"Fuck."

We all move to follow her as she disappears in the stairs. A hand grabs me.

"No, son, one of you can check on her. We still have business here." My father says.

Leo gets ahead and goes after her even if I wish it was me. But my father is right, there is business to be handled. Our fathers may believe their old friend, but I don’t believe Clark. Not for one second.

Or maybe I don’t want to.

We have spent so many years hating the guy for betraying our families and starting the chain of events that led to us separating us from our best friend. I would be fucked up if everything he said was true.

So I turn to him. I guess now is as good as time as any to find out exactly what this whole shit is about.

"I don’t believe you. How do we even know you aren’t telling us tall tales?"

Clark chuckles, but it’s a dark chuckle that doesn’t reach his eyes and I get the glimpse of the man our fathers told us about. The man who had charm and the brains, but I know who was just as vicious as all the fathers.

"I don’t owe you any explanations, boy." He pauses. "But you do owe me one. What is wrong with my child?" His question comes accusing. It takes me a second to understand his question and the meaning thereof.

"No, it’s nothing like that. We were safe. She's fine." I say with a head shake.

Bas and Jose turn to give me reprimanding looks. But all the fathers know we were with her, her father isn’t dumb either.

"For your sakes, that better be the truth, or..." he turns to our fathers. "They will learn the OG street rules."

Bas's father chuckles and the noise fills the room. "Oh, come on, Sean. Do you even know what that is anymore? Isn’t your head too preoccupied with which spoon is for soup, and which baby to kiss first?"

That lightens the mood, but only by a fraction.

My father moves to the bar. "Fuck, Sean, you mother fucker. So much shit could have been avoided had you just come to us."

"Are you going to bitch about that forever? Or you would have rather we have this conversation in a fucking jail cell? Or better yet in hell?"

"You should have told us. We were brothers. We hid nothing from one another."

"And we had fucking kids! We had wives!" Clark shouts.

“You don’t have to shout, asshole. We can hear you.”

“it’s a whole mess.”

"Fucking garbage can." Leo's father murmurs. He nears the bar too.

"So, what do they plan to do with you with the senate?" my father asks

"That’s privileged information, Nate, but as you’d guess, not good."

There is silence for a few beats.

"What would happen if we blackmailed you?" Bas's father shoots the question.

"They won’t let you. Don’t you fucking get it, Jason? I work for them." His voice comes out with anger but I'm not sure who its directed to. He throws the glass he just picked up. The shatter fills the vast room.

"Well, tough shit. We backed away all those years ago and you did this shit alone, but we are all involved now. We fucking made a vow, Sean. In together, out together, always." Leo's father says.

Zahara's father rubs his hands on his forehead. "Fuck. Can’t you just let it go. These people are fucked up. They have a lot of power, Jamie. Don’t you fucking get it?"

"Tough titties, asshole, like Jamie just said." Jose's father says.

They all chuckle.

"So, is that it? All is forgiven?" Jose asks with a deep frown in his face.

The fathers all give us serious expressions. Me and my brothers are honestly stuck. Like we are watching all of them moving on and we are just frozen there not sure what we are supposed to do from here. They brought us all in this shit and now they are hopping in the carriage with their old friend and sailing into the sunset, while we are all stuck with many unresolved feelings.

"No, not all is forgiven, but if we prove what he says is true then he saved us all."

"And if he's lying?"

"Then he's dead. He knows it." My father says and dead silence falls on us all as the words settle like dust.

"Hoshi." I knock and I don’t hear any movement inside.

I knock again then I hear the toilet flush, and a few moments later, the door opens. Her hair is a mess and her face is damp, but she tries to pretend she's fine. She stands and doesn’t want to let me in.

"May I come in?"

She looks behind me to make sure the others aren’t here. It is apparent she isn’t planning on dealing with us. She moves a little and I walk in. I stop in the middle of the room and turn to her at the door.

She closes the door after a steadying breath. I don’t even know what to say to her. No number of apologies will make up for what we've done. I almost don’t want to ask her anything and let her decide what she wants to do on her own, but she is ours and she is carrying our child. Giving up and letting things be isn’t possible.

"I am fine, Leo."

Her words feel like a hot bullet in my heart. She had let us be close to her the past 2 days, but she is now closing off. Grief allowed her to accept our comfort, but she is retreating from us again.

Maybe she needs space to think about the pregnancy and what her next steps are. I want to tell her I know. Maybe she can talk to me. At this point I am desperate for anything from her.

She passes me with folded arms and sits at the edge of the bed. My gaze follows her.

I want to tell her so much. But I elect to put a muzzle on my own needs. I join her in the bed. I sit next to her and we stay in silence for a long time. I think 10 minutes passes and none of us say anything. I am just here to be here for her.

"You know, don’t you?" she asks finally

"Yes."

"Have you told them?"

"No."

Silence.

"How far along are you?"

She blows a breath.

"Eight weeks."

Fuck.

She pulls her knees to herself and then places her chin on top of them, eyes cast down. I want to give her so many assurances. Like, how all of us won’t leave her ever again and we won’t betray her.

That they will all be just as excited as I am.

An excitement I haven’t let out, but it is there, bubbling under and threatening to consume me whole. This should be such a happy time for all of us. Our first child with the love of our life. But it is awkward and tense instead.

"When were you going to tell us?" I ask because I need to know where her mind is.

"I don’t know."

I swallow the hard rock in my throat.

"Were you thinking...?"

"I don’t know, Leo. I am 18, my life is very complicated, bringing a child into this world is...a lot."

"But love we are here, just...please let us prove to you how much we are devoted to you, to us, to our child." I look at her, hoping to find her eyes and she sees I mean everything I'm saying, that all the lies are over, and we are true to her.

She looks away from me and it feels like a gut punch, but I exhale.

"There is no us, Leo." She mutters after minutes pass by. It stabs at my soul, but I can’t hear her. I can’t accept it. None of us will.

"Zuzu, we will never let you go."

She gets up from the bed and heads to the bathroom. "If you ever loved me, you will." She says over her shoulder before she closes the door.

She leaves me sitting there, pining for her again. Can’t she understand it’s an impossibility what she's asking. None of us will ever let her go. No matter how long it takes to build trust again, we will wait for her. We will never stop. Especially now that she’s pregnant.

I get up from the bed finally and I head downstairs.

I need to talk to my brothers because we need to come up with a game plan.

What the fuck are we going to do about our pregnant girl. How the fuck do we make this right.

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