《Lose Myself》Chapter Fifty: Bump!
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**Sorry I haven't been posting, I'm doing senior year in high school so my workload is like x10 so I can't find time. But I'll try post at least once a week!**
"Are you really taking all that?" he nagged me again.
My appetite was super heavy, I'll take what I need. Should that be six bags of crisps then so be it. I also needed guac and caramel chocolate, I won't be telling him that.
"Look buddy, this is essential stuff. I can make great meals with this stuff." I made excuses.
He squinted one eye, "They look a lot like chips to me, what are you planning to make with that?"
"A dish I like to call," I crawled down from my spot on his shoulders and let the chips loose into the trolley, "Chips in a Bowl. My mom taught me how to make it."
He sighed, "Whatever you say."
"Yeah," I started walking, "Not like you're short on money or anything."
"Uh huh." he looked around super bored. I waited for him to walk in front of the Arizona teas and the turned him around so I could climb again. "Why can't you just let me get them?" he complained.
"I'm starting to think you don't like shopping with me."
"No, I do like it." he looked down the aisle, "It just seems a bit unnecessary to me."
"Its not."
"Whatever you say." he muttered as I threw four bottles into the trolley from where I was and started climbing down him like he was a tree.
We were grocery shopping for the second time since we moved to Venice, we couldn't get a plane or anything to another country so we just drove here and found a house we're renting. Dominic has a house here but it was too risky because Santo knew where it was, they even searched it - we saw.
"I hate to be the d-ck that says something," Dominic started whilst looking anywhere but my face, "Aren't you eating a little too much?"
"What is that supposed to mean?!"
I immediately put my hands up in defence, its just been the second time grocery shopping in one week. We're buying just as much if not more than last time. She was shouting now, looking pretty pissed. It was extra unfortunate since we were at the end of the aisle where the cashiers were just ahead and so everyone was just watching.
"Are you calling me fat?!"
I just watched all the eyes flicker to the trolley for one second before about ten people turned around whilst a couple kept watching.
"No." I replied trying my hardest not to laugh.
"Are you amused by something?" her eyes shrunk to slits.
I looked down at her, "I understand you may be a little upset, I didn't mean it the way you think. There is such a thing as too much of a..." I looked towards the trolley, "Bad thing. Those are definitely unhealthy foods."
"Are not!" she reached into the wire contraption and pulled out guacamole, "This is healthy!"
"Okay Amara you're right, its healthy I can see that." I nodded, "Please stop shouting." I whispered.
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She sent a momentary glare to the people watching then walked around into the next aisle, I grabbed hold of the trolley and followed. We spent a long time picking whatever she wanted, then what I knew we needed then headed for the queue ourselves. Amara quickly grabbed a Mars bar and placed it on the conveyor belt as it slid everything along, I held back from giving her a look.
Once we had everything in the car we drove back to our place, she waltzed straight inside and I grabbed the first set of bags. When I walked in she was standing at the full length mirror in our foyer, she had her shirt lifted up and was observing herself from the side.
I put the bags down and walked over, wrapping my arms around her and bringing her shirt down. "Hey, I didn't say you were fat okay?" I looked to the mirror, she had her hair hanging over her face so I couldn't see. "Eating that much food is abnormal for anyone, even me, even Claire and probably fat people too."
"You suck at cheering up." she spoke up.
"You're my practise."
"Yeah alright." she dismissed untangling herself from me and walking outside to grab bags as well.
We packed all the food away, I'd realised that I may have gained a little weight. I mean we hadn't been going out heaps and working out or whatever, I wasn't as active as I usually am. I wasn't right to assume I had a metabolism like some girls, I must've lost weight previously because I was always active. Now look.
I put my hair up messy and took my studs out, they always poked me when I slept and I always forgot just before bed. I walked into the living room to find Dominic sucking on a carrot and switching through footage of surveillance that was record by the cameras while we were out. He stopped for a second when I walked in and didn't move again till I was in the kitchen, serves him right. He should be wary, I'll cut his hair in his sleep.
--
I rolled onto my stomach but it didn't feel right but then I wasn't comfortable again, I wasn't going back to sleep now. I opened my eyes looking at the time, 6:03 am. No point trying to sleep honestly.
I got up and walked to the bathroom, after rubbing my eyes for two minutes in the mirror I stepped back and noticed my stomach was the only part gaining weight. My limbs were still the same, I moved around more, observing more and more.
"Hey..." I started to shout but then my voice grew quiet, "Dominic!" I repeated much more solidly this time.
"Sh-t." escaped from his mouth as he rolled off the bed, "Wha-what." He stood up clearly dazed and confused.
"Come look at this."
"You know I told you yesterday -"
"I'm not that insecure." I glared at him then gestured for him to come over, he eyed me before starting to walk. He was probably scared because now I had the creepiest smile on my face.
I grabbed his arm and pulled him down, "Get down." he slowly went to his knees.
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He coughed and his eyes shifted, "You know if you're trying to get me aroused, this isn't the way to do it Amara."
"Don't be stupid!" I cringed.
"What am I doing down here then?" he seemed genuinely confused.
"Baby I worry about you." I commented before gesturing in round motions to my stomach, which from the side had grown 4-5 centimetres out from where it usually was.
"You are gaining weight?" he said slowly with caution.
I gave up, "I'm pregnant!"
"Really?!"
"For sure." I smiled, "It explains why I'm eating so much, why I vomited yesterday and why my abs suddenly disappeared."
"Wait," he stood, "You vomited yesterday?"
"Yeah, and you were too busy avoiding me to notice."
He pouted, "I thought you wanted to be left alone."
"It doesn't matter!" I hopped, "I'm pregnant!"
He lifted me up, "Yay!"
I wrapped my legs around his waist, "So.."
He frowned, "How come you weren't pregnant before?"
"I," I paused because there was no good explanation, "I don't know."
"Of course you did." I monotoned rolling my eyes, Amara just wore a slight frown - wondering how she got played so hard I bet.
We had pulled up Skype and revealed the news to Claire and Leo, Claire just had to admit something right then. She'd been sneaking the pill into Amara's food and drinks since day one - mainly because mom told her to - but also because they didn't trust I was very wise, I apparently jumped into things too quickly when I was 'experiencing new things.' Which the whole thing sounds pretty gross if you ask me, what was 'experiencing new things'?
This isn't my adolescence god damn it.
"So when we moved out you couldn't drug me anymore?" Amara put it plain and simple but Claire still felt the need to decline.
"I did not drug you." she laughed nervously. I rolled my eyes again. "Dominic aren't you the one that told mama that if she kept rolling her eyes they would get stuck like that? Why are you doing it?"
"Because you're so full of sh-t."
"I did you a f-cking favour!"
"Ssh." Leo frowned.
She lowered her voice, "You should be thanking me. Now you're not having a kid in the middle of a f-ckng war."
"Stop swearing Claire, it's unattractive." I commented causing her to zip her lips shut, she was always trying to be attractive - especially around Leo. I knew that would keep her quiet, Leo gave her a look before taking the opportunity to say something.
"Well, good luck you guys." he winked, "We'll keep in touch and keep buying new laptops." He laughed, Claire laughed because he laughed and Amara laughed to be polite. I didn't laugh.
"Okay cool." I replied before looking to Amara to see if she wanted to say anything else.
"We miss you guys, don't forget us!" she grinned.
"Never! Love you." Claire blew a kiss.
"Yep, we'll talk later." Leo nodded.
"Definitely." I confirmed then the screen went black.
I ran out of the room, down the stairs and into the kitchen. "Mama!" I shout-whispered. My mother turned around with a spoon smeared with tomato paste on the end.
"I have news." I crept over, "Amara is pregnant."
I thought she'd want to know, it was great news and we should all be happy about it. Through all of this I never lost my relationship with my mother, even if some of the ideas she believed were wrong she was still my mother.
"What?!" she practically scram at the top of her lungs, dropping the spoon which I in turn caught and returned to the pot.
"What's going on?" I heard my father walk in and all the happiness nearly left my body, and my spirit surely faded.
"Amara is pregnant." my mother stared at me with wide eyes whilst saying so. I started shaking my head slowly, I was sure she could see the disappointment in my eyes. I trusted her to know this was definitely something my father wasn't supposed to know about. I turned and walked out not before hearing my father's long string of curses.
Leo stood against the wall with his arms folded, "You should know by now that your mother can't be trusted." I ignored him as I made my way up the stairs. "Dominic won't be happy about this." I ignored as I kept walking.
"I'm not giving up on my mother Leo." I said starting down the hall to my room, he stood at the top of the stairs now.
"You should do so not whilst sacrificing the fate of others. It was clearly uncertain what your mother would do, you should not have told her something so important."
"I'm sorry."
"Sorry won't save Dominic's child, Claire."
I stopped walking, I turned but he'd already walked into his own room. He didn't mean that, he didn't. My parents were... They weren't that cruel.
Dominic casually pulled out an OJ from the fridge, "How long do you think it took for Claire to spill?"
"What do you mean?" I frowned watching him.
"Oh come on," he laughed, "Claire is such a blabbermouth. She can't keep a secret for sh-t. Just ask her and she'll tell you what you want to know."
"I can almost tell that from experience."
"Yep," he sat on the counter, "It's okay though, I won't let anything happen." he commented whilst swinging his legs over the edge and drinking his beverage.
"They wouldn't do.. anything, right?" I knew my eyes were significantly much wider.
"My father is cruel, everything must go according to his plan and well, my mother does whatever he sees fit. That's how its always been, don't think about it too hard."
He let me think for a bit, and "Disgusting." was my conclusion.
"Tell me about it." he threw the empty bottle in the bin.
"Oh," I got down from the stool I sat on, "I didn't mean your family was disgusting or anything."
He laughed, "Yeah I know Amara, they're not as beautiful on the inside. Well my father isn't anyway. Most other people in that house are pure as they get, only with the best intentions."
"See? I knew that." I tried to mend my outburst.
He planted a kiss on my forehead, "I know you did baby."
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