I washed down my Adderall

with whiskey and nicotine this morning.

I skipped my daily coffee

'cause it just felt boring.

I'm not really sure who I am lately,

But I feel okay with it.

Maybe there's something in the air these days.

It feels a little toxic to me,

But I'll take it.

Anything is better than feeling incomplete.

That's all I've come to know since you left me.

3 years isn't long enough to forget about 15.

I was just a kid when you met me.

Now we have kids of our own

And I never thought I'd be raising them without you with me.

Yeah, it still hurts

And I'm still bitter.

Heartbroken doesn't begin to describe

what I feel when you're with her.

She was my best friend for so long.

Now I feel like the biggest part of who I was is gone.

You could've chosen anyone else in the world.

Anyone at all.

'Cause when you walked away

She was the only one I wanted to call.

You got your revenge

for the way I stopped putting up with your bullshit and finally ended what we had.

And I got to stand there with no one to pull the knife from my back.

Your spiteful ways went a little too far this time and I don't think we can come back from that.

I don't think we'll ever stop wanting to fix this.

But I know that we'll always be wasting our time.

'Cause sometimes even love

Isn't enough to revert 2 hearts back to 1.

That's how I know I'll never heal.

There's never going to be a way

to find closure from something that should have never happened.

Especially when we both feel the same

And we can't undo the damage.

I've tried to deny these feelings

Because I didn't want them to be true.

But it's about time that we admit defeat

Because there's not much more we can do.

I hope you understand that I will love you more than I've ever thought possible,

For the rest of my days on earth.

And I'm so fucking sorry that my best wasn't good enough for you

And it's always gonna hurt.