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"Phi, I have finished taking a shower. You don't want to take a shower?" Kla asked as he approached Techno who was arranging the dining table.

"No, I took a shower after the practice. Let's eat first. Sorry if the food is just this simple, Nong."

"This is more than enough, Phi. Actually, any meal will taste good if I'm eating with you"

"Gezzz .... Apparently you are indeed sweet-mouthed, Kla hahahhaha ......"

This was the first time they had dinner together. But strangely, they don't feel awkward at all. Techno tells about college, friends and football. Kengkla only listens and occasionally replies. He did not have anything to tell P'No, because his life was only filled with P'No, P'No and P'No.

Technic is the only 'friend' of Kengkla. He never tried to be friends with anyone at school. He also did not want to be friends with children from his parents' colleagues. Since he fell in love with P'No, his life was only focused on his beloved senior.

Even though in the past, before his parents divorced, Kengkla was a very cheerful child. He liked to be friends with anyone and everyone liked him. The divorce changed his perspective 180⁰. He no longer believed in all the smiles, laughters and scenes that "looked" fine. The parents that he loved and believed in very much, treated him like a worthless person. They deceived him mercilessly.

Kengkla's eyes never left Techno's face. He thought he was in the final stages of loving P'No and couldn't love him anymore, but he was wrong. Every second, his feeling only got stronger. And it was even more painful because P'No had not returned his feelings yet.

"Are you finished, Nong Kla ?," asked P'No

"Yes Phi," he replied.

"Do you want to sleep in Ai Nic's room?"

"Can I sleep with you, Phi?"

Seeing Techno's hesitant face, Kengkla immediately explained, "I already made a promise, no funny business, Phi. I just want to be with you."

"Okay. Just go up first. I'll wash the dishes first," Techno said without being suspicious.

"Let me help you, Phi."

"Eehh ... Can a young master like you wash dishes ??? No need, Nong Kla. I'll do it."

"Please teach me, Phi. I want to be the man you can rely on for anything," he said seriously.

"Nong Kla, when you're just like this, that's enough. You have become a person that Phi can count on," Techno answered sincerely.

"Please Phi ..."

"Okay ... OK ... But if your hands are scratched, don't blame me."

"Ok Phi. Take it easy."

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After their 'first night', tonight is the first time they slept in bed together again. But because Kla had promised not to 'eat' his P'No, he couldn't help but fulfill it. He can only pray that his 'dragon' will not wake up tonight.

At first, they were just chatting about light things. Until Techno finally asked Kengkla what he had been keeping all this time.

"You said that you liked me since 3 years ago. How did it start? As far as I remember, I only knew you for the past 1 or 2 years. And I thought, you like me just because of the incident that night."

"Do you remember when you took Technic on the first day of school?"

Techno just nodded. He did not understand the relationship between that day and his question.

"I saw you drove him. He grunted when he let go of the helmet, because he didn't like wearing a helmet. At that time, you advised him with an irritated face. But when Ai Nic walked away, you looked at him with a smile until he was no longer visible behind the gate. I saw love there, between you and Ai Nic. Even though you looked annoyed, it seemed clear that you really love Ai Nic. Actually, I don't know whether it can be called love at first sight or not, but you surely left an impression that I couldn't forget. Fortunately, me and Ai Nic were classmates. When I saw that the seat next to him was empty, I immediately sat next to him. So, I could say that at first my goal was to approach Ai Nic because I wanted to get a chance to meet you again. But over time, I liked being friends with him. The rest, as you know, Ai Nic is my only friend. "

"Just because of that you had a crush on me secretly for 3 years?"

"That's just the beginning, Phi. Do you remember that we met several times after that?"

"When Ai Nic brought you here (Techno's house)?"

"No, long before that."

"Hehehehehe ... sorry, I don't remember, Nong Kla."

"It's okay, I understand Phi. Every time we met, you always focused only on Ai Nic. Seeing you guys having a fight was very fun. Somehow I always felt that you love each other very much, in your own ways. I am an only child, Phi. Added to my parent's divorce, I closed myself and got away from feeling sincere love. But the more I see you, the more I like you. "

"Why me? Why don't you like Ai Nic?" Techno asked innocently.

"I don't know either, Phi. My heart has chosen you. Period."

"Does Ai Nic know about your feelings since the beginning?"

"No. He only found out about a year ago. I tried to make him not realize it. I was afraid that if he found out, he didn't want to be friends with me anymore. And automatically, my chances of seeing you would decrease. I didn't want to lose a friend and a crush, Phi."

"How did he find out?"

"At that time we were watching a movie in my house. When I was taking a shower, he played with my cellphone. That's where he saw lots of your photos in my gallery."

"My photos? When did you take them?"

"Every time we meet. That time, you were always busy with Ai Nic or your friends, so you didn't realize it when I took your photos quietly. If there was someone else besides you in the photo, I will cut it out. So what Ai Nic found in my cellphone were only your photos. "

"Then, what was his reaction?" asked Techno curiously.

"He interrogated me completely. I had no choice but to tell him everything."

"And he supports you to love his older brother?" asked Techno in disbelief.

"At first he didn't support me. But maybe he saw my sincerity, or my insanity towards you, until finally he decided to support me."

"Your insanity ????."

"Actually, I don't think it's a insanity. What I did was what people who fall in love do. But Ai Nic always thinks I'm crazy. You can ask him why he thinks I'm like that."

"Hmmm ... Alright, I'll ask him later."

"Do you know what he said when he decided that he would support me, Phi? "

Of course, Techno shook his head.

"I will support and help you because I believe in your feelings for my Phi. But if you're just playing with his heart or make my Phi as a test of your feelings, then I am the first person who will hit you. And if that happens, our friendship is over."

"Ai Nic talked like that ??? You must be lying, right, Nong? There's no way he could defend me like that."

"Really Phi. My feeling that you guys love each other so much was right. Although maybe the way he shows it is different from your way, but he loves you very much. By dating you, I get two benefits at once. A boyfriend who I love very much and a precious friend."

"Thank you, Nong Kla."

"Thank you for what, Phi?"

"Thank you for loving me. Thank you for surviving all that time alone. Thank you for being my brother's best friend. Thank you because after all time, you still give me time. And sorry if I'm still uncertain with my feelings towards you."

"No Phi, I'm the one who must thank you. After getting to know you, my life was full of color. I always wait for the morning, imagine to meet you. And don't apologize for your hesitation. I understand, all of this is new to you. I already waited for 3 years, it's not a big deal if I have to wait a little longer, "Kengkla said sincerely.

"But Phi, may I know what makes you doubtful? Are you still not sure of my feelings for you ??"

"No, Nong, this has nothing to do with your feelings for me. My doubtfull is pure because of myself. During this time I only thought of you as a younger brother, nothing more. Then suddenly our relationship changed. I used to do everything myself, suddenly you always accompanied me everywhere. I'm used to hearing swear words when talking to my friends, suddenly I always heard a romantic, praise and loving sentences from you. Everything still feels strange to me. Secondly, I feel guilty for everyone. "

"Feeling guilty for everyone? To who, Phi?"

"First, to my parents. You know how my parents treated us right? They gave us freedom since we stepped into high school. Freedom with responsibility, of course. We were free to do anything as long as we didn't make ourselves and our parents embarrassed. And we both managed to do it all this time. As far as I know, even though Nic often changes girlfriends, he never even had sex with his girlfriend. I believed, he didn't do it not because he can't do sex, but he's trying to keep the trust of our parent. But I don't know what he did behind me. At least until now, none of the women had hit our family. "

Hearing P'No's words, Kengkla only realized that all this time Nic had never done too much with his girlfriends. He once said that he was still a virgin, but given his track record, Kengkla only laughed at him. So, it turns out that Nic is still a virgin.

"Then the incident when I was drunk and we did it, made me feel very guilty, Nong Kla. I feel guilty for myself, why couldn't I control myself that night? Feeling guilty for you because I've snatched your chastity. Feeling guilty for making you even more like me, which is we have the same gender. And I'm especially feeling guilty to our parents. To your parents because I've ruined their child's future. To my parents because I violated the trust they gave me. Ai Nic, this playboy can control himself alone, then why did I, the one who never dated anyone, have sex with my brother's best friend? A boy to make it worse. Every time I try to open my heart to you, that guilt always appears, Nong. And I can't dismiss it. "

This was the first time Kengkla learned of P'No's guilt. During this time he was very confident to make P'No return his feelings. But how to make P'No stop feeling guilty? Kengkla knows, that is not an easy thing. Why when the relationship feels better, this problem happens again. Making it feels like Kengkla has to start over again.

"Phi, forgive me. I didn't know about your guilt. All this time I've only focused on my feelings and forgot about your feelings. Getting to know you, I know forgetting a guilt is not an easy thing to do. I really want to help you, but I really don't know how, Phi. Please tell me if I can help you, I will do everything, whatever it needs to be. "

"Thank you, Kla. You really are a good child. With your understanding, that is enough for me. The rest, let me do it. You need to calm down, you don't need to think about it. I can definitely get through it."

Kengkla can only nod, he doesn't know what else to say. He regretted his fooliness that night. Because of his selfishness, he made P'No feel guilty like this. If only he can turn back time, he would not take advantage of that night. He just wants to make P'No happy and wants to be happy with P'No. Not hurting him like this.

Techno, who was aware of the change in Kla's face, became uncomfortable. He shouldn't have made Kla sad because of the story. He should've saved the story for himself.

Without thinking, Tehno inserted his right hand under Kengkla's neck and pulled his body closer. Kengkla, who was busy with his thoughts, was surprised by the P'No's movement.

"Hey.... lets forget all the bad talk tonight. We just need to remember the sweet talk. Now, lets go to sleep, hopefully when we wake up tomorrow morning, we will be happier."

Kengkla put his head on Techno's thin chest, just like that night. But his feelings are far different. That night was full of passion, tonight was full of love. Apparently there is no limit in love. Because tonight, Kengkla fell in love with the same person for the umpteenth time, to the man who was holding him.

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Published : 09.02.19 ; 10.13am