Christine

I open the blinds of Katia's hospital room and let the sunlight in. The flowers lining the windowsill help liven up the room a little, but we could use some music. I'll have to remember to ask Lindsey to bring my speaker later when she comes by. Sleeping in this chair has been hell on my back, but I refuse to leave. It's been almost two weeks since Katia's accident. She still hasn't opened her eyes or responded to any stimulation. I haven't lost hope though. I know she's in there. She just has to find her way out and back to me. She's a strong girl. I know she'll make it through. She has to. For me.

I go through the bag of things Elizabeth brought me from home and pull out two t-shirts. I smile at them. They smell like Katia.

"Okay, sleepy head." I say turning towards Katia. "Which one would you like me to wear today?"

I have her Blue Bird shirt and her old worn out Black Swan shirt. You can barely see the lettering anymore. I told her that I'd just buy her another t-shirt, but she's stuck on keeping this one. She's not good with letting things go. Just like that dance bag she won't part with. My girl likes what she likes.

"Yes, I know it's hard, but you have to pick one." I say. I pause as if she is actually answering. I think she would pick the Black swan one just because I wouldn't. "You just love to give me a hard time don't you?" I laugh and slip the shirt over my head. I smile as the coziness of her smell engulfs me. I tuck the other shirt back in the bag for tomorrow.

I spread my yoga mat down on the floor and begin stretching. It's so needed while I'm sleeping in that chair. It's comfortable enough I guess but it's still a chair. Plus, stretching in the silence of the room helps ease and clear my mind. It helps with the daily worry and stress I try not to succumb to.

"So, babe, I was thinking that after you get out of here and you're back to yourself, maybe we could go on a trip. Just a change of scenery or something. I didn't have anywhere specific in mind." I bite my lip thinking. She does really love the beach. "Yeah. Somewhere with water would be nice. Have you ever been rock climbing?" I ask.

"I haven't." The doctor answers. His voice startles me as I wasn't expecting anyone to answer at all. At least not outside of my head.

"I was talking to, Katia." I say standing up.

"Well, I'm embarrassed." He jokes.

I give him a polite smile. I'm not trying to be rude, but it's been hard to laugh lately.

Maybe he understands because his face goes serious and he clears his throat. "Anyway, I wanted to come talk to you about our girl."

"Okay." I would sit down, but I don't like to be in that chair any more than I have to.

"There are just a few things I wanted to inform you about when it comes to coma patients and waking up."

A buzzer sounds off in my head. "She's going to wake up soon?" I ask.

"Hopefully, but there's no way to tell. I just want you to be prepared when she does."

"Okay." I nod.

"Sometimes when people emerge from their coma, they have memory loss. I understand this isn't the first time Katia has had a brain injury."

"Correct. She fell one time, and was out for a few hours. That time she forgot a few things, but it wasn't too bad."

He frowns. "Unfortunately, that puts her at an even higher risks for short term or long term memory lost or other physical side effects. A lot of the time, the information forgotten will gradually come back to them and that's what we're hoping with her. She's young and so she has that on her side. I don't want you to be alarmed if when she wakes up, she's a little panicked or can't remember your name. Just be patient and help her when she needs it."

"I understand." I say. Thinking that Katia won't remember me makes me want to cry but I keep a strong face on. No need to panic over something that may not even happen.

"Also, sometimes patients wake up and they're not themselves." He says with a grim expression.

"What do you mean?"

"There have been cases where the person wakes with a completely different personality. They remember most things but they may act or think differently. People who were once quiet and meek will suddenly be outgoing and chatty. Sometimes happy cheerful people will wake and have serious bouts of depression. They could be overly honest or grouchy. Things you may have loved about that person may not be apart of them anymore and things you weren't too crazy about might also disappear. Every case is different, but I really want you to be aware and be as ready as possible." He explains.

I don't say anything. I don't even nod. My sweet girl could be replaced with someone who doesn't even know me or want to be around me. The person that wakes up could change their mind about everything and ultimately turn my life upside down.

"Mrs. Bell?" The doctor says as he gently places a hand on my shoulder.

"Hm?" I look at him with tears in my eyes.

"As always, still hope and pray for the best. Keep doing what you're doing. It's good that she has you here. Talking to her and touching her only improves her chances of waking up. You're doing everything right." He gives me a small encouraging smile.

His words do make me feel a little better. "Thank you."

"Of course. I'll get out of your hair now and let you get back to your exercises." He glances at my yoga mat.

"Okay. Thank you for everything."

He nods and walks out of the room, leaving Katia and I alone again. I dry my eyes and go over to Katia. I give her a kiss on the cheek and smooth her hair away from her face.

"Come back to me, baby." I whisper. Hopefully, wherever she is, she can hear me.

____________________________

Christine

The entire day has been filled with visitors. People have been in and out, bringing flowers and things they think will cheer me up. I appreciate it but the only thing that would really make me happy is seeing Katia's eyes open. Greg was just here but he had to leave. He said he'll be back tomorrow morning. He doesn't know it but I saw him crying. It wasn't very loud or obvious but he did.

Liz is here with me now. I gave her my chair. I'm sitting on the floor between her legs as she plays in my hair. I'm exhausted, both physically and mentally. Elizabeth's laugh shakes her entire body. She's watching something on tv but I've been zoned out for so long I don't know what's going on.

"Did you eat today, Chrissy?" Liz asks me.

I shake my head no. I haven't been in the mood.

"Why not?" Her voice grows concerned.

"I guess I'm just not hungry." I reply.

She sighs and turns the volume on the tv down. "Christine, how do you expect to take care of Katia when she wakes up if you're not taking care of yourself? She's going to need you to be at your strongest."

"I feel drained." I say honestly. I feel like I lie all day. Perhaps, not verbally but when people come I act hopeful and I put a smile on. However, all I want to do all day is cry. Cry for Katia. Cry for me. Just cry.

"I know you do, pumpkin pie." Liz says gently as she rubs my head. My mom used to call me pumpkin pie and Liz thought it was funny so she started calling me it too. The tears start themselves and I just lay my head on Liz's lap.

"Shhhh. It's going to be okay, Chrissy." Liz sounds so confident in her words it infuriates me.

I sit up and turn towards her. "You don't know that! I don't know that. Hell, the doctors don't even know! Katia could be like this for the rest of my life. I could never hear her voice again. She could d... s-she could..." I can't bring myself to say it. Instead, I break down crying. Liz brings me into a hug and holds me tight while I cry in her arms. I don't know how long I stay with my buried in Liz's shoulder. After I get myself together I lean away and clean my face.

"I'm sorry for yelling, Liz." I apologize. The last person that deserves my sass is Elizabeth.

"I stopped being offended by your temper tantrums while you were still in diapers." Liz teases.

I chuckle and wipe my eyes again.

"Come here." Liz pats her lap.

I laugh. "No! I am not sitting on your lap."

"Come here. Everyone needs to be held sometimes. Even you." Liz says.

"That's usually Katia's job." I say.

Liz gives me a small smirk. "Our girl is busy resting right now. I'm sure she won't mind."

I crawl onto Liz's lap and relax my very tired body against hers. It does feel nice in a way I haven't experienced in a very long time. I yawn and my eyes start to feel heavy.

_______________________________

Katia

I thought hell was supposed to be hot and dark. Gnashing of teeth and all that. It's not. I had the dark part right, but hell is being trapped inside of your own body with no visible way out. Now that I'm awake it's not much better. I have never felt more alone. I am in constant discomfort and everything hurts. Things I didn't know could hurt, hurt. I can't get up and go to the bathroom. I'm not sure how long I've been floating in and out of consciousness, but the first time I opened my eyes it was dark outside and now the sun is rising. I look around and it's obvious I'm in a hospital. I don't know much more. I'm so confused. What day is it? I couldn't possibly have been sleep for that long. Did I fall again? How did I fall last time? I was dancing with a group of girls and I- ah! Blue Bird. Right. Good. What is the last thing I remember? Think brain. Think. Liv? I just keep seeing Liv and a really bright light. Maybe it was the sun? I have no idea. I search around the room as far as my eyes will let me. I see her. Chris. It feels like a chore to open my mouth.

"Chris." I say but my voice barely comes out as a whisper. Still, she stirs in her sleep. "Chris." I say again in the same hushed tone. She turns her head towards me and blinks a few times and shakes her head as if she's trying to wake up from a terrible dream. She hops up from the reclined chair and rushes to me.

"Katia. You're awake." Her eyes start to water. Why is she crying?

"Why are we here?" I ask. I start to feel unbelievably nauseous.

She looks at me confused. "What's the last thing you remember?"

"Liv and a bright light." I answer.

"Before that?" She strokes my head gently, but I lean away from her.

"Stop it." I say. "I'm not a baby."

She frowns and starts to say something but bites her lip instead. "I'm sorry."

"Blue Bird??" I say hesitantly. I'm not sure. I'm not sure about anything.

"Oh wow. Okay. First, I'm going to call the nurse so she can come check on you and then I'll tell you everything."

Chris leaves to find a nurse. Two nurses come back with her and start talking amongst themselves and to me. They write down numbers and check the machine I'm connected to. They ask me questions I have trouble answering. They check my eyes and my pulse and if I can feel certain things. I can't move my legs or my toes. It's hard moving my arms but I can. The dexterity in my fingers isn't too great but they work. They assure me it's okay even though none of this feels okay. Even though they're being nice I still want them to get out of my face and stop touching me. This is infuriating. While they're doing that, I try to remember as much as I can about everything. Pieces slowly start to fall into place. There may be a few blank spaces but I think I have a pretty good timeline of events. The nurses pack up and leave when they're done.

Chris comes back to my side.

"How long have I been here?" I ask.

"About two weeks."

"Two weeks? I've been unconscious for two weeks?" I ask. "Will I be able to walk again? Dance again?!" I ask. Panic starts to fill my entire being.

"Katia, I know this is scary but you have to calm down. It's not good for you to be so upset." Chris says in a calm voice.

"How the fuck am I supposed to calm down, Chris? My legs don't work!" I shout.

She looks like a confused mixture of sad and angry.

I look away from her. I know it's not her fault but I can't help the rage I feel inside.

"I have to call your sister. I'll be right back." She grabs her phone and steps outside, leaving me alone. Kandace. Right. My insufferable other half.

My head itches so bad. I can't wait until I can get in the shower and wash it. I reach back to scratch my head and notice a large bald spot. I can feel my eyes begin to well. My hair is gone. Chris walks back in and notices my dismay right away.

"What?" She asks. "What happened?"

"What do you mean what happened!? Where the fuck is my hair?" I ask. I can feel my hands trembling.

"Katia, they had to shave it before your surgery. It'll grow right back. You're still just as beautiful."

I know she's just trying to comfort me but I don't want to hear it. "Get out." I mumble.

"Excuse me?" She asks, clearly in shock.

"I want you to get out. Leave." I say.

She opens her mouth to say something but changes her mind before grabbing her things and storming out the door.

Perfect now I am absolutely as alone as I feel.