trigger warning: mentions of miscarriage.

Viviana sat at her sister's place, heart broken, unable to put together what was going on. Although so common, it felt like Viviana's heart was ripped out of her chest.

She lost the baby. After going in for her ten week check up, something she didn't do in her last pregnancy, she wanted to hear the heartbeat, and there wasn't one. She didn't even know she miscarried until she got to that appointment.

After all the stress she went through in just that short time, telling Christian she was pregnant, him finding the test, and trying to process that she was going to be a mom of 2, she lost their baby. Nothing wrong was done, just so happened to occur to her. She didn't deserve that.

"I wish there was something I could do..." Gia said, wrapping her sister in her arms. "I feel terrible, you don't deserve this.."

Viviana sniffled, laying her head on her sister's shoulder, "He's going to be so mad.."

Gia shook her head, "No he won't! Vi, he's going to be caring for you. He won't be mad at you, okay? Don't think like that." She rubbed Viviana's back, trying to comfort her sister as much as she could.

"I already was scared shitless to tell him and my stupid ass put the test in the shower. He went in the shower and came out, looking at me and asked if I was going to hide the pregnancy until I was through my first trimester again.." Viviana took a deep breath, "I don't even know how I'm going to tell him."

"Just take it with a slow stride...I'm sure he'll understand, Vi."

****

"Wait, what?" Christian asked, the hurt in his voice was prominent.

"I...The baby is gone, Christian..." Viviana said, almost in a whisper trying to fight back the urge from bursting into a sobbing fit.

Christian instantly embraced his wife in his arms, kissing her head. "Vivi..." He said softly, "I am so sorry, beautiful. So so sorry..." He sniffled, tears rolling down his cheeks as he tried to grasp the news himself.

Viviana looked at him, wiping under his eyes, "It's okay...I'm okay.." She replied, moving to wrap her arms around his waist. "It happens often, honestly. I did nothing wrong, nothing really gave me warning signs.."

"I still am sorry and feel like shit. I could've been a little bit more forthcoming about it, the way I approached you was rude and I was a little bit standoff-ish." Christian said, rubbing her side, "Are you okay, though?"

"I'm okay," She said quietly, "It's not your fault, and it's not mine. We can talk about this more when we put Eiley to bed.." Viviana smiled small, pulling away from the hug.

Christian nodded, watching as she pulled away from the hug and wiped under her eyes. "Yeah, baby, of course. Why don't you go sit down? I'll get dinner started. Eiley's missed you all day," He said, looking over at Eiley who stood in her playpen whining.

"I missed my sweet, little Eiley girl!" Viviana smiled and picked Eiley up, the smile never leaving her face as Eiley gave her a sloppy kiss on the cheek. She moved and sat on the couch with Eiley as Christian prepared dinner.

Christian walked over with dinner, smiling as he saw how loving Viviana was with Eiley and how happy she made their daughter. "You feeling okay, babe?" He asked, setting the plate on the table as he sat next to his wife.

"Yeah, some cramping earlier, but I'm doing good, babe. Thank you.." She reassured him, kissing his cheek.

"Just making sure.." Christian said, running his fingers through Eiley's hair as he looked at his beautiful wife.

****

"So what were you wanting to talk about?" Christian asked as he shut their bedroom door after putting Eiley in her room for the night.

"I know I just had a miscarriage, but I really do want another baby.." Viviana admitted, looking at him, "Just one more if allowed, I think Eiley deserves to be an older sister..It's not fair to her to be an only child.."

Christian nodded, sitting next to her. "I think that's a feasible thing," He kissed her cheek, "I think that Eiley would love being a big sister, she would be amazing." He smiled small, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her in close.

"She would be so excited. She's always carrying around her baby doll, acting like she's their big sister," Viviana laughed quietly, wrapping her arms around his neck, "I just, I was nervous at first to get pregnant again, but I know how amazing of a dad you are with Eiley...Another baby would just make my heart explode watching you raise them with me." She laid her head on his shoulder, sighing, "I know miscarriages are common in this time frame of the pregnancy, but, I was ready to have another one..." She sniffled, finally letting everything hit her as she tried so hard to fight away the pain.

Christian tightened his grip around her, kissing the top of her head, "Oh, baby.." He supported her, rubbing her back as she cried, "I know, we'll have that little miracle one day, I promise."

"I love you.." Vivi said quietly, sniffling again as she moved to sit in his lap, shaking her head as she let the wave of emotions hit her.

They didn't deserve this. This was the last thing the two needed. The pain was unbearable to Viviana, she just wanted to have a happy life with her husband, her daughter, and their child that once was growing in her.

****

Viviana slept soundly through the night in her husband's arms. Christian on the other hand? Tossed and turned all night. He couldn't sleep worth his life last night. Everything about Viviana having a miscarriage just made him stir awake constantly. The nightmares rotted his brain, he wasn't able to shake the fact that their baby was gone; It wasn't either of their faults, but for some reason, he just put all the blame on himself.

He was mad when Viviana didn't tell him and he found the positive test in the shower. It was almost like she didn't want to tell him again. She didn't tell him until she was nearly thirteen weeks along, it was something that he didn't want her to keep from him.

He got up out of bed, walking into Eiley's bedroom to see his daughter was still sound asleep in her bed. Oh how he loved his little girl; He would do anything for her and for Viviana. Christian wanted more than anything to give Eiley a little sibling, she would be beyond excited to have a little sibling to have look up to her.

But life wasn't fair to him or his family.