My eyes fly open, someone is at the door. I groan when I see the time. Its 7:30am, meaning I've been asleep only one hour. My door opens and Bas walks in. He doesn't look like he's had any sleep at all. His hair looks like he has been running through it, he looks anxious.

I rise. "What's up, bro?" I can't help my heart hammering in my chest. Is she fine?

"It's not Zar, she's still asleep." He sits at the edge of my bed

I get out the covers and I go sit next to my brother.

"What?" I am just asking to fill the silence, but I know what he wants to say. And I still think it's a bad idea.

"We have to tell her, man."

And there it is. After our father's told us they are putting in motion their plan to corner Clark in 2 weeks, a day after he is set to announce his intentions on senate. That means that's how long we have before we lose her forever.

My chest feels hot. I blow a breath and get off the bed. I go to the window and pull open the curtains.

"And I think it's a bad idea. She will hate us either way. But we still have some time with her now." Silence descends on us. After a few minutes, I say, "I can't lose her yet. I need time. I...I just need her..."

We stay in silence once more and I blink, I can't fucking cry like a pussy. I'm a fucking don in waiting.

"Maybe we have a chance if we tell her now."

The door opens and Jose comes in. I look back at him and he also doesn't look great.

"Is Leo still asleep?"

He shakes his head. "He's downstairs drowning in his own shit." He answers

My brows furrow. It's never a good thing when Leo starts drowning in alcohol or drugs, he drinks normally but when he is emotionally stressed, he goes on binges and bad shit happens.

I start walking.

"So that's it, we don't do it cause you decided?" Bas asks from the same spot where he was sitting, looking like he wants to pummel me. But we can't. I'm not ready to lose her. Not yet. I walk out of my room, and I go to Leo's room first to check on her. She is sleeping on her side. I sit next to her, and I watch her sleep. My heart tightens more.

I can't fucking lose her yet. I'm not ready.

Her chest rises and falls delicately. Even sleeping, Zara looks breathtaking, she can still calm my raging insides.

"We are so sorry, sweetheart. We've fucked up so much. I hope we can find our way back to each other after everything." Even as I whisper the words, I know it'll be almost impossible. She won't forgive us this time. That's if she survives at all. I wish I could trade places with her and take her fate into my own body. I want to do so much for her, but my hands are tied behind my back, and I hate this feeling.

I remember my own words when we started a few months ago, "we will fall in love with her, but we will move on."

How fucking stupid was I? I knew deep inside it wasn't going to happen, but I needed to tell myself something so I can justify opening up my heart to her.

I get off the bed. I pull the covers higher on her and I kiss her forehead. Her warmth comforts me before I turn and leave. Now I need to see what kind of shit Leo wants to get himself into this time, he needs to snap out of that shit.

I find him on the couch with a beer. The tv is on with no sound but he is just staring into space. A stark difference from a few hours ago when he had our girl in his arms, and he was smiling, the happiest I'd seen him in years.

But the message from our father this morning before we went to bed had fucked all of us up. We thought we had more than a few more weeks. But two weeks wasn't enough. It wasn't. I close my eyes briefly when I see the dry tear on Leo's face. He brings the bottle to his lips, and I plop next to him. I hear the others coming down.

We hurdle in the same couch. Bas places his face on his hands and his head on his knees. He rocks back and forth.

After a few minutes of silence, he says, "We have to tell her. About all of it. The videos, the plan, everything. It will be worse if she finds out from her father."

Leo says, "At least we can explain ourselves if we do, but if Clark tells her then we will be in bigger shit."

"No. We can't." I pause. "I can't lose her. I need more time."

"This isn't about fucking you, Mase." Bas says

"We all need her. We will lose her regardless. She will hate us."

"You underestimate our relationship. I think we should take the chance. How many more times will we lie to her face?" Bas says

"No. She will hate us anyway. But at least we have two more weeks. I'm not ready to lose her. And what will we even say, huh? Where do we fucking start?"

"How about the beginning."

We all jump when we hear that voice, and my vision goes black for a split seconds when my heart rate shoots up.

Fuck.

No.

No.

We all turn to find her standing at the bottom of the stairs, wearing Leo's grey shirt. Silent tears drop from her face, but she looks calm, too calm. None of us move. Wondering how much she heard.

Leo is the first one to stand, but he isn't as graceful as he goes to her in careful steps.

"Hoshi..." I can hear his heart breaking from here

She spares him no looks and walks around him and comes to take the single seat. She sits and crosses her legs. She wipes the tears, and her expression is neutral. She is too calm for me. All of us are shitting ourselves. My own heart beats in my own ears.

"I don't want lies from you. Just tell me. Start from the beginning." She has no emotions on her face, and it makes me a thousand times more stressed. I don't know what she's thinking. What she's feeling. What she heard.

Leo goes and kneels before her, and he takes her hands.

"We fucked up. Please forgive us." He blurts out. He must have had more than any of us thought. She stares blankly at him. That hurts more than any curses she could hurl us with.

"Say something, Zar." Bas voice comes out pleading

"Just tell me, from the beginning. What your plan was. How you planned to use me. You know, all of it." She lifts her gaze to us and pulls her hands from Leo.

Her words feel like a slap. She is the aggrieved, but it feels like a stab. Leo's lips tremble slightly as his mouth opens.

"Leo, please go sit over there. I can't listen with you here." She tells him calmly. Not even mere annoyance escaping. She's giving us nothing.

"Just yell at us, please, or anything. Just...just don't do this, Hoshi." He begs

Her throat bops and her eyes glisten but she looks away.

"Leo, fucking move." Her voice comes out hard. "I'm not here for all this. Just tell me, I'll find out anyway and this whole jig is up either way. You owe me at least your honesty. At least we can end this on a clean slate."

All our eyes sharpen on her.

END?

"Zara, you can't... you can't..." I blubber

"None of you have started talking." She looks at Bas then Jose then me. She is letting us know we don't affect her. But I know she feels something. I don't like that she's retreating.

"A week before we were set to come here our fathers called us for a meeting." Jose starts. I close my eyes trying to bury my tremble. I also don't know if I can stand to see her look at us like that anymore. Like we don't even matter.

"They told us you were coming to our school, and we were to get close to you and get...leverage on your father." He clears his throat and I look at her. She doesn't seem affected.

She stares at him as if to will him to continue.

"We did." He says in a whisper

She nods in understanding.

"What did you give them?" she asks coolly

Bas's eyes land on the painting and she follows it.

"I see, cameras. Where?" she says, and I look at her.

"Everywhere here and at your dorm." Bas says

She nods.

"The Bianchi mansion?" her voice breaks. Her wall cracks but she gets her muzzle on it. I need to do something. I get off the couch and kneel next to Leo who is sitting on his legs like a child.

"We didn't know our fathers would do that. We didn't lie to you back there. We didn't take you for that reason. You have to believe us, sweetheart. We would never-"

"Lie to me? Use me? Re...cord me?" she looks like she's trying to understand herself, like she can't process the information herself

"We can fix this, baby. Just give us one more chance. We-"

"You are sorry?" she interjects. The words look like they are bitter in her mouth.

"More than that." We are now all kneeling in front of her.

She chuckles a joyless, devastatingly sad chuckle. "I hate sorry's, Bas."

Bas flinches at her calling him by the common name everyone calls him.

She gets a faraway look. "I hate fucking sorry's. What's more? You meant to hurt me. There isn't even any forgiveness I can offer you. You did it purposefully." Her words come out and they sober all of us. Tears slide down her face. "I let you meet my sick mother." She covers her face with her hands, and she shakes with her emotions.

That single moment digs a hole in my heart bigger than anything else and I know I will never get over making her feel like that.

We fucked up.

Bas touches her and she swats him. Her hands fly and they go everywhere, they land on us but we will take them as long as we get something. She pushes him and she gets up. She goes manic as she just throws her hands everywhere.

"Fuck you! Fuck all of you! Fuck. Fucking fuck you!" she yells all of us don't move, we hold on to her.

She lets out a loud tortured cry and she sobs. Her eyes look everywhere, unfocused. She breathes heavy.

"I knew you'd do it." Her voice vibrates. "I knew it. But I hoped anyway. It's my fault." Her whole-body shakes as her lips tremble. "I did it. I did it to myself."

"Baby no. It's our fault. All of us."

Tears flow freely from all of us.

"Little star, please. Let us fix this." I beg, my eyes blurry

"No." She pants and she calms herself down. She takes a moment and wipes her face. Then she schools her face.

"Baby, please don't do this."

"Star, please, don't leave us." Bas pleads

"We need each other. We need you."

She shakes her head, looking sad. Devastated. I wish I could tear my own heart and hand it to her.

"I'm alone." She rises. She pries all our hands from her. We don't want to let go. "Let me go. It's over." She says evenly. My world goes blank. Her words ring in my head.

"You can't leave us, Zahara." I whisper, looking at her and stepping to her, trying to find my girl. I search for her, and she slips from me. "Don't leave us, please."

She folds her wet lips. I see her resolve solidifying. I furrow my brows. She is just going to leave us?

"It's done. You got what you needed. I hope my father gives you everything you wanted."

My whole body doesn't feel like it's mine. I can't understand what she's saying.

"I don't know if I have to say this but don't try to talk to me. Don't come near me. Just stay the fuck away from me." She moves passed us and she heads to the door. We all turn and watch her go. None of us can move.

My soul vacates my body when she closes the door.

I blink once and I try to move but I stumble and fall.

A loud crash gets buried in the sound of my own heart about to jump out of my ears.

My love is gone.

I just lost the love of my life.

___________________________________