as she scuttled over to the door and left the room. I felt my shoulders slump forwards as I was left in the privacy of my own room. Walking over to sit on the freshly made bed I pulled the covers up to my shoulders and began to sob into the duvet.

I had lost my chance for freedom, the only thing I had ever wanted. I had been passed from cruel man to cruel man. Rory's earlier words returned to me, "I have others to do that for me." I ground my teeth as the angry tears coursed down my cheeks, burning my skin, how dare he. How dare he entertain women in the room next to mine when we were married! I felt the urge to storm into his room and give him a piece of my mind.

I jumped from my covers and marched angrily over to the door that separated our rooms. I yanked the door open and stepped into the large room. My hands shook with rage as I stood in his room, but he was not there. I felt the anger slowly seep out of me standing in his empty room as the hurt took over.

What should I care if he had mistresses to keep him company, I didn't care about him or what activities he partook in during his spare time, those choices were up to him. All the same, I couldn't shake the hurt that was still swelling in my chest at his unreserved declaration.

I sat down on the side of the huge bed and rocked myself back and forth as my bawling turned into hiccups and the tears flowed silently down my face. Feeling suddenly overcome with tiredness and defeat, I pulled myself from the large bed and walked back into my room falling asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

**********

I opened my eyes slowly, adjusting to the light as it filtered through a large chink in the heavy curtains. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and stretched my arms in front of me. I sleepily clambered out of my bed and pulled a small rope next to my bed, apparently this would alert the household that I had awoken. Mere minutes later the mousy face of Edna appeared in the door.

I offered the girl a sleepy smile, "Morning." I yawned stretching my arms out once more.

"Good morning Cecilia," She emphasised my name and I smiled at her, "I hope everything is to your liking, how may I be of service to you this morning?" She curtsied when she finished. I had never been properly curtsied to before and I felt rather uncomfortable.

"Please could you help me wash and dress, I wish to explore Clampton properly today." I asked, watching as Edna curtsied again before hurrying to fetch a jug of hot water. Edna returned promptly and washed me thoroughly before choosing one of my dresses for me to wear.

I stifled a laugh as I heard her muttering about my plain dresses as she emptied my trunks into my wardrobe before letting out a sigh. Now that I was the future duchess of Wotley, I supposed I would have to change my wardrobe to match the latest fashions. For the men time though my old dresses would simply have to do.

After Edna had finished dressing me in one of my better dresses, a pale blue frock that scooped at the neck and flowed down from my waist to the floor, I left my room and headed down to the dining room. The room was empty and I turned to Edna to ask her where my husband was.

"His grace eats earlier, he has to visit the fields and make sure all is in order, he is a very busy young man." I nodded my head, I felt a twinge of something similar to disappointment but I banished it immediately.

"Thank you Edna, that will be all," I smiled at the young girl as she offered me a timid smile in return before scurrying out of the long room. I let out a sigh as I sat down at the vast table that was covered with a delicious spread of breakfast foods.

I took a piece of toast with a generous helping of raspberry jam before waltzing out of the house, smiling at the butler on my way out. The old man threw me a startled look before opening the door for me as I skipped out of the house and into the fresh air.

I took in a deep breath of the woody air, smiling contentedly. After pausing atop the marble staircase to look out at the views a moment, I scampered down the stairs like an eager schoolgirl.

I couldn't wait to explore the magnificent grounds of Clampton as they were renowned throughout Hampshire as some of the finest in Britain, rivalling even the Duke of Derbyshire's land. Smiling broadly I set off across the grassy lawn, all my worries from the previous night temporarily forgotten.

Hello again for the second time today!

Much love

xxx

(Picture of Cecilia's wedding dress)