Don't Leave

A frown tugged at my lips as I looked at Logan from the corner of my eye. He hasn't been sleeping? Is that why he had been acting so distant and secretive whenever he came back from classes? I held back from shaking my head at my own thoughts. Nah, there had to be something else (something more) keeping him awake. Logan was strong, both physically and mentally, I doubt a couple of hours without sleep could have changed him to the point of becoming so distant.

Maybe it was me?

Fuck off Tripp, don't be so self-centered. I got up as I finished my food, picking up my plate and placing it in the sink. I turned to see Logan doing the same, we paused as our eyes met. I studied him for a second. His eyes fluttered as he took notice of my wandering eyes, his right hand gripping his left elbow. A change I had started seeing a few weeks into moving to our dorm (read: house); was that he had started becoming shy around me.

But, as the basis of our relationship, I didn't force him to open up. I, more than anyone, understood the fear of doubt (I mean, at this point, we all know about my fear of doubt). My coming out story is a true tragedy, I still haven't gotten around to fixing that. Because of the foundational build up (what am I, an inspirational speaker?) of our friendship though, I would believe the excuse he gave me.

"You're going to take a warm bath while I prepare you some tea, then you're going to sleep with me." His eyes went wide and I had to stop myself from gaping as a beautiful rose blush crossed his cheeks. He nodded quickly, hiding his face by lowering his head once more. I could die happily now.

That didn't stop me from wondering why he was suddenly so shy? Not that I minded.

I didn't give him more time, gripping his hand and proceeding to drag him to the bathroom in my room. I made quick work of turning on the bathtub, turning to him and gripping his face in my hands. Logan sighed, leaning tentatively into my touch as I pressed my lips against the side of his head, telling him to get in the bath when he deemed it ready before heading to the kitchen. Quickly, I filled a kettle with water, placing it on a low set stove before returning to the restroom.

I leaned against the doorway to take in the sight in front of me. Logan had undressed and was leaning the back of his head on the curve of the tub, the expanse of his neck and shoulders slick with water. I forced myself not to look past his collarbones as I walked past him, sitting down on the closed toilet seat and turning off the running water. One of the many things I envied about Logan was that he was able to get into the shower without caring about the temperature (ok, so maybe I'm weak, sue me for wanting perfectly tempered luke-warm water for my showers).

His eyes fluttered open and he smiled softly at me. "Do you want to soak or actually wash?" I asked, leaning forward to comb the loose strands falling onto his face. Logan hummed, blinking lazily.

"Wash me, babe." My breath caught in the back of my throat, stalling my movements. To ensure that he wouldn't catch me freezing like a deer in headlights, I distracted myself by grabbing one of the bottles of shampoo, nudging him to sit forward. He did so without hesitation, giving me ample space to pour shampoo on the top of his golden locks. Somewhere throughout our second year of friendship any embarrassment we had towards our physicality (a.k.a. Seeing each other naked) disappeared. Though showering each other wasn't a common action, it had been done before. Mainly because sometimes Logan would stumble into my room drunk and the stench was so overwhelming that showering him was the only way I would let him sleep on my bed.

"Tilt your head back." I muttered after a few minutes of scrubbing, leaning forward to grab the shower hose. I reached forward, resting my right hand on the back of his head as I gently washed out his hair. I did this twice more before getting a loofah and squeezing some body wash on it. Scrubbing his skin softly, I made it to the top of his shoulders until the whistle of the kettle stopped any further advancements.

Someone (hint hint: upstairs) really hated me.

I handed Logan the loofah with a groan, "Finish washing up, you know where to find clothes."

With that I left the bathroom, only returning when Logans tea was ready. I placed the tea on the drawer on the opposite side of the bed and headed back to the bathroom to see if he had listened to me. However, instead of finding a comfortable and dressed up Logan, ready for some relaxing hot tea and a long sleep, I was met with a bare and shivering Logan. Sadly enough, he had one towel wrapped loosely around his hips, another soaking on his head. His head was tilted downward, refusing to look up at me as I approached him with a heavy sigh.

"What would you do without me?" It was meant to be a rhetorical question because there was no way (in hell) that I wouldn't be around him, at least not anytime soon. But Logan's reaction made me regret asking the question. His hands gripped my shirt, pulling me unexpectedly close and stopping all of my movements by pressing his head against my chest.

He whined, "Tripp. . . leaving?" I smiled, catching the signs of a sleepy Logan. Clinginess was the biggest clue, which only made him both adorable and irresistible.

I tilted his chin back, pressing my lips against the bridge of his nose. "No. What are you thinking about? I'll never leave you."

. I mean, I would never purposefully leave Logan's side. Not unless he wanted me to. That immediately redirects me to my feelings for him because, as a doubter, I knew there was always the possibility of him asking me to leave if he ever found out about said feelings. At the same time though, I was probably just overthinking it.

"Don't wan' you to." He murmured, breath tickling my collarbone. I hummed, grabbing the towel resting on his head and starting to dry his bundle of hair.

"You don't want me to - what?" I finished, leading him out of the room and sitting him down on the edge of my bed as I looked for clothes.

"I don't want you to leave me." A sharp intake of breath, I almost choked on my own saliva just then. There were some things I absolutely adored about a Sleepy Logan. At the same time, there were some things I absolutely hated about a Sleepy Logan. He was going to break my neck with the amount of whiplash he causes me.

I sighed, grabbing a wife beater and turning back towards Logan. My cheeks widened as I saw him rubbing his eyes harshly with the palms of his hands, body shaking as tears spilled down his cheeks. Rushing towards him, I kneeled down in front of him, softly grabbing her chin. "What's wrong, baby?"

Logan hiccuped, body jolting as he looked at me. A few hiccups later and he was reaching out towards me, hands gripping my face. "I don't want you to leave, Tripp."

What was going on? Sure, Sleepy Logan often made odd requests, like the time he asked me to play Man's Not Hot on repeat and sing along to it with exaggerated movements. I did it (but because it made him giggle so cutely). Anyways, despite that, he usually never got emotional. An emotional Sleepy Logan was rare, because aside from being clingy, he was also just really demanding.

His hands jolted away from my face, combing into his own hair and gripping at the strands tightly. "I'm so disgusting, p-please don't leave me,"

I leaned forward, gripping his hands, tugging them off his head. "Hey, stop doing that, you're going to hurt yourself."

He sniffled, finally listening to me and nodding weakly. I wrapped his hands in mine, bringing his fingers to my lips. "You. Are not. Disgusting, Logan."

I tried to make my voice firm, unwavering, but that didn't seem to convince him. He shook his head aggressively, biting down at his bottom lip. "Yes I am, I - I can't sleep because..."

Another head shake. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion, what was he trying to tell me. I stood, leaning down to press a kiss against his forehead, deciding it would be best to change the topic. "How about we get some rest, hmm?"

He opened his eyes slowly, meeting my gaze before nodding his head. Pulling back I reached over him, tugging down the blankets and coaxing him to lay down despite not drinking his tea. Logan did, nose wrinkling and sniffling as I tucked him in. He took the moment that I leaned over him to wrap his arms around my neck, pulling me down on top of him. He nuzzled his head into the crook of my neck, "Please don't-" I cooed against his ear before he could finish his statement, running my hands through his thick locks to the best of my ability.

Holy fuck, what was I going to do now?