"This is the last time," I say, pulling my boots back on. I have a shift starting in a half hour and I didn't exactly plan on stopping here. Except, I forgot my spare uniform last time I was here and had to come by again to grab it.

"Whatever you say," Paige muses, pulling her shoulder length curls up into a bun.

I say it every time, but then I always end up back here. I usually only come by after a rough shift because I know she gets it. She's been to hell and back, and somehow always knows the right thing to say to me.

"I'm serious," I insist, making sure I have everything. I don't need another reason to come back.

She comes up behind me and presses a kiss to my cheek, "I know you are. Have a good shift."

I resist the pull of a smile and shake my head at her, "I plan to." As Paige walks away, I'm reminded again of her past from the snaking scars on her neck. She is the strongest person I know. Except she's also my brother's ex-fiancée, so there's that.

I didn't mean for it to happen the first time, let alone however many times since. It's a lame excuse, but I was lonely and she was there. Now after that... I don't have an excuse. There's just a sort of understanding between us where she gets me in a way that no one else does.

It's been a year since I finished my time at the academy, and four months since I finished my probationary period. The house I got stationed at has nice people, I'm still grasping the idea of separating my life from work. It's hard seeing all the horrible things people can do during my shift and then try to shift back to normalcy for the next forty-eight hours before returning back to my shift.

Last week we responded to an apartment building fire and the little girl I rescued didn't make it. It's hard to forget the ones you lose on a call, but I wouldn't trade what we do for anything. I worked too hard to get to where I am.

The people from third shift are still here when I get to the house, no doubt eager for their relief to show up. "Hey Barbie, you're early today." Milo comments, resulting in me rolling my eyes.

It was a nickname that appeared early on, "Nice to see you too." If I'm being honest, I don't mind it so much anymore. I know it's a term of endearment now, even if it didn't feel like it at first. "How was the shift? It was a full moon," I tease, knowing fully well how crazy they can get. I made the mistake of questioning the validity my first full moon shift. It's easier to say that it was crazy than to try and explain it.

Ralph shakes his head, "Had a few car accidents, but nothing too crazy for once."

It's reassuring to hear that, but the odds of a slow night happening two nights in a row are slim. Nearly impossible actually.

"Hope you're well rested rookie," One of the old timers jokes from the couch.

"I'm not the rookie anymore, I got my official placement here months ago." I respond, heading towards the locker room.

I unpack my bag, hesitating slightly before grabbing my spare uniform. I should never have gone to Paige's this morning. If Maddox were to find out, I know exactly how it would go over. Yet, I continue to go over there anyway.

The sound of footsteps catches my attention, and I set the uniform on a shelf in my locker before looking to see who it is. I relax when I see that it's just Linc. "Where'd you disappear to this morning? I thought we were carpooling today."

I shrug, putting the rest of my things in my locker. "I had an errand to run. Next time we can."

"You owe me for the taxi I had to take to get here since you bailed for an errand," He claps me on the shoulder before heading to his locker further down.

"Linc, I really did have an errand to run."

He grins at me, "Sure you did."

"What are you knuckleheads talking about?" Chase's voice asks as I hear the squeak of more boots coming into the locker room.

"Nothing-" I protest nonchalantly while Linc shakes his head.

"The errand that Dean had to run this morning."

"Are you sure he was even home to begin with? We've all seen how girls react to Barbie here on calls. That's before they even find out he has deep pockets," Vince teases.

I give them an annoyed look, "You guys have too much free time. I'm not the one with the deep pockets, you're thinking of the rest of my family." Which is true, my pockets are nothing compared to Maddox's and my cousin Hayes's. My dad finally released the rest of my trust fund, but I try not to dip into it if I can help it. That money could always be taken away again and I'd rather not be left unprepared like last time.

"Yeah right, we've all seen your car and the apartment that you and Linc live in." Chase says, putting his own things away into his locker.

The car was a Christmas gift from Maddox as an attempt to make up for our years of estrangement. It's a good car and I tried telling him it was too much, but he didn't want to listen to me. The apartment really isn't even that nice, it just has more square footage than everyone else's homes. "Linc lives with me because my roommate moved in with her boyfriend. I offered the room to whoever wanted it, he just asked first."

Cassidy moved in with Maddox a few months after they got back together again. I didn't want to stay there by myself, plus I figured it would be a good way to get on the good side of the crew here. Linc has ended up becoming one of my best friends. One of my favorite things about working here is that everyone treats the other like family.

"And I thank God every day for making that decision. Except you would all be disappointed to find that the only women in the apartment for Dean are his family." Linc informs them even though I would bet this week's paycheck they don't believe him. It is true though. Paige rarely comes over to the apartment, usually it's with Cassidy to hangout.

Even Linc knows that she's off-limits.

"And my kid is going to the Olympics. I'll believe it when I see it," Vince comments.

I shrug them off, "Believe what you want, but I really did have an errand to run this morning." An errand is certainly one way to describe it.

It doesn't take long until the bells ring and our rig is called, "Truck 47 grease fire." I quickly pull my turnout gear on as I get into the truck alongside Vince and Chase.

"You know we're just busting your balls right?" Chase says quietly, and I push a smile on my face.

"I know, it's not like it's my first day," I try to joke and Vince glances over at us.

"You look like someone kicked your puppy."

"I'd have to have a dog for that to happen, but I'm fine."

And I really am fine. I just feel guilty for seeing Paige again. But it doesn't matter right now, I need to focus or that's when people get hurt.

Linc starts telling a story from the front about something that happened at the bar to Jonah, our lieutenant, who is pretty much ignoring him. Cassidy moved to part-time, only picking up a few shifts a month now. I recommended Linc for the position meaning that we spend just about all of our time together.

We arrive at a small diner smoking a lot more than it should be for a just a grease fire. From the time we got the call to the time we got here was only eight minutes tops, but it was enough time for it to escalate. "Grab your masks; Barbie, Vince you're with me on looking for anyone inside. Linc, Chase work on points to ventilate from the outside so we can get extinguishers in there."

I pull my helmet off to adjust my mask before following Vince and Jonah. It's dim with not a lot of visibility. I can't imagine there's a whole lot of people here, but you never know. Never assume and always double check.

Jonah heads immediately for the kitchen and I start checking the booths on the left of the building, closest to the kitchen while Vince takes the right.

"Fire department! Is anyone over here?" I shout, trying to see if there is anyone there with all the smoke. My god the visibility in here is terrible. "Fire department, call out!"

"Jonah, there's no one over here," Vince radios in. Then I hear something to my left.

"Here! I'm over here!"

I make sure my flashlight is on when I maneuver around knocked over stools that were blocking my path. She's holding onto her ankle and trying to cover her mouth with a towel. "Here take a few deep breathes," I break one of the biggest rules and take my mask off to give to her.

She takes a few deep breaths and tries to give it back to me, but I shake my head, "You need it more than I do. Do you think you can walk?" I cough a little bit and I can feel my eyes water, but I'll be fine.

"I don't know, it's my ankle." She says lifting the oxygen mask for a second.

"I'm going to lift you okay?"

The woman nods and I place my arms under her knees and shoulders to lift her up. Compared to some of the gear we have to carry, this is light work. I kick the stools out of my way and try to avoid bumping into anything else, but the smoke has gotten pretty bad.

I have full on tears streaming from my eyes at this point and my throat is burning, but once I find the exit, I take in a few deep breaths of air. I set the woman on the gurney the paramedics have brought over before they try to take me to the ambulance also. "I'm fine, focus on her," I insist coughing hoarsely.

Jonah comes out of the building with Vince right behind him, "Benson, what the hell were you thinking taking your mask off?" He demands and I try to find my words. The fact he called me Benson and not Barbie lets me know I'm in deep shit.

"Lieutenant I-"

"No, there is nothing to say. You weren't thinking. Don't you ever do that shit again." He says brushing past me now.

Vince pats me on the shoulder, "It was a good save. He's right, but don't take it personally. Just do better next time."

I take my gloves off and run my hand through my hair out of frustration. I don't get why he is so mad, I saved the girl and I'm fine. Yeah, I broke a rule, but it wasn't the first time I'd done it. There was no reason for him to blow up.

After we finish overhaul, I spend the rest of the ride back to the house silent. Getting chewed out in front of everyone at the scene has soured whatever hope I had of recovering my mood for the day.

I decided to spend my energy cooking because none of the guys even bothered the kitchen after realizing I knew how to cook. My mom made sure it was something I could do. Thankfully, it's come in handy here.

"What's for lunch?" Linc asks walking into the room, probably having smelt the aroma of the lasagna in the oven.

"Lasagna," I respond tightly, setting down the knife I was using to slice the loaf of bread. "Do you know why Jonah freaked earlier?"

Linc hesitates which is something he rarely does, "Well Dean, you know why there was a spot open for you here right?"

"I didn't ask much about it, but I knew someone from the shift died on duty. I think the name was York?" I'm trying to wrack my brain because I know I heard about it. I just can't remember.

"Yeah. He was Jonah's best friend. He had gone back into a warehouse fire by himself for a final victim after we were told there was someone still in there. York never came back out because the building interfered with our radios and we didn't hear the mayday. After a bit of waiting, Jonah went in himself to find him. He found the victim alive because York gave the guy his oxygen mask, but he died of smoke inhalation. Then his spot was open for you."

I let his words sink in because now it makes sense. "Hence why he reacted the way he did earlier."

Linc nods, "Exactly. Just because you were fine this time, doesn't mean you'll be fine next time."

Those seem to be the words that everyone around here lives by. It's not reassuring.

I wasn't surprised when I found myself at Paige's immediately after shift.