Jennie’s stupid.

She admits to herself now.

She’s the dumbest, most ridiculous, most idiotic human being in the world right now. She knows now, she only knows now.

She realizes now.

All these time, all those moments.

Jennie finally realizes.

Whenever Lisa touches her, or simply talks to her, or simply smiles at her, or looks at her.

Whenever she feels that stupid heart-jerking, hair-pulling, gut-wrenching feeling inside her whenever Lisa’s attention is not on her but on someone else, or when Lisa’s simply away, or when Lisa smiles at others.

When she feels irrationally mad because of small things related to Lisa that affect her in ways they shouldn’t.

When all her anger is lashed out to other people – to other people like Jisoo, or Rosé, or Sehun, or Kai – most especially Kai.

Jennie’s stupid.

Because she only realizes now.

And so with her mind made up, she asks Kai to meet with her. For what? Maybe to apologize, to patch things up with him finally, and to… tell him things. Jennie doesn’t know what to talk about, either.

She just knows she needs to talk to Kai.

Because Kai’s a great guy that needs a great life, and Jennie’s not helping on that one.

Not with the heavy baggage Jennie’s been mindlessly carrying around.

And so Jennie asks Kai to meet with her.

To meet with her, and hopefully – Jennie desperately hopes – not for the last time.

They talk it over coffee and tea, with Kai still being the nice guy that he is, and Jennie feels bad for being so awful to him.

“What made you want to talk?” Kai circles the mouth of the cup, a small smile on his lips, “It’s somehow unusual.”

“Why? We always meet.” Jennie drinks her tea.

“Yeah, but,” Kai shrugs, “I feel that this one is different.”

It is. Jennie thinks as she bites her lip.

“Kai, I,” Jennie glances outside, because it’s easier than glancing at the guy in front of her, “I want to talk to you about something.”

Kai only raises an eyebrow, “Go ahead.”

“I’m…” Jennie fidgets, the words on her mouth heavy as they are in her mind, “… I’m sorry.”

She sees Kai only look at her with confusion on his face, “What for?”

“For… For everything. For all our meaningless fights, for our endless bickers, for our never-ending arguments,”

Jennie speaks faster now, afraid that the words won’t come out if she doesn’t let them come out faster, “I put you through a lot, Kai, and I feel bad, of course I do. And I thank you for being there for me, when I’m losing my mind,” She laughs at herself, and she’s thankful Kai’s laughing with her, “Whenever I’m going crazy, and you’ve been there for me. All this time, and you never grew tired. And I… I appreciate that,” Jennie finally looks at him, “I appreciate you.”

He doesn’t reply, he doesn’t speak. He just keeps his gaze at Jennie, and Jennie can’t seem to read him anymore. Because there’s only a small smile on his face. His face so calm, and collected. Just like how he really is.

And it gnaws at Jennie more, because she has to continue with whatever it is she was saying,

“I… love you, Kai.” Jennie looks at him longingly, the words appearing grave and yet so futile, its meaning different than many think it means, “I love you, and you know that. I told you even before you went overseas, even before we separated the first time, even before we started seeing each other again, even before… now,

“And Kai, I love you, and I want you to be happy,” Jennie reaches for his hand, and she smiles when he lets her hold him, “I… don’t make you happy. I can’t. I don’t know what was wrong then, it’s only now, Kai, that I realized… that I will never make you happy, not with how you make me happy. And it’s unfair to you, and it’s cliché – I know what you’re thinking,” Kai smiles more at that, but he looks down as he does, and Jennie only continues, “But you are a great guy, and I let you know that all the time, and I can’t keep you from being happy. Because you deserve it, Kai.”

“You deserve to be happy, Jongin.”

Jennie knows tears want to break free from her eyes, but she doesn’t let them. Because she doesn’t cry, and so she endures the sting that lingers there.

She holds Kai’s hand tighter, oh how comforting it still is, and Jennie feels weight been lifted from her when Kai holds hers back.

He brings her hand closer to his lips and he kisses it, his smile still glued to his face – the face that Jennie still find so gentle and composed,

“Thank you, Jennie.” He simply says, “For not breaking our hearts any longer.”

Jennie softens her gaze at him, and she could only let her hand cup his face as she stare at him like this for the last time,

“I’m sorry, Kai.”

Kai only chuckles, bringing Jennie’s hand down from his face and into his hand once more, “It’s alright. I knew this was about to happen any time soon.”

Jennie frowns at that, “What made you think that?”

And Jennie likes to think that there’s something about teasing her that people find amusing, because she sees the same sly smirk on Kai’s face, too.

Though Jennie’s mind completely shuts off when Kai asks – but it’s more of a statement,

“It’s Lisa, isn’t it?”

“H-Huh? Wh-What are you saying?” Jennie carefully withdraws her hand because she suddenly feels like playing with her hair rather than have this conversation.

“Ah, Jennie!” Kai stretches as he laughs, “You’re so easy to read! Do you think I never noticed?”

“N-Notice what?”

Kai continues to smile, but then he keeps quiet for a moment. He brings his eyes to stare at Jennie directly, and Jennie tries her best to look back at him.

“Jennie,” Kai speaks so seriously, it’s starting to scare Jennie, “It’s the way you look at Lisa, Jennie,” He closes his eyes as his smile keeps on spreading on his face, “And you never looked at me that way.”

Jennie sees him open his eyes again and look straight at her once more, her heartbeat increasing terribly faster than she intends to.

Kai only continues to chuckle softly, “You look like a deranged predator whenever Sehun was with her!”

“I-I don’t!” Jennie finally manages to say, “Sehun’s just really annoying!”

“And Rosé?” Kai seems to be amused with how their conversation is going.

“W-What? What even?” Jennie tucks her hair, “Rosé’s also annoying, that’s why.”

“Rosé’s a sweetheart, give her a chance.” Kai sips his coffee, and Jennie feels the weight of his stares.

She just knows he’s enjoying this way too much.

“Yeah, if she stops clinging on to Lisa, then maybe I can reconsider.” Jennie crosses her arms, not able to fight the annoyance in her tone again.

“See? That’s what exactly I’m saying!” Kai laughs, “Ah, Jennie. Why can’t you just admit it?”

“Admit what?”

Jennie sees Kai open his mouth as to say something, but he closes it again, then another grin forms on his face, “I won’t say it. I want you to be the one to figure it out.”

Jennie unintentionally puffs her cheeks and Kai lightly pinches them.

“I hate you now.” Jennie sighs as she fakes hatred.

“No, you don’t. Even if you want to, you can’t.” Kai states proudly, well what he said is true.

Jennie breaks into a small laughter,

And it’s only then that Jennie wonders if Sehun and Lisa also had this talk.

And it’s only then that Jennie wonders,

Why is it always Lisa and only Lisa that’s in her mind?

⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

Another update for u guys! :> coz why not? 🥥