《Devils in The Details》Guilt
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I waited exactly three days for my alpha to bring up the situation with the car. Three whole days and my alpha hasn't made a peep about it. Callan's mind had absorbed so much information, his growth exponential. I was proud of him. To the moon and back. Something in my gut worried me about the car situation though. It had set my alpha on edge, but he was acting like nothing had happened.
We had finished most of the fruit and nearly all the vegetable that we had bought at the farmer's market. I knew it wouldn't be hard to convince Callan to go back once a week to the town; if not for just the bookstore and the market. I think the more he was integrated into society and what he learned in his books, it would be far more advantageous. Either way, I'd have to figure out a way for us to see how much money his Grandfather had left him so we didn't needlessly spend it all by accident.
I did have an idea for my alpha since he seemed very interested in the wood work the older gentleman was doing in his store. If all things went well, I think I could make my alpha very happy with my idea. That would have to happen later though. As much as it already pained me for my alpha to be gone when he went to chop wood, and sometimes hunt without me, my inner omega did not like leaving the house. It wasn't some need to stay at home and cook all day for my alpha. In fact Callan and I loved to cook and hunt together. It was that, ever since that unwanted scent was in the house, my omega side has been a tight bundle of nerves.
Someone had been in our den. Someone in our home where our future pups would grow up. Someone disrespected the obvious boundary my alpha always remarked, disregarding where I felt the safest. They left their scent on purpose and I wanted to dig my claws in and rip. My alpha had a hard life, details I was scared to know about, and these people just came in without any care.
I heaved out a sigh. I had washed half the laundry today in the river, most of the sheets hanging outside. It was still warm in the afternoons, but fall was sure to come soon.
I had my mate place two large posts next to the vegetable garden with twine between them. It took us a solid day to find a fallen tree, but my mate's skill with an axe was unrivaled. The posts themselves weren't perfectly straight since we didn't have the tools, but that was beside the point.
Alpha looked ecstatic at not having to rotate the laundry between places by the fireplace anymore and it was much faster. I didn't like my alpha doing all the chores by himself while I became a lump on the couch. So we compromised, where I help with laundry while he hunts nearby; while also hunting with him sometimes. I was getting much better at my rabbit hunting.
I completely face planted into a pile of mud when I tried to catch a pheasant the other day. My mate laughed out loud for the first time, having shifted in surprise. I would have been stunned by the sound if I hadn't tackled him into said mud pile. I had currently been sifting through the books on the bookshelf, starting one of the books that was a romantic mystery novel. Sitting on the wide windowsill with sunlight streaming in while I read, made me feel like a sunbathed cat. Absolutely happy in the serenity. Looking through the window, the sun was no longer in the center of the sky, most of the damp spots on the sheets and some of the clothes no longer visible. When we go back to the town I would like to convince my alpha to get a basket. It would be much easier to carry all the laundry that way. Both to the river and back.
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I folded the corner of the page I was reading, setting it on the windowsill. The breeze ruffled my hair, breathing in the deep scent of pine and nature. It was so calming out here. Though it was normal for wolves to stay in packs, just having it be me and alpha was perfect. Folding the laundry, my head snapped up at the sound of twigs breaking. I looked behind the sheets still on the clothesline, my eyes narrowing. I couldn't see anything between the lumbering tree trunks, sniffing the air. I couldn't place a scent, straining my ears. Whatever I heard had gone by now.
"Omega?"
I swiveled around in surprise, sighing in relief at my alpha coming towards me. He set the many logs down by the side of the house where his axe was resting. Callan wrapped his arms around my waist, nuzzling against my neck. I smiled happily, turning my head to kiss him oh so softly. Callan hummed against my lips, cupping my cheek. I pulled away slowly from his tantalizing lips, brushing my thumb along one of the scars over his right eye.
"Pretty omega," Callan rumbled deep in his chest, his callused thumb brushing my bottom lip. I flushed again at the statement, shyly looking away with a smile on my lips. Callan huffed, picking me up promptly along with the laundry that I had folded into my arms. I laughed at Callan's antics, telling him to start a fire while I collect the rest of the laundry. Callan grumbled at me but did as I had asked regardless.
The afternoon had slowly moved on to night, my mind having wandered most of the day. I had blinked out of a stupor several times from my mate calling my name. He was starting to look worried, but my own thoughts were in turmoil. We had potatoes, green beans and rabbit for dinner, both of us happily munching away on our food. Callan had placed me onto the couch, picking up the second first grade level book I had bought, getting comfortable between my legs. I could see him tracing the words on the covers along with the wolf, a boy, and a bunch of sheep on the cover.
I bit my lip, closing the book right when Callan opened it. Callan tilted his head back at me curiously. I slipped out from behind him, making Callan sit up. His brows were furrowed, looking at the book in his hands and then back to me.
"You do not want to read today omega?" Callan asked. My heart lurched at the sadness in his voice, smiling softly at him. My alpha seemed to calm down at my smile, but I needed to ask my questions. Callan was not going to say anything or bring it up.
"I need to ask you something first, Callan," I said, standing up and gently taking the book from him, setting it on top of the other books still in the book bag.
"What?" Callan asked, cupping one of my cheeks with his large, warm hand. I placed my hand over top of his, nuzzling against it.
"Callan, who was in the car?" I asked. My alpha's brows furrowed at me for a second.
"The thing that came from the house a few days ago. It makes the loud sound," I said. Callan's eye cleared with understanding before scowling, looking away from me.
"Callan, honey, who was in the car? Why did they come into our house? Are they the ones that pay for the water? Are they part of a pack? What pack are they from? Is there a pack close to here that I don't know about? Why haven't you said—"
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Callan stood up suddenly, pressing his fingers against my lips to stop my questions from spilling. My alpha's amber eye flitted to a darker gold, my heart stuttering in my chest. I could scent his powerful pheromones leaving him, making my neck tilt in submission on its own. My knees started to shake, but it wasn't because I was scared of my alpha. It was because his presence was so powerful, my body felt as though it had no other choice but to become a limp marionette in his presence.
"I do not want talk about," Callan said sternly. I had never heard him sound like that before. He didn't sound angry just, resigned. Like he knew I was going to ask him at some point.
"But Callan–"
My alpha only shook his head, moving away from me and to the bedroom. He shut the door quietly but he could have slammed it at that point, I was so stunned. Callan just shut off. Shut off the world. Shut off me. I felt my heart hammering in my chest, my throat dry as I tried to swallow several times. I bit my lip, feeling a familiar sting in my nose.
What right did I have to cry? Callan clearly didn't want me to know. Yet, the ache in my chest told me differently. I thought Callan could trust me. At least enough to let me know what was going on. Whoever had been in the car made my alpha nervous, which had put me completely on edge. If Callan was wary, they must be dangerous. Callan was by far the strongest and most formidable alpha werewolf I had ever seen. His sense of danger was unparalleled, his moral compass having not been tainted or coaxed by the outside world.
I bit my lip, sitting with my knees pulled up to my chest; my back resting against the couch. My toes were warmed nicely by the fire as I curled up in a ball. Was it bad for me to know? Couldn't he at least just tell me why I couldn't know? Would that be so hard?
I buried my head against my knees, not sure what I could do. Did I ruin things? I knew Callan wouldn't leave me, my soft alpha too kind for such a thing. Hundreds of questions were running in rampant circles in my mind, absolutely exhausting me. The moon was clearly high in the sky now with stars littered around it. The moonlight came easily through the window, showing that the fire had dwindled. The logs were still burning within, a warm red and orange flittering underneath the bark.
I fell asleep.
————————☆—————————
Thwack!
I blurrily blinked open my eyes, sunlight streaming in through the large front window. I rubbed the crusted sand from my eyes, becoming more aware of my surroundings. Then the realization hit me. I had slept out in the living room all night. The fire had long grown cold, the sunlight from the window a small warmth against my face. I moved to stand, knowing my body was going to be stiff. As I moved, the duvet from the bedroom slipped off of me. My hand caressed the blanket around me, knowing my alpha must have put it around me some time during the night or maybe early this morning. I felt tears prick my eyes at the gesture, burying my face into the duvet. My mate's scent was all over it and it must have been why I had fallen asleep so deeply even with my awkward position on the floor.
I rubbed what tears had escaped me onto the duvet, carefully getting up off the floor. I stretched a bit to get some of the kinks out, carrying the duvet back to the bed, tucking it around the edges of the mattress until the bed was fully made again.
I couldn't decipher the scent my alpha had let out within the bedroom, making me debate between it being sad or upset. I shook my head, quickly using the bathroom to do my usual morning routines. I nuzzled quickly into his towel, heading to the kitchen to either snack on some fruit or see if I could whip up something easily.
My footsteps faltered though in the dining room, seeing a plate of potatoes and onions on the table with a small helping of the last of the blueberries to the side. What really had a cry get stuck in my throat were the wildflowers that were placed next to the plate. They were obviously freshly picked with dirt still clinging to their roots. It seemed my mate tried to wash off some of the dirt what with a small amount of water having puddled around the roots. How my mate had found these flowers I didn't know. There were small periwinkle blue flowers along with baby's breath and soft summer yellow ones. I buried my nose into the flowers, tears pricking my eyes as their soft sweet scent went up my nose. A soft croon left my lips before I could stop it.
I bit my lip harder, wanting to run outside and hug the daylights out of my mate. The swinging chop of an axe against wood made me think that my mate still needed some time for himself to think things out. Which I would gladly give to him. I sat cross-legged in the chair at the table, slowly eating and savoring the potatoes and onions my mate had made for me. He had added a dash of salt and pepper to them making them extra tasty. I happily gobbled up the blueberries, quickly cleaning my plate. I grabbed the flowers on the table and held them against my chest.
I nervously sat in the windowsill, seeing my mate's gorgeous figure through the glass. His muscles gleaming in the sunlight as he worked. I pressed my forehead against the glass, absentmindedly picking up the book I had left on my seat the day before. I saw my mate's head turn to the window and I knew alpha saw me. I placed the tips of my fingers against the window as though every single part of me was reaching out for him; calling for him. My mate looked away from me, continuing to chop the wood. I sniffled a little, turning to the book in my hands. I opened it up, but found that after a few hours, I hadn't made it through two pages. I sighed in resignation, slipping the flowers my mate had gotten for me between the pages as my bookmark instead.
I decided to get off the windowsill, building up the wood within the fireplace again. It left only a few half cut logs on the floor. I looked about the house and felt my fingers have the urge to do something. There wasn't a bucket or anything so I decided to use the large stew pot instead. I would make sure to clean it out thoroughly later.
I filled it with lukewarm water and scrubbed some of the soap from the lip of the sink into it. I took a clean rag from on top of the counter and started to clean. I cleaned the kitchen and inside the fridge. I cleaned the dining room table, the chairs, the window of my smudgy prints from before. I took a dry cloth to dust off the top of the mantle of the fireplace and several of the books along with the lone armchair that seemed seldom used by either myself or my alpha. I swept up the wood pieces where the logs were normally kept. I dusted or wet washed what I could find, fluffing up the pillow in the bedroom and washing all the windows in the house; even if there were only a few. I cleaned up the bathroom which I would need to make sure to do regularly from now on. I then got to washing the floors by hand, needing to pour out the dirty water from before anyway. With my new water I made sure there wasn't too much soap, or the floors would be sticky. I was used to such manual work from having to do similar things in my own pack.
I organized everything in the house, par the things that were my mate's specifically. I organized the wardrobe, setting aside the old clothes so I could ask if those could be added to my cleaning pile of rags. This way, there was plenty of room inside. I didn't put any of my new clothes into the wardrobe, already knowing which side I wanted my clothes to be on and which side would be my mate's. I decided I would do that later, my heart aching at doing something like that. For now, I had finished up my cleaning, the place nearly gleaming. I felt pride in my heart, knowing it had been a long while since it had been cleaned. Not that my mate didn't take care of the place. It was likely from never having been taught to clean properly. Which would have been difficult I was sure if his Grandfather was blind from what Callan had told me.
The floors were spotless and the room scented softly of clean soap. The floors weren't sticky and the last of the scrubbed floor was drying off in the kitchen. The sunlight was making the dusted shelves and fireplace gleam along with the floors. I knew my next task would be to organize all of the books that were in the corner and bookcase. I had looked along the shelves and it didn't seem like they were in any particular order anyway.
My mate suddenly came through the front door, making me realize that the sunlight coming from the window was the last light of day. Callan didn't move. He slowly looked from the dining room, stretching his neck out slightly to see what he could in the kitchen. I had rested the large soup pot onto an old shirt to dry since I had scrubbed it squeaky clean after my using it.
He stretched his neck the other way to see what he could in the bedroom, turning his head slowly through the living room. His eyes finally landed on mine since I ended up standing by the windowsill. Neither of us moved or said anything. Callan looked to the side of his arms where he was carrying a heavy load of wood, so he could look down at his feet. I saw him scrunch his toes against the wood making me bite my lip. Was the wood slippery? I was walking barefoot on it myself and it seemed fine to me. Callan looked at me again, fully heading inside and shutting the door. He set the pile of wood in its usual place, heading to the bedroom.
My shoulders slumped at his lack of response. Callan had initially been a man of few words, but this was difficult for my heart. I sniffled, not wanting to cry. I heard the shower going, not sure what to do with my self. Should I make dinner? Should I just not move from the couch? Should I go up to him and yell at him until he yells back, just so I could get a response?
I sighed at the last idea knowing it was a terrible one. I picked up the novel I had been reading, seeing the warm hues of purples, pinks and soft orange dust the pine trees from the sunset. I looked at the flowers again that I had used as a bookmark, my fingers gingerly touching the very small petals.
My mate's scent hit me before my eyes saw him, feeling his finger tilt my chin up. I looked into his lone amber eye, his other one pearly. Both eyes stood out strongly in his handsome face. His milky eye highlighted by the two diagonal scars. One scar cutting through half his brow and down to the top of his cheek. The other scar next to it, cutting a little further down his cheek, closer to his ear. His hair was still wet from the shower, a few pieces sticking up. He had a small nick by his ear from where he must have shaved this morning. My alpha had on his favorite black t-shirt with the crescent moon on his chest.
I felt his thumb brush under my eye making me realize a tear had left me. Callan cupped both of my cheeks with his hands, hunching slightly so he could kiss me. I couldn't stop the broken whimper from leaving me, kissing him fervently. Callan moved to wrap his arms around me so my body was up against him. The book was still against my chest as though I was using it as a shield. Callan moved away slightly making me whimper sadly. My alpha took my book from my hands, tossing it neatly onto the windowsill. I was tugged into his arms again in the next second, wrapping my arms around his neck.
I stole as many kisses as I could from him, our breaths tangling with each other. My lips becoming swollen from the never ending onslaught from my alpha. His hands soothingly rubbed down my back to my hips, back and forth. My fingers had a mind of their own, playing with the hair against his neck. I felt his callused hands run under my shirt, tugging the offending article off of me. I sighed deeply against his mouth, his hands running up my belly to my chest. His thumb brushed against my nipple, a pleasant gasp leaving me. Callan claimed my lips again for himself, thumbing over my other nipple, making me quake. My never ending gasps fell from my lips. I nipped at his bottom lip, our tongues dancing together. Tasting, claiming, playing. His hands slid down to curl around my waist, his thumbs following the outline of the bottom of my rib cage.
I pulled away from the heavenly kisses that were turning my mind into mush. I brushed my nose against his, our lips fluttering against one another. Stealing one another's breaths. The tingle of fire and want burning from where our lips barely touched. A sweet caress.
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