My head hurts. A lot. I feel the pain moving inside my skull, like it's something physical.

My whole body is shaking, but I don't know why.

My ears capture random sounds, but I can't make out what they are. It sounds like a voice, but I can't understand a single word being said.

I feel like I am at the bottom of a pool and now someone is pulling me out of the water. I slowly open my eyes and they focus on a face looking down at me. When my vision gets a little clearer, I take a better look at the features and recognize Jamie.

I feel like my head is finally out of the water and I realize she's been shaking me and calling my name all this time.

"Allie! Allie, what the fuck is going on? Are you ok?" I can hear the concern in her voice. "Please say something." She runs her hand through my hair and I wince when she touches the spot that's pulsating with pain. She pulls her hand back and it has some blood on it. "We have to get you to the hospital. Now." She takes a look at my body. "Do you think you can walk?" I try to get up but my head feels like it's going to explode. "Ok, I'll carry you."

My mind starts pulling me back underwater, everything is kind of blurry, but I feel Jamie shaking me again and I'm back to my consciousness.

"You have to stay awake for me, Allie." I look around and see we've made it to her car. The world outside is all a blur, I don't know if it's because of the speed or my head. Maybe it's both. "Talk to me."

"Shh! I wanna sleep." I manage to say, but my voice sounds tired.

"Nope!" She tries to conceal the panic in her voice, but fails. "You cannot sleep right now. We're going to talk."

"About what?"

"Anything. What's your favorite color?"

"I don't know."

"How do you not know?"

"It changes all the time."

"Ok, what is today's?"

I think a little. "Maybe cherry red. What about you?"

"I kinda like gray."

I scrunch my face up. "No, you do not."

"Yes, I do."

"Nobody likes gray."

"Well, I do."

"You have to choose a different color. I'm not accepting that answer."

Her laugh fills the car. "Then I like cherry red too."

"That's cheating! You can't pick mine."

"What about blue?"

"Now you're just straight up lying."

"Ok, then." The car stops and I see we arrived at the hospital.

She gets out of her seat and rushes to open my door. This time when I try to walk I yelp when my right foot hits the floor. The only thing that stopped me from falling was Jamie's arm holding me up.

"I think it's sprained." Jamie takes a look at my ankle. "C'mon, I'll help you."

I use her to support my right side and when we get inside the hospital I feel the world rushing around me. Everything happens very fast. Someone flashes a light in my eyes and then I somehow find myself inside this big beeping machine.

I'm sitting on my hospital bed waiting for Jamie to come back with my food. Because of the concussion, I'm not allowed to watch tv, use my phone or even sleep, so I just keep staring at the walls in complete boredom. The only thing worse than being bored is being bored and knowing how you could entertain yourself, but you're not allowed to do it.

I keep looking around the plain room waiting for everything that happened to hit me, but it never does. It's all floating around in my mind and I just keep watching it, waiting for it to sink to the ground so I can finally process it, but it seems to have a different agenda.

I've been here for nearly three hours and Jamie stayed with me the entire time. She called Daisy and Jess to let them know we wouldn't come to the festival and made up some excuse. I didn't want to tell them anything just yet, they shouldn't be worrying about me when I'm fine and will be back home soon. I'll tell them when the worry-worthy stuff is gone.

"I brought two sandwiches and some fruit. They didn't have much." Jamie comes in and places the food on the table next to my bed.

"Give me a sandwich. I'm starving." I stretch my hand to get it from her. "I haven't eaten since lunch."

"How's your head?" She sits on a chair she pulled closer to my bed while holding a sandwich for herself.

"It still hurts a little. Obviously it's nowhere as bad as it was when we arrived, but I don't think the doctors would give me more painkillers." I take a bite out of the sandwich and it tastes so good I want to die. "How is this hospital food? It's really good."

"It's not." She laughs. "It's from a shop next door."

"That makes sense."

We keep eating and talking about silly things. I can see in her eyes she is just putting up this calm act for me. I know she's worried.

We finish our sandwiches and a little after that, the doctor comes in holding my exam results.

"How are you, miss Martinez?" She stops beside my bed.

"My head pretty much doesn't hurt anymore and my foot is fine. The bandages don't let me scratch when it itches, but it's fine."

She laughs. "You can take them off when you get home. Well, you seem fine. I'll just check somethings to make sure everything is back to normal and, if it's all good, you'll be free to go home."

"So the Doctor's instructions are here on your desk, next to some painkillers. I'm going to go downstairs and get you some ice for your ankle." Jamie walks around my room while I'm sitting on my bed. "And no phone or tv!" She yells while closing the door.

"I know, mom!" I laugh and rest my head on my pillow.

If a truck had run me over and an elephant tap danced on top of my body, I would be feeling better than I am right now. My head is starting to hurt again, but the doctor said that I could only take painkillers today if I really have to and I'm not there yet. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Today's been a lot.

The entire conversation with Matt starts replaying in my head. I was surprised by some of the things I said. I begin to see all the little actions he took over the course of our relationship that should have been alarming to me, but I just brushed off. I see all the times I was angry at something he did but he somehow made me believe it was all my fault.

What an asshole.

And I defended him! I made up excuses for him! I took his side when I should've been on my own. I fought with Jamie because of him.

When she comes back in, I get on my feet, even though it hurts, and hug her. Really tight. "I'm so sorry for not telling you the truth and not believing what you told me."

"It's ok, Allie. I get it." She pulls away and smiles. "Get back to bed so we can talk and ice your ankle."

She helps me lay down again, I take off the bandages from my right foot and then she places the ice on my ankle.

"Ok, now we can talk." She sits on the other side of the bed and looks at me.

"I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be."

"Yes, I do."

"None of this is your fault."

"Some of it is." She tries to speak again but I cut her off. "I was a bitch to you. You tried to talk to me but I didn't listen."

"Allie, it is not your fault." She says slowly. "He is the one to blame. He is the one who fucked up. He is the problem. Not you." I let those words sink in.

It's not my fault. It's not my fault. None of it.

I start to cry. Everything hits me at once. The way he treated me like an object, the manipulation, the violence. The abuse.

Jamie pulls me in for a hug and I fall apart. The tears just keep coming and I don't think they'll ever stop. I hold her tightly. I don't know what could've happened if she didn't find me passed out.

"I could've died today." I whisper so softly I'm surprised she hears me.

"But you didn't. I would never let that happen." She rubs her hands on my back. "You don't have to worry about any of that anymore. It's over."

I don't know how long I cry for, the tears just keep coming one after the other, until, somehow, my eyes dry and I pull away.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She whispers.

"Not really... but I think I have to." I lay back leaving enough space beside me for her. She grabs my hand to reassure me.

"You don't have to."

"But I do." I take in a deep breath and close my eyes. "He never listened to me, he doesn't know a thing about me. He had a lot of opinions about my clothes. He complained that my Moana costume showed 'too much ribcage'. I mean, what the fuck? Ribcage? And he also threw a fit when he was here last week. You saw what he did with my dress because it was 'too revealing'." Jamie's phone rings, but she rejects it. "You can pick it up."

"No. Keep going." The phone rings again.

"Answer it, Jamie."

She sighs, but picks it up. "What do you want, Daisy?" Even I hear the yelling coming from the phone. "Calm down. We're fine- no, we're not dead." I chuckle lightly. "Daisy, nothing's wrong."

"Don't you fucking lie!" I can perfectly understand when she yells again.

"I'm not lying- yes, I'm with her." She looks at me and then pulls the phone away from her ear. "She wants to talk to you."

I sigh and grab the phone. "Hey."

"Why did someone just ask me what happened to your foot and why you look 'so bad'?!" Now it's my turn to pull the phone away to protect my ear. "What the fuck happened, Allison? Jamie said you're fine but I know it's a lie, so you better tell me the truth right fucking now or I'm coming to your room!"

I look at Jamie. I have to tell them. "Fine. You can come, but bring Jess with you."

The line goes dead and I take a breath. This is going to be a long night.