We decided that Sunday was going to be a chill day, so the girls and I spent it watching a lot of movies in Jamie and Jess' room. I caught myself restraining from acting couple-y with Jamie since I haven't told Daisy yet and that was not the situation I want to break the news in. I decide to tell her after class today, that way I can minimize the amount of people exposed to her over the top reaction. And I don't want to keep things from my best friend, especially something that makes me as happy as I am.

Hey

Can we talk after dinner?

I have to tell you something

🌼

yeah

wait

what is it?

are you sick?

ARE YOU DYING??

What?

No!

I'm fine

🌼

promise?

Yeah

Calm down

Can you come to my room?

🌼

yep

ill be there

I put my phone down and try to concentrate on the Calc teacher, but my mind keeps running every possible reaction Daisy could have after I tell her everything.

"It's going to be fine." Jamie squeezes my hand.

"I know." I sigh. "It's just that we haven't exactly told anybody. Jess figured it out by herself and then accidentally told Scott. She did the whole thing for us. Maybe I should just ask her to tell Daisy instead and sit back to watch how it goes."

"I think she wouldn't be opposed to it." She chuckles. "Why are you so worried anyway? Do you not want to tell her?"

"No! Of course I want to tell her, she's my best friend. I guess I'm just being weird."

"You what?" Daisy screams and I cover my ears. I should've been prepared for the screaming I knew was coming.

"Are you trying to make me deaf?" I roll my eyes. "I said that I'm with Jamie."

"Yeah, I heard what you said, it's just..." she starts pacing the floor, "weird and out of the blue." She stops and makes a thoughtful face. "But it makes sense, though."

"Ok..." I laugh.

"Yeah, you've been spending a lot of time together lately and..." her eyes go wide. "I'm such an idiot! How could I have not seen it? It was so obvious!" I laugh harder. "But wait, what's really going on? Are you like together together or...?"

"Well, we are together. It's not like we're actually in a super serious relationship, but I think we're headed that way. We decided not to label it, at least not for now. We're going slow and still figuring everything out, but together."

"And you're ok?"

"Yeah... why?" I frown.

"I just wanna make sure you're in a good place and not rushing things."

"Daisy, I'm good. Seriously."

"I'm just worried about you and everything, you know." She sits next to me. "I saw what he-who-must-not-be-named did to you."

"Voldemort?" I giggle.

"No, you idiot." She nudges me. "Matt."

"I know." I sigh. "I'm fine. Truly fine. You guys helped me so much and I'm better now."

She stays silent for quite some time, just staring at the floor in front of her, and I start to get worried.

"Daisy... what's wrong?"

"It's just..." she pauses and looks at me. "You know I love you, right?"

"Yes..."

"And Jamie too, but... I'm still not sure about the timing."

I frown. "Daisy, I told you-"

"I know what you told me, Allie, but it's been, what? Two months since you broke up with Matt?" I nod. "I didn't see you processing what happened. You never once talked to me about it after the day you came back from the hospital. You just told us everything that day and then that was it. I didn't hear anything else, but I could clearly see the pain you were in. I know you tried to hide it, but I know you, Allie. I saw straight through your 'I'm fine' facade." She huffs. "And I'm sorry to just dig everything back up and throw it all over your face, but he hurt you in a lot of different ways. He got you in a hospital. For fucks sake, he fucking abused you, Allie!" I wince at her words. "I love seeing you happy, I can see you really are happy, and moving on, but if you don't process everything right now, it's all going to blow up at some point and things might get really bad between you and Jamie. I would hate for that to happen because I can see how much you really care about her. She's also my friend and I don't want to see her hurting and... fuck!" She rubs her face and bends down to rests her elbows on her knees. "I'm only saying this because I know and love you. I don't want to see you hurting. Either of you."

The room falls silent and I don't even know what to think. There's a lot of information in Daisy's speech, but I can't fully understand any of it right now. I thought Matt was long gone, but here he is again. It's as if he is a ghost I can't get rid of.

"I'm not saying I want to see you cry or fall apart or anything like that," she whispers. "I just want you to be sure you have a clean slate and a stable foundation to build something with Jamie so there's no fear that the tiniest blow can throw everything to the ground. I don't want you projecting anything on her or trying to suppress any feelings." She places her hand on mine and squeezes it. "I want you to talk to me if you want, and I need you to know I'm only saying all of this because I really care about you and your well being." I look at her her eyes and they're filled with tears, just like mine. "Please take care of yourself. If not for you, for me. For Jamie. She doesn't deserve a relationship where you're not being honest with yourself."

Fuck.