I Really, Really, Really Like You

Thanksgiving break was ending soon, which meant two things. One, Liam would finally be able to go back to his dorm for his things. After discussing it, we had come to the conclusion that it would be easier to gather Liam's belongings when Jenn was at one of her classes. Currently, we didn't know if she was spending Thanksgiving break at their shared dorm or in her hometown, but it was also too risky to check. So waiting it was. Two, the end of Thanksgiving break also meant that Kyle would soon be boarding a plane back home.

Tugging his hand, I make my way stealthily through the crowd, ignoring the looks. Despite having discussed his return, it was still hard. Kyle, unlike me, had already visited the therapist for the last time, he was no longer needed in the case building and because he was technically still a minor, it would be unethical for them to call him forward in the court - if the case got that far. This was especially the case when Kyle's testimony only served to prove Kai's timeline of when he was assaulted. Either way, it was unknown if my father would do anything. The case was still pending, and because he wasn't going to go to jail anyway, the possibility of him turning on Kyle again only seemed to increase.

The scar decorating my thigh burned at the implication.

"Logan." Kyle called, pulling me back as a crowd of girls bustled in front of me. I startled out of my trance, turning back to look at him with a sheepish smile. Oops. Our eyes met, and his sparkled with recognition, like he knew, he - "I told you, I'll be fine. Monroe's foster parents let me move in with them after you left."

But only because they found out about dad's negligence towards you—

His grip tightened around mine, our gazes clashing. Out of the two of us, Kyle took after our father. But even then, his appearance didn't scare me. It never had. Because I had never compared him to our father, there was nothing to ever compare, "I'll be fine."

And I couldn't stop myself from believing in him.

"Why did you bring me here anyways?" Sweetness filled my senses as I licked my ice cream once more. We were in the food court of the mall posted about half a mile away from the university. Kyle himself was busy biting down on a large pretzel, crumbs decorating the sides of his mouth.

"Obviously to help me buy panties." I teased, snorting when Kyle's stare narrowed at me. Like Tripp, it was unusual, and it made me relent easily. "I just wanted to hang out with you one last time before tomorrow."

Kyle leans forward on the small table, putting his elbows on the dirty tabletop, chewing thoughtfully. "You're doing it again."

My nose scrunches upward in confusion, "Doing what?"

"Lying." He chews, the pretzel suddenly becoming more appealing than I originally thought. "You were never a good liar."

Without asking, I lean forward on my seat, chomping down on the end of his pretzel before pulling back. Half because I really wanted to try it and half because I want to buy myself time before answering. Or, before admitting. It's true, there was something else to it. Deep down I know Kyle is going to be alright. This entire situation brought so much to us.

It brought us closure in knowing that our mother had moved on, and that it wasn't truly our fault that she left us. It brought out the truth about our father and it brought us understanding. Kyle, being the stronger of the two, would go back and continue high school. And unlike before, we would be calling and texting often. He would come over for Christmas break with his boyfriend and I would go over with Tripp for his graduation. It wasn't ideal, but it worked out.

"I wanted to know how you deal with dad's words." With the memories, and the shards of glass that lay sparse against our skin, pressing into us unwantedly at any given moment. I would like to believe that I had gotten better at ignoring them, but that's just a lie. At home it was easier, because when I felt like it was too much for me I would drink, or workout until I passed out, or sleep with someone just because I could.

Now, all those unhealthy behaviors combined into one. And while it doesn't happen as frequently as it did when I first began questioning my feelings and sexuality, it was still unhealthy. I have Tripp, and Liam and Kai, sure. But relying on them constantly is also unhealthy, I want to be able to move past the words on my own. To confront them with my own strength and determination when the time comes.

Kyle looked thoughtful for a moment, "Logan, dad will always be in our minds. No matter how hard we try to block him out the best thing you can do is find ways to override what he says. Hmm, I usually think of you."

Oh-ho? I bat my eyes at him, grinning cheekily. He groans, "Nevermind, I think of Monroe."

"No take-backs!" I kick him from under the table, he kicks me back. "Tell me what you meant."

"I mean, I think of all the things you told me when dad berated us. After everything that's happened I think it's pretty clear that I care more about what you think than about what thought. And I know that you don't think anything negative of me, so that overrides memories or dad or mom." The confession makes me bashful and I do quick work of hiding my blushing cheeks with the help of my phone.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

My GPA would like to say otherwise baby

Ignoring him, I look back over at my brother. "You put me on such a high pedestal."

He nods, agreeing easily. It sends my heart into overdrive, "I do. You're my brother, Logan, my family. I know I don't say it often but I love you."

Holy-, I hide my face in my elbows, shoving my ice cream in Kyle's hold so it doesn't go to waste. "Wait, go away, you're going to make me cry." In the back of my mind, I can see him shrugging, taking full advantage of the quietness to finish his snack. Due to our home life, me and Kyle were never open with our feelings. At home, we tried to stay as quiet as possible, only truly speaking when we were at school or over at Tripp's. So, the words catch me off guard, in a good way. In a way. After a while, I peek up from the fold of my arms, blinking away any unshed tears. "I love you too."

Handing me back my half-finished ice cream, Kyle grins. "I know, you ready to head back?"

I nod, pulling out my phone again as he gathers our things.

I really, really, really like you

I love you too Logan.

A full body shudder. At least one of us is better at communicating our emotions.

Back in the dorm I cuddle up against Kyle on Tripp's bed, grinning teasingly at him. We had started talking about Monroe, his two year boyfriend and from what I could gather, my brother absolutely adored him. "Do you love him?"

"Shut up, Logan."

"Come on," I pout, leaning back slightly to look at my brother. "You can tell me! I'm your trustworthy big bro," Making my voice lower, I whisper, "The one on the pedestal."

I wiggle my eyebrows as he groans in annoyance next to me, "I should've denied that. You're never going to let me live that down, huh?"

"Nope." I make a show of popping the 'p', getting comfortable against him once more. There's silence once more, of course, Kyle hated unnecessary noise. "Tripp is a better cuddler than you."

Another groan, "No shit Sherlock."

I snort, "That reference is so old dude, like come on, do better. But also, don't curse in my household."

"Go die."

"Thou shall not wish death upon others." I reply sophisticatedly, holding back a laugh by biting down on my bottom lip.

"It's ill, not death, dumbass." He corrects, heaving a large sigh. "I hate you."

I took the opportunity to give him the last push, knowing he heard the footsteps outside the door as much as I did. "Oh-ho, au contraire, you were saying the opposite less than an hour ago."

"Ugh," He pushed me off, "Tripp!" The bedroom door opens instantly, revealing a nosy Tripp. I almost snorted at the sight, rolling onto my back as Kyle thanked God under his breath, climbing off the bed. "Switch with me, he's annoying."

Cue the biggest pout in the world. I extend my arms out to Tripp as my brother leaves the room, "I'm annoying?"

Tripp sends me a soft smile as he climbs onto the bed, settling into my open arms, his weight grounding me against the bed. "Not to me. But you were teasing him, so it's to be expected."

"You eavesdropper."

Not denying it, Tripp snuggles into my neck, pressing open-mouthed kisses into my collarbone. I adjust us, moving my hands so they comb through his hair, and opening my legs so he can settle more comfortably between them. "Couldn't help it. Missed you."

Since it was essentially Kyle's last weekend here, I had unofficially decided to try and spend the morning with him for brotherly bonding. Which ultimately left Tripp alone. I mean, if you count spending five hours with Kai and Liam alone.

"I missed you too." I murmur, using my hold on his hair to tug his face upwards and connect our lips together. They slot together in a slow kiss, and I sigh against him, relishing in the comfort and warmth that I always felt around Tripp.

Pulling back I slot our noses together, catching my breath.

"I meant it." I state, referring to the text message.

Tripp, unlike his usual self, remained serious, eyes sparkling. "I did too, with my entire being."

I love you.