When I woke up Lilly wasn't in the bed beside me.

I shifted a bit, trying to be inconspicuous in case she was watching and determined that she was definitely not under the covers with me.

I yawned and made a pretence of waking up and stretching. I made sure to flash some stomach, just in case she was watching.

I sat up and, trying not to be too obvious, looked across the room. She wasn't there.

My brow furrowed in confusion. Where could she have gone?

Then I noticed her clothes weren't where she'd dumped them last night and pain disbanded my uncertainty.

She'd left without telling me, without even leaving a note. She'd left really early too I found out, with a quick glance at my phone. She must have been desperate to get away from me. What had I done?

I thought back to last night and remembered - with a sinking heart - how I'd told her to take off her clothes and she'd blushed and been uncomfortable and had not wanted to.

But I'd made her and now I felt horrible. She must hate me. I had forced her to do something she obviously didn't want to and now she'd left.

"Why do you always mess everything up!?" I asked myself, dropping my head into my hands with a groan.

Tears pooled in the corners of my eyes and collected on my fingers as I tried to bring myself under control.

It was okay, I just had to apologise and everything would be great again.

Or what if she couldn't trust me again? Or refused to forgive me? What would I do then? I wasn't sure I could just go back to my normal life any more.

I could see myself falling for her, I knew I wasn't far off it now. Maybe it was better to have it end now, before I could get seriously hurt. Perhaps I should let her live her life hating me and save myself the pain.

"Laura?" Her melodic voice floated across the room and I glanced up, "what's wrong?" She asked, rushing over to my side and wrapping her arm around my waist.

I just shook my head. I couldn't voice my thoughts. I was too ashamed of them. How could I be so selfish and hurt this beautiful woman? How could I even think about leaving her when I knew it would cause her pain? To keep myself from getting hurt?

"Come on baby," she said, her hands rubbing against my skin comfortingly, "you can tell me. Is it your hand, or your side, do they hurt?"

I shook my head and my tears just fell faster.

"Sweetheart you can trust me, I promise, just tell me what's wrong."

I wrapped my arms around her and sobbed into her neck. I hated myself for thinking those thoughts, for even contemplating hurting her. What sort of girlfriend was I?

I was sitting on her lap, without quite knowing how I'd gotten there, and she was slowly calming me down. As she did I began to see how odd this must look to her, me crying over apparently nothing. I couldn't tell her why though, no matter what.

"Are you okay now?" Lilly asked, I nodded and she kissed me gently on the cheek. "What upset you?"

"Nothing, I was just PMSing," I smoothly lied.

She met my eyes and said, "bullshit."

I was shocked, she rarely swore, but I got over it quickly and instead became offended.

"Excuse me?"

"Bullshit. You're lying."

"How can you possible know that?"

"You would've gone to the toilet last night and you didn't, so tell me the truth!"

I stared at her in surprise. She was getting good at catching me out, that was twice now in two days.

"Tell me," Lilly looked like she might cry herself now, "I don't want to see you upset."

"I know," I said, "I don't want to see you upset either, which is why I can't tell you."

She stared at me for a moment, her eyes shining with unshed tears.

"Not telling me will make me more upset!" She stroked my cheek gently, "please tell me."

I felt myself melt, give in without any resistance at all. I couldn't stand her being sad because of me and, even though I knew it might hurt her, I told her the truth.

"I'm scared babe," I whispered and she frowned.

"Of what?"

"You," I admitted and her face twisted.

"You're scared of me?" She asked, looking hurt.

"Not you," I quickly corrected, "my feelings for you."

"Oh..." She gazed at me and smiled a little, "what are your feelings for me."

I shifted uncomfortably and broke out stare, moving away from her and turning my back.

She giggled and the noise was so adorable I smiled, not able to control myself.

"Come on," she said teasingly, "tell me."

I could feel her coming up behind me, the warmth of her body instantly increasing my own body temperature. I felt her breath tickle my neck right before she kissed it gently, parting my hair so she didn't get it in her mouth. I shivered in response and she giggled again, her lips still against the back of my neck, her warm breath creating moisture on my skin. That wasn't the only moisture she was creating.

I wanted to pull away, to turn around and pin her to the bed and take her every way I could but I didn't. I don't know how but I somehow knew she wasn't ready for something like that yet.

It was hard to keep that in mind when she was carefully kneading my shoulders, her fingers digging into the muscle making me fight not to release a sound.

"Please tell me," she whispered in my ear, her nose nuzzling it softly.

She kissed it, letting the top of it slide into her mouth and I couldn't stop the moan that escaped my lips. Her mouth was hot and warm and her tongue slowly trailed across my earlobe.

I'd never been a big fan of people playing with my ears and had never really found it a turn on, but right now I was breathing heavily and wishing more than anything she had her mouth somewhere else on my body.

I was turning into a horny teenager and I found that I didn't really mind. As long as it was Lilly I was with I didn't care one bit.

"Please," she repeated, moving away from me again, "tell me what your feelings for me are."

I didn't want to just spit it out without even looking at her, and I was about to say so when she crawled onto the bed in front of me and sat there, with her legs tucked neatly under her and an expectant look on her face.

I reached over and took her hand for support. She reached over to hold the other but I stopped her.

"Broken, remember?" I said, holding up the dark green cast so she could see.

"I'll be gentle," she whispered and my horrible, needy, dirty little mind took her words the wrong way. "I promise."

I just nodded, not trusting myself to speak when I was like this.

She pressed her palm against the cast and closed her fingers between my own which were free from the fibreglass.

She smiled at me reassuringly and I smiled back, as always.

"I like you," I said, "I really like you."

"Well that's good," she said, squeezing my uninjured hand, "because I really like you too."

I grinned and leaned towards, desperate to feel her soft lips against my own. To taste her mouth and to feel her wrap my hair around her fingers to keep me against her.

She was leaning in too now, helping me out, and we were getting closer and closer, our eyes staring into one another.

Our lips were only a fraction of a centimetre away from touching, so close I could taste the air she breathed out, when the door opened.

A young female nurse walked in and instantly blushed when she saw us.

"I'm so sorry!" She exclaimed, "I should've knocked before I came in, I'm just in such a rush this morning. I was meant to be home an hour ago but that stupid new head made me do the morning rounds, even though I don't get paid for it, telling me I had to or I'd loose my job..." The woman ranted on as we sat there, still holding hands but further away now we weren't alone.

The woman continued her torrent of complains and Lilly and I smiled at each other, amused by her antics.

Eventually the nurse bustled over to us, holding a clipboard to her chest.

"Alright how are you this morning?" She asked, smiling kindly at me.

"I'm good," I told her.

"No head pains or vomiting?"

"Nope."

"No dizziness or fainting?"

"None."

"Alright then," she made a quick note on her clipboard, "great! You're free to go," she glanced between is with a slight smirk, "when you're ready of course."

"What?" Lilly asked and I squeezed her hand.

"She doesn't mean anything babe, just giving us time to wake up."

"Oh," Lilly said, and I glared at the nurse, daring her to say something more.

"Yes of course sweetie, that's all I meant," she winked at me and I frowned but couldn't help liking her. There weren't many people out there who would joke about lesbian sex, so she was better than some.

"Okay, hope you girls have a good day," the nurse smiled at us both then left the room.

"What was all that about?" Lilly asked once the door had swung closed behind her.

"All what?" I questioned, playing the innocent.

"All the..." she trailed off, "never mind."

"Now," I released her hand to push a lock of hair out her face, leaving my hand there so it could cup her cheek, "where were we?"

***

"I don't want to go!" She whined, looking frustrated and pouting slightly.

"I know you don't but you've got to go to Uni," I insisted.

"Can't I just skip a day and stay with you?" She begged but I shook my head.

"It's only the second day babe, you have to go in."

"I'll say I'm ill, Thomas can give me his notes to copy," she argued and I laughed at her persistence.

"No," I kissed her gently, "you're going in."

"But-"

"No arguments."

She frowned at me and sighed.

"Come on, get ready," I prodded her with my finger and she glared at me.

"I have nothing to change into." She argued and I grinned, she wasn't getting out if it this time.

"I'm sure I can find you something."

I pushed her off my lap and stood up, going through to my bedroom.

She followed, grumbling and complaining all the way.

"I just want to stay with you!" She whined and I turned and kissed her forcefully, just to make her shut up.

She tried to mumble something but I slid my tongue inside her mouth so she couldn't.

She tasted of coffee and toasted bread and something else that was just her. Something sweet and delicious and addictive. Something that made me want to keep kissing her, and go on kissing her. It also made me want to do more than just kiss her. So much more.

"Can't," I panted as she slid her hands under my top, her cool finger rubbing circles on my bare back. "You have to go."

"Mm," she whispered softly, "but I don't want to."

"Christ," I groaned as she dug her fingernails into my back and tugged on my bottom lip with her teeth simultaneously. My clit twitched in response and I had to force myself to push her away. "No. School."

"You started it," she said innocently and I rolled my eyes and went back to finding her clothes.

When I finally found an outfit she didn't object to; she seemed to have been making a point of hating everything; I had to almost shove her out the front door.

"I'll see you tonight babe," she said, kissing me for about the fifth time.

"You don't have to come over," I didn't want to be an obligation, "I'll be fine on my own."

She looked at me like I was crazy and insisted that she was going to be there as soon as she could, after University.

I waved goodbye to her and went into the house, sort of bored now she had gone. I didn't have work, I'd phoned in the night before as I didn't know if I'd be released from hospital in time.

So I had nothing to do.

I wanted to take a shower and get rid of the horrid hospital smell that still clung to me; chemicals and bleach blending to form a potent mixture; but I would have to wrap a plastic bag around my cast and make sure it didn't get any water on it, and, honestly, I couldn't be bothered.

Maybe later if I was truly desperate.

I sighed and lounged back on the sofa, flicking through TV channels aimlessly.

Once I'd been through every channel twice, I switched the television off and leaned back, closing my eyes to help me think of something to do.

Eventually I decided to read, having no other option and buried myself into a new book by one of my favourite authors.

***

I was startled from my novel by the door being opened with a lot of force.

I put the book down on the arm rest and stood up slowly, my muscles screaming in protest; they'd become quick stiff as I was absorbed into the plot the author had created.

I made my way hesitantly to the living room door, which was closed, and silently prayed that I wouldn't find Caitlin behind it.

I reached for the door knob, rather awkwardly with my right hand, but before I could touch it the door swung open, almost catching me in the face. I stumbled back, my eyes closing instinctively so I didn't see who it was that had let them self into my home.

"Oh shit babe, I'm so sorry I didn't know you were there, are you okay?" A pair if familiar hands held my cheeks and I opened my eyes, smiling inside but not letting it show.

"What are you doing home?" I demanded and she smiled at me. "What?" I asked.

"Home," she said, "you asked me why I was home." She grinned widely at me but I didn't understand so I just ignored it.

"You better have a good explanation for being home so early!" I said sternly.

"Babe it's two, I'm only like an hour early."

"Really?" I asked, rubbing the bridge of my nose gently, trying to ward off the headache I felt growing. "I didn't notice, God, the day went fast."

She took over from me, massaging my head, "my last lecturer was ill so they're going to give us the lecture again tomorrow as well as the one for tomorrow. Which of course means I'll have to stay late tomorrow!" She sighed as though this was a huge burden and I smirked at her.

"It's not that bad, wait until you get to the third year, then you'll be happy to get to bed before one. Every night."

"Nah that was just all the partying you did," she teased, winking at me.

"Hey!" I swiped at her but without really trying to hit her, after all if I got rid of her who would give me massages? "That was only Fridays and Saturdays!" I tried to plead my case but as soon as the words were out my mouth I knew it was pointless.

"Really, and Sundays every now and then I'll bet, and maybe even a Monday if it was really rough, and a Thursday because it's almost the weekend and-"

"Shut up," I murmured, "everyone did it."

"And that makes it okay?" She asked, and I wondered how the tables had turned.

How had she become the bossy adult when I'd be telling her off just a few minutes ago.

"Yes." I said and made my way back to the couch. Slowly though so she could follow and continue fighting off my headache. I sat down on the couch and she perched beside me.

"I don't think it does." She argued and I silenced her by pressing my finger to her lips.

"Shut up and just keep doing that."

I heard her giggle slightly and glanced across at her sharply.

"I-I'm sorry," she spluttered, dissolving into laughter, covering her face with her hands.

"Children," I tutted and rolled my eyes, moving away from her slightly so I could sprawl out more and get comfortable.

"Babe?" She asked, having calmed down.

"What?"

"Do you ever get... Um... Actually, never mind."

My curiosity was piqued now and I turned to look at the blushing girl.

"What is it?" I asked, wondering what could make her turn such a violent shade of red.

Actually knowing her it could be anything.

"It doesn't matter," she said but I refused to let it drop.

"It must or you wouldn't have started to ask. I promise I won't laugh or anything."

"It's too embarrassing!" She exclaimed, her face completely hidden behind her hands.

"Just ask, you'll feel better if you do."

"No, I, I don't know how."

"I'll help you then. So do I ever... Eat chocolate chip cookies?" I asked and she rolled her eyes.

"Be serious," she said but she wasn't blushing as much now so my plan had worked.

"Okay you tell me, I'll never get it."

"Fine. Do you ever get horny because of me?" She asked, then sat looking proud for a few seconds before it sank in and she squealed and covered her face. "I can't believe I just asked you that!" She said into her arms.

I didn't laugh. I was too surprised the my little innocent Lilly had just asked that. And it kind of turned me on that she'd thought about that before. But only a little... Okay maybe I'm lying but so what? She's my girlfriend so I'm entitled to feel like this around her!

She'd stopped squealing now and didn't look embarrassed any more. She just sat, looking at me and waiting for an answer.

"Uh..." I couldn't look at her, "I guess."

"How can you guess?" She demanded, "either you do or you don't."

"I do then," I admitted, "but only sometimes."

She seemed happy about it, a bit too happy in fact, but I didn't care. She'd just asked me a sex question. That meant we were one step closer to actually doing it. And I almost couldn't wait.

Almost.