Proofread by

💠🔻💠🔺💠🔻💠🔺💠🔻💠🔺💠🔻💠🔺💠

"But everything has changed since I knew you, Can ..."

"You did a lot of things that people have never done around me. You don't know the name Methanan, you fearlessly challenged me for your best friend, you rejected my gift with pride, you are always honest with all your emotions, you wanted to be friends with me without any intention. Without realizing it, my initial intention to separate Pete and Ae turned into chasing you. I no longer cared about their relationship. I just wanted you to always see me and pay attention to me. "

"I forgot how to smile but unconsciously smiled just by remembering you. Everything about you makes me happy. Maybe I sound crazy, but that's what I feel. I used to look down on Pete's feelings for Ae. How could he be crazy in love with that short, poor and dirty man ".

"Hey !!!!!," cut Can, not accepting his friend being insulted.

"Let me finish first, Can."

Can nodded and asked Tin to continue the sentence.

"But when I began to realize my feelings for you, I understood what Pete felt. Love does not look at faces, wealth or anything. It only takes one thing to fall in love. And one thing for me is you. You, with all your weaknesses and strengths. Just only you, that's enough for me. I don't need someone who is handsome or beautiful, rich, smart or anything. I just want you. Period. So I beg you, stop comparing yourself with anyone, because for me you have no equal. "

"How about your past ?? How many women have you dated or slept with? How many people did you hurt?"

"Honestly, in the past, sex was not difficult or taboo for me. I did it just to vent my desires. After all, I am a healthy and full of stamina. I needed to let go of it occasionally. I did it almost with anyone that I wanted and no one ever refused me. Sometimes I paid them, sometimes we did it mutually. But I always used condoms and before doing it, we always made sure we were both healthy. "

Can was silent. He expected it. Tin is a perfect man, there can't be a woman who rejects him. But that fact still hurt him.

Tin realized that Can's face changed, but he still wanted to continue this conversation. He wanted Can to know all the bad things about him from him directly, not from others. Because if that happens, Tin believes Can will be furious and it will be difficult to make him forgive him. Tin took a deep breath before continuing the sentence.

"Sorry if you have to hear all this, but I still have to say it. I don't want you to know it from someone else."

Tin grabbed Can's hand as if asking Can's approval to continue the sentence. Can nodded.

"I've been close to a number of women. Both here and in America*). You could say, I'm that I was dating some of them. At that time, I thought I loved them. But after knowing you, I realized that my feelings for you were very different from my feelings for them. I have never felt jealous, missed someone, hurt or anything like that, I have only had a modest relationship, I didn't even care if my words or actions hurt them. I always told them that if they hate my attitude, they may leave anytime. Never once did I hold them. I just had to find another one. "

"But when I began to fall in love with you, I felt all those feelings. Longing that sometimes hurts, even jealous of foods, unbearable pain when you turn away from me and happy even if I can only see you at a glance. But there is one thing that never crossed in my mind. Do you know what that is?"

Of course, Can shook his head.

"I can imagine how perfect my life is in the future with you. And I can imagine how dark my life would be without you."

"I've told you about the life of 'my love', what else do you want to know, Can?"

"Your family," Can's answered firmly. No matter how stupid Can is, he understands that all of Tin mischief originated from his dissatisfaction with his family.

"I've told you about my brother. Now I will tell you about my parents. Your guess was right, everything I told you at the veterinary clinic was true. My father's first wife was a Caucasian. My father loved her very much and they had a child which is my brother. But my grandmother strongly opposed the marriage. I didn't know how, but my grandmother managed to separate them. My mother was someone from a wealthy family, just like my father. My grandmother arranged them in a matchmaking. In short, they got married. When I was little, I didn't understand anything. All I know, my brother was always there for me. He was very caring and loving, because my parents were almost never at home. They are busy with their work and lives that I don't understand. "

Tin paused. Apparently, remembering all these things still hurts him. Can, who was aware of Tin's emotions, holded Tin's hand. Tin had been holding his feeling all this time, now is the time for him to let go of all that burden and shared it with Can.

"I've told you about me catching my brother's betrayal right? At that time I was only a kid. Since then our relationship has deteriorated. Before, I only had him as my world. Then when suddenly our relationship deteriorated, we became strangers. I didn't I have nobody to depend on. I didn't even have friends, because in the past he didn't allow me to be friends with anyone. He said, he was afraid that people would use me. But now I understand, he did it because he wanted me to be isolated and feel wasted. "

"Then that drug incident happened to me and it turned out to be all his work. I tried to defend myself, but no one believed me. At that time, he pretended to be a good brother and defended me in front of my parents. I thought he had changed. But, again I was wrong. He was the one who persuaded my parents to send me to America. Alone, by myself. "

"I don't know what he did here or what he said to my parents, but as long as I was there, my parents never contacted me or came to see me. Our only communication was when they transferred money to me. After a few months in there, I stopped wishing. And when I returned to Thailand, I felt totally estranged. I didn't even recognize my mother. She adored my brother so much and treated me like a stepchild. She never cared about me. She just called me when she needed me. She wanted me and my brother to be present at her party to show a harmonious family in front of her colleagues. "

"Ah, was this on the first time I scolded you on campus? Because you said rude things to your mother on the phone ?," asked Can.

"Yes Can. Now you understand why I was so angry at you at the time right? I hate dealing with her, then suddenly someone I don't know lectures me about something he doesn't understand."

"Hehehehehehe ... Sorry Tin."

"Forget it. That's not important. Anything else you want to know?"

"No. Everything has been answered."

"Then, now is your turn. I also want to know your past, Can."

"Hah ?? There's nothing interesting about my past. I never had a girlfriend or boyfriend. Even I never felt love for someone. No matter how handsome or beautiful that person is, I don't care. My life is only about family, friends, footballs and eating . Nothing else."

"Doesn't anyone express their feelings to you? After all, you are very cute and pleasant. There is no way that no one will fall in love with you."

"There were some who expressed their feelings to me. But after some time, they backed away because they couldn't stand being the number two because I preferred practicing football or ate with my friends instead of walking alone with them."

"Wait, but earlier you said you never had a girlfriend or boyfriend. So who is 'them' refers to ???"

"I never considered them as my girlfriend or boyfriend. We were only being closer than other friends and we had walked several times," he answered nonchalantly.

"Who are they? How many people ?," Tin asked jealously.

"I don't remember," answered Can plain.

"How can you not remember, Can ??!!!."

"Before we were close like that, we were friends. After everything was over, we remained friends. So, I forgot who was close to me because there were too many. And for me, as long as I didnt hurt them and still befriend with them, I didn't need to think about it."

"Have you ever kissed them?" Tin was asked.

"It seems like that."

"Seems like that you said ????."

"Sometimes when we separated after walking together, they kissed me. Just like what you did to me."

"How can you compare my kiss with them !!!!," Tin asked loudly.

"Why are you angry? I just told the truth. Would you rather if I lied or just shut up ??? After all, I only kissed. Unlike you who had sex with many people !!!!!"

This time Can's voice rises. Tin tried to hold back the jealousy that hit his chest. Can is right, what he did in the past was worse. Finally he could catch his breath and give a signal so that Can continued his story.

"Sometimes, they suddenly kissed my cheek. Sometimes kissing my lips. But they always said that it's something that is usually done by people who are close. If I refused, it would have meant I hate them. Because I didn't hate them so I just let them kissed me. Just like when you kissed me to pay for your cakes or cellphone. After they kissed me, I left without burden. Usually, after that they were angry because I thought I was insensitive, then never asked me to walk together again. "

"Wait, so the point is, they've been kissing you all this time? But you never returned their kisses like you returned my kiss ?," Tin asked hopefully.

Can innocently nod. Can is really stupid but he never lies.

"So, everything is clear right, Can?"

"Yes."

"So ??? Are you ready to be my lover now?"

Tin spoke in a gentle tone, but his heart was filled with anxiety. He was that angry at hearing Can ever kissing someone else when his past was worse than Can's past.

Can took a deep breath and looked straight in Tin's eyes.

"With one condition."

"What? Tell me. I will do whatever your requirements are, Can."

"Only I can fill your eyes, heart and mind."

"Can, without you asking me to do it, I already did. There is no one else but you. Your position is higher than anyone in my life," Tin answered, smiling lovingly.

"So, starting today we are lovers, Tin ?," Can asked shyly.

"No. You are not my lover. You are my life, Can."

Can smiled happily. During this time he thought there was nothing happier than winning a soccer match or eating a lot. Apparently, seeing happiness in Tin's eyes made him much happier than anything.

💠🔻💠🔺💠🔻💠🔺💠🔻💠🔺💠🔻💠🔺💠

*) Actually, in the novel, Tin school in UK or England. But am totally forgot. Because I already wrote America in my Bahasa Version, so i must follow that version.

Published : 01.02.19 ; 8.17pm