Jennie goes home late again.

Why listen to Lisa?

After saying farewell, with Kai kissing her cheeks goodbye, she goes up to the front door.

She looks for the keys as a smile stays on her lips.

Soon, that smile disappears.

For she sees the lights of the living room on, like it had always been whenever she’ll go home late.

But with no Lisa in it.

No Lisa waiting for her.

She knows it’s bound to happen. She did go home rather very late.

And she does expect this to happen.

So why, does she feel bothered?

So angered? So mad? So, so infuriated?

Jennie runs up to the stairs as she clumsily leaves her things behind.

Is Lisa sleeping already?

And her anger was at its height when she holds the doorknob of Lisa’s room to check if the latter’s sleeping, only for her to hear soft murmurs and light laughter on the other side.

She wastes no time as she immediately bust the door open.

Jennie sees Lisa lounging comfortably by the blonde’s bed as she holds a phone to her ear.

She sees Lisa shot right up when the taller girl sees her, her name awkwardly dangling on Lisa’s lips, “J-Jennie.”

Jennie keeps her hold on the doorknob – her hold that gets tighter and tighter – as Lisa says to the person on the other line,

“Chaeyoung, I’ll call you back.”

Jennie bites her lips.

For Lisa stays up late, not waiting for her, but talking to Chaeyoung.

“Jennie. You’re back.” Lisa says as she sits up straight.

Jennie doesn’t reply.

Not because she can’t, but because she doesn’t know what to say.

So Lisa continues to speak, adding more fuel to the fire already blazing inside Jennie. For Lisa asks,

“Do you need me for anything?”

Not a ‘Where were you’, or ‘Why did you just arrive now’.

Not the same worried ‘Don’t go home late’ or Lisa’s usual concerned, ‘I’m worried about you’.

And Jennie feels more knives stabbing her when Lisa indifferently asks, “Do you need help with your assignments?”

“You weren’t in the living room.” Jennie mumbles, discarding what Lisa just asked.

“What?” Lisa tilts her head closer, the same comfortable look plastered on her face.

Like she doesn’t care if Jennie even goes home or not.

“You didn’t wait for me.” Jennie says, words appearing pathetic even to her own ears.

She sees Lisa’s face changes from an unconcerned one to a surprised one.

And Jennie’s changes from a shocked one to a disappointed one to a maddened one all in just a split second.

Because Lisa says, the words that Jennie never thought will be thrown at her,

Because then Lisa says – nonchalant and undisturbed,

“You were with Kai, right?”

---------------------

Jennie slams the door after that. She didn’t reply or say anything back anymore.

She’s already convinced that Lisa is an ass.

For making Jennie feel different things – to make Jennie feel disappointed in a way, for Jennie to feel anger in more ways than she thought she could even have it.

She feels sting on her eyes.

No, she’s not crying. She’s not one to cry over petty, pathetic things.

But that sting keeps on hurting and hurting her when she hears by the other side of the door,

The same soft whispers Lisa shares with Chaeyoung.

---------------------

Lisa’s already by the car door like every other day when Jennie goes outside, though she’s not looking at Jennie.

Lisa’s looking at her phone.

Jennie’s lips instantly twist and her eyebrows rise by the sight.

“Get in.” She commands agitatedly.

She sees Lisa getting dishevelled by her sudden tone and command so Lisa only nods and gets in before her.

Jennie closes the door rather loudly for anyone’s liking, even making the driver jump a little from shock.

She turns to look outside but she makes sure that she sees Lisa by the corner of her eyes.

And she sees Lisa not even once look at the phone all through out the ride.

Jennie internally smiles when she notices it.

The said smile wavers when Lisa sharply turns her head back when they almost reached the school.

When Jennie turns back to Lisa, Jennie sees Lisa constantly tap and rub tbe blonde’s knees.

Like Lisa’s troubled.

Jennie sees how Lisa looks back, then at her, and then at the driver, then looks outside again.

And Lisa’s tousled state stops when she says, “J-Jennie. May I ask the car to stop?”

Jennie burrows her eyebrows together as she looks to where Lisa’s looking, and she can’t pinpoint what it is Lisa’s looking at with how the car continues to move. So she only asks, “Why?”

“I… I just forgot I need to go somewhere before heading to school.”

“Where?”

“Just… Just somewhere nearby.” Lisa’s tensed eyes are also speaking, “Please.”

And it gnaws on Jennie with how Lisa said it.

She doesn’t like where this is going – Jennie’s sure she doesn’t like where this is going. Where Lisa’s going.

But she says, “Go,”

And she lies, “I don’t care.”

Lisa’s face immediately brightens up – and Jennie’s heart contracts – as Lisa says, “Thank you!!”

Lisa turns to the driver, “Mr. Kim, please stop the car. Thank you so much.”

The car stops and Lisa leaves, not before saying happily once more,

“Thank you so much, Jennie. See you at the house!”

Not at school, not at the front gate later, not at home.

At the house.

Jennie sighs as she instructs the driver to go already, and she turns her head to where Lisa runs to.

And she unintentionally clicks her tongue when she finds out where Lisa’s going.

She sees Lisa run up to a familiar figure – familiar because she hated seeing that person.

She sees Lisa run up to Rosé.

Rosé who’s walking and fiddling with her phone only to stop fiddling when Lisa goes to her to hug her, and Rosé does hug Lisa back but then starts making gestures to her phone with Lisa somehow appearing to apologize as the shorter girl rubs her nape.

She sees them faintly walking together – that damn, stupid smile on Lisa’s face again.

And Jennie dismisses the sight as she closes her eyes.

---------------------------

“You’ve been spacing out.”

Jennie turns to Jisoo, she says, “I’m not.”

“Don’t tell me you’re studying again because you’re clearly not.” Jisoo takes out a book.

Jennie only sighs as she doesn’t know why she’s even feeling so low.

She sees Kai, she spends time with Kai, she spends time with Jisoo.

She does things out of routine, she has the things she needs, the people she wants, and yet, she feels empty.

And that feeling of emptiness widens when Jisoo decides to tick her off more when her taller friend exclaims, “Oh, Lisa’s there!”

And Jennie’s not able to take any of it anymore,

“Would you please stop announcing that every time?” Jennie irritatingly says – and she can’t help but say it in that tone, “I don’t need to know where Lisa is.”

“Why do you sound so bitter?” Jisoo scoffs, not taking offense with how Jennie says it. Probably knowing how Jennie’s mind works already.

“I don’t sound bitter, Jisoo. You just sound like a fan girl when you see her.”

“And I’m just surprised you actually know Lisa.”

Jennie quickly turns to Jisoo and she sees that stupid smirk on her friend’s face again, making her feel the humiliation and panic in herself again.

And Jennie’s quick to hide her feelings, “I don’t.”

Jennie continues to glare at Jisoo, and Jisoo continues to stare back at her.

Though it was Jennie who quickly looks away, fearing that Jisoo sees through her façade.

And Jennie releases a breath of relief when Jisoo says, “Okay. If that’s what you say so.”

Ending their conversation, and ending whatever ill emotions playing inside Jennie.

-----------------

But emotions are powerful things.

They make smart people do foolish things, they make strong people weak to the bones, they make tough people cry, they make angry people be patient, they make patient people take initiative, they make unmoved people worry, they make sane people go crazy.

They make you seem crazier than you thought you are – than you already are.

They make you feel more than you should, that when you know you want to shove feelings out and you know you want to act normal, damned feelings shove it back to your face that you can’t.

Shove it to your face that feelings would always take over you.

Again and again and again.

No matter how smart you are, no matter how sane you are.

That no matter how much you know how your brain works, your heart says otherwise – your heart acts otherwise.

That when you want to think straight and clear,feelings would always cloud your mind.

And so when dismissal comes and Jennie chances upon Rosé on Lisa’s usual table – alone and with no Lisa tagging behind – Jennie’s mind fogs up again as she decides to have a quick chat with Rosé.

“Hello, Rosé.” Jennie throws a smile – which she forces her lips to form – at Rosé. Jennie takes her bag off her shoulder to place it on Lisa’s table instead, she sits comfortably as she takes out a pocket book.

Maybe sitting there gives her the same sense of owning Lisa.

Rosé turns to her and returns that phony smile back, “Hello, Jennie.”

“Where’s your ‘bestfriend’?” Jennie mocks, but she continues to smile.

She sees Rosé narrow her eyes for a second before returning to her merry self, Rosé replies, “She’s just getting her things,”

And it was Jennie’s turn to narrow her eyes when Rosé continues,

“We’re going to our karaoke ‘date’ after.”

Jennie feels her mouth twitch, “Do I look like I care?”

Rosé shrugs, “Just letting you know,”

And Jennie’s mouth twitches harder,

For Rosé adds, “In case you decided to spoil it again.”

Jennie clutches the pocket book tighter, letting the building rage inside her make its way to her eyes.

Jennie eyes Rosé immensely – hoping to tear gaps and burn holes inside that little, meddling head of hers.

But Jennie tries to keep her cool.

“For the record, Rosé,” Jennie bats an eye at the other girl, “Lisa was the one who agreed to put off your little ‘date’.”

Rosé scoffs as the smirk stays on her lips, “And that makes you think you know Lisa more?”

It was Jennie’s turn to scoff, “Oh, I know plenty of stuff about your bestfriend.”

“Like what?”

Jennie feels confident, “Like how she sleeps like a log, like how she knows to draw, like how she has a sketchpad back at their house, like how she likes television dramas, like how she’s not one to be physical – and gets rigid as a stick when touched. Oh, there was this one time in our trip to Anyang as well. But that’ll be too many information.”

Jennie maintains her glares at Rosé, and Rosé stares back.

But it makes Jennie wonder why Rosé is not returning the same amount of loathing Jennie is channelling through her glares.

Rosé is not shooting daggers back at her, only an amused look and a smug smirk on her stupid face.

Jennie does not falter, though. She keeps her composure as she finishes her list, “Simple things like that.”

Rosé laughs lowly, “Are you done?”

Jennie doesn’t like where this is going, but she has to reply.

But words get stuck in her throat and so she only crosses her arms as she shrugs.

She sees Rosé’s grin getting wider and wider,

Because Rosé starts with her own list,

“Lisa likes to sleep, she’s a very heavy sleeper. That it takes a very hard time to wake her up. There was even an instance where she fell asleep in the karaoke. Imagine that?” Rosé muses, but she does not stop yet, “Lisa knows to draw – in fact, she’s very good at it – but did you know that she also knows how to play the guitar? That she also knows how to speak Japanese? That she also knows how to sing and dance?”

Rosé continues to throw questions – facts­ – at Jennie that Jennie feels her ears get hot by fume and humiliation once more.

Because she does not know any of that about Lisa.

But still, Rosé doesn’t stop, “Did you know that it was Lisa’s father’s dream for Lisa to be a singer? Did you also know that Lisa feels hot easily and she sweats a lot? Kind of a turn-off, but she does manage to keep it to a minimal, don’t you think?"

Rosé finally glares at her, “Jennie?”

Jennie starts to breathe heavily, her hands already turned into fists, and her mouth ready to answer back.

But still, Rosé continues, “Lisa likes television dramas, so immersed that she actually easily falls in love with the characters. And Lisa, sadly, isn’t that good in cooking. So she makes up for it by preparing the food and helping with the cleaning instead."

Rosé stabs Jennie more when Rosé says –taunting, “And do you also know that one can’t help but cringe when she acts all cute?"

And Rosé continues to stab her with, “But Lisai’s still cute, nonetheless.”

The biggest jab to Jennie was when Rosé scorns, mocks, “Anything else you want to know, Jennie?”

And Rosé absolutely kills her when Rosé says – triumphantly and proudly,

“Those are just the basics.”

Jennie loses it once more.

Her breathing was more than heavy – was more than frayed.

She continues to stare – glare – at Rosé demeaningly because it’s the only thing she can do.

Not a word was able to form from disbelief that she doesn’t know how to answer back to any of those things thrown at her.

Because she can’t say anything back.

Because she doesn’t have anything to say back.

Jennie closes the pocket book hard as she stuffs it back inside her bag harshly.

She assertively pulls her bag – still not breaking her glares at Rosé as she does so – as she brashly loops it on a shoulder.

She continues to throw daggers at Rosé, and Rosé just continues to smirk victoriously.

And Jennie only breaks their glares when she feels the familiar sting surrounding her eyes as she turns around and walks away.