《The Leader》19
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They're worried about me. Tera and Finn are concerned. I know that. I just can't bring myself to talk to them about what had happened. Replaying it over and over in my head is one thing, but talking about it makes it real.
The sound of voices nearing the dormitory makes me bury my face in the pillow even more. I pull the blanket on over my head to keep anyone from seeing me like this. Maybe they will get the hint that I am not wanting to talk to anyone.
"All right." The blanket is pulled from my grip and away from the bed. "Tera and I are worried about you. I understand you're upset and don't want to talk to anyone, but you need to talk to us so we can try and help."
"Finn, please--"
"Rori, talking about what's upsetting you may help you feel better." Finn sits on the edge of the bed, and grabs my hand.
"What if it doesn't?"
"Then we'll try and help you feel better," he says. "We'll try and help you through it."
"Thank you," I say.
"It's no problem."
"We had burgers for dinner tonight," Tera says, making her way toward us, "but I convinced a lunch lady to let me have leftover soup from yesterday."
"I'm not really hungry." I sit up and wrap my arms around my knees.
"You haven't eaten since this morning," she says. "You need to eat."
I sigh and take the bowl of soup. "Thank you."
"It's no problem," Tera says.
Finn scoots over to give her some room and she settles cross-legged in front of me.
"I know you probably don't feel like talking," Tera says, "but getting it off your chest may help you feel better."
I wrap my arms around my knees and nod my head. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. "All right, I'll tell you what happened."
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***
I sit up abruptly and wipe at my eyes furiously, trying to stop the tears from falling down. I close my eyes and focus on my breathing.
I open my eyes and glance at the figure at the side of the room. Eric sits behind the monitor, his eyes on the floor and his shoulders slouched. He looks defeated.
"Eric, are you okay?" I slowly stand to my feet and walk toward him. I reach my hand out to rub his shoulder but he pulls away from me.
"No, I am not okay." He stands up and backs away from me. "You expect me to be okay after what I just saw?"
"What are you talking about?"
"You don't remember the part about your little plan?" His face hardens and is emotionless as he stares at me. "I should have known all along."
My eyebrows knit together as I try to figure out what he's talking about. It then hits me. In my landscape, Max said a "little birdy" told him I was just using Eric to become a leader.
"Eric, you have to believe me," I say, my voice as sincere as possible. "I couldn't care less about having a leadership position. I really like you and care about you."
"Your pathetic lies aren't going to get inside my head any more." He picks up his stool and throws it across the room. "I can't believe I let a tree-hugging, backstabbing Amity side track me."
"Eric, I'm not--"
"That's not the most unbelievable part." He laughs drily as his eyes lock with mine. "You know, I thought you were different. I thought we had something real."
"We do have something real," I say, stepping closer to him, ignoring the tears rushing from my eyes. "Eric, I have no idea why that was in my landscape, but it's not true. Please, believe me."
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"Just stop," he shouts, making me flinch. He takes a few deep breaths and says, "Just leave."
"Eric, please--"
"I said leave," he says.
As I grab the handle, he clears his throat. I glance back, hopeful that he's changed his mind and that he doesn't really want me to leave.
"One more thing," he says, his back toward me and his voice low. "You and I are done."
***
"Rori, you can do this." Tera rests her hands on my upper arms and smiles at me. "All you have to do is make it through the landscapes and a couple meals before you can do anything you want. And by that, I mean have free time to hang out with your friends."
I crack a smile at her attempt at trying to make me feel better. Oddly enough, it is kind of working. I really did get lucky in the friend department.
"Are we ready?" Finn says, walking to us. Tera looks to me for confirmation and I nod.
Tera links our arms together and says, "Let's get this show on the road."
The walk to the fear landscape room was longer than usual. The fact that Eric would be in there, and that he definitely doesn't want to see me, must have slowed me down.
All the other initiates seem to be in the room when the three of us get there. We take our seats on our side of the room as Four enters the waiting room from the landscape room.
"All right, today we will only be going through one of your fears," Four says, silencing all conversations. "Eric had some leader business to attend to, so I'll be the only one administering the landscapes."
I have no idea whether to be relieved or upset. I am relieved because being around him after yesterday would be unbearably awkward. I am upset because I was hoping we would have a chance to talk, but I guess that is not going to happen today.
"Up first is Rori," Four says.
I stand up and follow after him. This feels weird for two reasons. The first is because I never go first. And the second is because I have never had Four administer my landscape. I've always had Eric...
"Have a seat." He closes the door behind me and takes a seat behind the monitor.
I sit in the chair and watch him prep the syringe before he stands and makes his way to me.
"You must feel weird," he comments.
"What makes you say that?" I raise a brow, waiting for him to explain.
"Oh, I've noticed that Eric always administers your test," he says. "Not only that, but you're always the last initiate to go."
"That's probably because we were friends," I say, hoping my cheeks don't betray me.
"I couldn't help but notice you said were, as in past tense." He moves the hair away from my neck and glances back up at me. "You two aren't friends anymore?"
"I'm not sure," I say, breaking eye contact. "He got upset over something that was said it my landscape yesterday."
"He just needs some time to cool down that hot head of his," Four says with a chuckles. "Wait a day or two and then try and talk to him."
"Thanks for the advice, Four."
"It's no problem." He inserts the serum into my neck and manages a small smile. "Good luck."
A/N: Hey, everyone! Thanks for reading! I hope you liked this chapter, and if you did, please vote and comment!
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