I can't take it. I can't. I'm currently at my dad's apartment building in his spare room. He knew I was upset but I told him I was just feeling bad so I decided to come a day early. I also told him I had the stomach bug so he left me alone to sleep it off even after not seeing him for so long.

I cry until my face burns, my tears are so salty they hurt. Tan was so perfect I never expected this. Why would he do this? He broke my heart into pieces. I hold my phone in my hand and look at our pictures as I cry. I can't believe I was so in love, it hurts. I hate this feeling. I sob when the one of him holding my thongs in his hands laughing. There's a video of him shaking his butt on in the mirror when he asked me to show him how to dance, not that I know how. The next one though, gets me good. I can't talk or even cry when I see the video he took of me when he opened the door to my room. I had got my period and felt horrible and he showed up with flowers, pads, chocolate, and Zaxby's. He recorded the whole thing so he could see my face over and over again but I sent it to myself from his phone. I have this, I'm so heartbroken.

I run to the bathroom and lock the door as I puke everything up, damn this morning sickness. I feel myself losing weight daily instead of gaining it.

Brushing my teeth, I pick up my phone finding a doctor close by. I call and make an appointment for later today. I need vitamins or something, I look basically dead.

Walking into the kitchen I find my dad making breakfast. "Hey kiddo, I mean my young adult, so how does it feel being 18?"

I laugh at him and walk up hugging his chest "I feel awful, my stomach's upset and I have an appointment at 11, so I can get some antibiotics or something". He's not ready to know his 17 year old daughter got pregnant weeks ago, he just came back into my life.

"I'm so sorry honey, I hope you feel better, want some breakfast?" he asks.

"Of course, I'm so happy to be with you for Christmas, I haven't seen you in so long! Speaking of it's in a little over a week? So what do you like?" I question.

He starts, "I'm happy you are here, your mother was so evil, I'm glad that we still have a relationship so for Christmas I want us to be together all day cooking and laughing."

I smile and hug him again. "Thanks dad, we can definitely do that, I love you!"

He smiles, "Me too, now tell me what's wrong with you."

"Nothing, dad" I respond and turn my head. I refuse to cry more.

He grabs my arm and turns me to him, "I am not your mother, tell me what's wrong".

I look up with teary eyes, "You'll be disappointed in me".

"Never, I'll always love you, so tell me, please?" He pleas as I sink down into my chair.

"Okay, I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me at his football game yesterday, he said he would never do that but he did. He was the best dad, you would have loved him. He was to perfect I guess though. What was I thinking? Dating the biggest quarterback in the SEC was a good idea?" I rant out.

"Tanner Kingston right, That's why you wanted to come last night? He's the left handed quarterback" he asks. He must watch college football on TV.

I nod my head "Yeah that's him, I didn't see anything, but one of his friends said that he saw him and another girl having sex. But dad he's slept with her in the past before me and I-" I go to rant as I cover my mouth I can't believe I just said that.

"You're having sex?" He asks as I shake my head no and cover my face in my hands.

"No, no I'm not." I demand back to him as he looks at me and stares into my face as I nod. His looks always makes me be honest. "I am" I whisper back as I see his face look at me disappointed.

"Dad I didn't plan to but I love-d Tanner and I wanted it. It was consensual and we used protection. I even made him get an STD test before we messed around" I demand as he shakes his head no.

"Please just don't tell me anything." He tells me taking a sip of his coffee as I sigh. "But he cheated." I whisper out.

"I'm so sorry Ellie, I went through that with your mother. She cheated on me, that's why the arguments started. I was hurt for a year and I never really recovered, she scared me and I promised myself I would not get back into a relationship. But it gets better, I promise" he says.

"Dad, we dated for eight months, he was all I had and I love him, loved him. I thought he wouldn't do that to me. He's perfect, his families perfect. I love his mom. She's amazing and we talked almost everyday, his brothers are great, his dad is nice and his sister was my best friend for months, they don't even know that I'm never going to see them again. Dad you would have loved him, he's the guy I wanted to marry and have children with. I got to deep too quick and It hurts so bad."

"Ellie, just promise yourself that no matter what happens you'll stay strong, that's what I do everyday and I got through. Believe it or not your mother was the love of my life one time" he says while I cry in my hands. He rubs my back and soothes me, I missed this man.

I look up from my hands and start "Okay, I better go get dressed for my appointment, Thank you for everything dad, I wish I could have been with you all these years" he smiles at me and speaks "I do too" while I walk out towards the guest room.

After putting my clothes, makeup and shoes on, I say goodbye to my father and drive across town to the OBGYN.

I walk in and sign all of the new patient paperwork, looking around there are nothing but middle aged women here. They probably have their lives put together. They have husbands, stable jobs and babies. Me, I'm just a nobody who got pregnant.

"Ms. Eleanor" the lady says while opening the door. She didn't say my last name for confidentiality I'm assuming but I hate my real name.

I walk up to her and through the door to the back offices. She follows me into the room and shuts the door.

"So you are here today to confirm your pregnancy?" I nod and say "Yes, I have been getting morning sickness for the past almost month now and I took a test yesterday, actually 3, and they all came back positive."

"I see well, I'm going to need to take some blood work to make sure everything's okay and to confirm, we can discuss your options then". Options? She thinks that because I'm young I'm going to have an abortion. Hell no, I could never do that.

"Actually we don't, I'm keeping it" I says while glaring at her. Did she really think I would abort my baby? It's my kid, it's still mine even if it's Tanner's too.

"Yes dear, certainly" she says while writing down information in my file.

She comes to me and asks "May I please have your arm for the blood test?"

"Okay" I tell her and wait for her to stick my arm and put my blood in a clear container.

She then walks out the room saying "Give me a few minutes to analyze it, I'll be back shortly."

I sit down and fiddle with my band aid on my arm. She really just pricked me but I hate needles.

All I can think about is Tanner, would he want a relationship with his baby? I wonder if he has read my note. He probably does not care what I have to say but from putting so much time into our relationship I felt like I needed to end it with telling him goodbye.

That's the least amount of respect I have for us. We never were real to him but in my heart I know that I love, loved him unconditionally.

He meant so much to me. I thought I would marry him one day, and have babies with him while watching his NFL games. I was so wrong. I am getting the baby though, life just turns out different that you expect it to.

My phone starts ringing all of a sudden. It's Brooke, why would she be calling me?

"Hello" I say questionably.

"Ellie, are you okay?" She asks.

"I'm doing fine what's this call about? We said goodbye yesterday" I say as I cover up my tears.

"Tanner came to my room this morning looking for you. He said you left after his game, he looked horrible. What happened?" He probably just wants to hurt me more, he can't though. I've had more than enough of it.

"I-I broke up with him, I found out he cheated on me" I manage to get out with a single tear running down my cheek.

"Oh babe, I'm so sorry, I had no idea. Do you want me to come to you? I'm sure my mom won't care if I see you for a little while before I go home" she says. She's literally the best person ever, I'm so lucky she's staying by my side through this.

"No, I'm okay, I'll get through this but I'm busy right now so I'll have to call you back later" I lie. I know the doctors not coming in yet but I want to be alone right now.

Just then the door a opens and I end the phone call. The doctor and nurse walk in and look at me suspiciously.

"We have good news and good news, which would you like to hear first?!" The doctor says.

"It doesn't matter just tell me straight" I'll be okay with whatever the news is, I can handle pretty much anything at this point.

"We can confirm that you are pregnant but the bloodwork showed very high hormone levels" Great, I already knew that I was pregnant and have hormones.

"We can also take an ultrasound today if you are ready, we want to make sure to tell you how many weeks along you are" okay let's do this, I want to see my baby.

"Okay, let's do it" I tell her laying down.

She comes up to me and lifts my shirt and places a towel right under my pants as she unzips them and pushes them down.

"It's going to be cold, okay?" She asks while placing the gel on my stomach. Now that I'm looking I see that it's really turned a more of a rounded shape. I've always been tall though so my weight usually does not show that bad. Even when I was heavier it wasn't an issue for me.

She pushes the Doppler probe along my lower belly and abdomen. She pushes down a little and hits a button. My heart stops; the heartbeat comes in fast and whooshing, that's my baby.

My eyes become full of tears as I think about Tanner and how he's not here, how he doesn't want me or this. My baby is strong and I already see a small body forming in the screen. I don't care if he's not here, this is my baby to and I already love it. I didn't plan on becoming a mother at 18, I didn't but I know that somehow, someway, this was meant to happen.

The doctor looks over at the technician and shakes her head. I don't understand what's happening. She just looks funny and nods her head.

"What's wrong with my baby?" I ask questionably. I don't think I can handle another heartbreak. It looks fine besides having two black circles.

She simply smiles at me and says "Your babies, you mean?"

"What?" I respond. Babies? Oh my god, his sperm, he carries the gene. He carries the fucking gene.

"Honey we wanted to make sure before telling you but your pregnant with fraternal twins, you see these two black spots" as she points to the screen, "those are your babies and the heartbeats are strong, congratulations mommy!"

Twins, how am I going to take care of twins? Two of them? Instantly tears fall from my face as I try to hold my composure but I can't. "They don't even have a dad anymore." I whisper softly as she grabs my hugging me into her arms as I cry.

"Sweetheart, no matter what happens we're here for you." She tells me rubbing my back as I keep crying.

"What does fraternal twins mean?" I question. "So basically your twins are from two different fertilized eggs, which means that they will look similar but not identical" she says as I wipe my tears.

"I would give you an estimate that you are around 10 weeks. The babies would have had to been formed in late October. I don't know how you aren't showing it, most women would be at this point. I'm going to prescribe some vitamins because of your body not gaining weight regularly and I'm going to give you medication that will help you keep your food down as well, any questions?"

"Nope, I think you've got everything, thank you" I tell her. She rubs my arm before handing me a small pamphlet, "Just read your options sweetheart." She tells me while rubbing my belly before she's gone. The first thing I read is abortion which is an absolute no. The second one though, it's adoption. I can't do it, as easy as that would be, I can't handle not being able to raise my baby.

Walking out they give me a moment to myself while they go get my medication. I'm going to have twins, two babies to take care of.

Oh my god, we had sex a lot in October, he put the tip in a lot before pulling out. I thought we were safe because he always put on a condom before finishing. I think I got pregnant a few weeks though, it had to be in the library, that's how it had to happen. I know the doctor is right though, I just didn't think that my first few times I had sex would end in this. I was so caught up in the moment that I didn't even think about getting pregnant.

How am I going to keep this a secret? I'm going to start gaining weight now. I sigh and puts my head in my hands. I'm so lost, I'm going to be a mommy, a mommy of two kids. I don't even know where to begin, my life has turned upside down.

A few minutes later the doctor walks in with my medication and I check out leaving the office.

When I make it to my car, I burst out crying. How is this possible, what did I do to deserve this? I feel the tears whelp as I wipe my face. I can't believe I was so stupid, I'm not happy about this. I'm going to love with this forever. I guess I should be happy though, I'm pregnant and a lot of women can't be, I'm living someone's dream right now.

I pick up my phone and look at the screen seeing the pictures and deleting them. I'm over this, it's just me and my babies now. Seconds later an email pops up on my phone. It's from the University of Charlotte, in North Carolina that's so weird.

I know I had applied there but I had already committed to going to Alabama once I was accepted. I open it and my heart stops for the second time today. I quickly look over it, it reads that they want me at their school and that all of my expenses will be payed for if I go.

They also don't have dorms though, so all of their students have apartments, the school is offering to pay for mine. I could raise the babies there. I could take care of them while working and have a place to stay.

I would never have to speak to anyone again except my dad. It's perfect, I quickly respond about accepting admissions and transferring my credits and information, I'm leaving.

It's a Christmas miracle, I quickly drive out of the parking lot and make my way to my dad's apartment.

When I get home I tell him about what a great opportunity I want to take and how I was not liking Alabama, even though I loved it for the longest time. I don't have anything left in my dorm room either except my mini fridge and comforter. They can keep that stuff. I'm never going back there.

He seems to worry but I've got everything under control at this moment. For the first time in a few days I feel okay.

He says well "Let's celebrate before my girl goes to North Carolina and leaves me!"

~~~~

After dinner I thank my dad and walk to my room for the night. I forgot to call Brooke earlier so I'm going to call her back and tell her goodbye.

I'll miss her. She picks up on the second ring. "Hey I was waiting on you to call!"

"Yeah because I've got news, Brooke I love you and always will but I've been given an amazing opportunity to go to a school that will allow me to take care of myself and the babies, I'm transferring" I rant out.

"Wait, you can't leave! I'll miss you to bad, and babies?" She asks.

"Yes, please don't say anything but I went to the doctor today and she told me I'm 10 weeks and pregnant with twins" I tell her quietly.

"Wow, Ellie I'm proud of you, I'll miss you like hell but I'll always love you. I'll have to come and see you sometime after the babies are born" she says.

"Yeah, I just don't want people to know where I am for a little while, I want to figure it out by myself".

She responds "By people you mean Tanner right? You aren't going to tell him?"

"No, I don't want anything to do with a cheater, I loved him and he played me for a fool. I'm dealing with my own consequences and he will have to live with his someday" I say.

"I get it, are you coming to at least clean out your room?" She asks.

"No, they can throw my comforter and mini fridge away for all I care. You can take it if you want, I don't want to risk seeing him" I tell her.

"Well this is not goodbye because we will talk but I love you, and I hope everything works out babe" she tells me.

"Yeah, I'll definitely call you" I tell her.

"Okay so we will talk soon?" She asks as I smile.

"Yes of course, bye Brooke" I whisper to her.

"Bye Ellie" she tells me softly and I have a strange feeling I will never see her again as we hang up and the lines die dead.