"Hello. My apologies for missing your call; I was working."

"That's no problem, ma'am, I was calling to inform you that we have deposited the amount you're due into your bank account. If there are any issues please contact us immediately through our helpline. Have a great day."

"Alright, thank you."

Stephanie was picking me up today, having begged me to do something, saying she hadn't seen me in years. She would hopefully be waiting outside so we could go shopping.

I was packing up my things when a light knock on the open door made me pause.

"Can I help you?"

The girls face was hidden behind her hair but I recognised the trembling voice, broken by gasps for air. Her words were inaudible. She was in my class, the one I'd taught last in fact. Her name was Gemma. "Sweetie," I stood up and she stumbled forwards into my arms, her tears so heavy I could feel them soaking my shirt in a matter of seconds. "Shh, calm down." I stroked her hair, and attempted to soothe her. It worked sufficiently; she was still crying, but lightly and could speak without too much difficulty. "Tell me what's wrong," I urged.

"I don't know what to do, you're the only teacher I could find that I like." She sniffled, rubbing her face.

"Go on."

"I know I should've told someone before but I could handle it. But then he tried it with one of my... My f-friends." Her words were once more swallowed by sobs.

My stomach was beginning to sink, nausea burning in my throat. I already knew what the he had done. I just fucking knew it. I battled with the internal panic, ordering myself to get it together and act the way a teacher should.

"What did he do?" I pushed her hair from her face and handed her a tissue. "Come on, Gemma, you have to tell me if you want me to help you."

She blew her nose and breathed deeply several times.

"He raped me."

There was a deafening silence, her word hung in the air. Heavy and dangerous. The girls tears had stopped, all I could hear was my own breathing. Loud, laboured. The only physical sign (I hoped) that I wasn't handling this well. I couldn't formulate words and simply pulled her against me and held her tightly. My brain flooded with all the things I must do to help this child. The police had to be contacted, assessments of her safety, interviews. These thoughts distracted me from my own distress, helping me think more clearly.

"Who did it?" I asked first, deeming that the most important question.

"My cousin," she whispered, "he lives with us.

"Who's us?"

"My mum and dad and me."

"Has it happened... More than once?" She nodded stiffly, tears trickling down her face. “We’re going to get this sorted out, Gemma, don’t you worry.” My mind was already hard at work, running over all the paperwork I had to fill out, making a list of all the authorities I would need to notify. “Could you wait here for a few minutes?” Gemma nodded. “Will you be alright? He isn’t waiting for you or anything?” I began to feel a little panicked, imaging the worst.

“I’ll be fine, Miss, he isn’t waiting for me... My boyfriend is outside though, can he come in?”

“Of course,” I got up and was quickly striding out of the room to find Barry. I had to get him before he left and seeing as it was a Friday there was a strong chance he had already gone.

I rushed through the hallways until I reached his office and I burst through the door, not even pausing to knock.

“Laura Hart?” Barry was packing up, I was lucky I managed to catch him. “What on earth are you doing in here?”

“We have to talk.”

***

Hours later I can finally leave the school. It had been emotionally traumatic for Gemma. Her parents had been called and the young girl had been taken to the nearest police station for an interview while I stayed in school with Barry and filled in sheet after sheet. When they were finally completed I’d been told that if I was required I would be contacted.

I had intended to go out with Stephanie after school ended and, despite the long wait, she still came to pick me up and we were going to head out shopping.

It wasn't until I was sitting in Stephanie's car that the feelings which I had suppressed to deal with Gemma’s situation came bubbling back to the surface at their full force.

I gripped the sides of my seat tightly and tried to hold onto my lunch. I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the windscreen and closed my eyes, fighting my feelings. I just hoped Stephanie wouldn't notice.

I was unlucky, she knew me far to well. She was about to ask and I couldn't tell her the truth. She couldn't know.

"Are you -"

"Fine." I cut her off instantly. She began to speak again but I stopped her. "I don't want to talk about it."

Stephanie looked worried, her eyes on me more than the road, which probably wasn't very safe. I breathed evenly and deeply, slowly clearing my head. I'd never been very good at meditation (I thought far too much) but I hoped just trying would help. Maybe if I wanted it enough it would work?

"Where do you want to go first?" Stephanie asked, being kind and trying to distract me from my thoughts. I wasn't sure.

"Big things," I suggested, "the essentials."

"Bed's and stuff?" She noted my nod and fell silent. She no longer watched me; she was intelligent enough to realise it had made me uncomfortable. Normally I wouldn't have minded being uncomfortable; it was better than my terrible thoughts. Today, however, was different. Being left alone give me time to sort through my feelings and I began to calm down. My pulse no longer raced so loud I could hear it beating in my ears, and my hands had ceased their shaking.

When we eventually climbed out the car I realised I was okay. That I could handle this. That if I really thought about it, there wasn't much I could do but get over the awful thing that had been done. He was gone now and couldn't hurt me again. Not to be vulgar but shit happens and you just fucking deal with it.

"You alright now?" Stephanie asked, gripping my hand and squeezing it.

"I think so, sorry about the whole..." I waved my free hand and she shook her head.

"There's nothing to apologise for." She paused. "Although, what was wrong??"

I clenched my free hand into a fist, gaining comfort from the feeling of my nails cutting into my palm. "A little girl, one of my pupils, came to me after my last class. She told me she's being sexually abused by her older cousin.

"Oh," Stephanie dropped my hand, her eyes widening in horror. "That's awful."

"I agree. I contacted people to help and her case will be delt with and it'll all be as okay as it can be." I clenched both fists tightly to stop their trembling. "But we should concentrate on shopping." I nodded towards the shop.

"Of course."

"We have to make sure the deliveries will be later than the repairs. How long d'you reckon?" I asked as we headed into the store.

"I don't know, a month, two?"

"I could always send them to your house," I teased.

"And have everything covered in Alexander mess?" She rolled her eyes, "fantastic plan."

"Oi," I pretended to sulk.

"Oh, grow up." She sounded stern but grined to show she's only joking.

"You're the only grown up here," I poked her, "you old fart."

"I love you," she grabbed me and hugged me then walked off leaving me bemused but filled with a certainty.

I have people who love me, and I can get past anything bad that might happen. As long as I always have my sister and my best friend and my beautiful girlfriend. Then I'll be as happy as anyone could be.