Walking down the long cobblestone driveway I thought about the day ahead and all the meetings I had. I set eyes on my brand new Range Rover Velar - a gift from Darnell after he beat me black and blue for cooking lamb chops instead of pork chops. This was a pity gift but I was forced to accept it with a smile.

I buckled Sinai in and went to the driver side, throwing my bag on the seat next me. I had a bone to pick with my sister so I dialled her number straight away.

The dialling tone rang for a few seconds and then her cheerful voice rang into the intercom.

"Good Morning my dear sisterrrrr where my Baby at?"

Her voice rang in my ears and Sinai perked up immediately waiting to say something,

"I'm here Aunty Az! I had waffles for breakfast and some tropical juice and Rosa gave me some chocolate chip cookies for lunch and then Darnell upset Mummy and then we left." She said in one breath still looking out of the window.

My sister despises Darnell and hates when he comes around the family. She's been telling me to leave him for the longest but it's not that easy.

"Erm Naala what's going on? Do I need to come down there? You know I will stick my foot up his ass if he f ---"

"Language Azure! We had a hard night especially after your cryptic texts about who you bumped into yesterday - you still haven't told me who it was Zuri."

"You didn't answer my message that's why! Anyway remember Dave from the Bronx?"

Dave from the Bronx.

Wow what a blast from the past, Dave was my best friend all through out high school and even whilst I was in college. We were inseparable but our relationship never escalated until one night.

It was a summer night and the party was jumping. Dave was in the corner with his boys whilst Iman and I were chilling in the kitchen.

Dave had been acting up over the past few days and I wasn't sure what I had done. Anyway, the drinks were flowing and I was catching quite a buzz.

"Mani what did you put in this? I'm bugging already Girl" I scrunched up my face whilst sipping from the red cup Iman handed to me a minute before.

"That Henny hitting you huh?" Dave said coming behind me. His eyes were low so I'm guessing him and Hassan sparked that blunt that he promised me.

I squinted at him about to go off about the blunt and then he leaned down,

"You look startled Love, what's the matter?" Love. My surname - My nickname, a name only he could call me and I loved it. No pun intended.

"I'm fine David, Iman just tryin' get me drunk" I lowkey slurred which was proof that the alcohol was having an affect.

"You wanna hit this?" He pulled out a freshly rolled blunt that honestly made my mouth water.

I don't even remember nodding my head but before I knew we were in a room with the door closed and us lying on the bed staring at the wall.

"I need to get out of New York Love - this place ain't got nothing for me man -- "

"You can't leave me Dave - I won't let you. I need you. Please." Tears welled in my eyes, I don't know if it was because of the weed but my emotions were high. Every emotion.

He looked at me lustfully and whispered in my ear, "I would never leave you Love. But I've gotta go"

"Don't cry - I will be back and we gon' be good, you know I hate seeing you cry — " He turned over and wiped the tears that had started to fall down my cheek.

He stares at me with a hint of sadness but also with lust. I got this tingly feeling in-between my legs.

"Dave stop looking at me like that - I need to go, I'm sure Iman is looking for me --" Which wasn't a complete lie as I didn't know where she was. Dave looked at me once more and leaned in closer, licking his big full lips, oh Lord.

"Don't run away now Ma, I won't hurt you Baby —" He leaned in and our lips connected. The kiss was like ecstasy to me and I couldn't pull away.

He deepened the kiss and I started moaning into the kiss, his hands began to wonder and found the hem of my trousers.

Asking for permission which I hesitantly gave, he pulled down my leggings and his fingers swiftly touched my pussy which was screaming for his attention now.

He started planting kisses on my stomach which drove me crazy,

"Amir," I moaned his middle name which I called him from time to time. He began slide his fingers in and out in such a delicate way. He leaned down and I felt his warm breath.

"You so fucking wet Love —"

I shuddered silently and waited for him to give my kitty what she's been waiting for. His warm tongue flicked through making me wetter than I already was.

My moans could of been heard through out the whole house if it wasn't for the music.

Snapping out of my trance, I saw him release the beast from his pants and it hung so low. My eyes scanned his dick and hooded over. He looked over at me and with caring eyes he asked me:

"Love we ain't gotta do this if you don't want to"

At that point I knew Dave was the one for me - not once did he force this onto me.

"When have I ever said no?" I said in all seriousness. Dave looked at me with a humorous smile and just nodded whilst giving me the once over.

He didn't answer and slowly started to ease himself into me.

"Tell me when to stop Love, you won't be able to take all this dick tonight -- "

He knew this because I complained a lot about how big he was usually.

The pain began to ease up and a new feeling took over -I was in heaven. The pleasure I felt was breathtaking and I had definitely been missing him.

He continued to pump in and out, all that could be heard throughout the room were his grunts and my really loud moans.

"Oh my God" I moaned as he took my left titty in his mouth. He looked me in the eye as he continued to pump in out,

"You so damn sexy ma —"

I blushed intensely and bit my lip at him. He started to kiss my neck which sent me into overdrive. "Amir I'm cumminggggg" I screeched as my legs shook.

"Not so fast Love —"

That is how I night went on, orgasm after orgasm. It was only till 4 weeks later that I realised we didn't use protection. That was my mistake, I was too caught up to think about what I was doing.

I never saw Dave after that night, the last I heard was that Dave had moved to LA in search of a new life. I hope he found it because after he left my life was never the same again.

He never knew that I was carrying his child - till this day he doesn't know I was pregnant.

"Earth to Naala! Girl what is you doing?" I heard Azure say. Looking in the rear view I can see Sinai still looking out of the window which means I hadn't driven that far.

"I'm sorry Girl, I zoned out, what were you saying?" I lied, I knew exactly who and what she was talking about but for 4 years I've pushed Dave to the back of my head and that's where I would like him to stay.

"You know how my boss works with all the rappers like Lil Baby, DaBaby even that fool Gucci - well we got a call to help style an upcoming artist called Dave East."

Azure is the Executive Assistant of a huge stylist based in New York.

Fashion had always been her dream and this job has helped her in some many ways.

"I didn't think anything of it until I saw Dave walk into my office. Girl, I almost fell over - he looks so good and he still so damn fine!" She rambled on waiting for me to say something but I was stuck.

I didn't know he was a rapper but good for him I guess.

"Wow that's great!" I said so unenthusiastically hoping she would drop it because I really don't want to speak about this.

"Mommy who is Dave? He sounds cool --" Sinai said behind me with a round brown eyes searching mine for an answer. I gripped the wheel harder trying to ignore her.

"Dave was your mommy's best friend, they were always together, you would never see Naala without Dave right by her side." I rolled my eyes at my sister because when it came to Dave, Azure was his biggest supporter.

"Anyway, I need you to come down to my office at your lunch break we have something to discuss -- " she said in a serious voice.

I think her and her husband Derrick are going through it so I didn't question it and just agreed.

"I will be there at 1:30pm, I'm pulling up at the school now, let me get this girl in here before she loss her nut looking for Neveah."

"Alright Sissy, Derrick dropped Neveah off early so I'm sure she's waiting for 'Nai." After saying our goodbyes we cut the phone and I turned into the street and drove into the drop off zone.

Jumping out of the car, I grabbed my bag and swiftly got Sinai out grabbing her book bag in the process. She held onto my hand and skipped along clearly excited for the school day.

I wondered what my sister wanted to talk about - she was always on some shit.

Walking into the office with 'Nai in tow, I saw one of good friends Mia that happened to work at the front desk of St. Judes' Girls Elementary Academy.

"Hey Girl, Hi Sinai, how are you my Darling" Mia sang in her soft yet raspy voice.

Mia was someone I met when I enrolled Sinai here and we immediately hit it off. She is such a lovely soul and she always takes good care of Sinai when I'm running late or can't get there to pick her up.

"Good Morning Miss Mia" said Sinai in the sweetest voice still clinging onto me. She tends to clam up infront of people as she can be very shy.

"Mia, would you mind walking her to class? I'm running late to meet a client." I had a client that had been involved in a gross misconduct case and we were having our first briefing today to see how I can help her.

"Of course, Sinai say bye to Mommy!"

"I will see you later baby, okay? I love you miss mama's" I said while giving 'Nai a kiss on the cheek and fixing her little tie.

"I love you more mama —

I watched Sinai waddle off and then turned on my heels and headed back to my car, ready to face my hectic day at work.

--------------------------------

My meeting finished at 12:45 so I had a quick coffee and answered a few emails before setting out to meet my sister for lunch.

I logged out of my computer and slipped my heels back on - I couldn't work with my heels on I needed to be comfy.

I heard a knock on the door and I looked up, there stood my assistant Taina who also happened to be my best friend. We met when in college and were inseparable since then.

We are complete opposites but I think that's why we click so much. I hired her as my Executive Assistant because who better to help me day-to-day than my best friend.

"Naala, bald head Larry looking for you —" She whispered while she walked in holding some files. I instantly tutted - Larry was a middle-aged white man that had the biggest crush on me.

He would always make passes at me during meetings which I always ignored but it's becoming disturbing.

"He won't leave me alone man Nana, I'm gonna tell HR - he doing way too much."

"I will be right behind you girl! I caught him looking at my titties this morning, you know I don't play with my babies".

She said whilst fixing her shirt making sure her breasts were sitting pretty. I burst out laughing, hoping that nobody heard us being loud. This is why I love Taina, she never fails to make me laugh.

"Anyway girl, where we bout to eat at?" She said like that little chubby boy off Instagram.

"Taina stop playing with me! —" I laughed,

"You know I can't help it Lala, Wendy's it is." I started to think about those nuggets and my mouth watered. I almost forgot I agreed to meet Zuri at 1:30.

"Shit, Nana I can't. I promised Zuri I will come talk to her about something."

"Okay girl, let me get out of here before I run into Larry's ass again". Moving quickly, she gave me a quick hug and scurried out of the room.

"Tell Zuri she owe me a bottle of Don Julio after she chugged that shit down last week". She laughed over her shoulder.

I shuddered thinking about that night - the girls came round when Darnell was out and we got a bit too excited, I'm never doing that again.

I grabbed my bag and phone, hoping I didn't run into that weirdo Larry and headed towards the elevator.

As I walked to my car I began to think about Dave and how different our lives would have been if he knew Sinai existed.

I knew it was wrong that I didn't try and get into contact with him but to tell the truth I was hurt. He left me with no warning or no type of message to tell me where he was going.

I went throughout my whole pregnancy alone, sad and confused thinking he left me because I did something wrong. I always planned what I would say to Dave when I saw him but now it seems silly - I'm over it now.

I sped off in the direction of my Sister's office whilst listening to the radio unable to listen or focus on anything.

The news of Dave's return back to New York has made me very uneasy and I just want life to go back to how it was. I thought of Darnell and how he treats me and it all made sense.

The reason I am this way is because all the love I've ever experienced goes away so I hold onto the little I have hoping it can fill the gap in my heart.

Looking up, I saw I was a few blocks away from her office and decided to stop thinking this way. I need to focus on myself and find a way to get Sinai and I out of Darnell's reins.

I pulled into the parking complex and made sure to park extra carefully - the last thing I need was to get scratches on this car - 'Nell would have my head.

A few people stopped and stared to see the 5'5, 22 - year-old jumping out of a $75,000 Range Rover. I was used to the stares especially when Darnell and I go to all his business dinners - it's like I stick out no matter the designer clothes and jewellery he forces me to wear.

I fiddled with my car keys as I headed into the elevator hoping there was no one in there as I wasn't really in the mood for small talk.

A big burly man stepped into the elevator and looked at me questionably. He looked very familiar to me and I think he was thinking the same thing because he didn't stop looking at me till the door closed.

I shook off the weird feeling and looked at my phone to see a text from Darnell.

: I'm sorry about last night baby. I took it too far. I love you and Sinai, you know this. Me and Trey won't be back for three weeks - check your account, I love you baby X

I checked my account and say a deposit for $200,000. I rolled my eyes because this was an ongoing cycle. He hurts me then apologises with a gift that I don't need like the Rolex sitting on my wrist.

I locked my phone after deciding not to reply - it's too soon to forgive him - the bruises haven't even healed. I moved the money into Sinai's saving account, I don't want his pity money.

I got off at the 8th floor and proceeded to my Sister's office. My heels clicked loudly on the marble floor causing heads to turn and familiar eyes to fall on me.

Azure came shuttling towards me in a white jumper and a checkered skirt with some cute boots that look very familiar so they were probably mine.

Her hair was in some braids that hung elegantly displaying her smooth and makeup free face. I was always envious of my sister - she had the most perfect features that have only grown to be more beautiful over the years.

Through the trouble in my childhood and my hard pregnancy, Azure was my rock. I wouldn't know what to do without her - my actual ride or die.

"Naala I've been waiting for you" said Azure whilst dragging to my office. She looked like she was hiding something and I was getting worried

"Zuri what's the matter? You're scaring me! Is it you and Derrick? I knew you guys were on the rocks but I thought you guys were dealing with it." I started rambling on trying to find out what was going on. I always tended to ramble when I'm nervous.

"Naala Love, you are the most dramatic girl I've met. Derrick is a damn fool but we are managing. That's not why I called you here. It's time that you told Dave about Sinai --

Damn, straight to it.

'What are you talking about Azure? Dave left me --"

"Let me speak Naala, he deserves to know, that's his daughter and you are depriving them of a relationship" Azure was speaking the truth and it made me think hard about my decision.

Maybe I was wrong to take that away from 'Nai. I looked around to see if any was paying us any attention but everyone seemed to be preoccupied.

"But Zuri, don't you think it's too late now, he will hate me if he finds out that I hid this from him" I spoke freely about something I've never built the courage to say before.

I knew that Dave would hate me for what I've done but for if that's what I have to live with in order to give my daughter that father-daughter relationship she craves so badly.