I woke feeling sick for the second morning in a row. Not wanting to hurl over my bed again, I clawed my way out of the covers and ran to the nearest bathroom.

I flung myself at the door but it was locked and I only succeeded in adding a bruised wrist to the list of things that had gone wrong in the past couple of days. I hammered the door with my uninjured hand, and heard retching inside.

"Let me in!" I yelled desperately, "I'm going to be sick!" There were a few more coughs from inside then my dad's deep, gravely voice replied,

"I'm being sick so go find your own toilet." It was supposed to come out as a snap but he couldn't muster the energy and it came out as more of a whine.

I could feel bile rising in the back of my throat.

I ran down the stairs and along a hallway to another bathroom.

I could managed only to open the door and lift the toilet lid before everything came up.

When I finally lifted my head from the toilet pan the room was spinning and I was breathing heavily. I felt the acid burning the back of my throat as I swallowed, trying to get rid of the horrible taste.

I gripped the side of the toilet bowl tightly as another wave of nausea hit. I was sick again and again, at times fearing for my life when I could not pause to breathe.

It eventually ended, my heart flutering in my chest like a trapped bird desperate to get free.

Someone flung open the door and I was just able to get out of the way before Tara was sick all over the floor. She heaved and gasped until there was nothing left. My own stomach lurched at the sight but I ignored it.

Tears were running down her face and dripping into the mess she'd created. I stood and made my way around the pool of vomit towards her.

I reached her and she threw her arms around me and I held her tight as her tiny body was wracked with sobs. After a while she leaned back so I released her.

"You okay?" I asked. She nodded and I stood up, pulling her with me. "Come on then, lets get you cleaned up and back to bed."

I made her sit on the couch and sip from a glass of water while I filled a hot water bottle for her.

Once I'd tucked her up in bed and arranged a basin beside it, I took a floor mop from the cupboard and cleaned the bathroom floor.

Then I went back to bed and tried to ignore the sounds of my family being ill.

***

When I woke again I felt much better. Judging by the silence everyone else was still asleep.

I got dressed and brushed my teeth to get rid of the taste which seemed to have grown ten times worse as I slept.

I was going down the stairs when it hit me like a punch in the guts. I was closer to the kitchen than anywhere else so I ran there as fast as I could. I didn't make it.

As I cleaned up vomit for the second time that morning I wondered what had made us all so ill.

There was the possibility of a bug but the most obvious solution was food poisoning. No one had been unwell before and we'd all suddenly become ill in the space of a night, it was the obvious solution.

If it was food poisoning then it had to have been something at lunch as that was all I ate. Which meant Miss Hart would probably get it.

I had to text her.

I ran upstairs again and regretted it as soon as I stopped. I hadn't thought there was anything left to come up but I was wrong.

I went slowly from the toilet to my room. I found my phone quickly and sent a message.

She replied immediately.

I felt really bad and I hoped she wasn't pissed off with me.

That reminded me, I had to call Caitlin and cancel our date. I phoned her and she picked up on the first ring.

"Hey babe!" She said, "what is it? Couldn't wait to see me so you want me to come over early?"

"Not exactly," I said fighting the urge to groan at her misplaced self confidence. "I need to cancel our date today."

"Why?" She demanded.

"I'm ill, so I can't make it."

"Oh dear," She sounded just like a grandmother. "Do you want me to come over?"

"No!" Slipped out before I could stop it. "You'd only catch it."

"I don't care," She said and my heart sank. "I'm coming over!"

"Don't! There's point in both of us being ill," I said. There was a silence which I took as a good sign. "We just need to reschedule."

"You're right," She said, the idea of being sick herself apparently very off-putting.

"When's good for you?" I asked when she didn't say anything else.

"How about same time next week?"

"That's fine." I said.

"Great! See you soon."

"Bye."

She replied quickly, but then if she was as ill as me there was nothing else for her to do.

The last word sent a warmth through my body that I couldn't explain.

We continued talking most of the day, until she fell asleep on me. I was tired myself and lay in bed, falling asleep.

I felt drawn to this smart, funny, slightly weird and incredibly sexy woman.

She was more that just an ex-pupil. She was my friend now, I was sure. On top of that everything about her (with the exception of the strange voices thing) was perfect. If there weren't two major barriers between us, as well as my doubts about being with someone who was once my pupil.

The first was Caitlin. I wasn't single and couldn't break up with her for no reason. Just because I found someone else didn't give me the right to just leave her.

The other was much more worrying. The 'I hear voices in my head and you do too' problem. She wasn't sane, she was completely insane. She kept it well hidden beneath her brains, but then aren't most crazy people deadly intelligent?

Then again, I had heard her. Did that mean I was crazy too? Was she, possibly, telling the truth?

***

The next day passed in much the same way. My attraction to her grew and with it my fear of her got stronger.

I made a point to myself of sending texts to Caitlin yet she didn't reply as reliably as Lilly. This didn't bother me but the fact it didn't did.

I still appreciated the fact that an extremely beautiful young woman was talking to me, her teacher.

She still hadn't let up on the flattery front and compliments rained down. It made me remember how I'd once tried to be when I was her age. The innocence of an eighteen year old is hard to retain and I failed miserably on that front. The only person who didn't notice something was wrong was my mother. Everyone thought it was my fathers death which caused the change and I let them. I never told anyone the real reason. I didn't think I ever would.

I was startled from my depressing thoughts by my phone vibrating wildly on the table. There was a text. I didn't even have to check who it was; I knew it was Lilly.

We didn't text again that day. Silence from Lilly hurt a lot more than it did from Caitlin.

***

The next day my sister came to visit. I'd told her not to bother meeting me but she hadn't paid any attention and showed up anyway. When she knocked on the door the first person to spring to mind was Caitlin and I seriously considered hiding.

'She's your girlfriend, grow a pair!' I chided as I sneaked up to the door.

I opened it and the relief that flooded through me was overpowering.

"Stephanie," I welcomed her, "come in."

She was alone and I thanked god for small miracles. I couldn't have dealt with Alexander as much as I loved him. Tripping over toy trains on the way to the toilet and constantly having to make sure he wasn't eating soap or licking the floor or chewing a knife. I didn't know how my little sister coped.

I went into the kitchen to make her a coffee and when I came back through she had settled down on the sofa.

"You have a text." She said, nodding her head towards my phone.

"Thanks." I grabbed it and quickly read the message.

I grinnedwidely, she was talking to me again!

"Who's that you're texting?"

"A friend," I said putting the phone back on the table.

"Huh," Stephanie sipped her coffee, not looking convinced, "so how are you?"

"Terrible. You?"

"Tired," she said. "Alex is teething so he's screaming all night."

"Aw," I sympathised, "poor baby. It must be so sore."

"He's absolutely shattered," she said rubbing her eye. "He fell asleep in the sand pit yesterday."

"Poor little guy." She nodded and a comfortable silence settled.

It was broken by my phone buzzing and I smiled apologetically.

"That your friend?" She asked and I nodded not able to suppress a cheerful grin.

"Is your friend gay?"

"Stephanie!" I laughed. "You can't just ask that."

"Why not?" She asked, completely serious.

"She had a boyfriend."

"Doesn't mean anything." She was watching me; staring me down. I knew exactly what she was getting at.

"I'm not single."

"Do you like her?"

"Yes."

"More than your girlfriend?"

"I'm not going to answer that!"

"Go for it." She instructed "There's no point wasting time, just ask her!"

"She has problems."

"What do you mean?"

So I told her. I told her about all the crazy things she'd said to me. Her eyes grew wide and her coffee sat cold in her hands. It felt great to tell someone else, to seek another opinion.

"Thing is," I finished, "I did hear her when she spoke in my head."

Now that I'd said it out loud I realised that this was the real problem. I didn't care about Lilly being crazy, I just didn't want to be myself. More than I was already, of course.

Stephanie sat silently with her mouth slightly open. Her eyes moved quickly around the room as she thought hard.

When she didn't speak I looked down at my phone to read the waiting message.

"I really don't know, Laura. I don't know."

"It's not possible right?" I said. "That's what I thought but I can hear her, Steph... I can hear her."

It was silent for a long time after that, until she asked, "why don't you ask her parents?"

"I could," I mused. "They seemed nice enough."

"Excuse me! Laura Hart! Have you met the parents?"

"Well... kind of, yeah."

"And you said she was just a friend."

"She is!" I insisted.

"Mhm." She smirked but didn't say anything else.

My phone vibrated, another text.

Stephanie was watching me, shaking her head with a smile on her lips.

"What?"

"Nothing." She said but she couldn't keep the smile from her face.

I jumped from the seat, suddenly nauseous, and ran to the toilet.

As I returned my phone buzzed and my steps grew quicker. I entered the room then stopped, staring at Stephanie in horror.

"What the hell are you doing?" I demanded and she jumped guiltily. I snatched the phone from her and read what she had written.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I yelled deleting the text. I checked the chat and nearly screamed when I saw she had sent another message

.

"Why did you do that?!" I screamed and she looked annoyed.

"I was trying to help you!"

"Yeah? Well don't, I don't need your help! I can ask her myself!" Suddenly I felt like crying so I sent a reply before I could break down.

She replied only seconds later.

I stared down at the message feeling both happy and disappointed. I couldn't stop smiling. She played for my team!

'I'll bet Tanya's her girlfriend,' I thought, 'that one pings my gaydar like crazy.'

"What is it?" Stephanie asked, watching me carefully. I shook my head, still in shock.

"Read this." I said handing her the phone.

She beamed at me, "See! Now you know... if only she was single."

She tapped the keys on my phone and I lunged at her but she'd already sent the message.

"Steph!" I was getting pissed, "stop doing that."

"I'm getting you answers."

"I can get them myself, she was my damn pupil a few weeks ago. I gotta be careful."

Stephanie didn't reply, handing my phone back silently.

Stephanie read the message after me.

"Hm..." A thoughtful expression crossed her face. "Answer as though it doesn't bother you, say cool or something."

"I feel like a high school pupil not the teacher." I stated as I typed.

"That doesn't sound like you don't care!" Stephanie snapped.

"Yes it does," I countered, "it sounds as if I care about her but don't care about her dating someone or asking them out or whatever."

"We'll just have to see how she takes it."

"She wants to meet up, when I'm better. What should I say? Is it appropriate?"

Stephanie sent me a look that said I was an idiot. "Say yes, of course!"

"Okay, what now?" I asked.

"Now we wait," Stephanie instructed.

She continued muttering to herself but I didn't pay attention. My thoughts drifted and before I knew it I was remembering the last year in class.

Sometimes when I was marking papers or writing an e-mail, I would look up and find her watching me. She mostly blushed and looked away but sometimes she would smile at me and I would smile back before going back to whatever it was I had been doing.

I had always put it down to curiosity. In most of my classes there was one child who would watch what I did no matter what, but now, I dared to hope that maybe, maybe she had watched me for a different reason.

My phone went off and I glanced at it quickly.

"She wants to get coffee the Saturday after this."

"Good for you little sis." Stephanie said standing up, "I've got to go now. Marc will be going crazy looking after Alex on his own." She rolled her eyes, "men!"

I let her out, hugging her and vowing to meet up with her soon and to bring Courtney too.

"Good luck with your girl drama!"

I rolled my eyes, "goodbye, Stephanie."

"Bye!"